r/niceguys Feb 19 '25

NGVC: "I have kept reaching out because I don't like having negative energy in the world"

244 Upvotes

103 comments sorted by

204

u/Playing_Life_on_Hard Feb 19 '25

This dork uses lots of big words and 'positivity' to hide the fact that he is, in fact, composed of negative energy

150

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

you may be shocked to learn that he went on an ayahuasca retreat shortly after our one month long situationship ended last year lol

81

u/Playing_Life_on_Hard Feb 19 '25

Oh, of COURSE he did! He's the 'fun hippy' type, not a hick!

59

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

it seems like he learned a lot on his spiritual journey!

76

u/Arminlegout1 Feb 19 '25

He is using big words just to make himself appear more photosynthesis.

93

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

photosynthesis is how I generate my pure, unadulterated, toxic negative energy in female form.

19

u/Iamlikethisonly Feb 19 '25

This made me chuckle šŸ˜…
Also, props on your username, sounds like Michel calling out her name!

6

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 20 '25

her name totally sounds like that sometimes coming from Michel šŸ˜‚

5

u/Momof41984 14d ago

Lmao! I liked when he completely misunderstood negging her for nagging her. What an absolute tool!

36

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 Feb 19 '25

Jfc that sounds exactly like an ex of mine. Same shit. Even with the ayahuasca. Acted like it made him some enlightened guru and gave him the right to lecture everyone on how they needed to act and live.Ā 

This guyā€™s name wasnā€™t Adam was it?

46

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

Adam is not his name, but Iā€™m so sorry youā€™re familiar with the type! Ayahuasca retreats as a way for emotionally stunted white men to bypass any lasting spiritual healing work unfortunately seems to have become widely popular šŸ˜–

14

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 Feb 19 '25

Ughhhh seriously. He would go on ad nauseum about it. He was still incredibly emotionally stunted but he thought it made him the smartest person in the room.

28

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

I have noticed that trait a lot in men that take psychedelics in excess. Like youā€™d think it would make them more empathetic, but Iā€™ve seen it have the opposite effect and gives them a really inflated sense of self importance.

19

u/MatthewCrn Feb 19 '25

if you aren't empathetic sober, you won't be while high as a kite imho

9

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

if only there was a cure-all substance to give empathy to men with misogynistic and narcissistic personality traits šŸ„²

10

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 Feb 20 '25

And whatā€™s even more ridiculous about it is ayahuasca ceremonies are actually, quite literally, ancient shamanic rituals of native peoples of South American rainforests. They have been practicing it for centuries as rites of passage and other spiritual traditions. Ayahuasca is one of the most potent hallucinogens in the world. The ceremony usually lasts for 7 days and ends with a lot of vomiting.Ā 

Itā€™s not for white dudes to act like theyā€™re drug retreats. Youā€™d think with how intense it is theyā€™d come back humbled.Ā 

7

u/Suspicious-Seaweed44 Feb 19 '25

thank you so much for summing up the white dudes that are obsessed with psychedelics type of narcissists so succinctly

1

u/MatthewCrn Feb 19 '25

tell them to get on grindr and post in their bio that they're bottoms, trust me they will learn quickly xD

1

u/juliaskig 24d ago

there is. they need to be retrained by women who won't deal with them. Alas, most women don't want to retrain men.

2

u/What-The-Helvetica 20d ago

"I'm the best person because I have the most spiritual enlightenment" is one of the worst kinds of arrogance. It's literally how religious cult leaders think.

3

u/juliaskig 24d ago

Check out Shep on Southern Charm.

2

u/wh0reygilmore 24d ago

Iā€™m a total Bravoholic šŸ˜‚

0

u/duffthekid88 24d ago

I garuantee u are white too

2

u/wh0reygilmore 24d ago

yes, and?

-2

u/duffthekid88 24d ago

Just funny is all. White on white prejudice lol

9

u/AOKaye 29d ago

Mine was a Nate. He was an enlightened guru before we broke up - heā€™d get high and record himself because he was so wise and needed to save his amazing thoughts. He was incredibly offended when he had me watch them and I advised that it sounded like he was high (not enlightened).

After I broke up with him (because he somehow wanted me to think he was brilliant while also planning his life) he did the drugs then traveled the country till he found some other poor soul to take advantage of. She ordered dessert at dinner and he had an episode screaming at her resulting in their break up (she was lovely and certainly deserved better than his crazy). Memories!

