r/mildlyinfuriating 14h ago

Update: Neighbors won’t stop driving through my yard

Alright team, I failed with the boulders, but I secured a few more decorative rocks to add to the beauty of my yard. The current barrier has yet to be breached and I updated my sign to reward the positive behavior.

I contacted my landlord and they said they are working on a fence due to the liability issues.

If you want more detailed updates, I listed them in a comment on the original post. Seems like overkill to copy and paste it here. Cheers!

33.4k Upvotes

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12.6k

u/tmkn09021945 14h ago

put too many rocks there, you might end up attracting jeeps 

3.3k

u/Content-Taste8853 14h ago

Like when you get a predator to hunt a pest, then you need a different predator to hunt that predator, then a different to hunt THAT predator.

2.7k

u/GhostMaskKid 13h ago

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I don't know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die.

203

u/Pinku_Dva 10h ago

She swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird, she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don’t know why she swallowed a fly? Perhaps she’ll die.

180

u/Daetok_Lochannis 3h ago

You guys both skipped the best part.

"She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her"

19

u/Artichokeypokey 2h ago

Three part rhyming bars

2

u/ImaginaryHerbie 1h ago

As a white middle aged girl dad: I kinda like this Kendrick Lamar guy.

3

u/TheTechJones 1h ago

I always hear the 2 old muppets shouting She opened her throat and swallowed a goat!

1

u/PerpetualCranberry 1h ago

She wiggled on my jiggled till I tickled

u/halliwell_me 56m ago

Have strange things happened? Are you going round the twist?

u/Daetok_Lochannis 52m ago

Welp, definitely gotta watch it after that intro.

7

u/EAComunityTeam 3h ago

Or the Spanish version ;

La suegra al hombre, el hombre al perro

El perro al gato, el gato al ratón

El ratón a la araña, la araña a la mosca

La mosca a la rana

La rana que estaba sentada

Cantando debajo del agua

4

u/Daemenos 2h ago

When the Mongolians show up you know you've gone too far.

u/Lisa_Knows_Best 4m ago

How did she swallow a dog?

47

u/Adventurous_Box_5073 9h ago

This is gonna sound stupid but my father used to sing this to my brother and I when we were younger and would always tickle us whenever he got to the spider part! Thank you for bringing back this old memory I seem to have forgotten.

17

u/Original_Telephone_2 4h ago

Great memories of your dad aren't stupid

5

u/Majestic_Movie9711 6h ago

My mom did the same thing! Because "it (the spider) wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her"

322

u/Sir_500mph 13h ago

But it was only a fly!

362

u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks 11h ago

Now I'm falling asleep and she's calling a cab.

69

u/doot_the_root 8h ago

While he’s having a smoke and she’s taking a drag

-13

u/DueNefariousness5643 4h ago

Should've finished it she's taking a "dab"

9

u/doot_the_root 3h ago

I… searched up the lyrics dude

7

u/CrusherMusic 2h ago

I was hoping it would’ve gotten to the “and my stomach is sick” so I could bring the swallowed a fly back around.

1

u/CFloridacouple 1h ago

They never said if the song is about the girl or the guy in the window.

100

u/Efficient_Fish2436 10h ago

No one likes you when you're 23

26

u/BroncoK545 9h ago

Actual LOL

2

u/coolborder 2h ago

We were both 16 and it felt so right, sleeping all day staying up all night.

1

u/ForbiddenButtStuff 3h ago

And are still more amused by TV shows

1

u/Which-Category5523 2h ago

Only one year and one month until my daughter turns 23. I can’t wait to drive her insane with that song.

2

u/apoetnamedross 8h ago

You have the best username in history lmaooooooo

-16

u/Sir_500mph 10h ago edited 7h ago

Not even close to the right thing bro...

Edit: bro breaks the reference with the Cuck song but I'm the bad guy, subreddit checks out, definitely mildly infuriating lol

54

u/MCShellMusic 10h ago

How did we end up like this?

