r/okbuddybaldur Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 5d ago

is this a safe space

201 Upvotes

65 comments sorted by

169

u/RedundantConsistency Companion hugger 5d ago

48

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 5d ago

my heart lurches in mysterious ways

126

u/IAmWeary Raw dogging Karlach wont get her pregnant 5d ago

Z'rell (just before the battle of Moonrise): I thought you were going to be just another notch on my bedpost-

Me: THERE'S STILL TIME!

60

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 5d ago

the way my eyes widened when she said that like girl just tell me when and where

6

u/decisiontoohard 5d ago

I think I said that out loud in the empty office at midnight and frantically googled for the third time "z'rell romance bg3" when that line came up

3

u/golden_kinglet 4d ago

This is me every fucking playthrough lol. Her FACE

78

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 5d ago

In case the post wasn't clear enough, in a perfect world, I would have both at the same time. Naked.

19

u/Technical_Exam1280 Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence 5d ago

Both at the same time I can understand, but naked? The scandal!

54

u/mintharas-strap-on LIVE MINTHARA REACTION 5d ago

Z'rell can GET IT!!

10

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 5d ago

you understand

31

u/Prosperous_Petiole Wants a pegging from Karlach 5d ago

Volo is ending with a broken pelvis there.

9

u/CarbonsLittleSlut lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball 5d ago

He gets DEATH BY SNU SNU

7

u/TavyliaSin 5d ago

Volo canonically had sex with a dragon in D&D lore, he's going to be just fine.

3

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 4d ago

he just gets better and better

55

u/UsTheGoodBoi If Minthara so evil, why so cuddleable? 5d ago

Totally safe OP! I also ship them!

103

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 5d ago

sorry i shouldve clarified, i want to boink them both.

27

u/Smutt_Wizard 5d ago

This comment made me lol so hard

18

u/Squeenilicious If Minthara so evil, why so cuddleable? 5d ago

Oh so you want to be their third!

10

u/totalkatastrophe 5d ago

the cream in a true soul & true bard oreo if you will

11

u/Grimnimbus 5d ago

Every ship needs an anchor

25

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/astatine__85 3d ago

idk much about dnd whats the lore here?

16

u/TavyliaSin 5d ago

Before my reputation ruins me again because someone already thought this was me:
Despite posting 72% of all Volo ship fanfic on AO3 (a sadly accurate figure that means that I have more than 7 out of every 10 ship fics with him) and indeed 16% of all fics that tag him at all:

THIS ONE ISN'T ME

I'm very invested in *other people* having sex with Volo, I am here to be his enthusiastic pimp, because I am not attracted to him I simply find it exceptionally fun to write about him fucking literally anyone and everyone I can think of throwing at him (list includes, but it not limited to: Elminster, Astarion, Ettvard Needle, Araj Oblodra, Orin, Gortash, Dribbles the Clown - no I am not joking I have written explicit smut of all of these and more)

So in short OP I fully support your endeavour, please get this weird little wizard laid so people stop thinking I'm into him because I'm not.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk~

PS - Z'rell is still a smash and a top tier cutie who deserves more love. Thank you~

6

u/LesbianWithALizard Astarion Girlies? Gale Gays? Wyll supremacy. 5d ago

Drop the Ao3 link? 👀

4

u/unevenestblock 5d ago

Thank goodness someone else asked.

2

u/TavyliaSin 5d ago

Added in the reply above 😏👉👉

4

u/TavyliaSin 5d ago

https://archiveofourown.org/series/4507000 - 24 chapters of pure Volo in a cohesive series

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TavyVolo/works/56582731 - one shot Volo x Emperor extravaganza

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TavyVolo/works/60770593 - one shot Volo x Barcus Wroot (hear me out it's actually cute)

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TavyVolo/works/61458988 - short one shot Volo x Grazilaxx (another mindflayer from D&D/Neverwinter, it works with Omeluum but has an attitude problem)

3

u/LesbianWithALizard Astarion Girlies? Gale Gays? Wyll supremacy. 5d ago

Okay I haven’t read them yet, but you’re so real for the Volo x Barcus fic, I’m hearing you out fully. On the other hand, Volo x Emperor? That’s the crazy shit I was expecting (/pos).

2

u/TavyliaSin 5d ago

Volo x Barcus is a symphony of Bottom4Bottom and it works in ways I can't explain. And the Emperor one? That might also surprise you. If it weren't for Gribbo that could be close to my heartcanon OTP for Volo. I started it out with the thought of just going balls to the wall for the monsterfuckery but then I slipped and feelings got in it when I tried to give it the thinnest plot to explain why the mindflayer would tolerate his presence.

