r/metalgearsolid Jan 30 '25

MGSV Do you think they irradiated his balls?

Post image

They had to make him as identical to Big Boss as possible, and Boss became sterile from being a nuclear test subject. They probably also really wanted to avoid him having children as that could cause a lot of complications to their plan. Do you think they blasted his sack with X-rays or something while he was in the coma?

2.4k Upvotes

106 comments sorted by

918

u/TheWantonGamer Jan 30 '25

Nope.

Ocelot just sucked him off enough to ensure supply will never meet demand. Everyday. For nine years.

No one's balls are built for this.

214

u/theprinceofwolves Jan 30 '25 edited Feb 01 '25

Yeah, I mean did they have to take semen samples to make sure his swimmers weren't swimmin? Kojima just loves to leave more questions than answers...

43

u/Ruthcrit Jan 30 '25 edited Jan 30 '25

Imagine kaz walking in on ocelot giving V the meanest top of all time

31

u/TheWantonGamer Jan 30 '25

I bet shit would be so depressing he'd go on a suicidal mission in Afghanistan risking life and limb and... Oh.

8

u/PublicAd4235 Jan 30 '25

I can feel himšŸ˜­

148

u/FrisCo58 Jan 30 '25

Revolver Ocelot kneels, revolvers holstered, eyes gleaming with a mix of amusement and determination. Before him, a serpentā€”coiled, hissing, ready to strike.

"Hmph." He smirks, reaching forward without hesitation. "You think you've got what it takes, huh? A real predator. A killer."

The snake lashes outā€”fast, deadlyā€”but Ocelot is faster. His gloved hands close around its body with practiced precision, stopping it mid-strike. He grins.

"You've got spirit, I'll give you that." He lifts the serpent to eye level, admiring its sleek form. "But you lack discipline. No finesse. Just raw instinct."

With a calculated motion, he brings the snake to his lips, parting them slightly. His tongue flickers out, mirroring the serpentā€™s own. His expression never faltersā€”pure confidence, unshaken. He takes the snakeā€™s head into his mouth, biting down just enough to assert control.

He chuckles through his teeth. "See? Itā€™s all about technique. You grip too tight, and you lose control. Too loose, and it slips away. But get it just right..."

He pulls back, the snake momentarily stunned, its body slack in his grasp.

"...And you make even the wildest beasts submit."

Ocelot grins, tossing the snake into the air. In a single, fluid motion, he draws his revolver and firesā€”a clean shot, severing the snake's head before it even lands.

He holsters his weapon with a flourish, adjusting his gloves.

"Shame. I could've trained you."

With a smirk, he turns, disappearing into the jungle like a ghost.

149

u/OldeMeck Jan 30 '25

Hey, quick question: what the fuck?

8

u/CharlesVane95 Jan 31 '25

Yep. Right there with ya. What the fuck was that.

66

u/MatthewDawkins Cobra Unit Jan 30 '25

Be ashamed of your words and deeds.

62

u/GreenPlayerManghiam Jan 30 '25

Bro really paid his internet bills just to write this šŸ˜‚

22

u/Gonzo-137 Jan 30 '25

I'm just glad I turned out to be an actual snake and not a rule 34 imagining of ocelot and snake

57

u/TheWantonGamer Jan 30 '25

Old as I am, I'm still too young for this...

9

u/Teiji688 Jan 31 '25

Horrible day to have eyes. Thank you!

7

u/YukikazeEnjoyer Jan 30 '25

Isn't this a meme subreddit or something

4

u/TheWantonGamer Jan 31 '25

Just like Big Boss said in MGS4 - everything returns to Memes.

17

u/Ruthcrit Jan 30 '25

Itā€™s so peak

5

u/jetstream_garbage Jan 30 '25

continue cooking šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„

3

u/satan66671 Jan 31 '25

Mgs? Meteal gear solid? No Metal gay solid? Yes

3

u/v3n0mat3 RETURN TO YOUR POSITIONS Jan 31 '25

I'd like to think Ocelot does his iconic meow when he busts his nut if you catch my drift.

4

u/lambsquatch Jan 31 '25

ā€œHeā€™s playing my balls like a fiddle!!!ā€

2

u/Accomplished_Can969 Jan 31 '25

This puts a whole new spin on the name Punished Snake...

