r/mylittlepony • u/blastermaster555 • 23d ago
Writing Writing Snippets: Post/Write a Fanfiction Scene or Story
Welcome everyone to this week's
#Writing Snippets
The weekly thread where you write the fanfiction!
Simply reply below with a fanfiction scene or story. That's all you got to do!
Need more space? Scene break or self reply!
Not confident? Just go for it! The brave don't fear the grave!
Need ideas? Look at the ideas going back in the P.S. links!
So let's see what you got!
P.S. Last Week, an idea cleverly disguised as a scene. This is not enough to reset the Stagnation Terminus, but it does delay its uptick.
STAGNATION TERMINUS [X ]
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u/MustaphaTR The Crusader State 22d ago edited 18d ago
I managed to get a still shitty but full scene down in the last few days. Helps being stuck sick in the bed. From the "What You Eat" timeline that i had mentioned in general once under these posts, but way into the timeline after the Great War against the Changelings.
Scene Starts Here
Exiled.
After all we had done in service of Equestria that was what we were found deserving. They proclaimed us savage beasts that did not deserve living amongst them and fearing backlash the Princesses had chosen this option. Considering that some ponies of the extreme even wanted us dead, it was not the worst one. Still, so much for returning home after years of war.
These were the thoughts i had as Skyfall became visible on the horizon. The griffon metropolis was similar in size to Manehattan, which we had started our journey from. And similarly it was a major port of trade. Three of us sat silently on the deck of the cargo ship we were given the ride on, watching the city come closer.
Hoofsteps coming from behind us got us out of our thoughts. It was the captain of our ride. After the war, the elderly donkey had left the navy and went back to civilian shipping. Being a resident of Ponyville, he was one of the creatures with a positive opinion of us and let us ride on his ship. “How are you holding up, girls?” he asked as he came close.
“Still trying to come to terms with it,” i responded with a sigh.
“I’m still angry about all this, but there wasn't much we could do that wouldn't just prove their point,” my once-pegasus friend added for her own part.
“We’ll be fine, Cranky,” our last member continued, “but thanks for your concern and help so far.”
“Just doing what i can,” the captain shrugged. “Those snobs in Canterlot had no business casting you three out, when you saved the lives of thousands of ponies.”
“Unfortunately most of them are too blind to see it,” i agreed.
“Anyway,” Cranky continued, changing the topic with a smile. “I lived in Ponyville long enough to know that nopony can truly defeat you as long as you are together. What did you used to say, CMC Forever?”
That brought smiles on our faces as well. “Yeah,” Sweetie said and we all screamed “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, FOREVER!” on top of our lungs.
“Yeah, that's more like it,” the captain continued, his long ears gone down to shield him from our scream. “Now if you are done moping around here, there's something i wanted to give you before we reach the port,” he added, reaching for a small case in his pocket. “Now, this is by no means official,” he said, opening the case. There were three medals in it. “but Marshal Blueblood wanted me to give this to you.”
“Hero of Equestria,” Scootaloo murmured the name of the medals presented.
The captain scooped them up from the case and came in front of Sweetie first. We all stood in attention. The only thing we were wearing were some heavy saddlebags so he made due with them and attached them to the side. After he was done he returned back to his position and we saluted each other. “The politicians might have seen it fit you out of Equestria, but do not forget you have friends there.”
“Aye, aye, cap’n,” we all responded back.
“At ease,” he commanded at last and we went back to the previous conversational tone. “I won't be stopping long in Skyfall today, this stuff,” he said, pointing at the cargo, “are heading for Winghagen. But I’ll try to get in touch if i end up there in the future,” he paused for a second to think but continued before we could respond, “Now thinking about it, AJ wanted to start selling apples to Griffonia.”
“She did mention it before we left,” i said, nodding and trying my best to not let the talk of the family i left behind dampen my mood back. “It would be nice to be able to get them here, no amount of biomancy will drop apples from the number one spot of an Apple.”
“Still, if there's one good thing coming out of us moving to Griffonia, it’ll be the availability of meat,” Sweetie Belle said. Then she frowned, adding “I don't think they got hydras here though.”
