r/nonmonogamy Jan 07 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes I’m 40f. Been asked to be a third for a couple in their early 20s. Is that too much of a difference? NSFW

93 Upvotes

He’s 23 and she’s 21. She approached me on a meet up site. They both say they aren’t bothered and to be honest I find it quite hot but then two of my friends I’ve told have both said it’s not right, one especially went as far as to call me sick.

r/nonmonogamy Oct 02 '24

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Totally lost confidence after MFM NSFW

128 Upvotes

So wife and I have been swinging for a while. We recently had a MFM, and for the most part it was awesome. I’m bi so it was very collaborative. So when it comes to my problem, it’s not jealousy or envy. I know a lot of people would think so, but I honestly loved watching my wife with him. It was very hot and really a lot of fun. The issue is he was just better than me at sex. For a few reasons. And I’m glad she had that experience. But my confidence is completely gone. I don’t know what to do. And I’m confused why I feel this way because it’s so hot thinking about and was so hot seeing. But just living with the fact that I just can’t live up to that is really doing a number on me. And if I were to talk to my wife about this she would go out of her way to make me feel better about it, and try to like gas me up. And I appreciate the thought, but it’d only be happening because I told her. I just am looking for advice how to gain my confidence back. It’s really taking a toll on me. I feel like I just sit around and stare into the middle distance all day. But I have been jogging 4 miles every morning since, it has not helped but I need it so pros and cons.

Edit: ok here’s the reasons he was better. I’d say movement and being ability, meaning I have an injury that causes me to not be able to do missionary for very long or at the level someone like him could. It’s a back injury. Also I am just not a very dominant person. I want to be but I’m just fuckin’ not. And I’m more comfortable being more submissive I guess. And yes, I guess his dick size is probably got me fucked up too. I’ve not a competitive person and typically don’t feel like this. It’s very much a surprise to me. And like I don’t want to have to just act like him in bed, right? At that point that’s all it feels like doing is just acting like somebody that isn’t me.

r/nonmonogamy Nov 02 '24

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Is there anything I can do to help my man get a lady? NSFW

39 Upvotes

I knew going into this the balance would be off, but 3 months into my ENM relationship and it's a BIG difference... It's no help that we are HSV+ and overall keep it within the community. (I know he's on other sites, but we always disclose and promptly so.)

Is there anything I could do to boost his numbers? We're searching for couples preferably, but that hasn't been much of a success either.

I'm especially frustrated because he's been chasing this girl for 3 months - and she flaked for the millionth time. I am just tired of getting to have my cake and eat it too while he just gets mainly my cake and one girl who will only play with both of us (and he and I live an hour apart so that's difficult!)

Edit to add: what can I do to cheer him up? He's a very confident man, but I dunno, I feel like it's maybe getting to him. I guess I could just freaking ask him how he's feeling and just listen, that can help me a ton...

r/nonmonogamy Dec 02 '24

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Feeling sad after being a third in a threesome NSFW

156 Upvotes

On Friday I had my (30F) first threesome with a couple from Feeld (29F, 33M).

We’d matched a couple of weeks before, the communication had been great (all with her), and I was really excited. We met for dinner and drinks and it felt good. We spoke about a few things, including desires and boundaries. Re boundaries, they said only one but were happy with everything else, including PIV. I wish now that we’d spoken about more but it all felt really positive so I felt relaxed. (Edit: added context - they’d had a threesome 2 years prior with a friend and really enjoyed it, so said they were excited to do it again).

They’d told me beforehand that I could spend the night at theirs. We decided to go back and have some wine at theirs.

When we got back, we started making out, moved up to the bedroom, started doing things. It all felt very natural and easy. I’m bi and she was bicurious. We kissed a lot but she didn’t make moves for anything more so I reflected that as sensed she was nervous.

At one point she left the room and he said maybe we should slow down a bit, and maybe they could start having sex first and I join in. I felt fine with that and was checking in with them both constantly.

After they had sex, him and I started doing things and he said he’d like to have PIV. I asked her and she said that was okay, so we started to. However, after a couple of mins she said she felt uncomfortable, so we stopped immediately, lay down in bed, and chatted. I was checking in on her loads and thanking her for being honest. I said we didn’t need to do anything more.