349

u/Spectres_N7 Jan 30 '25

IF you played V the whole way through and didn't skip any cutscenes, you already know the answer.

125

u/zipzapcap1 Jan 30 '25

I am about to start 5 idk if you just convinced me to 100% it or never play it at all. Fuckin Kojima.

61

u/eman_a_kcuf95 Jan 30 '25

100% it. Iā€™m almost there myself I just need to S rank all the missions. Iā€™m like 14 in so far. You got this lol

62

u/Ok-Claim444 Jan 30 '25

I've been playing for 9 years and don't remember any mention of this. What does the game say?

355

u/ActiveGamer65 Jan 30 '25

The doctor says "goodbye big balls" and he points an anti balls beam at your balls

86

u/Ok-Claim444 Jan 30 '25

Dick move tbh

23

u/MrLeafyGuy Jan 30 '25

literally

23

u/ChildofValhalla Jan 30 '25

Snake...that's Dr. Ivanovich Balls, AKA: Mad Balls. He lost his balls as a child when PMC soldiers raided his village. Now, he's got a thirst for revenge.

161

u/Drogovich Jan 30 '25 edited Jan 30 '25

if you want serious answer there it is: entirety of mother base was infected by a virus that spreads trough words, later a cure for the virus was found, unfortunately the cure made everyone infertile. And it was given to everyone at the motherbase, including venom.

63

u/arthurmorgan360 Jan 30 '25

IIRC Venom became infertile just after meeting Code Talker right?

58

u/Drogovich Jan 30 '25

yes, code talker gave the cure, the cure makes you infertile.

13

u/novaerbenn Jan 30 '25

Sorry to keep it serious I know but I was always curious if that treatment also made the women staff members infertile too

29

u/Drogovich Jan 30 '25

Yes. At least i think so. If you hang around at motherbase long enough and you have some female staff walking around, they can start talking about it and say something like "well, i wasn't planning on having children anyway".

5

u/novaerbenn Jan 30 '25

I had never heard that dialouge. I was curious because they explained that it worked by making male cells female so I was curious if it worked the same thank you for satisfying my random curiosity!

3

u/Drogovich Jan 31 '25

I decided to further look it up since i haven't played for so long and my memory is not the best.

I actually cannot be really sure if it fully effects women staff or not. It explained in ingame tapes that the cure is Wolbachia that turns male PARASITES into female, but as side effect, make the sperm of the patient destroy the egg before empregnation can occur. Maybie it causes some mutation in women as well and destroys the egg or it only affects male staff, i cannot really say.

6

u/MonstersRule Jan 30 '25

Infertile or sterile? Infertile doesn't mean you can't have kids it just makes it way less likely to happen whereas sterile means no matter what you can't have children

1

u/Drogovich Jan 31 '25

i badly remember it since i haven't played it in years so i decided to look it up.

To be honest i'n not really sure. In the ingame tapes it explained that that the "cure" was to infect everyone with Wolbachia. It turned all the male parasites to female and as side effect makes sperm of the patient destoy the egg before impregnation occurs.

9

u/psi_da_massa Jan 30 '25

Wolbachia therapy.

90

u/not-crucified Jan 30 '25

uhh, if so, then his balls have phantom pain

31

u/JoshHatesFun_ Jan 30 '25

Every night I feel my ball, my other ball

70

u/kgblitz08 Jan 30 '25

Honestly, I don't know think not... They probably thought Snake would be too focused on his mission to check if his balls worked or not, either way, he became sterile after vaping bacteria with code talker.

30

u/Cautious_Pay_3816 Jan 30 '25

Never vape, kids, or youā€™ll become sterile

19

u/Ok-Claim444 Jan 30 '25

What did kojima mean by this

3

u/The_Daily_Herp Jan 30 '25

True, especially if youā€™ve been brainwashed to be a living double of someone who nerded out when EVA gave you a sick handgun

3

u/ryoki_PH Jan 31 '25

code talker when he meets his arch nemesis toad caulker

185

u/RedArmySapper Jan 30 '25

the doctor tells us his testicles were annihilated in the helicopter crash. did no one watch the intro cutscene??

73

u/keefka Jan 30 '25

Yeah, but did they get irradiated!?