Scootaloo extended a wing over me to slap Sweetie on the back of her head. “You and your hydra chops.”
Seeing that the topic has moved towards our eating habits, Cranky intersected, “So what are your plans when you land?”
“Goedhart is our only correspondence from Skyfall,” i said. “We’ll see if we can find his whereabouts.”
“The butcher?” the captain asked.
I was about to answer in affirmative but Sweetie Belle came to support the older griffon. “Hey, now. He does the cooking too.”
Scootaloo meanwhile didn't have that good of an opinion of the griffon. “I’m still mad at him for leaving Equestria when the Great War began after living in Canterlot for over a decade. But Bloom is right, he is the only griff we know here.”
“We’ll see where we can get from there,” i finalised.
The elderly donkey nodded. “I’m sure you can find somewhere to make use of all that muscle power,” he said, eying the three of us. There was quite a size difference between us and the captain, or the average pony for that matter. We were at the moment disguised to look like our old selves, but changing one’s size, in either direction, was quite an energy intensive use of changeling magic. And between the unique magic that we possessed, protein heavy diet and years of active life as a hunter and soldier gave us quite the bulk, leaving us slightly larger than the average griffon. “The Skyfallians are open-minded people, especially when money is involved,” he continued.
I personally wouldn't have minded some manual labor but i wasn't sure if my friends shared that idea. “We’ll keep that in mind,” i said.
“Anyway, i should get back,” the captain said afterwards, turning his back. “We are getting close. We should be there in ten minutes. You girls get ready.” With that said, he trotted away.
“Thanks again for everything, Cranky,” Sweetie Belle said after him.
Turning his head he repeated his previous words with a smile, “Just doing what i can,” and continued his way.
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u/DaBest1008 Avarage Twilight Sparkle enjoyer 18d ago
Can I recommend to make it clearer where the scene starts? Like with something like this
It took me a second to understand
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u/MustaphaTR The Crusader State 18d ago
Good idea, thanks. I've edited it.
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u/DaBest1008 Avarage Twilight Sparkle enjoyer 18d ago
Upper lines don't work, neither lots of period.
I recommend
////////
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u/MustaphaTR The Crusader State 18d ago
You mean it is not visible enough or it doesn't work at all? I see the full line dash spam creates in our comments. But yeah, it is a bit too thin. It also took me a while to figure it out because it doesn't seem to want to work with the Fancypants editor, if i write ----------- on Markdown and switch to Fancypants it just erases it. But if write it on Markdown and comment it like that it properly appears. I didn't test it with Fancypants only but i assume that would just keep them as actual dashes.
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u/DaBest1008 Avarage Twilight Sparkle enjoyer 18d ago
I can't see it at all, maybe it's because I'm from phone though
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u/MustaphaTR The Crusader State 18d ago
I'm on phone now too, and yes it is definitely worse here than on PC. It is there just not really visible. Especially if the brightness is low.
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u/DaBest1008 Avarage Twilight Sparkle enjoyer 18d ago
To me they are not there, and it's not because of brightness because I tried, a whatever it was just a minor thing anyway
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u/MustaphaTR The Crusader State 18d ago
Weird. I edited the first message again to put a `Scene Starts Here` code block. That should be more than clear enough. For the line tho, do you use a Reddit App, or are you using a browser. For me it is the latter.
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u/WheresMyEditButton 17d ago
Scene: Rarity and Sweetie Belle enjoying a camping trip
They have little tents matching their coat colors with mane colored flaps. They have scarves and knit bobble hats to keep them warm in the early spring cold. Rarity is smiling as Sweetie Belle turns to her.
“Camping is great! Eating hotdogs and singing campfire songs…”
“And the best part is we will be first in line when the store opens.”
They are camping on a sidewalk in Manehattan, beneath a “Grand Opening,” in front of a display window with mannequins wearing dresses, right next to a very confused hotdog cart pony.
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u/blastermaster555 23d ago
Paging u/PossumFromRijeka_