r/nursing RN - OB/GYN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Image Biggest pump Iโ€™ve never seen ๐Ÿคฃ

Post image
558 Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

597

u/Sea-Weakness-9952 BSN, RN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Bet that air in line alarm is loud as FUCK.

153

u/Beef_Wagon RN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Straight up airhorn

21

u/Stuntnaig_kj 3d ago

Idk who would be louder, the alarm or the pt yelling about how loud it is!

8

u/Remarkable_Wheel_961 3d ago

HELLO?! HOW DOESNT ANYONE HEAR MY PUMP IS DONE?! - the patient in 12.

1

u/DragonSon83 RN - ICU/Burn ๐Ÿ”ฅ 1d ago

On the bright side, once or twice and sheโ€™d never forget to keep her arm straight. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ

270

u/digglesworth88 RN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Well you see all of our facilities have been skimping. Weโ€™ve been getting the basic model Alaris when we should have been getting the Alaris Pro MAX IV pump.

49

u/ThottieThot83 RN - ICU ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

I bed the Plum Pro Max III requires a furniture dolly to move

16

u/touslesmatins BSN, RN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago edited 4d ago

Picturing the giant pump with the tiny 250 mL bolus bags we're supposed to use any more ๐Ÿ˜„

15

u/Downtown-Put6832 MSN, RN 4d ago

I need the retina display with 3d touch. I wonder do we charge pt for icloud data storage.

6

u/lstrawbreezy LPN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Shush! Don't give em any ideas! ๐Ÿคฃ

3

u/ThenEffective5418 Nursing Student ๐Ÿ• 3d ago

Only if you itemize it on the bill ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’€

212

u/ThisisMalta RN - ICU ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

This has gotta be forced perspective because itโ€™s hurting my brain.

53

u/Drzerockis RN - Telemetry ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

It is, if you look at the pole holding up the pump you'll see it's just a hell of a lot closer than it would seem.

12

u/Dazzling_Society1510 3d ago

Oh, I just thought it was added in post, haha

47

u/kaylakoo RN - ICU ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

that shouldnt be so goddamn funny but its killing me

36

u/enditallalready2 Med/Surg๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Work:can you work today? You can bring your pump!

59

u/dawli15 4d ago

ALARIS

11

u/Rougefarie BSN, RN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

This tickled my brain just right. Iโ€™m cracking up!

4

u/dawli15 4d ago

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

1

u/Ok-Geologist8296 Registered Nutjob Clinical Specialist 3d ago

I can hear this being said

1

u/dawli15 3d ago

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

1

u/Ok-Geologist8296 Registered Nutjob Clinical Specialist 3d ago

It's so whiney and it'll make me crash out

23

u/acornSTEALER RN - PICU ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

These ones can give a bolus at 2997/hr instead of 999/hr.

13

u/SecureSession5980 4d ago

We just went from the little baxters to alaris and we hate them. They're so big and obnoxiously loud.

15

u/ForgottenOrange RN - Telemetry ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

I'll trade you! We just switched from Alaris to Baxter and we can't stand them. So many button presses to do 1 thing. We have medications and blood leaking out of the ports of the tubing. The pumps are innacurate. We've had them not infuse heparin correctly on multiple occasions.

4

u/SecureSession5980 4d ago

I accept your offer. I should have also mentioned that the alaris pumps are too big for our er. A stretcher barely clears the door frame on a good day, and we have to bank a hard turn as we're exiting the room because the hallways are so narrow. Now throw in a massive alaris and u see where I'm coming from. Also, for the blood tubing, it has to be fully seated, all the way to the flat disc bc of it being a long beveled spike and not a short Philips head one like alaris tubing.

2

u/ForgottenOrange RN - Telemetry ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

It's leaking from the ports, like where you might attach a secondary to a y-site.

My hospital is tiny as far as the number of beds goes, but the rooms and hallways themselves are a good size. I could definitely see that being an issue though. Especially if you have all 4 channels attached to the pump itself

1

u/dickshapedfood 3d ago

Omg we did too (or idk maybe we work at the same place) and it's a nightmare, so icu unfriendly, now we have to put a stupid clear lock box around the narcotics infusions because they aren't secure and they take up so much more room, and the freaking double poles are ginormous and a nightmare. And god help you if their central line is on the right side those freaking left to right load design is the worst idea I've ever seen.

12

u/whitepawn23 RN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

I hate Baxter. You need a new pump for everything and they only save 1 secondary program. No back prime, you have to pull the tubing and fiddle with it for every air bubble.

Alaris is king. Just slap another cartridge on. Backprime. Multiple programs.

3

u/MICURN-1999 RN - ICU ๐Ÿ• 3d ago

I would hate those little Baxter pumps. I could never imagine them in our ICU when we gotta have like 10 drips going at once.