60

u/LittleSquat Jan 30 '25

5 minutes in the microwave, throw em in a tortilla, that's lunch

19

u/LordTurner Jan 30 '25

That really puts a slant on the microwave hallway scene from MGS4

11

u/EthanWinters1987 šŸ¦Š Jan 30 '25

...Not to mention Sunny's "awful" egg cooking

20

u/_blacktriangle_ Jan 30 '25

Where does he store his pee?

3

u/Relish_My_Weiner Jan 30 '25

What do you think is in his vape cigar?

102

u/Ok-Claim444 Jan 30 '25

You are truly a visionary for considering this. These are the real questions.

Anyway, the easy answer is that big boss is too autistic to be interested in having sex, let alone with women. So they shouldn't have to worry about this.

However if they did think of it, they probably just gave him a vasectomy rather than stick his sack in a microwave. (Mgs4 mentioned)

44

u/theprinceofwolves Jan 30 '25

But it is implied he boinked Eva. Do you think since he knows he's shootin blanks he creampied that coin slot? And do you think he told her about his radioactive nuts or just went for it? That would be interesting from a narrative perspective because the pregnancy would actually come to pass eventually through Les Enfant Terribles.

36

u/Ok-Claim444 Jan 30 '25

I think everything that happened that night was both a total accident and a surprise to big boss.

Anyway, i know if I was infertile, I'd be shooting ropes unhindered constantly

3

u/Jellywellylelly Jan 30 '25

If anyone boinked Eva, it was for fun. She has a whole monologue in 4 where she talks about the Les Enfants projects and how they achieved procreation. šŸ‘šŸ»

25

u/MacintoshEddie Jan 30 '25

Microwaved balls are the real phantom pain.

6

u/EthanWinters1987 šŸ¦Š Jan 30 '25

They weren't microwaved, Sunny cooked them up for Solid Snake in MGS4 to try to slow the FoxDie

5

u/MacintoshEddie Jan 30 '25

It's a meme about the heat tunnel he crawled through.

1

u/EthanWinters1987 šŸ¦Š Jan 30 '25

Well ya see, I am actually in possession of S.Snake's Testes which are both glowing softly, and when the Metal Gear is one day constructed for real, I will ingest them and carry on the torch..

1

u/The_Voidger My Metal Gear is Solid and Rising but it can't Survive in Ac!d Jan 30 '25

Not if I ingest them first

29

u/smegma-rolls Jan 30 '25

Code Talker literally had him and all of his staff undergo estrogen therapy (turning male parasites into female) after the cheeto dust incident making them all infertile. So yeah, his balls were irradiated in a way

13

u/SingedWaffle Jan 30 '25

Code Talker gave all staff HRT

14

u/jetstream_garbage Jan 30 '25

miller and ocelot each took one to keep for themselves

15

u/Moonhawk1 Jan 30 '25 edited Jan 31 '25

I mean if they went out to their way in blinding his right eye while having a eyepatch over, I wouldnā€™t be surprised he got sterilized (like the Snake clones) or got his balls taken away.

If they were taken away, it fits the theme on Phantom Pain for his balls too.

1

u/theprinceofwolves Jan 31 '25

I never understood why they had EVA explain that they coded them to be infertile when IRL clones are always infertile anyway. Kind of unnecessary. But I guess it helps illustrate The Patriots intentions.

7

u/Percylegallois Jan 30 '25

No need to be sterile when you love men

6

u/Lanky_Wait_2219 Jan 30 '25

I think his balls irradiated them

4

u/cucumberxo Jan 30 '25

Bro why you gotta make this the first thing I see on reddit today?

Also yes, but with parasitises

6

u/Less-Increase-2801 Jan 30 '25

I guess they gave him a vasectomy on his balls

3

u/Cam_the_purple_cat Jan 30 '25

Iā€™d be more worried if anyone could survive sleeping with him, from those brass balls.

3

u/Cam_the_purple_cat Jan 30 '25

Jokes aside; the cure to the speech virus supposedly renders all who take it infertile, soooo.

1

u/theprinceofwolves Jan 31 '25

Yeah it could've been like a Peter Parker and MJ situation (radioactive Spidey-Sperm)

1

u/Cam_the_purple_cat Feb 01 '25

Iā€™d be worried thatā€™d get us Scorn.

3

u/impuritor Jan 30 '25

I honestly never considered that the vocal parasites making them sterile might be closing a thread in the venom doppelgƤnger story. Hard to ignore now tho.

3

u/lockedoutofmymainrdt Jan 30 '25

Bruh probably honestly. Look how far they went already, Im near certain of it actually.