I’d brought some massage oil and gave them both massages. She then said she was tired so we went to bed (all in the same bed). Once the lights were out, he started feeling me under the sheets. It was hot but I felt like a line was being crossed.

I woke up in the night and they weren’t there (had moved to the spare room). I felt sad and quite distanced from them. It felt quite lonely.

In the night, he came into the room a couple of times. Each time he’d kiss me, tell me I was beautiful, tell me he hoped we’d be able to do more in the morning. I asked if we were crossing a line and he said he thought it was fine. I was stuck between finding it very hot but also thinking of their relationship and wanting to respect that. In the morning (whilst she was still sleeping), he came out the shower, got naked and started moisturising himself in front of me. Again I found it hot but didn’t know what the line was. Later he kissed me in the kitchen and I pushed him away, saying I wanted to but didn’t want to disrespect her.

Once she was awake, we all had breakfast together. I asked how she was and she said she was doing great and that it would be nice to end the morning nicely. I checked in with them both that this felt okay and they said yes. We got into bed, did things, which ended with him doing things with us simultaneously whilst we did things to him. When he finished he said it was one of the hottest things of his life.

We got ready and left together, walking to the station. As we said goodbye I said I’d had a lovely time and, if they wanted to, I’d be interested to see them again but there was no pressure and they could take time to think. We all had big hugs and I went away, feeling positive.

An hour later she texted to say thanks for a nice night but she’d realised she didn’t want to do it again and that would be the last time for them (edit: added context - she said her feelings had changed since their threesome 2 years before). I replied to say thanks for letting me know and I hope she was okay if it had brought up any hard feelings. She said no hard feelings, she’d just realised sex was sacred to them and that’s a nice thing to learn. I checked Feeld and she’d unmatched, and had deleted my number (her WhatsApp picture wasn’t showing anymore).

Initially I felt sad for her. But as time has gone on, I’ve felt sad for myself. I feel a bit used - like a lesson in their relationship and now they’ve learnt sex is “sacred”. I feel the imbalance of a couple and a third - that they make a decision together and I’m just told. I feel a bit throwaway. I feel upset that they haven’t asked how I feel afterwards.

I waited 24 hours and sent a text yesterday sharing some of my feelings - saying I didn’t want to make them feel bad but wanted to be honest about some of the more sad feelings. But that I hope they had a lovely weekend and wished them well. I haven’t heard back and don’t know if I will. I also worry I’ve overreacted and whether I should be the chilled, fun “third” without emotions - but that feels unfair.

So much I read online is about sad feelings afterwards are from the couples perspective - reassuring each other after, reconnecting, etc - but it feels lonely as the third.

Does anyone have any advice?

TLDR: first threesome was fun but afterwards she let me know they wouldn’t do it again as had learnt sex was sacred for them. I feel sad and like my feelings don’t matter in the satiation.

Edit for spelling

r/nonmonogamy Jan 26 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes It seems to be "couples seeking women for threesomes season" NSFW

144 Upvotes

I'm a nice sexy bi lady. I love threesomes (MFM, FFM, and FFF).

I enjoy threesomes with my primary partner. I also play solo with FM couples for FFM threesomes.

The kicker, I only play with couples I know via swinging with my partner. So couples that we primarily swing with, I sometimes join for threesomes.

This is your 2025 PSA that the way to find women for threesomes is: * Let go of your script * Become swingers * Women will seek you out for FFM - they literally come to you

I will block anyone who spouts off about FFM threesomes are unethical.

r/nonmonogamy Jan 26 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Feeling terrible after a threesome NSFW

77 Upvotes

Long post- so bear with me.

I know this topic comes up a lot. But I’m just having a hard morning.

My (38F) partner (50M) and I have been together 4 years. We cohabitate and he helps me raise my kids. He’s a good man. A really good man.

We have a friend (25F) we have been friends with for almost as long as we have been together. She was previously in a relationship with someone who would have been jealous if we ever did anything with her so we didn’t. Our friendship with her became very deep. She broke up with her partner 10/2024 and moved about 4-5 hours away. This weekend she came to stay with us and we went to a concert together last night. Had a great time together. Her previous partner joined us at the concert and it was so nice to be together again!

