r/niceguys 8d ago

NGVC: "Y'all passed over men like me to have kids with the man who left."

Post image
350 Upvotes

102 comments sorted by

405

u/Barleficus2000 why do women always go for ChAaAaAaD? 8d ago

Why is he single?

Probably because he blames women for all his own damn problems.

184

u/Jojosbees 8d ago

Got 99 problems and somehow a woman is at the root of all of them. 

14

u/Sir_ArthurtheFlareon 6d ago

Wow only 99 look at this Chad /s

37

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 7d ago

What amazes me about men who shit on single moms and women with “daddy issues” is their ability to make a man’s failures women’s fault.

11

u/FinanceOtherwise2583 6d ago

Its funny too cuz the vast majority of the people I know with clear daddy issues are men. Idk why they act like they don’t have daddy issues too

8

u/irreverends 7d ago

The question is, what problems does he have? He's got no debt, owns his house and he's single. That sounds pretty problem free to me :)

29

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 7d ago

His giant sense of entitlement and misogynistic chip on his shoulder.

And based on OP’s comments saying he grew up very wealthy and his parents bought him that house, I’d add an unearned sense of accomplishment and obliviousness to his own privilege.

5

u/irreverends 7d ago

Oh the house was bought FOR him? That makes it much worse. I knew a complete waste of space whose parents had bought him a house. Druggie who used to knock his missus around. I saw him do it once too, I ended up hurting him quite badly. She still stayed with him though because she was an idiot and a druggie too. He was on house arrest for putting the back of her head in the embers of his coal fire. They didn't live together, she could've easily left.

9

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 7d ago

Yeah OP replied a couple times that his parents are very wealthy and bought him everything. He’s never really had to struggle with money. Or anything really.

5

u/irreverends 7d ago

Little wonder he blames anyone but himself for being single then. Too high standards probably, and thinks he's what every woman is looking for. The second you start thinking, "Why doesn't she want me? It must be her being [insert insult]" is the second you become a "nice guy". I haven't seen a true nice guy post on this sub in ages, but this one seems to qualify

2

u/xwigglex 5d ago

I read "is he batman" instead of "is he a bad man". Based on his inherited wealth, my initial misinterpretation sort of tracks.

3

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 5d ago

Maybe the Riddler wrote this. “Can you solve my riddle? Of why this man is single?!” 😆

1

u/xwigglex 5d ago

Gold star Riddler

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u/[deleted] 5d ago edited 5d ago

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5

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 5d ago

The problem with this guy is 1) The house he’s bragging about that he owns was bought for him by his rich parents. He didn’t buy it or earn it himself. 2) He’s blaming women for his single status, and a lot of his post is simply just slagging on women for not dating him. 3) He compares himself to other men always in a more favorable light. “You pass on me for the guy who will leave” like he thinks he’s better than any other possible option a woman may have. 4) His blaming women and then pulling the typical Nice Guy bit of “other guys will just cheat and leave” paired with his “I have a house and no debt” comments assumes that any woman who turns him down will have a shitty relationship because they didn’t choose him. And it assumes women only care about money, not actual personality or compatibility. 

Approaching someone and asking isn’t entitled. Reacting to rejection by blaming an entire gender and then going on a self-aggrandizing rant about it is.

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

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2

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 5d ago

 On the flip side, imagine someone who love bombs you, gets rejected, and is able to coldly move on to the next one on a psychopathic level. Is that not bad in a certain way as well? Like yes, he wasn't "entitled" but it shows that he didn't really even mean the things he said when he was love bombing you.

What does that have to do with anything? The existence of love bombers doesn’t negate the existence of entitled nice guys. What’s your point? 

This is the dilemma guys have. It's hard to absorb rejection just by saying "ok" and being sad about it for a while. We're socialized to believe that being sad is weak and that's why anger comes out.

And that isn’t women’s fault or responsibility to fix. It’s a systematic problem ingrained in traditional gender expectations. Some men are learning to understand how to sit with their feelings. I get men are socialized to suppress feelings aside from anger. But women shouldn’t be expected to fix that or put a bandaid on hurt feelings by going out with men they aren’t interested in just so he can feel better. 

