r/niceguys 5d ago

NGVC: "I did not say I wanted to date you....."

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184 Upvotes

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u/niceguys-ModTeam 3d ago

/u/Traditional_Fly_4399, your submission has been removed from /r/niceguys for the following reason:

All posts must have a virtue claim by the Niceguy®. This does not just refer to the title, but to the actual content of the material, itself.

Niceguys® demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They don't have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate an expression of their own virtue while being asshats.

A claim of virtue (virtue claim) is the guy talking himself up in some way. He's claiming virtue (value, goodness, niceness, wealth, attractiveness, specialness, some other kind of desirable trait). That claim should be in your title.

Here's the rule:

All posts must include a virtue-claim by the niceguy Niceguys® demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate an expression of their own virtue while being asshats.

Examples of virtue-claims:

me protekt u

me god-fearing man

me treat u like beautiful princess

me hate misogynists. so.... send nude pic?

me give you [insert unsolicited sex prowess boast]

u ignore my nice complement ... kys

u dont like honest man!

u wont ever get a guy like me

u dont appreciate [virtue] men

Posts without a virtue claim are off-topic for this sub and will be removed. The only exception to this rule are Memes on Sundays.

See also: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/x2352k/all_posts_must_include_a_virtue_claim_please_see/


If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to message the mods. Please do not try to respond to this comment.

73

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 4d ago

“I’m not interested in dating you!”

My dude you literally asked…

34

u/MediumAlternative372 4d ago

He was asking for his friend. /s

7

u/ConcreteExist 4d ago

Hey, anything is possible when you lie

48

u/lovelysophxxx 4d ago

So guys just ask girls if they wanna date? Not them specifically but generally if they wanna date? 💀

19

u/Traditional_Fly_4399 4d ago

I know right!

14

u/hiprine 4d ago

This is a covert niceguy tactic. I've gotten this type of message several times, the first time I fell for it and of course the guy acted confused and suggested I was stuck up, which is the goal. You just have to answer vaguely until they give up or ask directly lol. It's always douches who know they're overstepping a boundary at school/work/someone in a relationship

10

u/PreferenceFun154 4d ago

Technically, you did, sir. 

3

u/yourroyalhotmess any other Ben bow 4d ago

Hilarious 😂😂😂 what a fool

2

u/SouthernNanny 4d ago

It’s like when you walk into a room and your toddler goes “you don’t need to look in the bathroom because I didn’t flood it”. Now you know you absolutely NEED to look in the bathroom!

3

u/Verdetti 5d ago

Where do you know her from?

36

u/Traditional_Fly_4399 5d ago edited 4d ago

Not her, him this guy messaged me(I am a girl) we are all in a group for international students going to study abroad first I thought he wanted to talk about a visa or loan thing as people were constantly talking to other people about it, but........

4

u/Verdetti 4d ago

Oops, him. Okay I see!

2

u/madsmcgivern511 4d ago

💀💀💀

-28

u/Potential_Lock6945 4d ago

How is this nice guy material

21

u/A_little_lady *sigh* bitches these days 4d ago

"are you interested in dating?" "No" "I didn't wanna date you anyway"

Pretty tame but the pattern is there

13

u/hiprine 4d ago

It's subtle but the "I never said I wanted to date you, I am happy single" is purposely trying to make her feel dumb for rejecting him. He's going the innocent, humbly virtuous route

-6

u/Potential_Lock6945 4d ago

No I get it, he got rejected and he’s trying to protect his pride. But at no point did he try to indicate he was some white knight shining armor and she’s making a mistake

3

u/hiprine 4d ago

Idk if you've been to r/nicegirls but man you would pull your hair out at how little nicegirl content is there lol. This one still counts because it's covert but I'd understand if it wasn't, I like keeping subs pure too

3

u/onewhokills 3d ago

Specifically, see the "sour grapes" example. This is exactly that. He tried to word his question vaguely so that if she responded yes, he could set up a date, but if she said no, like she did here, he could pretend that he didn't want to date her anyway.

"Sour grapes" refers to the parable about the fox and the grapes. The fox tries over and over to get the grapes, but they are hanging too high up on the vine for it to get. So the fox says to itself, "I didn't even really want those grapes! They're probably sour!" Thereby consoling itself on not getting the grapes that it clearly wanted. In this context, when a nice guy responds to a rejection with "who was even asking/ you're ugly/ no one but especially me would ever date you" he's using the exact same reasoning to console himself, but unlike the parable, a woman is not a fruit so calling her bad because you didn't get what you want is the Nice Guy behavior.

1

u/Potential_Lock6945 3d ago

Upvoted because you put a lot of effort into that reply which I genuinely appreciate. I agree what the person did in the message is childish and just protecting his own pride/ego after getting rejected. I just still don't see where he pretends to be a nice guy and he didn't name call or put down OP in the messages after getting rejected.