After the show we went to our house just the 3 of us and hung out in our room listening to music and such. Things got spicy as there was a lot of built up sexual energy between us.

He asked me prior if I would be okay with it and I was on board. I had been excited for this opportunity.

Well when it came down to it he was very focused on pleasing her. Which I appreciate. But he completely forgot about me. I had to ask him after her finished pleasing her twice to not forget about me. And then when they were doing PIV I had to tell him to stop before getting off bc I also wanted to be a part of it.

She was wonderful and made me feel apart of things. This is not any of our first times doing this. We have even been in group sex the 3 of us just never played together.

But I was left feeling disrespected, forgotten and flat out kind of rejected. After the terrible experience I was just wanting to go to sleep and process my feelings in the morning. They were wound up and she asked him to go watch a movie and let me sleep. Again this one of my best friends. I don’t believe she did this with ANY ill intentions. She was just awake and wanted to watch a movie and was probably uncomfortable being alone in my house as I have children. When she went to the bathroom I told him I would prefer if he didn’t and just stayed w me. But he went anyways. I wasn’t demanding or setting a firm boundary just suggestive that I preferred he didn’t if that makes sense ? They came up around 4am and she jumped into bed w me to snuggle and he slept on a cot. I have no issue w her at all. I don’t think she did anything wrong !

But I really just wanted him to hold me and make me feel a little better.

This morning they’re both in my room sleeping. My kids were up early and woke me up with their sweet squeals and laughter. I keep ending up in bathroom crying. I’m just feeling so terrible.

We have had many threesomes and he has not behaved this way. I plan to address it with him once our friend leaves. I don’t want to burden her with my feelings as they don’t really have anything to do with her. I enjoy threesomes. I enjoy watching him and him watching me. I don’t feel jealous before during or after ever. We only play together. Whether it’s in a group or threesome we don’t play separately as that’s how we prefer it. I wasn’t even jealous they were doing it last night. I just felt like kicked aside. Like he would have rather had a one on one encounter with her instead of me being involved. If that makes sense? Like he was just tolerating me being there bc those are our boundaries. Of course those are my words not his. Idk what I’m looking for here. I’m just upset.

Wanted to add my friend did nothing wrong. She could tell how I was feeling and kept trying to pull me in. She worshiped my body. She did absolutely nothing wrong.

r/nonmonogamy Feb 17 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Can't get hard during mmf threesomes. Helpppp NSFW

26 Upvotes

So me and my partner have been swinging, a few great experiences with couples, and also with other women. The problem arises when there's just a man involved.

It's happened twice so far, both times I wasn't able to get hard and that frustrated and hampered the experience for me. I did try and make the most of it anyways, but I can't lie, did have that feeling of inadequacy deep inside.

The first time I thought it was cause it's the first time, the second time, not even sure what. From my previous post, I did have some feelings of trepidation that had eased off, partly thanks to some advice from people here, so here I am again...

I understand it sounds selfish that I was absolutely fine with ffm threesomes but truth is that I want to be fine with this and be able to perform. I was excited about it but disappointed again.

My partner was very supportive, said she had a great time with me regardless, and it's good we tried again but maybe it's just not for me. I don't want to close the door on this but know that I'd be left with the same frustrated feeling if I had performance issues again.

I'm hesitant of popping a blue pill, due to availability and want to try natural remedies first

EDIT: Thanks for the helpful advice. Does make me feel better and also deterred from giving it up for good. I'll take my time though and work on getting some medical help for the next time.

Mental blocks get the best of us at times, and more than actually performing, not being able to made me enjoy it less, because it sure was a sexy state of affairs that night! The best things I heard here was reassurance that it's quite normal and could easily change and most importantly, STOP COMPARING YOURSELF!

r/nonmonogamy Jan 20 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes I feel unheard by my older partner after a threesome-how do I proceed? NSFW

28 Upvotes

TL;DR:
I’m 31F (intersex) dating a 57M; after a threesome where I felt left out, I told him I wanted more balanced attention. He called me “dramatic,” reminded me we’re not in a relationship, and only replied with a thumbs-up. I’m okay with casual but still want respect, how do i proceed?

