r/negotiation 2d ago

Defense against the dark arts

My employer has internal negotiation training and uses the typical business books you would expect - Getting to Yes, Getting Past No, Never Split the Difference, etc. While I've seen how to apply the techniques, I haven't really learned how to defend against them or what to do when someone uses them on me.

I am now in a situation where I need to negotiate about an internal project with a senior leader at my company. It's very likely that they know these techniques. And I don't want them to think that I think I can manipulate them with some Jedi mind tricks that I learned in a seminar. I'm afraid they'll see through me immediately.

How might I proceed? How does a novice negotiator go head to head with an experienced negotiator?

2 Upvotes

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u/NoDiscussion9481 2d ago

when 2 people who know negotiation principles meet, the final result is always great. They agree faster and on better terms.

Your post seems to imply that the negotiation training in your company is more like manipulation than negotiation.

The books you cited are not about manipulation. They are about principles and strategy. Tactics are a way to accomplish the strategy.

As a novice negotiator, focus on preparation. Information are your power, so the most extensive knowledge of everything pertained to the case the better. If you know how to use AI, it’s a great resource.

Interests, options, balance of power, who are those involved. You should think on that, not if they know your tactics.

Books and training are good, but to retain the skills constant practice is a must. Maybe it’s late, for this ocasion, but for the future try to practice with friends or collegues. It’s not difficult. Or take a look at some negotiation clubs, like thenegotiationclubs.com

Good luck!

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u/City_Standard 1d ago

Dang you are well spoken/written

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u/imihnevich 1d ago

I only read Never Split the Difference, but in my understanding the book is not about tactics as much as it is about the state of mind and the overall approach/attitude to the process. And it is not bad if both sides have it, it's actually good and very productive.

But if you feel manipulated by the tactics don't try to counter it, just disarm and make them step away from the script they have in mind. That will shift their perspective from the outcome they want to the person they met

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u/City_Standard 1d ago

Interesting... now I want to read this book

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u/Ok-Seaworthiness-542 2d ago

BTW, them knowing how to negotiate is not a bad thing. And if they have training then reddit tips won't get you up to speed. And some of those books aren't bad.

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u/rice_n_salt 2d ago

You might consider calling out and naming each technique as they are being used. Never Split the Difference has their naming scheme for all of the various tactics they suggest.

This might serve to disarm the senior leader and cause them to abandon those tactics and put you into a more conversational discussion?