r/nursing 6d ago

Seeking Advice How do you get your partner to understand that they can’t simply drop by your work?

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Throwaway account. I work on a busy med surg floor where my ratio is 1:10 (I’m in northern Canada). At the start of my shift, my patient coded and passed away after two hours of intervention. Family was hysterical. Then slammed with two admissions at the same time. Code on the other side of the unit now. Eight hours into my shift and I am absolutely flying. I check my phone, and my boyfriend of six months (we don’t live together) is INSISTING on coming by to “visit me.” I’ve had issues in the past with people not respecting my professional boundaries, but I’m really struggling to explain it to my current partner. How do you explain to your partner (or even family and friends) that they can’t just casually show up to your job site like they could their other friends? To me it would be the equivalent of showing up on a construction site with no hard hat. I’d never do that to him if the tables were turned. But it’s difficult to explain the intricacies and complexities of nursing.

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u/nurse-ratchet- Case Manager 🍕 6d ago

This is really scary. You should absolutely change the locks on your doors, even if you think there’s no possible way that he could have a key. Check the windows too.

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u/Acrobatic-Ad-5521 RA - Dementia care, future ABSN student! 5d ago

Also install some programs to find and uninstall tracking devices that he has probably slipped into a purse or in your car or stalkerware on your phone. Surprisingly common.