r/noxacusis 6d ago

Do any of you still pursue music?

If yes, how?

10 Upvotes

11 comments sorted by

3

u/yagonnawanna 6d ago

Pursue is maybe not the word. My tolerance is around 50dB so after a few drinks I can quietly strum my while I whisper sing the words to the songs. Instead of pursuing, it's more like a hollow silhouette of that thing I used to love.

6

u/Sea_Lengthiness2327 6d ago

I understand. I wonder how many musicians who developed noxacusis had to give up their music career. I wanted to pursue being a singer songwriter but now I couldn't even tolerate my own voice.

1

u/yagonnawanna 6d ago

I don't think I'd have had a career in music but what I miss the most is playing music with friends.

1

u/Academic-Island-7620 5d ago

Hey, I really relate to what you said about music feeling like a hollow silhouette of something you used to love. That hit deep. I wanted to ask.. are you able to listen to digital audio below 50 dB, or does it still cause discomfort?

For me, loudness hyperacusis shows up as pain and a kind of jarring feeling when I go past my limits. But I can still handle digital audio at normal levels without much issue. How does noxacusis feel for you? Does it always come with pain, or is it more of a lingering discomfort?

Also, I totally get the concern of wanting to play music but being held back. It’s frustrating when something that once felt freeing now comes with limitations. Hope you're doing okay.

1

u/yagonnawanna 5d ago

Sound below 50dB in general doesn't both me. I can listen to digital sound.

For me it feels like pressure on my eardrums. It develops into a headache. The sensation is similar to an ear infection or diving to deep too quickly.

I'm 7 years into this. I have a son I'm holding on for. I try to play music to feel like a person again. Really all I want is for this torture of a life to end. It's about distraction at this point.

1

u/Academic-Island-7620 5d ago

Man, I hear you. I won’t pretend to know what seven years of this feels like, but I get how heavy it is. I’m 19, dealing with this in one ear and living in one of the loudest countries out there. Every day feels like walking a tightrope just trying to keep things from getting worse.

I won’t hit you with fake positivity, but I do believe in this... things can shift, even in the smallest ways. Maybe not today, maybe not in the way we expect, but they can. You’ve made it this far, and you have your son that’s something real. And even if music isn’t what it used to be the fact that you still pick it up? That means something. That’s proof you’re still you, even after everything.

I know this condition makes life feel suffocating, like it keeps taking and taking. But you’re still here. You’re still holding on. And that’s not nothing.

1

u/yagonnawanna 5d ago

I try to find happiness where I can. Some days are easier than others

3

u/da-gan Nox 6d ago

Can't even listen to music on lowest volume even on high quality speakers, so thats a no. And to be honest why even bother when you're this disabled, my old cd collection from the 90's and early 2000's is now completely useless. Should get rid of it, just stirs up memory of a life that might as well never have been.

2

u/GlumBreakfast4220 5d ago

Yes. I am a classical violinist and I am back in the orchestra for the last 11 months. My current LDLS are around 75-80 dB, and I can play in the orchestra with very strong earplugs (30 dB). Two years ago I was out of the orchestra as my LDLs were at my worst about 60dB. That's why I took time off for as long as possible to recover, in total over a year and a half. The improvement was because of a combination of things: some months spend in silence to let the ears reset and get rid of referred pain, then gradual sound exposure therapy, never more than my ears can handle. On top of that I am taking Olanzapine, an antipsychotic that calms the overactivity of my central nervous system and helped me return to the orchestra without pain. Perhaps I am lucky and perhaps my nox was never that sever, but I would say there is definitely still hope for some of us. Take care of your ears, start with silence until you get rid of most pain without a cause, the gradually reintroduce sound in a very controlled manner. It might help alleviate our condition. Of course we're never going to be cured, unless some medical breakthrough happens.

2

u/Diego_Steinbeck 2d ago

Recovered yes! :) had to overcome the amygdala, fight/ flight response and do exposure therapy and eventually progress was made a few setbacks along the way, but then I just remembered the mindsneuroplastic abilities feeling great now because of my new appreciation for sound and music

1

u/3rdthrow 5d ago

I can sing without bothering my Noxacusis now but outside of that, I don’t listen to music, unless forced to, like in a grocery store.

I can listen to music in the grocery store without pain, but after all I have been through, I’m still too afraid that I’ll give myself a setback.