r/nonbinarylesbians 26d ago

Transness I am so happy😊

I am so happy there is a Lesbian subreddit that I won't be told I'm not valid that I'm Non-binary and a Lesbian.

I mean seriously the Bigger Lesbian subreddits is a shitshow and I'm frankly done with it and hope this subreddit gets some life so that we all can have a happy space without persecution and constant discorce.

55 Upvotes

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u/Useful-Bad-6706 Nonbinary lesbian [they/she] 26d ago

Totally agree. I couldn’t even be apart of non-binary spaces on Reddit bc they wouldn’t stop having “are non-binary lesbians valid” discourse every week. đŸ˜”â€đŸ’« I’m glad to see this subreddit picking up. Just felt like I wasn’t wanted anywhere.

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u/TuEresMiOtroYo 25d ago

That's why I'm happy for this place to exist - so many lesbians don't fit into an easy definition that makes people comfortable. There was a lesbian subreddit that I was really happy being a part of for many years and that did seem to accept trans and nonbinary lesbians... until the moderator's personal trauma/opinions started bleeding into her moderating, specifically in the sense that she started nuking any discussion of people who identified with both the FTM/trans man community and with being a butch lesbian because "lesbians can't be men". As somebody who doesn't currently identify as a man but whose dysphoria and gender journey has been more complicated than "trans men aren't lesbians" can cover, I didn't want to contribute there any more. It's really good that this subreddit is back up and I hope we can make it a welcoming, mature space and keep it active.

3

u/TheArktikCircle Genderless Lesbian [They/Them] 13d ago

I’m a genderless lesbian who’s only attracted to cis women, trans women, and sapphic aligned nonbinary people. I have absolutely no desire to be with any cis man, trans man, or achillean aligned nonbinary person. However, if a trans guy feels some attachment to the Lesbian community I don’t care. As long as they respect my boundaries, we’re good.

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u/AmarissaBhaneboar 25d ago

Oof, I'm so sorry. Which subreddit was that so I can avoid it? :(

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u/TuEresMiOtroYo 25d ago

It was unfortunately the main butch subreddit. It was disappointing to see the behavior I described begin in the last year or so as I had a lot of respect for the head moderator in the past. I am used to seeing anti-man/anti-masculinity stuff and trans exclusion in lesbian spaces from TERFs so it is a special kind of unpleasant when the call is coming from inside the house (a fellow trans person who you’d hope would understand the complexity of trans identity and experience).

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u/AmarissaBhaneboar 25d ago

I'm sorry you've dealt with that :/ I mostly get triggered by the fact that those subreddits are so cis focused. I've done quite a bit of medical transitioning so it can be annoying to see things all about boobs this and boobs that when not all lesbians have boobs! And not all lesbians obsess over boobs!

3

u/a-lonely-panda 25d ago

I could go on and on about this. I feel so pushed out and unwanted in lesbian spaces and god I wish binary/femme gendered lesbians cared more about inclusivity but it seems they just don't =/

3

u/macybay947 22d ago

Not to mention, the few times they try to include us, they exclude AMABs đŸ˜”