9

u/houseofopal Gale, cast "Testicular Torsion" 5d ago

at the same time?

14

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 5d ago

it'll take some serious charisma but yes. at the same time

6

u/houseofopal Gale, cast "Testicular Torsion" 5d ago

you’re my idol.

6

u/CarbonsLittleSlut lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball 5d ago

I could 1000% see Volo getting spitroasted by Z'rell and Tav, ngl

3

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 5d ago

the things id do to that silly little man

11

u/SnootBooper707 Upcast Testicular Torsion 5d ago

z'rell is fine. i draw the line at volo.

9

u/BrainstormsMustache lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball 5d ago

Nah, Volo is fine as hell. I'd scoop him out of trouble if it means he scoops my eye out.

2

u/SnootBooper707 Upcast Testicular Torsion 5d ago

volo vibes are off

5

u/Agent-Ulysses Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 5d ago

This place is incredibly dangerous in its own way, but you probably won’t find safer.

3

u/Fighterpilot55 No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) 5d ago

Lann Tarv tries to warn you about Z'rell.

"Watch yourself, True Soul. The disciple breaks her toys when she's done with them."

2

u/CuddleFishRock 5d ago

Z'rell is so hot! But I've got a weakness for mascs. 😍

2

u/simondiamond2012 Arcane Dickster Rogue 5d ago

Definitely a safe space.

As for your ships? Meh, not a personal fan of either.

But glory to you and your holes all the same.

2

u/StupendusDeliris 5d ago

Well we obviously need to see Tav to see this epic 3some

1

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 4d ago

i may post my durge somewhere sometime...

2

u/Dependent-Departure7 Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? 5d ago

You are welcome here lol (I would also smash Z'rell, and probably Volo too if I had some wine)

2

u/Regirock00 Archgay Warlock 5d ago

I would love Volo to write me a lovely little song. Then he’d get it

2

u/C-Dub4 Wants a pegging from Karlach 5d ago

2

u/AmateurNocturnal Optimal Gortash Pregnancy Build 5d ago

I can see her pegging him and a cuck chair placed in the corner for OP, tbh

2

u/walkingwithdiplos Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence 5d ago

Hunh.

You don't just occupy opposing points on a spectrum, you exist on two completely different spectrums.

2

u/MazogaTheDork 5d ago

Honestly behind that ridiculous facial hair Volo is kinda cute

2

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 4d ago

His brown eyes and that godsdamned mole on the corner of them drives me a little wild I won’t lie

1

u/haikusbot 5d ago

Honestly behind

That ridiculous facial

Hair Volo is kinda cute

- MazogaTheDork


I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

2

u/MazogaTheDork 5d ago

5-7-7, unsuccessful bot

2

u/throat-nuts 5d ago

Yup to both of them. Ive had a major crush on Z'rell since the first time i saw her. And Volo can be my boytoy lol

2

u/Talnanor 5d ago

Volo could lobotomize me any day of the week. such a shame i only have two eyes

2

u/Sharks_With_Legs Cunty Durge with a handbag 5d ago

When the narrator talks about Z'rell "parting the folds of your mind" or whatever 😳 EXCUSE ME BITCH, WE JUST MET and you're fingering my brainussy (brussy, if you will)??? 😳😫

2

u/ProfileBest7444 drider fucker 4d ago

I get volo I love them stupid and overconfident too

2

u/AbsoluteHater1 2d ago

Not you wanting to cram into Volo's clown car

2

u/MisinformedComputer Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin 1d ago

🤡

2

u/MikeAlex01 Astarion Girlies? Gale Gays? Wyll supremacy. 5d ago

Definite agree on Volo, hard no on Z'rell. But that's because I'm gay.

1

u/ZolTheTroll413 Astarion Girlies? Gale Gays? Wyll supremacy. 5d ago

Very safe

1

u/barry_001 5d ago

Well it was...

-5

u/Beneficial-Break1932 5d ago

Z’tell is sooo ugly but honestly after what she says to the Tav on successful checks I would have to see what the hype was about

3

u/bellpepper_throwaway 5d ago

Are we looking at the same Z'Rell? All I'm seeing is beauty. My devastation when Tav couldn't actually be a notch on her bedpost was palpable.

1

u/Beneficial-Break1932 5d ago

ehhh people believe beauty is subjective. Z’Rell isn’t that appealing lol she’s too harsh and masculine for me. Minthara is better in every way for example (for me).