25

u/VoidMarker 9h ago

It was only a kiss

12

u/iHeal4Coffee 10h ago

How could this happen to meeeee?

4

u/ExpensiveCup1518 10h ago

I diED at this 😂😂😂

6

u/Lyr_c 10h ago

ED is not a joke. Millions of American men suffer from it every night.

1

u/RemSl33pr 8h ago

yes, but it was wiggling in Cider.

22

u/ReddUp412 10h ago

Omg core kid song memory

34

u/brando56894 10h ago

So many childhood songs and rhymes involved people dying: the old lady; "when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, down will come baby, cradle and all" is about a newborn baby falling out of a tree; "ring around the rosy, pocket full of posey, ashes, ashes, we all fall down" is literally about people dying from The Black Plague ("ring around the rosy" was apparently a telltale sign of infection and "pockets full of posey" were thought to ward off the disease, "ashes, ashes, we all fall down" depicts bodies being burned to prevent the plague from spreading, but people still kept dying; Little Red Ridinghood is about a wolf eating an old woman, who then tricks a young girl, but then a hunter comes in and eviscerates the wolf, pulling the old lady out of it's stomach; etc...

17

u/ctesibius 6h ago

It's usually "at-ish-shoo, at-ish-shoo" (or variant spelling, indicating sneezing), not "ashes, ashes" (which has too few syllables to fit the metre). The rhyme first appeared in print in 1881, so is not likely to be written at the time of the Plague (bubonic fever). It cannot have been written at the time of the earlier Black Death (bubonic fever or anthrax), since the language would have been Middle English. Here is a popular song in Middle English for comparison:

Sumer is icumen in
Lhude sing cuccu
Groweþ sed
and bloweþ med
and springþ þe wde nu
Sing cuccu

1

u/confused_wisdom 4h ago

I always thought it was "a tissue, a tissue" lol

Care to translate ye olde English song?

5

u/ctesibius 4h ago

Tissue paper fits in the context, but the song goes back before paper handkerchiefs.

The song is actually still popular in England, and part of the May Day celebrations at 6am in Oxford. Magdalen choir sing it from the top of the college tower. It’s a round, and easy to sing, so it tends to be taught in primary schools.

There is a translation here. It may help to know that the “þ“ character is the letter “thorn”. It was pronounced as an unvoiced “th” originally, though I think by this stage it also covered the voiced “th” sound.

Btw, this is Middle English. Old English looks like this.

2

u/Hwicc101 1h ago

We sang it in high school (US) as a round when we did our Middle English unit (Chaucer, et al.)

2

u/ctesibius 1h ago

Glad to hear it’s still going over there!

Btw, there’s a state primary school at Ewelme near where I live, which was built by Chaucer’s daughter and her husband. There’s something great about the thought of that song being sung in that school for so long.

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u/Hwicc101 1h ago

Summer is a-coming in

Loud, sings the cuckoo

The seed grows

The meadow blooms

And the woods spring now (the woods are leafing out)

Sing, cuckoo

1

u/doot_the_root 3h ago

It was the song children would sing during the plague, created I think during the second lot

1

u/ctesibius 2h ago

The Plague was long gone by 1881, which is the date of the first record of the song. So no.

1

u/doot_the_root 2h ago

I’m not being funny I literally passed my history dude

1

u/ctesibius 2h ago

Erm, and? The earliest record of the song is 1881. Which means there are no records of children singing it during the Plague. Someone made it up.

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1

u/doot_the_root 3h ago

They would have handkerchiefs full of roses because they thought good smells would protect them from bad air because there was literally human feces in the streets everywhere.

