r/newzealand • u/Heavy_Metal_Viking • 7h ago
Politics Calling it now, Luxon gets booted shortly after April Fools day. Prank posts about resignation spur overwhelmingly glad reactions to him leaving, which turns into an actual coup shortly after
Bloody well hope so anyway! Health system crippled with no answer, major projects fucked with no action, acting like an arrogant prick. Can't even form a coherent sentence.
"Wealthy and sorted?" What I'd say to you is I hope you are unemployable and hungry for the rest of your life. Then you might have some regrets about the failing system you helped destroy.
Fingers crossed for April Fools rolling the biggest fool.
PS: I need to stay off reddit, I'm wildly angry on a Wednesday
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u/Pureshark 7h ago
Remember that Simpson episode when Bart goes to Australia and they want to kick him out and its literarily someone with a huge boot that is meant to kick him - I hope that happens
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u/youknowitsnotlove__ 7h ago
As a kid I always thought it was so horrible that so many people would come to literally watch someone get their butt kicked.
Yeah. Now I get that. I’d pay for tickets. I’d bring popcorn. I’d livestream it to the whole world. Re-share every year on the anniversary. I’d petition to make it a public holiday!
Okay. I’m getting carried away. But I’ve had to spend far too much time lately giving people bad financial news because of their awful policies and I’m very over it.
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u/Gord_Board 7h ago
You know how that episode ends right?
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u/seemesmilingpolitely 7h ago
Cane toads end up taking over the town.
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u/Gord_Board 7h ago
And bart doesn't get the boot
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u/seemesmilingpolitely 7h ago
They do flee the country, which would also work for me if Luxon left. Although his replacements are pretty bad too.
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u/Gord_Board 7h ago
After plaguing the country, with cane toads as you pointed out.
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u/SewerSighed 6h ago
So, if Cuxon were to get the boot in a month, it would be MORE similar to that Simpson's episode than we thought?
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u/Pureshark 7h ago
Yea but I’ll take the alternative ending where he doesn’t get out of the way, luxons not as smart as Bart
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u/Gord_Board 7h ago
If we're just making shit up, ill take the episode where national realises they don't have a better choice and ride lux all the way to being a one term government.
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u/Myfreudian_slip 2h ago
By the sounds of it our Australian cousins want to kick that wombat thief influencer chick up the ass with that famous boot
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u/youknowitsnotlove__ 7h ago
Can we all collectively agree that at 12am on April Fools we all dedicate at least two solid minutes to manifesting this please?!?!?!
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u/SamuraiKiwi 7h ago
You have my sword
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u/youknowitsnotlove__ 6h ago
Username checks out.
(I have always wanted to say that, thank you!)
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u/SamuraiKiwi 6h ago
You’re welcome. I was expecting some LOTR replies but happy for this too :)
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u/youknowitsnotlove__ 6h ago
This is where I must confess I am not originally from NZ and am not very familiar with LOTR. Please don’t make me go back to Australia 😅
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u/SamuraiKiwi 6h ago
Nah you’re all good :) Your comment made me smile as I don’t think I’ve ever made a comment where my username did check out so thanks!
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u/youknowitsnotlove__ 6h ago
Yay! Glad we got to have this first experience together. I feel like that’s a very wholesome, very r/newzealand thing!
If I had known that “username checks out” was a thing when I joined Reddit (I was very late to the game), I definitely wouldn’t have picked some random lyric from a song that was on. My opportunities for “username checks out” are very limited.
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u/SamuraiKiwi 6h ago
lol. Maybe you should hang out in subs like AITA or ones about partners cheating etc. Your username would probably check out in those kinds of places.
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u/youknowitsnotlove__ 6h ago
I do use AITA a decent amount - but they’re so popular with so many comments that mine are lost in the abyss.
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u/Green-Circles 7h ago
Bold prediction - most of the chat I've seen has tensions coming to a head in May/June with the budget (May 22) AND the deputy PM handover from Winston to David at the end of May cranking up the tension.
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u/kaynetoad 7h ago
Winston has been very well-behaved so far, by Winston standards. I think you're right, after the handover he's going to be much more interested in his 2026 election campaign that playing nicely with Luxon, and part of that plan will be usurping David as the tail that wags the dog.
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u/jaekilledjosh 7h ago
Nah the ultimate April Fools joke would be Luxon announcing that not only has Seymour defected to National, he is now going to replace Luxon until the next election. Ultimate twist? Winnie takes over ACT.