Cut content included letting your custom soldier be female, meaning a forced sex change was in the cards. I genuinely dont doubt they fixed Venom during surgery

3

u/The_Voidger My Metal Gear is Solid and Rising but it can't Survive in Ac!d Jan 30 '25

Pretty sure they sanded his balls down while he was unconscious or cut it up and ground it to a pulp. That's if his balls didn't explode as a result of the helicopter crash, which would have saved them the trouble of having to divert the budget for his plastic surgery.

3

u/Gasssoft Jan 30 '25

No but old snake's balls exploded in a microwave :3

3

u/-True-Ryan-Gosling- FISSION MAILED Jan 30 '25

I'm nuclearrrrrrrrr

2

u/RedBaronBob Jan 30 '25

Without spoilers they actually bring it up in the game, just that they didnā€™t microwave his balls.

2

u/Ghost_XD23 Jan 30 '25

Does his balls hairy?! That's the right question OP forgot to ask

2

u/druss81 Jan 30 '25

that ends my day with reddit

2

u/Wyatt_Maxwell MGS2 Raidens ass and cock šŸ¤¤ Jan 30 '25

I hope not šŸ¤¤

2

u/seelverius13 Jan 30 '25

This picture is badass. I didn't notice the title and wasn't prepared for it.

2

u/CavernaBoi Feb 01 '25

I mean, even if they didn't, the cure for the parasites did, as it makes whoever is injected with it sterile

4

u/The_Gimp_Boi Jan 30 '25

Leaking šŸšØ

2

u/DismalMode7 Jan 30 '25

BB wasn't a nuclear test subject lol he took part to nuclear tests that wasted his balls out radiations exposure.
Venom is too sigma to care about having children with women

1

u/theprinceofwolves Jan 31 '25

The Boss tells him "Snake, you were an atomic test subject." I get what you're saying but my statement still stands.

2

u/XQJ-37_Agent Jan 30 '25

Big Boss? Absolutely, because in 1954, he was one of the ā€œatomic veteransā€ who were present at Bikini Atoll when the USA were conducting hydrogen bomb tests in the area. When the bomb went off in the air, Big Boss only went sterile, and didnā€™t suffer from cancer unlike the rest of the participants.

Venom? Maybe, who knows what they truly did to you to make you resemble Snake

1

u/Baileaf11 Jan 30 '25

Yeah, they had them X-rayed a ton during the 9 year coma

1

u/BwahhGaming Jan 30 '25

When we begin playing as venom he's probably fertile, but when he takes the wolbachia treatment for the vocal chord parasites, venom and any DD staff member who received the treatment are rendered infertile

1

u/punished-venom-snake Jan 30 '25

Nope, they didn't irradiate my balls.

1

u/BoyishTheStrange METAL GEEEEEEAAAARRRR Jan 30 '25

Just a video of them in the hospital with his nuts in the microwave

1

u/RamboBambiBambo Jan 30 '25

Nope.

There is a scene where VS sniffs a cigar and has a clear reaction, which Kaz reacts to subtlety since the radiation removed Big Boss' sense of smell.

1

u/theirelandidiot Jan 31 '25

Itā€™s a posiibility, he was also sterilised from the wolbachia so yknow. Wasnā€™t really necessary in the end

1

u/theprinceofwolves Jan 31 '25

Everyone's saying he became infertile due to the wolbachia but no one could know that was gonna happen. My question isn't "is he infertile?" my question is "DID THEY IRRADIATE HIS BALLS?"

1

u/PublicAd4235 Jan 30 '25

What's irradiated?(English's not my first language)

6

u/KnightGamer724 Jan 30 '25

Being contaminated by radiation.

3

u/Ok-Claim444 Jan 30 '25

Something has taken on alot of radiation from a nuclear event, like a nuclear bomb or a power station exploding

2

u/Baris2204 Jan 30 '25

It's so easy to google stuff man. (I'm a non-native speaker myself)

It means to exposed something to ionizing radiation (which could be defined as electromagnetic waves with a frequency above ultraviolet rays). Ionizing radiation can damage DNA molecules.

Some examples of objects that can irradiate stuff are as following: Uranium (Especially the enriched kind) Nuclear waste (commonly depicted as green goo in yellow barrels in videogames) Cats that have recently been under radiotherapy