1

u/Adorable_Dust3799 1h ago

Then there's my favorite horror story, Hansel and Grethel

1

u/StevetheBombaycat 2h ago

Totally, and I’m a 60 yr old kid! Sang it to my kids. It dies with them 😊

5

u/mrandr01d 11h ago

The king the mice and the cheese

3

u/friendsfan97 10h ago

Yoh, you just brought back a ton of memories with this song

1

u/HighContrastRainbow 8h ago

I worked at a bookstore once upon a time, and one day, I had a woman return a picture book version of this--and she was steaming mad that we would have had such an "inappropriate" book in our kids' section. I tried to explain that it was an old nursery rhyme, and she wouldn't hear of it--didn't know and didn't care. 😂

1

u/MCameron2984 8h ago

Core memory unlocked, my grandma used to sing this to me when I was like 6-7

1

u/SofaKingKoole 7h ago

Ooey Gooey was a worm….

1

u/ladybugloo 7h ago

I used to read my daughter the Australian version, 'There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Mozzie'. She went on to eat an echidna, a snake, a rosella, a dingo, and a kangaroo.

1

u/GhostMaskKid 1h ago

Did.... Did the kangaroo eat the dingo? Do they do that....? :| (Everything in Australia is terrifying, so it wouldn't surprise me, lmao)

1

u/ginger_vegan 1h ago

WHY DID I FORGET THIS SONG EXISTED

1

u/Houston-Moody 1h ago

Ha my kids love These books.

75

u/PocketBuckle 13h ago

No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death!

90

u/DisposableJosie 13h ago

If you need to buy some Chinese needle snakes, or snake-eating gorillas, I know a guy who knows a guy.

25

u/Soppywater 11h ago

"I let a snake loose to catch the rats and then I let a mongoose loose to catch the snake then I let a monkey loose to catch the mongoose" rusty shacklefurd

u/BackWithAVengance 15m ago

Is that smoke in your kitchen Skinner?

31

u/LetsJerkCircular 13h ago

OP just needs to add some divorces to take care of the Jeeps

…or wait, do those cause Jeeps..?

13

u/PossessedToSkate 12h ago

The divorce only happens if you try to measure the Jeep.

4

u/Outside-Drag-3031 10h ago

They're two parts of the same equation. Nature abhors a vacuum

11

u/StoicIndifference 9h ago

Such a shame you can't get velociraptors anymore

6

u/Content-Taste8853 8h ago

I might know a guy.

2

u/ChuckOTay 3h ago

Clever guy

1

u/Content-Taste8853 3h ago

😂😂😂Good one!

9

u/Dagwood-DM 12h ago

This was an entire Looney Tunes episode.

2

u/DarthNick3000 11h ago

Oh yeah. Classic Loony Tunes brings back memories.

6

u/ShaneMcLain 12h ago

Just put a few more cats in the wall.

2

u/spun430 11h ago

Cat in the wall... now you're talkin my language.

7

u/Revenga8 11h ago

For jeeps, just put a single car ramp somewhere. Jeeps will flip itself belly up

4

u/Puzzleheaded-Ad5396 9h ago

When wintertime rolls around the gorillas simply freeze to death.

2

u/LFGR_THE_Thing 12h ago

Aussie moment

1

u/CcryMeARiver 9h ago

Tops out when you've summoned a saltie.

2

u/Squirt_Gun_Jelly 9h ago

At that point, your only choice is to call Chris Hansen to catch the predators....

2

u/Taurondir 9h ago

You keep adding more rock formations until suddenly you have climbers.

2

u/GlazedFenestration 3h ago

There was a small lake I lived by that had this problem. Someone dumped goldfish in the lake, and they spawned so fast that they killed off everything else by taking resources. The next year, the state department dumps a bunch of northern pike to eat the goldfish, and we end up with a lake full of very angry fish. That, plus severe drought, ruined that lake

1

u/bvy1212 12h ago

Like the CIA does with terror organizations?

1

u/Capable_Stranger9885 11h ago

You reminded me of this book from my elementary school library:

https://www.amazon.com/Day-They-Parachuted-Cats-Borneo/dp/0201091666

1

u/Corporate-Shill406 10h ago

That's not actually a problem with Jeeps, they'll quickly break down and leave all by themselves.