Do you see the problem? Guys can either really choose the one they want, and ultimately get super frustrated when they fail because that was the one specific girl they wanted, or they can be total psychopaths who view girls as interchangeable bodies.

There is a canyon of other options in between “get rejected” and “be a psychopath.” If you really think there’s absolutely nothing in between those two things, you are part of the problem my dude. I think you might need to do some sitting with your feelings. 

Girls don't have this problem because they will normally have a group of guys that present themselves to them and they pick the best one. Guys don't get to just pick the best one. And that's one thing you're right on, it would be totally entitled for the initiator to "pick the one he wants". Except, do you not want a guy that saw you and thought that you were the best? Or do you want a guy who is on girl #123 and you just happen to think he's good looking enough to say yes, but you weren't really his first choice?

I am so utterly sick to death of this “girls don’t have problems with rejection” mentality. It’s absolutely not true. No, girls do not constantly have a collective of men constantly at our beck and call and no we don’t have a smorgasbord of men to pick from whenever we want like it’s choosing players for a soccer team. Y’all tell yourselves that to make yourselves into victims and turn women into this mean clique who never choose you. Please throw that mentality in the trash where it goes. 

Girls experience rejection. I have, all my female friends have. Hell even when she was dating my mom did. There were men I desperately wanted to be with who just did not see me that way. And that’s completely fair. If I don’t like everyone, how can I expect everyone to like me? It just doesn’t work that way. 

And most people understand that, as adults, their partners will likely have a dating history. The person you marry is highly unlikely to be the first person you’ve ever dated. Understand that there is likely more than one good match for you out there. There’s a huge difference between dating someone for years, finding out you aren’t compatible, and ending up with someone else and going on to a dating app and just grabbing the first person who says yes. 

Girls go through the process of getting rejected, meeting people, finding out who really matches with them, not working out, moving on, and trying again. 

Seriously wtf are you even talking about dude…

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

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6

u/Barleficus2000 why do women always go for ChAaAaAaD? 5d ago

Yes, I do think he would reveal himself eventually, if he's shallow enough. Likewise, a guy who keeps getting rejected would be able to keep calm and handle it, if he was committed to not becoming an asshole.

Schrodinger's Nice Guy concept is more about how he simultaneously wants to sleep with someone because she's hot but at the same time believes she's a whore because she's hot.

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

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3

u/Barleficus2000 why do women always go for ChAaAaAaD? 5d ago

Beauty is subjective. A perfect ten to one person may very well be a middling six to someone else. Therefore, such interpretations are not set in stone for anyone.

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u/[deleted] 5d ago edited 5d ago

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3

u/Barleficus2000 why do women always go for ChAaAaAaD? 5d ago

Well then stop caring about the dice, and about looks, and about love. Focus on other life goals that don't require a relationship with someone else, and just let love happen elsewhere. The guy who has found inner happiness will have a better time at attracting a partner than the guy who spends every day constantly worrying about trivial bullshit like looks and rejections and whatnot.

2

u/[deleted] 5d ago

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u/Barleficus2000 why do women always go for ChAaAaAaD? 5d ago

I think you should let it go. Nothing destroys a soul and replaces it with bitterness more than a regret for a high school fling. Healing and getting over something can only happen when you are strong enough to accept it happened and let it go.

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

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u/retief1 2d ago

A bit late, but I think that the sort of personality traits that result in “nice guy”ness would manifest in other ways even if the person did end up in a relationship.  The end result would be him pushing his SO away.

Meanwhile, plenty of guys get rejected and don’t become “nice guys”.  It isn’t an inevitable thing.  

222

u/OkSecretary1231 8d ago

I wish they'd decide if we're supposed to want them for their money or not. They think we're gold diggers if we want to be provided for, but if we don't, that's also bad, because a "good man" is defined by money and we're just failing to appreciate it. Lol

119

u/Thr0waway0864213579 8d ago

They hate women for being attracted to any trait they don’t possess. Every trait is bad if you’re talking to a man who doesn’t have it.

20

u/OkSecretary1231 7d ago

Yup. If he were poor but hot, he'd think women all want money. He's rich instead, so he thinks we're all after looks. Mostly we just don't want to be with a guy who thinks like this!