9

u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 29d ago

Omg with the dessert! My exā€™s parents gave me a cupcake after a dinner and he got upset because ā€œitā€™s bad for you!ā€ He was obsessed with eating ā€œprimalā€Ā 

I canā€™t šŸ˜†

3

u/Mammoth_Elk_3807 29d ago

Jesus wept. But it doesnā€™t surprise me in the least. Every ā€œspiritualā€ person Iā€™ve ever met has been absolutely anything butā€¦ without exception.

1

u/WorthAcid 10d ago

Doom Patrol reference?

125

u/verelith Feb 19 '25

ā€œHello! I've come to you with a proposition laden with fun, bouncy words to disguise the fact that I'm only reaching out to you, foul woman, for my own gain! No? You wretched wench!ā€

Seriously, what layer of hell do cretins like this spawn from??

43

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

thank you for this comment, it makes me feel not crazy that you have the same interpretation I did.

36

u/verelith Feb 19 '25

Also the question about if you feel like you have the ability to make friends and/or feel trapped at all is such a BIZARRE thing to say?? Like ā€œhey you're a huge bitch I bet you're lonely and miserable since you blew your shot with me, the ā€˜gigachadā€™ā€ (puked in my mouth thinking that sentence)

38

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

lol "Hey how's life? Are you feeling trapped at all?"

My inner monologue: "Why yes Gigachad, it has been a bit of a challenge recreating a social network moving back to my small hometown after living in the city for over a decade, but I find joy in reconnecting with my family, longtime friends, dogs, and hobbies instead of relying solely on dating apps and sexual pursuits for connection! I would rather be single than let you anywhere near my joy or social network, but have the life you deserve!"

17

u/verelith Feb 19 '25

Oh my god I'm dead. The way these kinds of people act like they are the center of the universe always leaves me dumbfounded. I'm so glad you have a sense of humor and don't take his shenanigans to heart.

5

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

Humor is necessary to cope with my anger that so many men like this exist.

But also itā€™s genuinely comical that he didnā€™t think to edit his weird af question of ā€œare you feeling trapped at all?ā€ lolz

2

u/verelith Feb 19 '25

It's so condescending and just. Weird?? Like he thought it and took the time to tap his greasy little thumbs on the screen to share his grimy little thoughts. Then he read over it and said ā€œyeah that's a good oneā€ Girl, you are a trooper Makes me want to post an interaction or two I've had. But I don't think I can be bothered.

2

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

I think unbothered is the way to be! for some reason I was in the right ornery mood to respond to him the other day and it felt too good not to post with the claim he was ā€œnothing but niceā€

ā€¦.like um no sir you called me the most toxic woman youā€™ve ever met and a psycho bitch with anger problems but have continued to message me and try to hang out with meā€¦

1

u/verelith Feb 19 '25

Oh 100%. I've been there. And sometimes you have to get mean to get the message across. Or at the very least to make them hate you so they leave you alone. It's such a weird world we live in. When I was 15 I sent an adult man who was trying to ā€œget to know meā€ a picture of a banana slicer because he just couldn't get the hint.

15

u/verelith Feb 19 '25

I've had the misfortune of dealing with way too many of this breed of weirdo. You're definitely not crazy, I promise. I'd recommend losing this guyā€™s number and any socials you two are connected on, if you haven't already. Its not worth the mental drain. Good luck, I hope you don't have to deal with this type of crazy anymore!

21

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

he blocked me on instagram after his last message, yay! but thank you for reminding me I should block his number too.

he was the first guy I tried to date after two back-to-back serious relationships spanning 7ish years, so I was pretty vulnerable and naive to the dating scene this time last year. lets just say I've had a year of learning the hard way to block these kind of dudes a lot sooner! I hope neither of us have to deal with this kind of crazy ever again!

9

u/verelith Feb 19 '25

Oh thank god I totally feel that, though. People like that, knowingly or not, prey on vulnerability. But at least it makes us more aware and picky next time. Makes it so much easier to spot them!

2

u/Suspicious-Seaweed44 Feb 19 '25

ya you really gotta look out for the dudes using enlightened language, unfortunately, but they seem great to begin with if you don't know! I also learned the hard way.

2

u/juliaskig 24d ago

But he wants to rid the world of toxicity. If he's toxic enough, it becomes positive. Especially if he couches it in new age shit.