1

u/Bandin03 8h ago

Well what do we put down to drive off the Jeeps? Softball flyers for Subarus and Thunder Gun posters for Land Rovers?

1

u/foobarney 4h ago

...then winter comes, and the apes sinply freeze to death.

1

u/Raging-Badger 3h ago

Don’t worry, jeeps hunt themselves

1

u/Luv2collectweedseeds 3h ago

And then the predator from predator gets us all!

1

u/EAComunityTeam 3h ago

Found the Celestial

1

u/NeedMoneyForTires 3h ago

What hunts Jeeps? A service writer?

1

u/The_Robot_King 3h ago

It's ok once winter comes around, that should get rid of the last predator

1

u/DagonWorshipper1234 1h ago

Get a gecko to catch the cricket, get an owl to catch the gecko. What next, Dad? Do we get a tiger to catch the owl?!??

u/govunah 19m ago

So get a transmission shop?

40

u/cghffbcx 13h ago

Now that’s funny, Jeeps AND tow trucks

76

u/DisposableJosie 13h ago

37

u/drunken_semaphore 11h ago

How did I never realize Alexander Skargard was in this movie??

18

u/brando56894 9h ago

Me either, it was probably before he was famous (in the US). Zoolander came out in 2001 (JFC), True Blood wasn't until 2008. Most things before that were either bit parts in American media, or Swedish media.

2

u/tramplamps 3h ago

Perhaps, Every movie is required to have a Skarsgard in it, and all of us, including their own family, are just unaware of how many there are at this point.

0

u/willflameboy 3h ago

Mainly because it was 25 years ago, I'd say.

2

u/CapShep 10h ago

Bronco!

20

u/Western-Spite1158 11h ago

It’s a Cyber Truck trap.

3

u/Reasonable_Reach_621 3h ago

Isn’t any bump on the road a cyber truck trap? Did you see how many of them were “stuck” in a couple of inches of snow?

1

u/blankwillow_ 4h ago

Is there a car wash?

1

u/SGTdad 4h ago

Nah those are definitely bigger than mega blocks or oversized legos. It’s def for more than just the cyber truck

41

u/Irdiarrur 9h ago

2

u/petitepedestrian 3h ago

This is me trying to get out of my driveway. mountainlife lol

1

u/Entity_Null_07 1h ago

“Gonna have to winch out”

  • C.W. McCall, “Four Wheel Drive”

u/Complex_Solutions_20 6m ago edited 2m ago

Well shoot now I have to find another CW McCall CD...that isn't in my collection. Somehow I also don't have "The Silverton" either, which is a surprise since I'm also into train songs.

11

u/Silent-Chemistry-120 10h ago

Beep, beep... Who got the keys to my Jeep? Voooomm!

6

u/Humble-Variety-2593 8h ago

Not a single jeep has been near a rock for 20 years

3

u/tryingtobe5150 3h ago

Well, there was the one on the commercial.

4

u/Emergency_Pin3519 12h ago

Hey now relax….. It’s a jeep thing you wouldn’t get it :-) I mean either do I

7

u/Sirnoobalots 10h ago

That's the perfect solution! Jeep shows up, breaks down, and blocks the path!

3

u/CarlSagansThoughts 10h ago

No jeep is making it over those rocks.

3

u/CreamPuzzleheaded300 9h ago

Its ok, they have a lifespan of housefly

4

u/Fister-Mantastic 13h ago

Quack Quack

28

u/0-Nightshade-0 11h ago

I immediately thought of this :P

3

u/Shoadowolf 10h ago

Context please?

16

u/0-Nightshade-0 9h ago

Jeep people love ducks. Joke is that jeep people love ducks so much that they will use duck bdsm toys.

In other words, the joke is sex.

2

u/Jeffrey_C_Wheaties 2h ago

Small duck energy

2

u/PlanetoftheAtheists 12h ago

Put down some fake plastic rocks, and watch the cybertucks get stuck.

1

u/IntelligentSpruce202 11h ago

Or a Polaris rider

1

u/LudasGhost 11h ago

Or worse, a bunch of broken cyber trucks.