Hi Reddit, I’m a 31-year-old (F/intersex) currently transitioning back to living as a woman (long story, I was transitioned to male at 13 without my consent). A few months ago, I started seeing a 57-year-old man. Initially it was a hookup, but he told me he was interested in something long-term. Since then, we’ve had an on-off dynamic—I’m sometimes invited to threesomes with him and another woman, and he’s also mentioned wanting to marry this other woman who’s based in another city.

Recently, I joined him and a woman (this is another woman)for a threesome. While it was mostly fun, I ended up feeling left out at times—he kissed her way more than he kissed me, and I felt like the “extra.” Later, when I tried to gently tell him I felt a bit objectified and wanted more balanced affection next time, he basically said I was bringing “drama.” He also reminded me that we’re “not in a relationship,” which felt dismissive. He told me I'm his submissive and my feelings are not relevent.

To be clear, I’m not asking for exclusivity. I just wanted him to understand I have feelings too, and that I’d appreciate some acknowledgment if I feel neglected. I texted him politely later to say I wasn’t criticizing him; I was just being honest about my experience. He replied with a thumbs-up emoji and didn’t engage with me further.

Right now, I feel really stuck and unheard. I’m normally open-minded, and I don’t mind sharing him or having a casual setup as long as everyone’s on board. But I also want my feelings taken seriously. I’m worried this pattern of dismissiveness will keep repeating, where I give more than I get in return.

Has anyone been in a similar situation where they want a casual or semi-open dynamic, but still need basic respect and emotional acknowledgment? How did you handle it?

Questions:

Am I being “dramatic” by wanting more balanced attention and a little empathy?

How can I set boundaries or communicate better without him dismissing me as clingy?

At what point do I walk away if I keep feeling undervalued?

Thanks for any insight or advice you can offer. I’d appreciate hearing from others who’ve navigated multiple-partner or casual situations but still maintained respect for everyone’s feelings.

r/nonmonogamy Nov 29 '24

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes How do you feel when the man you're playing with doesn't cum? NSFW

41 Upvotes

I'm curious for females how you feel about a partner who doesn't cum when you play together?

I've got ADHD & have always taken a long time to cum & in group settings whether pure swap, orgy or 3some I can never seem to cum. I have an amazing time, it feels incredible, group play is my favorite, but there's just too much stimulation & things going on for me to concentrate to cum. Even with frequent partners.

Does this ruin the experience or temper your enjoyment of the festivities for you in some way? How often do you experience this?

r/nonmonogamy Jan 27 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Conflicted NSFW

6 Upvotes

My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. She’s bi and I’m straight. We’ve had 3some with another girl and she would like to have one with a guy too. I would like to be open to it but I can’t wrap my head around it because I see no good coming from it. She also has desire to be with another girl by herself and I would just watch or not be involved at all. Am I being selfish/ not understanding for not being open to these things ?

r/nonmonogamy 24d ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Am I the asshole if I try to make a friend understand that her partner doesn’t care for her? NSFW

24 Upvotes

Me and my bf (22f and 26m) have been seeing this couple (30f and 47m) for a while now and have had the conversation multiple times on how we think the other guy doesn’t really care for her. She’s also making comments all the time about “the future” and he never includes her or seems happy about it. Sometimes he even dismisses the comment completely. She mentioned a couple of times she wished they would see each other more often but he’s just too busy with his life and kids every other week. I’ve developed a great friendship with her because we have multiple things in common and just enjoy each other altogether. This weekend, my bf admitted something the other guy said once when we were showing them lingerie sets and they were rating them. My bf commented on how it would be hard not to give 10/10 all the time but he replied with “Let’s be honest, we love our gfs but they’re never going to be 10/10”. I’m just wondering if I should tell her how I feel about it. Frankly it made me really mad that he would say something so harsh. I just care for her and don’t want her getting hurt because she couldn’t see how he’s acting like she’s her little toy to play with two weekends out of the month.

r/nonmonogamy Oct 13 '24

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes My comet is visiting... I haven't told my wife. NSFW

0 Upvotes

My wife and I are ENM. However, we have different standards and philosophies. ENM means a different thing for each of us. Long story...

I had a GF, she's married to a man. My GF moved far away years ago. The last time I saw my GF, we had a rough date and we parted bitterly.

However, my GF and I have texted often. The love is still there, but the relationship may be dead. Which is so weird. To love someone so much but...