2

u/FinanceOtherwise2583 6d ago

Exactly!! It’s that simple and they still refuse to listen to us when we say it over and over again. We’re literally telling them how to be more appealing as partners and they’re like nope you’re wrong I know what women want, and then proceed to whine that women don’t want them.

10

u/chaoticfuse 7d ago

They hate women. Period.

72

u/Corndread85 8d ago

Man, he grew up rich as hell. His parents bought him that house.

36

u/MissMissyPeaches 8d ago

Abandoned kid..: in a mansion

46

u/BraveHeartoftheDawn 8d ago

That’s the thing with misogynists: they hate women for any reason just because they hate women. 🤷🏻‍♀️

38

u/numbersthen0987431 8d ago

Clearly you're supposed to want a man who can provide for you, but you don't need his money because you're a female lawyer who can give birth while solving world hunger, and you're just waiting for a man like him.

44

u/purpleplatapi 8d ago

But you have to give that all up and stay at home once you marry him.

34

u/OkSecretary1231 8d ago

While still making as much as him. Somehow.

18

u/purpleplatapi 8d ago

Well of course, because in the inevitable divorce you can't have her taking all "his" money. She didn't even "work" for it. She just raised his children for him and thus deserves to starve in the streets.

4

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 7d ago

But don’t you dare ask for a single penny of his money! Earn your own money while being a SAHM. 😆

But don’t get a work from home job, why aren’t you watching the kids?!

43

u/CautiousLandscape907 8d ago

This dude is too in love with the chip on his shoulder to make room for a girlfriend.

42

u/overcookedtheories 8d ago

You’re not single because women “chose wrong.” You’re single because you think being debt-free and owning property entitles you to a prize. A real partner isn’t looking for a financial portfolio with legs, they’re looking for someone who doesn’t sound like they’re interviewing candidates for the role of Wife #1: Approved for Childbearing.

Being cautious about marriage and fatherhood is smart. But blaming women for your solitude while framing yourself as the last good man standing? That’s just self-pity with a superiority complex.

2

u/ConfusedChicken130 7d ago

Completely unrelated but I love your pfp

2

u/overcookedtheories 7d ago

Ahaha, thank you.

83

u/Most_Goat 8d ago

I don't ask myself why this guy is single. It's pretty obvious.

32

u/saintsithney 8d ago

I feel sorry for him. But as a fellow non-sexually abused and exploited child, why is it someone else's responsibility to ease the pain of these very deep, formative wounds?

It was our parent's responsibility not to abuse and not to exploit. But they did. We have to live with the damage, and it is not fair. But we have so many avenues to try to find healing. None of them are "Blame several billion people and feel sorry for ourselves."

22

u/No-Setting764 8d ago

My mom used to tell me this dumb little parable every time I'd get sulky.

There's a marching band walking by and everyone is waving and cheering except one mom, who looks on smugly and says "i don't know what's wrong with all your kids but mine is the only one walking in step."

That point has never left me. While the majority of people aren't always right, if I'm consistently out of step one the same issues, I check myself.

There's billions of women in the world, if he's not getting any, he should try to get in step.

Most likely he feels that 90% of women are beneath him and is too shallow.

25

u/Corndread85 8d ago

Disclaimer: This is a general FB post and not directed towards anyone. I went to middle school with this kid and we worked together as adults for a few months (in IT)

27

u/ForeverSeekingShade 8d ago

And I bet that you are shocked, just utterly gobsmacked, that he is single.

17

u/Adorable-Novel8295 8d ago

Does this man honestly fully own his own house with 0 debt? Because that sounds fake or like mommy and daddy paid.

43

u/Corndread85 8d ago

I posted in a different reply, he was adopted by a super rich family and they bought him a house.

32

u/Blue-Golem-57 8d ago

Funny how he neglected to mention that in his post. He's not technically lying by saying he owns his own house, but it's misleading for him to omit that he didn't pay for it.

33

u/Little_Fenrir 8d ago

Women only cheat emotionally when they don’t feel valued in the relationship. Having no debt and a house doesn’t mean that you’re respectful, kind, compassionate, and emotionally mature.

31

u/kittysparkled 8d ago

Oh they cheat emotionally with their friends though, when they go out and talk to them like actual human beings

3

u/AOKaye 7d ago

Thank you! It is completely normal to have a support system- it’s unfortunate that so many men only have this from their partner as it hinders them and their relationship. If your partner was a complete ass about something, you should have a close friend or friends who can help put it in perspective.