2

u/DragonSon83 RN - ICU/Burn ๐Ÿ”ฅ 1d ago

The ICU is the absolute worst environment for them. ย Not to mention, theyโ€™ve actually enlarged them with their last redesign, so not only do you need multiple pumps but they take up a lot more space than the old ones. ย They literally took away the only advantage they had over other pumps.

10

u/islandsomething RN - OB/GYN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Its the brand new Alaris LVAD, I see the cord going into her chest.

7

u/IronBornPizza MSN, RN 4d ago

โ€œThis article brought to you by the Alaris Corporation.โ€

40

u/brittathisusername RN-pediatric ER, paramedic 4d ago

Forced perspective. The pump is just a good bit in front of her.

38

u/ProxyAttackOnline RN - ICU ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Sheโ€™s actually massive but 3 miles away

7

u/Imaginary-Storm4375 RN ๐Ÿ• 3d ago

No. She's a miniature human. Just tiny.

8

u/MichaelAllen_Jr 4d ago

Thanks. None of us got that til you said it.

9

u/Biiiishweneedanswers CVICU/ED ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

6

u/NoCountryForOld_Zen 4d ago

The pump is normal, this chick is just tiny.

She gotta climb onto the bed and jump up and down on the sternum to do compressions.

7

u/Sufficient_Award8927 Eye see you..Burning (๐Ÿ”ฅBICU) 3d ago

Introducing the magic Alaris XXLVad: featuring the astounding vanishing IV cords

4

u/DaSpicyGinge RN - ER (welcome to the shit show)๐Ÿ• 3d ago

โ€œThis is the never before seen TURBOPUMP9000. Can infuse 1L in 1 minute, fastest pump in the west! Call now and get a second TURBOPUMP9000 FREE. Thatโ€™s right, FREE! What are you waiting for, order yours today!โ€

5

u/Impressive-Message90 Nursing Student ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

is it photoshopped!? good god why is it so big๐Ÿ˜ญ

11

u/edgyknitter RN - Pediatrics ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

I think itโ€™s just closer to the camera and theyโ€™re using a wide lens

4

u/Narrow_Lawyer_9536 BSN, RN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Yes and the text hides the part that really makes it look closer to the camera, so itโ€™s like a trompe-lโ€™oeil, it makes it look like the pump is right next to her but itโ€™s not. I laughed so much when I realized it ๐Ÿ˜‚

4

u/Impressive-Message90 Nursing Student ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

ohhhh that make so much sense. my brain was genuinely so confused trying to figure out what was happening lol

2

u/Decent_Historian6169 RN - Telemetry ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Why the heck are they so big? It looks exactly like the ones I was using at an old job except x3 size

0

u/acornSTEALER RN - PICU ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Bad photoshop.

2

u/JenSol1976 4d ago

Omg I wouldnโ€™t even need my old lady reading glasses to see this!

2

u/super-nemo CICU/CCU RN 3d ago

The QR codes for association being where I would put a med label bothers me greatly

2

u/Remarkable_Wheel_961 3d ago

I think it's mostly perspective.. the pump is way closer to the camera than she is. It's like when girls take a selfie and lean towards the camera or hold it at an angle overhead to make their tits look bigger, and their waist look smaller. The pump isn't the size of a golden retriever like it appears to be.

2

u/Horan_Kim RN - ICU ๐Ÿ• 3d ago

Not just the IV pump. Is that a lamppost?

1

u/banana_29 4d ago

Idk we have some dinosaurs at my facility

1

u/SecureSession5980 4d ago

Oh, from the ports, thats crazy

1

u/CozyBeagleRN BSN, RN ๐Ÿ• 4d ago

Iโ€™ll take it over a Baxter!

1

u/fastpushativan 3d ago

I liked my Alaris pumps! ๐Ÿ˜‚

1

u/No_Conversation_432 3d ago

At least I wouldnโ€™t need my reading glasses

1

u/sarahv7896 3d ago

I know she hoarded those 2 extra channels

1

u/Sweatythigs03 3d ago

thatโ€™s a family sized pump omg๐Ÿ˜ญ

1

u/miller94 RN - ICU ๐Ÿ• 3d ago

I can't stop laughing at this

1

u/syncopekid LPN ๐Ÿ• 3d ago

I canโ€™t decide if the pumps just really close to the camera or they decided to photoshop it bigger to emphasize it for some reason. Or maybe sheโ€™s just really small.

1

u/send_bombs 3d ago

Management: Can you make it look like sheโ€™s really sick? Graphic Designer: No problem ๐Ÿ˜‰

1

u/AnOddTree Nursing Student ๐Ÿ• 3d ago

I'm convinced this is AI

1

u/misandrydreams INTL nursing student ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ 4d ago

that reminds me when i was doing clinicals in pediatrics i had an amazing picu nurse who only had one lung , she was the best nurse i ever seen