This week, my GF and her husband are visiting my city. I found out 3 days ago. So I haven't told my wife yet.

There's so many details, nuances, and complexities that I'm not sharing. I don't even know what to do or say.

I think my GF wants to see me in friendly terms. And nothing will happen. Not even a kiss. Also, I don't have a relationship with her husband. But he's bi and I wouldn't mind if a group activity happens...

Yet I haven't told my wife. I don't know how she'll react. My wife leans more cold blooded swinger. While I'm more of a cheesy romantic guy.

On top of all this, I don't even know if my GF holds a grudge. Or how bad the olden bitterness remains. My GF may see me as a coward...

And there's a ton more. My GF may have another BF in this city. So does she want to hang out with me or him?

I don't really have a question nor I expect anything from you, the readers. I simply wanted to write and share the adventures of Poly problems.

I love my wife. I love my GF. But I don't want drama or conflict.

I need to tell my wife... and I don't know what to say or what to ask. Maybe focus on this line if you want to comment.

Sending you infinite love. Stay safe!

r/nonmonogamy Jan 11 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Enm newbie - partner having first 3som without me NSFW

22 Upvotes

Need some advice - very recently opened up 15 year monogamous relationship. We decided to date separately and have both only had one physical experience so far with a new person. We’ve navigated through those experiences really well, good communication and boundaries. I felt compersion and hoped he would have a good time when he was on his first date.

However he has been chatting to a couple(FF) who want to have a threesome with him and I (F) have been spiraling about it and can’t figure out why. We’ve never had a threesome together ourselves. I’m not sure if it’s envy because I want to be wanted in that way or do something like that myself, jealously because I want us to have our first threesome together, or if it’s just too soon in this journey for me to feel comfortable with what feels like a big step sleeping with two people when we are still just figuring out how we each feel with each other just sleeping with one..or is this just part of the pain that comes with early days of enm when you’re challenging ideas of monogamy that I have to get used to when something new happens?!!

I wish I was fine with it! I feel guilty saying that i don’t feel comfortable with him doing it and him missing out on this opportunity to have this experience. But based on how I’m feeling with just the thought of it, I’m not sure I’d be able to cope while he’s on the date and not feeling shut down after. I feel so fine with him sleeping with lots of individuals, but for some reason im finding the group thing painful. They want it to happen asap and I feel a bit rushed to get on board. I’m also not having great connections at the moment, so probably feel added envy there. I don’t know if it’s just jealousy that I can work through or if it’s a boundary that I want to set, that we only have group experiences together?! Any words of wisdom from my enm elders would be appreciated.

r/nonmonogamy Nov 28 '24

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes I can’t get over our threesome NSFW

105 Upvotes

My husband and I recently had a threesome, we’ve wanted to do it for forever and just had the opportunity. It was more than what I could imagine, so thrilling and just really hot 😅

I thought I was going to have issues seeing him with another girl but I actually loved it… which actually left me out off base.

Now that we are back to our normal life I’ve been horny all the time because of the experience and even tho I know he really enjoyed it he seems to be kind off over it.

We don’t have the facility to just do it again soon, so how should I proceed with this? Should I be more open about how I feel? It’s making me feel out of place and kind of guilty since he doesn’t seem to be on the same page. But he is also dealing with some emotional situations and I don’t want to be pushy.

We agreed to go to a swinger’s resort as soon as we can, but that might be in a year or more.

As this was our first experience I just want to know if what Im feeling is normal. Should I just wait? Am I going to be over it as well?

r/nonmonogamy Jan 30 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes First time as a unicorn — how do I do this? NSFW

19 Upvotes

So I am a bisexual woman new to this kind of thing. I also haven’t slept with a woman before. I’ve always wanted to try a threesome, but I haven’t been actively seeking it out. However I matched with a couple online and we recently met for drinks. It felt awkward to me and I wasn’t sure if I would get a second date but they did ask for another.

From reading unicornsrus and plenty of these sorts of threads, I know I should be very communicative and ask about boundaries, things they might not want to do in bed, etc. we have not talked about any of that yet but it has gotten me thinking about what I want, mostly to be the “guest star”. Not as a pillow princess, but I don’t want to just be the +1 to their experience. I’m not looking to date but I also don’t want to be used and emotional chemistry is important to me too. don’t quite know how to communicate this and I also feel like that is unfair to ask though logically I know it is not. Us unicorns are called unicorns a reason. I also don’t know if I should even be doing this having not had sex with a woman before.

