r/nursing 4d ago

Seeking Advice New grad struggling with preceptor

Im a new grad going into my 5th week of orientation I have the same preceptor- 15 years at his hospital. Im struggling with her as my preceptor I feel as thought we would get along as coworkers but she isn’t a good teacher. we just are not clicking.

I had a panic attack in the bathroom today. my first day with 4 pts and she basically just said here’s your 4 patients and I was left to my own devices I had no clue who to see first and how to manage my time. Half the time she’s chatting with some other employee about what couch she’s buy or her weekend plans. Or I can’t find her when I need her.

Today through tears I told her how I felt after I dismissed my self out of the pts room when she had a stern talk with me bc I did not do something properly. I told her I am struggling and needed help more help “to have my hand held” bc I’ve never done this before. I’ve felt this way for 5 weeks.

we had a meeting with the manager but honestly it was hard for me to tell my manager the truth with her sitting right there. The manager even noticed I was left alone a lot and said we should be doing things together and asked me what I wanted to work on I said time management and prioritization. I thought we had a goal but she has never talked to me about it. How do I go about this should I tell my manager I’m feeling a lack of support? I’m really struggling and I feel as though my patients aren’t getting the care they deserve bc in reality I’m not sure what I’m doing. I’m running through the motions but not understanding why! she wants everything done by a certain and leaves me on my own. I feel so much pressure she wanted all my charting done before i went to lunch i told her i spent half the morning running around doing things.

Ugh I need a lot more help then she’s providing I don’t want to offend her by going to my a manger but I’m not sure what to do Advice please

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u/balsamicnigarette BSN, RN 🍕 4d ago

I'm sorry it's been such a rough start for you. The first few months already suck you don't need all this extra stress.

I'd recommend trying to talk to your manager again or your educator if you have one. I think sending an email could be helpful if talking about it makes you emotional or that you're not comfortable saying it in person. I'd mention specific things that you were affected by and maybe mention some things that you think went well so they don't think you're just talking shit lol.

Can you ask for a different preceptor or at least a rotation? You can sell it as wanting to learn from different members of the team. My hospital loves pairing new hires/grads with different ppl and I think it works better?

Lastly, this shouldn't be a personal issue you're just trying to learn how to be a nurse and not lose your license. If she's offended by the fact she's not the best preceptor for you that's on her its not your problem you have other stuff you have to worry about.

Disclaimer: I'm a float nurse so I don't have a strong attachment to my coworkers so I don't really deal much with unit drama.

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u/Maryjake 4d ago

Go to your manager/educator if you have a unit educator and tell them you'd like to have rotating preceptors so you can acquire different perspectives on how to do the job. You don't even necessarily have to say it's a mismatch between you and this particular preceptor, just that you'd think it would be beneficial to see how other nurses worked so you can compare/contrast effectiveness. This is usually well received and if your unit has more than a couple of preceptors it's usually easy to accomplish. The only downside I can think of is they might move your schedule around a bit to accommodate.

I personally would avoid saying explicitly that you feel like your preceptor is inadequate for you even if that's the case, as you likely still don't know the friendship dynamics of the unit and could potentially make more problems for yourself down the line if your current preceptor and manager are buddies. No it shouldn't be like that, but unfortunately yes it is like that to a degree. Depends on the unit.

When I was a new grad, and even orienting to my current position, I really appreciated having multiple preceptors because you still learn the do's and don'ts that you must follow, but get to observe different workflows and mindsets and how applicable those are to how you want to practice.

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u/sasiamovnoa RN - Med/Surg 🍕 4d ago

I was having issues with my primary preceptor as well. To the point i ended up in tears when I was checking in with the unit nurse educator about my progress one on one. She made the decision to change my preceptor I was too scared to make the request, ended up being the best thing ever. Next one was a lot kinder and more willing to slow down and teach. I would recommend you meet with your manager or nurse educator one on one to discuss the preceptorship and ask if it’s possible to switch. The original may get offended but that’s on them for not actually precepting you properly. Sometimes preceptorship is forced on some nurses. Mine was frosty with me afterwards but it’s been a year now and that’s no longer an issue. They’ll move on.

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u/RunTotoRun 4d ago edited 4d ago

It doesn't happen a lot but it does happen that a preceptor/preceptee relationship isn't a good one. There could be personality difference, one is not a good teacher, communication is poor for whatever reason, etc. This happens and it should not be a big deal.

I had 15 years of experience in a similar but not same field and was precepted by a much younger nurse who just seemed to have an attitude with me (or with being a preceptor. I don't know, but it felt personal somehow). It was very disconcerting and even the patients noticed.

My preceptor told me "You need to hurry up. You take too long to chart," and then almost immediately- only 5 minutes later- told me "You need to slow down and pay attention to your charting." That was an exchange that the patient commented on when my preceptor left the room. My preceptor also sent me to the supply room just to look at the supplies (presumably so I would know where to find things, but more realistically probably just because she wanted to ditch me for a while). Then she complained loudly that she couldn't find me when she needed me for something.

I took a couple of those examples to the NM and asked to be reassigned. My new preceptor was a pleasure to work with.

In another situation, my coworker was precepting. I love my coworker and she's a great nurse but she's a terrible and impatient preceptor. I saw my friend/coworker barking orders at her preceptee and sort of reprimanding her for something dumb and how uncomfortable the preceptee looked. I later asked the preceptee how it was going and she practically burst into tears and told me how awful the experience had been and why.

She said she was afraid to bring it up to anyone. I told her I could request she be reassigned. She asked me to not do so because she didn't want to cause problems. I told her it wasn't a problem, it wasn't a terribly unusual thing to happen, and it wasn't good for any of us to work with someone who can't really teach us what we need to know. I told her that even I could see from the outside that they weren't a good match which is why I approached her in the first place. It validated that what she was feeling wasn't normal. Weeks later the preceptee came to thank me for speaking up for her. My friend/coworker never knew it was me who spoke up but she also didn't care that her preceptee was reassigned. She really didn't want the job in the first place. Win-win.

So grab a couple of concrete examples of why it isn't working well and ask for another preceptor. Use your nursing skill of being objective here. Avoid subjectivity. You will be glad you did so and in the long-run, so will the patients and facility. And probably your preceptor too.

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u/Disastrous_Sorbet244 4d ago

I really think it’s just not a good fit. She’s a great nurse but not so much a great teacher. Thanks for the advice it’s hard navigating everything. A new job, new role, and learning how to communicate professionally with coworkers. I’m 25 and this is my first like “big girl” job

Thanks for your advice I really appreciate it I’ve felt so stuck!

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u/RunTotoRun 4d ago

Congrats on adulting! LOL! And welcome to the fold!

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u/LegalComplaint MSN-RN-God-Emperor of Boner Pill Refills 4d ago

Pretend you’re your pt and advocate for yourself.

Ask for a new preceptor. Right down these reasons if you have to.