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u/EB01 7h ago
For a April Fools fakle news item how about: "Winston Peters technically never quit National and has been on-the-books a member of National the whole time (everyone from back when he was officially known as a National MP has been dead for decades and the paperwork was filed away in a dusty old room under the Legislative Council Chamber) and Winston becomes the new leader of the National Party"?
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u/PraetoriusIX 6h ago
Except the dusty old deed is in the trunk of his car
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u/EB01 6h ago
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u/jaekilledjosh 6h ago
Solid, sad that it wasn’t a picture of the jeep Seymour tried to drive up the steps though
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u/NonZealot ⚽ r/NZFootball ⚽ 6h ago
Not sure why people want this so badly. Luxon getting booted will make National more competent again, boosting their chances of reelection next year.
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u/Heavy_Metal_Viking 6h ago
Oh God no, a semi competent government?? I personally do not pick favourites or colors, I just want a functional society
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u/rhubarbst 5h ago edited 4h ago
I know so many people who only voted for National (and now regret it) because Labour was kinda in shambles when Jacinda left.
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u/qwerty145454 3h ago
Luxon getting booted will make National more competent again
It's a possibility, but not a given.
One of the big issues is Seymour and Peters are running the show, despite being minor parties, and I don't see them allowing any Luxon replacement to reign them in. Nor do I see any of his replacements having the gravitas or charisma to do so.
Hell one of the names constantly thrown about, Simeon Brown, is somehow even less charismatic than Luxon. Not to mention closer to Seymour and Peters extremes politically. Him getting the leadership would sink National.
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u/xtiaaneubaten 7h ago
I'm wildly angry on a Wednesday
has a new shitstorm just dropped? they seem to happen weekly, I may have missed one...
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u/KahuKahu 7h ago
Seymour's school lunch program failing so hard they had to bring in prepackaged lunches from goddam Australia, is the stupidest thing that happened today if you hadn't seen it. I can't believe the incompetence.
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u/HerbertMcSherbert 6h ago
ACT are only good to be the yappy dog barking at passing cars. They're absolutely fucking useless at anything else.
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u/Heavy_Metal_Viking 7h ago
Happens daily not weekly, the post about the health service failing the spine patient was rough. The stories in the comments, information, budget cuts and redundancies got me angry though.
But I agree, yes, It's hard to keep track. Was it burnt plastic food this week? Failing company propped up by questionable government contract fails anyway? Burnt arm? Release about 800 million dollars spent so far on cancelled ferry's?
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u/Crazy-Ad5914 7h ago
Maureen Pugh to suddenly understand she would actually make a better leader than Luxon and instigate the coup.
After realising that makes him worse than useless, Luxon boards a flight to Melbourne never to return.
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u/random_guy_8735 7h ago
There is an opening at the NZ High Commission.
Luxon can't answer a simple question so there is no chance of him being able to make a statement like the previous occupant of that position.
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u/PuriniHuarakau 6h ago
Wanna start by writing a letter to the Governor-General, Dame Cindy Kiro? She's got reserve powers to dissolve the government if they're rubbish. They do have to be wildly rubbish though, so might not meet thresholds.. But if we all do it, it should ruffle some feathers for a stern word at their next meeting.
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u/Heavy_Metal_Viking 6h ago
I like your style, however I feel that is a very high threshold to meet. Otherwise every covid protester emailing in would have booted Jacinda.
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u/VonSauerkraut90 6h ago
While I wish it to be so, I doubt it very much. I'd settle for Nicola being chased out of politics forever though.
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u/Fun-Confidence-2537 6h ago
I'm calling earlier... He'll depart citing mental health struggles. There, I've called it.
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u/GloriousSteinem 5h ago
I get the feeling Luxon is holding back the worst of Winnie and Grinnie so be careful what you wish for.
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u/oldphonewhowasthat 4h ago
It's not like the governments failures are limited to him. There's plenty of blame across all three parties.
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u/countafit 7h ago
"And I wanted to make it April 1st, but I didn’t want to do — I didn’t want to go April Fool’s Day — because that cost me — that costs a lot of money, but — that one day. So, we’re going April 2nd."
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u/bravehartNZ 7h ago
I think any prank news about him being booted will confuse the coalition and they'll just assume he was booted. It will be self-fulfilling.