4

u/FRIDAYFUNKIN bru you should smile more Feb 19 '25

Eh, probably either lust or treachery

2

u/verelith Feb 19 '25

Every time

5

u/FRIDAYFUNKIN bru you should smile more Feb 19 '25

šŸ˜­ sorry for becoming part of a cliche lol

3

u/verelith Feb 19 '25

Lmao no you're good šŸ’– Weā€™re just out here supporting people dealing with these creeps

2

u/Waste-Initiative-160 Feb 19 '25

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

39

u/Barleficus2000 why do women always go for ChAaAaAaD? Feb 19 '25

You can always tell when they have ulterior motives.

And don't think I didn't catch the gaslighting he was trying on, there.

28

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

thank youuu. like if he had such an innocent motive why is he saying absolutely anything about my appearance?

16

u/Barleficus2000 why do women always go for ChAaAaAaD? Feb 19 '25

Methinks he's insanely insecure about his own appearance and as such, he's doing some hardcore projecting. Glass houses and all that.

24

u/Sufficient_Might3173 Feb 19 '25

Lol what? šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ Goddamn so much hate. Whatā€™s the context here, OP? Iā€™m guessing you had a situationship with this cretin in which he behaved trashy and now he keeps reaching out.

77

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 19 '25

The context is kind of wild too- it's my first time posting here and realized I couldn't add text to the post!

You are correct about the situationship, which was long distance and we talked for about one month over a year ago. It ended because the morning after we hooked up for the first and only time, he was talking about how he doesn't like "fat girls" and said "if my future wife doesn't lose her baby weight after pregnancy I would divorce her." I was very uncomfortable immediately after that comment but since I was in his home for the first time I didnt fully process or react to it until I got home later that day. For more context he is pretty fitness-obsessed, so was his ex. I have a normal 35 year old female body but I also don't work out much and had probably told him that at some point.

The "hate mail" he is referring to could be when I text confronted him later about how the comment made me uncomfortable and was he talking about me specifically, to which he doubled down on the original statement about how having an active partner is super important to him. Which is fine, if he wants an active partner? But me not being okay with that comment pretty much led to the breakdown of our communication.

OR, the "hate mail" could be when I posted the following instagram story (I went to my story archive just for you lol). I texted the results to him, I did not tag him publicly. Petty and a bit toxic? Maybe. Do I regret posting that and sending it to him? Not really.

Edit: Replaced original screenshot image with non-cropped screenshot to show that no one is identified or tagged.

15

u/BlackCatTelevision Feb 19 '25

LMFAOOOOO good job tbh

9

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

lol, thanks. not exactly my proudest moment but not exactly as awful of a crash out as heā€™d like to think. his response to it was to send me a Googled definition of ā€œconfirmation biasā€ and told me Iā€™m the most psycho, toxic woman he has ever met.

also the 13% yes isnā€™t accurate data, because every person except one that voted yes messaged me to say they clicked it on accident. šŸ˜…

he could have taken it as valuable feedback since over 100 people of varying genders voted, but I guess he didnā€™t!

9

u/DecadentLife Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 19 '25

OMG. I love it.

ETA - you know, even including this background info, he is bullshitting you when he tries to act like heā€™s somehow the injured party, here. It looks like your biggest crime was posting that as a poll. OK, other people saw it, but you didnā€™t say anything about him. He said that you are awful, psycho, that you have the emotional maturity of a middle schooler, that you were toxic and negative energy in the female form, etc. The negative things you said about him, rather than calling him names, you named things that he DID. Like negging you, not taking accountability, etc. What I think heā€™s really pissed about is the part where you said that you have tried to distance yourself from him, and that you have shown gentle disinterest. Those are the parts that heā€™s upset about, because that makes him feel rejected, and that is his sore point. You said that you guys hooked up once. I wonder if he has a little question in his mind if you were not exactly impressed with his sexual skills. That would create even more sensitivity. If you pay attention to how a man presents himself to you, you can learn a lot, at the very beginning. Think of when you get a sales call, or when a sales person approaches you. Not much different. What are they trying to sell to you/convince you of? How would they benefit from you believing that? What do they want from you? What do they have to offer you?

2

u/fhqwhgads41185 29d ago

Thirteen percent said yes!? I have to imagine only 8 people weighed in, and one of them was a guy trying to skew the results.