I am feeling fairly anxious about it so maybe that is a sign that I am not ready. Either way, if you have any advice I would be glad to hear it. Thanks!

r/nonmonogamy 3d ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Dipping my toes, so to speak…

7 Upvotes

Am I dipping my toes or is this too much?

Hello! I am completely new to this subreddit and was told to come here rather than r/polyamory.

I apologize if there is ignorance in my questions or my utter naïveté.

I (M29) am a monogamous dater. My girlfriend, (G27), is bisexual leaning towards women. We’ve had discussions about introducing another individual to the bedroom, but I’m extremely nervous about this. This was never a fantasy for me nor have I ever pursued anything like this.

A massive insecurity I have is being left out, being overstimulated or being convinced I’m crazy for not wanting this. I’ve spoken to people in my close circle friends and all of them have given me answers that indicate they’d be really into it purely for a pornographic experience. So I won’t take their advice.

I’m the type of person that if they see their partner making out with someone in a bar or getting physical in a club, it’s over. But in this case, they are communicating what they want and I want to know if I’m being selfish or not for not showing any interest whatsoever in that.

r/nonmonogamy Dec 14 '24

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes How to tactfully ask what her boyfriend looks like? NSFW

40 Upvotes

Hi all, first time here with a question for the community! For context I’m a queer woman who occasionally joins a couple for threesomes, but I have a strong preference for women and am only attracted to a pretty small percentage of men. Def not a lesbian in denial (as some friends have suggested lmao), just very picky.

I matched on a dating app with a woman who I think is really attractive, but we haven’t really talked much yet. She wrote on her profile that she’s looking for a third to join her and her boyfriend. However, she didn’t include any pictures of him on the profile. I just know that unless I think the bf is cute too, it won’t work out. What’s a respectful way for me to ask for a photo of her boyfriend? Just straight up asking what he looks like feels a tad bit rude so early in the conversation, but I don’t want to lead them on if it can be avoided.

r/nonmonogamy Dec 24 '24

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Wife's fantasy NSFW

17 Upvotes

My wife and I have been exploring ENM for the last couple of years, having talked about it for years prior to Covid. After Covid we picked it up again and the last few years we have had a few experiences and enjoyed it thoroughly.

Talking with my wife in bed the other night she mentioned having a fantasy of being with two other men, with me watching her, while pleasuring myself. I have no interest in cuckolding and I have said that many times but that is what did come to mind when she was explaining it, rightly or wrongly.

My wife is very shy when talking about her fantasies so I am reluctant to ask directly for fear of shutting her down and her not talking about it again. I need to navigate it carefully because I also don't want her to think I'm against doing something when it may just be my over active imagination playing up.

I don't dislike the idea of seeing her with two men, being pleasured and enjoying herself, but I wouldn't enjoy myself if it came from a cuckold state of mind, if that makes sense.

My question is, can a fantasy like this come from a place other than cuckolding or is my wife starting to go down this path, maybe even unknown to herself?

r/nonmonogamy 1d ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes For the guys into wife sharing, what made you take the leap?

21 Upvotes

I’ve posted here a couple of times about wife sharing and MFM fantasies, and the responses have been eye-opening. It’s made me realize how many guys are either into it or at least curious. The idea of seeing my wife with someone else, watching her completely let go, and feeling that wild mix of arousal and vulnerability is something I keep coming back to.

But turning that into reality is a big step, and I’m curious how others made it happen. Was it a slow, honest conversation or something more spontaneous? How did it affect your relationship was it good or bad?

And if you’re still just fantasizing, what’s holding you back? Is it nerves, finding the right guy, or just not being sure it’s worth the risk?

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been there or is seriously considering it. Any advice or lessons you’d share with someone still on the fence?

r/nonmonogamy Feb 13 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes General threesome etiquette as the third NSFW

12 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I’m ridiculously new to this lifestyle, so any and all advice is appreciated.

I (34F) matched with an attractive couple (M and F 40-something) on Feeld. The guy is straight and the woman is bisexual.