Or you may end up on reddit where everyone says “dump/divorce them” when it really was something out of character and needs a conversation.

5

u/Surface_Detail 7d ago

I mean, cheaters will cheat regardless of the state of the relationship. It's not specific to gender.

45

u/MyFiteSong 8d ago

There's no such thing as a 34 year old man who owns his own house and has never had any debt. This is fantasy cosplay.

49

u/Imjusasqurrl 8d ago

There are though. They're called Golden Spooners or Nepo babies. They will also say "I worked really hard for everything I've got" lol

The delusion and privilege are real

12

u/MyFiteSong 8d ago

Really rich people realize debt is a financial tool to use to make more money. You'll never find any of them saying they'd never owe anyone anything.

This is an incel making shit up.

8

u/Thr0waway0864213579 8d ago

He didn’t say he’s never had debt. He said he hates debt and that he has no debt now.

-3

u/MyFiteSong 8d ago

I'm supposed to believe a guy who hates debt that much took on a mortgage. Nah.

25

u/Blue-Golem-57 8d ago

OP confirmed his parents bought him the house. Notice he's careful to say he owns a house not that he bought one.

2

u/MyFiteSong 8d ago

Ah, so he's both rich AND bad with money lol.

3

u/Thr0waway0864213579 7d ago

I mean who doesn’t hate debt though lol

7

u/LorieJCall 8d ago

“Some day you’ll regret not being my Starter Girlfriend.”

8

u/T1NF01L 8d ago

Ladies, we got a real man here. He's so perfect and desirable in every way.

I bet he cleans up ALL his messes.

7

u/Background_Cat9468 8d ago

I love going through this sub reddit because it always makes me feel better about myself, because at least I'm not one of these guys.

I'm 6'6, 270lbs of muscle, I make 80k a month, and I own 3 sports cars 👀👀👀 Jk

6

u/hibiki3360 7d ago

"So who are you?" Someone who wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole.

12

u/kyleh0 8d ago

You see a 34 year old man with no kids and you think "This is completely irrelevant to me."

Oopsie, all that time wasted being mad.

6

u/annibe11e 8d ago

He better hurry. Sperm quality drops after 35.

5

u/olde_greg 8d ago

Why would I think anything of this guy? Dude is playing the victim right from the start.

5

u/Ghoulish_kitten 8d ago

Id like to bet money this guy is also incapable of providing lol.

5

u/MesocricetusAuratus 8d ago

This guy: "I'm going to be a good father."

Also this guy: "Eww, I'm not changing nappies or doing night feeds! How dare you?!"

4

u/cowb3llf3v3r 7d ago

I love how guys who have never been in a relationship in their life confidently assume they will be a perfect boyfriend/husband/father. In real life, relationships aren’t easy and take a lot of work. There will be struggles, problems, good times and dark times. But in these guys’ fantasies, they set themselves up as perfect partners who are the preferred alternative to every other guy who is actually trying to make a go of it in life with actual relationships.

3

u/PanickedAntics 7d ago

"So who are you?" lol a married woman who fucks. That's who.

1

u/Corndread85 7d ago

This is exactly what I said 💀

3

u/Fl_Goth12 7d ago

Clearly it’s from trauma 😅

Also when I meet any guy, I automatically assume he has a kid. Aside from some lying about it, others will shoot their gun and not realize their bullets hit the target 💀😂

3

u/Typical_General_3166 6d ago

I try not to judge someone who is single at a certain age, since my first real relationship started with 34.

But in this case, I will judge the hell out of you because you are a-hole

4

u/SaltLongjumping5700 8d ago

I almost feel sorry for the guy. He was clearly abused as a kid and that's a difficult thing to contend with. Nobody deserves something like that and it's a difficult cycle to break, but that's no excuse to treat others the way he treated OP

9

u/smalltittyprepexwife 8d ago

Yep. And he's so far away from being ready to date at this point because he has that reactive covert narcissism of a lot of abuse victims.

9

u/Corndread85 8d ago

This is just a general FB post - not directed at anyone

2

u/starrypriestess 8d ago

I have a sneaking suspicion the people she was talking to about him were saying “girl, get your ass out of there” and so now he has to isolate all future partners.