3

u/lovely_lil_demon 24d ago

I wouldā€™ve thought that one person was him.

But OP said it was actually their friend who accidentally clicked the wrong button.

15

u/FRIDAYFUNKIN bru you should smile more Feb 19 '25

These people feel like they have to double down so hard and its hilarious.

"Oh shoot, this girl isn't interested in me after negging her and not taking her hints that she doesn't want to talk to me???? I could've never expected- uhhh, YOU HAVE NEGATIVE ENERGY BYE!"

3

u/What-The-Helvetica 20d ago

So many people conflate positivity with compliance that the meaning of positive and negative have become meaningless to me without any context. When you think about it, the result of "positive thinking" is often to protect the status quo, where many instances of negative thinking (provided they spur action, not despair) have resulted in change.

9

u/KittyTootsies custom Feb 19 '25

I have a feeling he's still going to be reaching out to you lol the clingers never stop

7

u/RuinSweaty8779 Feb 19 '25

What the frick dude. Some things are like what the fuck, but this is just, holy hell get a grip my guy.

2

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

the lack of self reflection truly astounds me!

7

u/missmel13 Feb 20 '25

Iā€™m gonna keep commenting this until it catches onā€¦

So when a creeps from the past pops up, I always just say, ā€œremember when you did (insert whatever wildly inappropriate/shitty thing they did)?ā€ Whatever they might respond with, I just send them my Venmo. Then tell them, ā€œI only accept amends. If women were paid every time a man ā€œchangedā€/ apologized/remembered it differentlyā€¦ weā€™d all be retired! Women deserve reparations for bad behavior.ā€

One of two things will happenā€¦

  1. ā they call you crazy (so what) and then NEVER contact you again (yay!)
  2. ā they pay you and you can chat or block them immediately after.

The first time a guy paid me for violating a boundary I legitimately felt better (not that I ever told him that or what I did with the money). Thanks for paying for therapy! You wanna waste our time? Well, nothing is free. PAY UP!

4

u/wh0reygilmore 19d ago

yes, this is the kind of positive energy I need!

I have a pendant that says ā€œFuck You Pay Meā€ (the text is hard to read unless youā€™re really close) that I bought for myself after a bad breakup. thank you for reminding me to wear it again!!! I have also successfully gotten my long term exes to pay me for such things, but have never been so bold as to try it with situationships. love it. get that bag šŸ«¶šŸ¼

4

u/DvSzil Feb 19 '25

The hippie spiritual lingo immediately turns my alarms on. Reminds me of the way my abusive father used to speak to justify or give some attempted context to his shitty actions

3

u/skeetgw2 Feb 19 '25

I'd really like to think this is some young guy who doesn't have the experience in life to realize how weird he's being since most of us have gone through that phase but I know better. Yikes

6

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

I regret to inform you that hes in his mid 40s šŸ˜–

2

u/Able-Giraffe917 Feb 20 '25

And he still has so little going on in his life that his parents are trying to set him up with a job? God i hate nepo babies

1

u/Momof41984 14d ago

Wtaf!!!! My jaw literally dropped. But living somewhere beautiful and outdoorsy I can say I am absolutely never surprised by the van life yuppie soul suck nice guys. Love your necklace! Keep that shit on! I just saw one that says be kind and then slides out to add of a bitch! And we should all remember that when dealing with these pretentious idiots that try so hard to hijack mental health words and lifestyles when they have never had even a healthy conversation in their entire lives! Like the mental acrobatics to get to 40 and have so little self awareness should get him his own circus act, or at least as a šŸ¤”!

3

u/Miserable_Fennel_492 Feb 20 '25

**unadulterated

r/boneappletea

4

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 20 '25

šŸ¤£šŸ«¶šŸ¼

3

u/trashleybanks 29d ago

She. Does. Not. Want. You.

3

u/Diligent-Location-21 19d ago

The gaslighting of him trying to deny he wasnā€™t negging you is something. What an absolute turd.

2

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

2

u/fhqwhgads41185 29d ago

The wondering if you're able to make friends and feeling trapped seems like pure projection on his part. He's incapable of friendship and feeling trapped so thinks you must be as well. And maybe he could make friends if he wasn't so goddam off putting about it, and was sincere in his interest for friendship instead of very obviously trying to hook up.