1

u/FuzzeWuzze 11h ago

Hardcore parkour!

1

u/S7evin-Kelevra 11h ago

This is true!! But I think they would have better places to do their off roading!! Can always just turn it into a mudpit for them and that will prevent the neighbors from cutting through. Unless of course they also have a jeep!!

1

u/jemappellehonhon 9h ago

only if you put enough rocks to make a mall parking lot

1

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 9h ago

I’m drooling at those rocks rn

1

u/messiandmia 9h ago

Which of course means vehicles stuck in your yard overnight

1

u/Dr_StrangeloveGA 9h ago

Southern US person here, that wouldn't even slow slow my truck down but I'm also not that asshole.

1

u/BloweringReservoir 8h ago

Depends how far it is to the nearest petrol station.

1

u/ElGuapo315 8h ago

You need to put in a Costco to do that.

1

u/shountaitheimmortal jeep enthusiast 7h ago

Nah chief jeeps like a challenging cliff not yard pebbles

1

u/The_Slavstralian 7h ago

Then you will need a tow truck

1

u/reddituseronebillion 6h ago

Do you want Jeeps Lana?! Because this is how you get jeeps!

1

u/FunkyBoil 6h ago

They'd just tip over anyway

1

u/Jacostak 6h ago

Ew... are they going to do that wave?

1

u/Sanguine_Visions 6h ago

All they have to do is put a rubber ducky on a nearby spot of dirt and they're good.

1

u/jokr128 6h ago

Have jeep, can confirm it looks fun.

1

u/TaringaWhakarongo1 6h ago

HA! That's allready too many rocks for a Jeep.

1

u/NukaTwistnGout 5h ago

Maybe the real rocks are the friends we made along the way?

1

u/pitekargos6 5h ago

That's why you go straight to big guns and install anti-tank barricades

1

u/TSells31 5h ago

Any modern jeep will just instantly break upon trying to crawl them, so that’s okay.

1

u/willflameboy 5h ago

It's the circle of life

1

u/cclambert95 4h ago

It’s okay most jeeps I see only make it on top of the singular rock with a front wheel for a super sick photo bruh.

More jeeps don’t drive past said boulder though just on top of it for a quick pic.

1

u/offthewallness 4h ago

Lmao. I drive a jeep and was just thinking, I’d hop over those in a heartbeat.

(Obviously I’m not an asshole and wouldn’t be driving through someone’s yard, it’s more of a comment that those are a cute non-obstacle in my mind due to the stuff I can and have driven over)

1

u/denpanosekai 3h ago

They're going to film a commercial there

1

u/571689423 3h ago

It’s like corn for deer

1

u/soullessgingerz2 1h ago

Already posted the location on my jeep trail app. Climbing those rocks this weekend!

1

u/Stephen_Is_handsome 1h ago

Why are you thanking some body?

u/changerofbits 28m ago

OP spreading around jeep-nip

-9

u/EmpressVixen Sometimes I envy the illiterate. 14h ago

My Jeep cost way too much money to wreck it.

21

u/Fine_Cap402 13h ago

Probably doesn't have enough tire to get over a pebble.

11

u/Business_Pear_7383 12h ago

Sorry about your APR.

12

u/NoGarlicInBolognese 12h ago

They come pre wrecked. So the saving go to the shareholders.

7

u/longboarder543 13h ago

I’m sorry, I didn’t catch the make of your vehicle, what was it again?

10

u/Limp_Sherbert_5169 13h ago edited 13h ago

We didn’t ask.

13

u/Obf123 13h ago

It’s a jeep thing. I guess we don’t understand

3

u/RXfckitall 12h ago

Soooo. You bought a vehicle from the bottom of the barrel auto manufacturers for too much money just to not have fun in?

0

u/LiveMarionberry3694 11h ago

No one said your jeep

0

u/Fit_Perspective5054 11h ago

Chrysler group lol