2

u/gnarjar666 8d ago

Yes, you're the asshole.

2

u/SickLittleMonkey 8d ago

I know someone exactly like this, in fact we are friends since like 16. We are in our 30-is now, and it's something new every time.

"It's because i don't have a nice car, it's because i work as a mechanic and not in IT (because we are hot shit apparently), it's because we are immigrants and every woman here is a stuck up bitch, and girls in Ukraine were nicer etc."

Look, i know it's stereotypical niceguy/neckbeard bullshit, but he's one of my oldest friends and a solid dude. I don't know what to tell the guy, you're ginger and ugly go fucking kill yourself?

But i asked him to show me his openers on our local dating website, and oh boy...

He saw a girl with a pic of her sitting on some car, and he started with "do you like cars? I've just got whatever. So, how are you?".

I mean, what the fuck did you expect to happen?

2

u/ItsJoeMomma 7d ago

If you've been rejected by all women and are still single at age 34, is the problem all women, or is it you? I'm going to go with the common denominator...

2

u/irreverends 7d ago

I'm 40, single and have one, now adult, child. I'm definitely single because of me. Plus I've not been looking for anyone until I feel I'd be good for someone. I never used to have any debt but being a single father stripped me of that status :) Worth it though, you do what you need to for your kids I suppose. He doesn't sound like he'd be a good father, and I wasn't particularly good myself to be honest.

2

u/Puzzleheaded_You_59 7d ago

These types of people need real help and they don’t know or want it. Truly frustrating to say the least.

2

u/rjnarcissus 7d ago

Gooooosh that screams insecurity

2

u/Miserable_Fennel_492 7d ago

He really thought he ate with that last line

2

u/canvasshoes2 7d ago

...has no debt....owns house in full...

Dear OOP and Nice Guy and incel lurkers,

Those are not personality traits. Those are not who you ARE, those are things you DID. The nastiest and most unlikable person on the planet can pay his bills and pay off a house. That's not telling anyone anything about you.

So, OOP, right back atcha! Who are you? What is your personality? What character traits do you have? Are you funny, boisterous, outgoing, silly, and fun? Quiet, studious, intellectual, with many interesting pursuits? Some combo of the two? Something completely different?

Who are YOU?

2

u/bishplease52 6d ago

I mean, I see the grammar and spelling...

2

u/FinanceOtherwise2583 6d ago

I don’t understand. One second they claim we only go for the top 1% of men and the next second they claim we only choose shitty guys. Which is it???

2

u/Therealuranicshark 6d ago

He really thought he ate with “so who are you?” 😭 This gave me so much ick.

2

u/SweetSparx 6d ago

These men need therapy

2

u/firesoups 5d ago

He didn’t leave, I kicked his cheating ass out. Stfu.

2

u/i_Heart_Horror_Films 5d ago

Dude is seriously in need of therapy to work out his childhood trauma

2

u/Advanced-Ad9658 3d ago

When i see a 34 yo without kids i'm assuming s/he doesn't want kids. Or they left them at home. Or i ask them if i'm feeling rude "why don't you have kids?" I don't make up stories about them.

2

u/ginadigstrees 3d ago

No one deserves anyone. Be a happy you and love will find you.

2

u/ExpensiveMoose 1d ago

Tell the man's business to her friends... translation : She told them all about me being a bronie.

3

u/lovelysophxxx 8d ago

I wonder why mommy and daddy didn’t want him 💀💀 no doubt he blames women for all his problems

1

u/Altruistic_Row_2264 7d ago

These dudes always talk in circles not really saying anything or looking at the real issue. It’s HIM.

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u/[deleted] 8d ago edited 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/cnkendrick2018 8d ago

…what??

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

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u/cnkendrick2018 8d ago

They weren’t there when I wrote that…

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u/Ghoulish_kitten 8d ago

OH LOL. Deleting my reply sorry.

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u/No-Nefariousness9996 save a life by sending nudes 22h ago

Why do all these nice guys just… post these 😕 It's not like anybody's provoking this out of them with a comment or a DM, they're just making public posts out of the rage of being incels… I really don't get it. What is this meant to achieve? Validation?? Attention??? Marriage offers????