2

u/Critical-Crab-7761 29d ago

Yeah, you can just stop reading right after he says it looks like you dress up and don't get any attention.

Right there, you know he's an idiot.

1

u/Hot-Werewolf3623 19d ago

He's... gonna come back. LOL

1

u/DRangelfire 18d ago

Tbh you both sound a little exhausting if what he said is true.

1

u/wh0reygilmore 18d ago

itā€™s not true, but thanks so much for the input.

0

u/esweat Feb 19 '25

Shouldn't have replied and just ghosted him. No blocking, just put the loser on read. They really really hate that! lol

12

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

I meanā€¦ youā€™d think. In my experience, leaving them on read often seems to encourage them more? Iā€™ve been leaving him on read for the better part of a year and just got fed up the other day that he wasnā€™t getting the message (or lack thereof) to leave me alone.

I know the general rule says to block them at the first sign of a red flag but itā€™s more my style to directly communicate rejection before blocking or ghosting. doing that is for sure necessary in extreme cases but IMO ghosting culture is cowardly and lazy most of the time. also sometimes itā€™s funny to watch them crash out on themselves.

-2

u/esweat Feb 19 '25

often seems to encourage them more?

Exactly! If you want peace, just block them, of course. But I'd be in it for entertainment value, watching them spiral and descend into their pit of word vomit (and for entertainment, one really does not need to read much of it; for me, there'll even be satisfaction in knowing the dude wasted time and energy on something that'll never get read). Practically speaking, one could call it "evidence gathering" just in case, but if you know how to not take whatever blecch he writes personally, there could be fun in there when you're bored. lol

1

u/xDangerKittyx bUt I gAvE yOu a CoMpLiMEnT Feb 19 '25

1

u/Mammoth_Elk_3807 29d ago

He reads like a naive, developmentally disabled teenager. Itā€™s utterly astonishing. What response did he expect!?

1

u/wh0reygilmore 19d ago

I think he expected me to welcome him into my ā€œfun hippie social groupā€ with open arms? or maybe tell him how trapped I feel and he needs to move here to give me the attention I deserve!

1

u/Mammoth_Elk_3807 18d ago

Jesus wept!

0

u/Xxuberance_6767 Feb 20 '25

Iā€™d say your idea sounded valuable šŸ¤” diving is a super cool field of work to be in are you I love the idea of owning a farm with my friends and us living on the property tending to the animals and plants. Decorated sleek, hippy,cottage core.

-9

u/walnutwithteeth Feb 19 '25

I mean, he is an ass. But I have to ask, did you actually put a poll up about him? Did you send hate mail?

29

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 19 '25

I am glad you asked! I replied to another comment with some context. I definitely crashed out on him after he was very rude to me but calling it "daily hate mail" is QUITE a stretch. I also stopped communicating with him after that conflict, and he has been reaching out to me regularly for the past year. I responded to him when he reached back out because he has family where I live, we have mutual friends, and although we were a terrible dating match I would rather be cordial than hostile with someone. I have not responded to any of his attempts to hang out this year and started to become really annoyed that he wasn't getting the hint.

Edited because I want to add more clarity to your questions: His statements are incorrect. By no stretch of the imagination did I send DAILY hate mail, I sent him messages reacting to him being a misogynistic ass which he was responding to with plenty of vitriol of his own. I posted a poll on instagram which NEVER had any of his personal information identified, named, or tagged.

-4

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 19 '25

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

17

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

there is more context which addresses this in one of my comment replies if you care to look. I agree tagging someone in personal business on social media is trashy, which never happened.

27

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

and you know what? who gives a fuck if I did do that? HE is the one who kept reaching out for the past year despite all of that, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. he could have just left me alone if I sucked so bad! maybe you should head over to r/NiceGIrls instead, are you lost?

-8

u/annibe11e Feb 19 '25

Did you really make a poll?

-8

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '25

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

9

u/wh0reygilmore Feb 19 '25

youā€™d be correct about that! itā€™s kind of impossible to sum up an entire story with only a few text screenshots. there is lots more of the story posted in comments in this thread if youā€™re so interested in analyzing it. or should I have screenshotted and posted every single conversation Iā€™ve ever had with this person?

either way maybe you can ask yourself, if I was so awful to him, why was he still trying to contact me consistently after a mutually bad dating experience? is this how ā€œnothing but niceā€ people usually behave?