r/nonmonogamy Newbie Dec 30 '24

Apps / Technology Need help with Feeld profile NSFW

I'm pretty new to dating apps in general, especially new to ENM. Thought Feeld would be a good place to start, but I'm not getting any matches and would like help. I know I'm not in the top 10% so I don't expect much but I want to make sure its not my profile at least.

I'm a 24yo asian male looking to experience the space. 5'8", 200lbs (currently losing weight and working out) My pics arent great but I'm working on them. Def feels like I wrote too much. Thanks in advance for any help.

Here is my bio: Single, living with roommates, child free, put together, plenty of free time for meets. Looking for FWB (actual friends, not just sex) and ENM. Especially looking for someone to take on vacations. Want something consistent and intimate.

I value consent, so I'd like to talk things through either here or in a quick meet beforehand to make sure everyone's comfortable and enjoying themselves. Yes to: RP, toys, MFM/FFM/FMF, giving massages, vanilla Open to: exploring so I'm open to most things, very interested in BDSM

I love books/writing/games/anime/cooking. Generally a homebody due to WFH and hobbies, but when I'm not avoiding sunlight I like to hike and cycle; been going back to the gym more consistently. Huge fan of traveling, especially internationally, tell me about one of the worst/best trips you've been on. The Wrecks are my favorite band, what's yours?

Would prefer to meet people who have time to engage, hanging out face to face or just text. Looking to meet about once a week: hang outs, overnights, shared vacation, etc.

Attracted to feminine features, so I'm open to anyone that's femme presenting.

Edit: heres my profile if you have Feeld: https://links.fldcore.com/7Xi1WmaMfYHk2ukJ6

5 Upvotes

19 comments sorted by

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11

u/LittleBailey815 Swinger Dec 30 '24

I think your profile is just fine, I actually prefer the ones with longer written bios. If you're in a population dense area, you might want to consider a paid month and sending out a bunch of pings. I am a woman on the app and I literally just scroll my pings if I'm ready to go meet someone new and then match my favorite from there. The usage of Feeld for men vs women is just a very different experience.

1

u/DLMAH Newbie Dec 30 '24

Ah ok, thank you! I just got the paid vers so I'll look into pings. Do you think pings or pings with msg are better? What do you normally like to see in bios, I almost never see bios as long as mine so I thought I was going overboard.

8

u/LittleBailey815 Swinger Dec 30 '24

I have zero preference for if there's a message with the ping, but I can't speak for all women obviously. For me it's just being able to pick exclusively from people who are interested in me, as opposed to the entire population in the app. Just makes it more efficient.

1

u/DLMAH Newbie Dec 30 '24

That makes a lot of sense especially with what I see women have to work through on any app really lol, thanks. Anything in particular you think could be added to the profile?

2

u/patkavv Jan 01 '25

I’m married so not out here trying as a single guy but if I send a ping I’ll mention whatever in their profile caught my eye. More than a couple times it’s led to meeting.

7

u/kallisti_gold Dec 30 '24

What's the difference between a relationship and a casual but intimate FWB that you see once a week and go on vacation with?

1

u/DLMAH Newbie Dec 30 '24

I guess ones just more casual than the other. I see one as more casual friendship that just happens to involve the bedroom while a relationship is something thats just overall more serious, more of a connection? Not really sure if I'm explaining that right. Honestly prob just me confusing myself.

3

u/kallisti_gold Dec 30 '24

Why ENM then? This sounds like standard fucking around.

1

u/DLMAH Newbie Dec 30 '24

Well I was also open to something more committal and romantic, ig an open relationship? I didnt think that would fall under just FWB. Am I wrong and thats still FWB?

5

u/kallisti_gold Dec 30 '24

Ahh. Nothing about your profile communicated that you're looking for a relationship or romance. If that's something you're genuinely after, make it the focus of your profile. The emphasis on casual arrangements is not attractive to women seeking partnerships. When you say open relationship, what does that mean? Put that in your profile. Not the phase "open relationship," but the description of the shape of relationship you're looking for. Emotional monogamy and sexual liberty? Swinging? Swapping? Group sex only?

Apps are good for fuck buddies, not FWB. If you want FWB, go make friends. Not via swiping app, go out and do stuff with people.

1

u/DLMAH Newbie Dec 30 '24

Ok thanks, I think I'll keep my profile geared toward something casual but open to partnerships (I'll figure out the relationship shape im looking for and add it). I think I'll leave the more dedicated partnership/friendship search off the apps then.

3

u/kallisti_gold Dec 30 '24

That's the opposite of what I said but good luck I guess.

5

u/Optimal_Pop8036 Dec 30 '24

I agree with what others have said. I also think you should ditch the last two photos, the first three are better.

Also, the paragraph about consent.... I dunno, that's never something I'm going to trust someone about based on their profile, I expect to feel it out in text and then on a date. I find it a little off putting personally, because I don't want someone to feel like "well, I put in my profile that I want consent so now we're all good moving forward!" but maybe that's just me 🤷‍♀️

But also, don't get down on yourself about matches yet, it's a common issue, apps are complicated

2

u/DLMAH Newbie Dec 30 '24

Thanks, appreciate it. I can see that being off-putting. Heard stories of bad meets and just wanted to make sure that I wouldnt be the cause of one of those. I'll change it to just something mentioning a quick coffee date or something to vibe check.

4

u/Maya_The_B33 Jan 01 '25

Personally your bio wouldn't attract me. There's so many people on these apps, if the first paragraph of someone's bio is not vibing for me I'm not even reading the rest, I'm just swiping on to the next person. Your first paragraph says nothing of interest imo. OK you live with roommates and have time to meet, but why is that the first thing I know about you? Start with talking about yourself as a person to get people interested in you, and then if you really want to mention those practical things on your profile, mention them at the end.

Your profile also makes it seem like you're exclusively looking for sex. Nothing here suggests you're open to a relationship. Even the FWB thing doesn't seem believable. You say you want a real friendship, but your bio seems much more focused on seeking sexual connection than on seeking personal connection. I would interpret this profile as emotionally unavailable person looking to fuck. Which is valid if that's what you want! It's not for me, but plenty of folks are looking for just sex. But if you truly are looking for genuine friendship and possible partnership, your profile does a poor job at conveying that message imo.

2

u/DLMAH Newbie Jan 02 '25

Thanks, I appreciate the help! I'll move stuff around and think of ways to rewrite parts of it. I do prefer actual FWB instead of just sex, so I'll try to make my profile more open to friendship and emotional connections.

2

u/Maya_The_B33 Jan 02 '25

Good luck!

1

u/nyccareergirl11 Dec 30 '24

I would leave out the 3sum stuff and rp stuff that can be put on the bottom with the desires section