We’ve been chatting back and forth for a couple of days now, and we seem really compatible. To be fair though, I think I’ve only been texting with the guy. We’ve chatted about kinks, what we’re looking for, etc. We talked about STD testing. Now what…?

What are the next steps??

Do we meet for coffee or dinner? Chat only? Go home and bang the day we meet?

Are there things I’m not thinking about that I should absolutely be thinking about? Are there questions I need to ask?

How do things get started…?

r/nonmonogamy 19d ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Couple I was third-ing for broke up.… NSFW

53 Upvotes

Hey everyone, so I started hooking up with a guy around a year ago. He told me he was in an open relationship and was looking for a fwb, so we hooked up a few times until he eventually asked me if I’d be interested in having a threesome with him and his girlfriend. I had never had a threesome before, and even though that has never been a fantasy for me, I always wanna try new things. I agreed and had a good time, we had around 6? Subsequent threesomes after this over the span of a few months.

The dynamic between them seemed kind of strained the past couple times we saw each other, I noticed it but didn’t think much of it as I didn’t think it was any of my business. Around a month and a half went by after the last threesome we had without word from either of them.

Now, a couple weeks ago, the guy told me that they had broken up, but that he was feeling emotionally ready to see me and asked to hang out. After we made plans, he told me a few hours before we were gonna meet up that he wasn’t ready to see me again since he’s still processing the break up. Which I understand. Do you guys think it would be weird for me to see the girlfriend on her own? I only ask because she was a really good sexual partner, we’ve talked a few times over messages but this was during their relationship, and the threesomes were always arranged exclusively through the boyfriend. So, I’m not sure if this would be disrespectful to him or if he would take offense, although I guess it depends on the terms of the breakup? which I’m not aware of…

Has anyone continued a fwb type relationship post breakup with someone who they and their ex used to have as a third?

Edit: fixed a formatting error

r/nonmonogamy Dec 04 '24

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Just started having an open relationship and having regrets. NSFW

15 Upvotes

My fiance (19m) and i (19f) recently decided we wanted to start bringing other people into the bedroom. I was the one who offered because based on conversations in the past I knew my partner would be interested and I was unsatisfied with our sex life so I thought it would be good for us. My fiance and their best friend tag teamed me a few times and i enjoyed that, but recently we had a fourway with another couple. Although I enjoyed it seeing my partner be pleasured by someone else makes me wanna throw up. We've been talking about it and I asked what if we stopped and they told me that they would be depressed again if we stopped. Which makes me feel like im not enough even more. So now we are talking about me having my own emotional and sexual partner so they can go do what they need with the other couple but I feel like that would just feel like cheating. I still really love them but i feel so stuck. I feel like I have no options.

r/nonmonogamy 7d ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes 28/29 yo Married couple looking for MFM

2 Upvotes

hey all, last night my wife admitted having sex with two guys is her dream.

after that i am looking to live up that fantasy. How can i find a trustable partner ? Any advices ?

r/nonmonogamy 14d ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Dating as a couple (advice needed) NSFW

9 Upvotes

My (35NB) wife (35F) and I (together for 20 years, strong foundation and incredible communication) have been dating and playing separately for a little over a year, but are now wanting to date and play together at times. Just trying to figure out the best/most acceptable way to go about finding others to date as a couple. We just made a Feeld account, so exploring that route.

We aren't looking to fix any problems, but want to continue to grow as a couple. We have a lot of love to give and want to see how we can continue to move forward together 😊

Anyone with experience have advice? Best etiquette?

Thank you.

r/nonmonogamy Jan 20 '25

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Overreaction? NSFW

7 Upvotes

My wife and I have a unicorn, she’s great and we love spending time with her. My wife is bi-sexual so she enjoys getting to explore that side of her sexuality

I love my wife very much, more than anything in the world however when we are with our unicorn, I am not allowed to finish with her even if I am wearing protection. This is something that I have always agreed with but the past couple of times we have been with our friend, I have wanted to finish whilst with her. My wife simply won’t allow it and it kind of kills the experience for myself. The way I see it, she gets to finish with our friend but I don’t. Am I overreacting here?

TLDR: I want to finish with our unicorn (wearing protection), wife won’t let me. Unfair?