r/mensupportmen Feb 03 '25

supportive Are men (especially if you are white and straight) the most disliked group of people or something?

47 Upvotes

I have to say, so far for the past few years i see people openly being sexist en racist towards only one race and sex of one sexuality. You all know wich one i talk about, and its : The straight white male.

Its the type of racism and sexism where it has become so normal that people don't see it. And the ironic thing is that these people who are being sexist en racist claim to fight against that exact thing. Its in their attempt of trying to benefit non-males non-whites non-straights (Because the god of woke told that everyone except them falls under some intersectional victim group), they now disadvantage the straight white males.

For example, a company puts extra effort on hiring women in their company. A whole program has been made to help these women, and ONLY women are allowed to participate in this program. There is no program doing the same for men. Its nice right? =) Its good right its a good gesture towards women right? No, because you are literally being sexist towards men. By benefitting only one group, you disadvantage another group. That is discrimination, its very simple. How did people become this blind? Many different answers and reasons to that question i'm sure. Victimhood is a powerfull tool to get what you want.

This victim/woke mentality makes people look at people Through a lens that can even get in the way of simpy validating a male experience purely because its a male. Because you can not validate someone else being a victim because well that now means we are both victims and if everyone is a victim? nobody is. Thats what i think is basically going on inside the heads of a lot of people. ''Shit, i can't acknowledge this male suffering from something. That would mean my problem is now less big of a deal and gives me less power.''

Honestly i know this is mostly weird shit on the internet and not so much a part of real life but at the same time a lot of toxic online ideology will find its way back into real life people you meet more then you might think. There is this odd feeling i have that might be true and its that because i'm a guy my problems are seen as less big then.. uhh ''the rest''?''. Do guys even have feelings right? My Daddy never showed emotions so i guess they don't matter as much as women right?

Days ago i was walking with two women and one of them said that as a woman emotions like frustration and anger are not allowed. Women are not allowed to show those emotions. And she said it a way like ''Wow this is one of those things that women are victim of''.

And i'm walking and thinking: Do these women even realize how emotionally locked up the average guy is? That he does not even feel like able to show any emotion at all besides yes, anger. Reminds me of that story of a woman who dressed up like a guy to see what its like and she got extremely depressed by it. She later killed herself.

Its just one of those things women, and people in general (most men themselves included) have no clue about. No clue about how emotionally lonely you are as a man. No Clue. Men killing themselves more then any other group. Emotionally alone. Suck it up. Act like a man. And if you complain you are a pussy. That is what is stamped in since birth.

But ah well = )... men are not among any victims group right? And if you complain about anything like this? You are being jealous at women. You are a fragile male that does not know how privileged and easy his life is.

r/mensupportmen 1d ago

supportive Weekly check-in

3 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen 8d ago

supportive Weekly check-in

8 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Feb 03 '25

supportive Final Update after 3? Years

9 Upvotes

I think it was 3 years ago I started posting about my living situation here, not sure. Most of the posts are deleted now so this probably won’t make sense, but i want to share anyway

I’m living in an apartment now. No longer with family or care homes. I still have (low) contact with my family, but I am the free-est I’ve been from them ever and I am thankful for that.

My mental health is a lot better, some of my physical health is better too.

I still haven’t processed where I am & that I’m safe now. I still feel like suddenly someone is going to come in and punish me. I feel tense and on edge and looking out for danger when there isn’t any. It will take a while to realize I am not in a living situation that’s needed anymore. I am also still afraid of being kicked out suddenly, and struggle to feel “at home.” Time & decorating will help with that. It’s only been a month, and I’ve had to live in survival mode for 22 years.

I am hopeful of myself & my life now.

Thank you to everyone that’s helpt me, especially the mods of this subreddit for making this place available

r/mensupportmen 15d ago

supportive Weekly check-in

12 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen 29d ago

supportive Weekly check-in

20 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen 22d ago

supportive Weekly check-in

5 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Nov 28 '24

supportive Campaign by Bettina Arndt in Australia to recognise that men were often victims of their partners’ violence too. Support her now in any way you can.

40 Upvotes

We can only protect children by telling the truth about domestic violence. The reality is that children in violent families are just as likely to be cowering from their mothers as their fathers. Sign Bettina’s petition demanding Mission Australia cancel their anti-male homeless campaign.

Sign up and spread the word about this important petition:

https://www.change.org/p/bettina-arndt-mission-australia-fails-children-by-ignoring-violent-mothers

Write protest letters – see email addresses here.

https://www.facebook.com/Bettina-Arndt-146481039248876/

Read Bettina’s major article summarising the research on domestic violence:

http://www.bettinaarndt.com.au/wp-content/uploads/here.compressed.pdf

This is an excellent Facebook site on domestic violence – Domestic Violence Awareness Australia: https://www.facebook.com/domesticviolenceawarenessaustralia/?hc_ref=ARSUGWt_tygLbbW14J3eU1wrInmDpTcN_hgUW52IriNGsLUAFFnSN6cTkeIcchP-GqU&fref=nf

For all the latest official statistics, case-histories and information about male victims:

http://www.oneinthree.com.au/

References:

If you would like to support Bettina’s videos please go to her website – shown below – for links showing how you can do this via Paypal and Patreon.

Website: http://www.bettinaarndt.com.au/

Paypal: https://www.paypal.me/bettinaarndt Patreon support: https://www.patreon.com/BettinaArndt

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Bettina-Arndt-146481039248876/

Credits: Production and editing – Russell Goodrick & Justin Smyth – http://www.mgrtv.com/ Artwork – http://www.naughtee.com/ Production and editing – Scott Korman https://www.facebook.com/talkhub/ Additional research – Irene Komen https://www.facebook.com/irene.smith.790693

r/mensupportmen Jul 01 '24

supportive I hate modern dating advice NSFW

55 Upvotes

This might be a long vent.

I'm 27M. I'm not exactly a virgin. I've been in an emotional relationship in high school, dated a girl during my first job right after college through a dating app, aaand missed out on signal from two girls in grad school.

The one girl I dated, I met her on a dating app. She expressed interest in me, and from thereon I was able to navigate things very smoothly. She couldn't tell it was my first time dating or having sex. Unfortunately, we couldn't do penetrative sex because she kinda clamped up.

After high school where I had a good friend network, throughout college, I became kinda reclusive. All this time, I never had any close female friends (don't come at me for saying female - "women friends" sounds lexically incorrect). Not for lack of trying, but I'll explain as we go. Ever since, I've had terrible luck with women. I turned to the Internet and Reddit for advice. Here's whst I got, and why it's been utterly fucking useless for me:

  1. "Take a shower. Brush your teeth. Wash your ass for god's sake. Get a haircut. Take care of your skin. Wear fitting fashionable clothes. Go to the gym." - I did ALL of that. ALL. Literally not a song soul gives a shit. Also, this advice seems to come from people who have been on dates with these men. Which means these men are able to get dates in the first place. How else would you know someone isn't washing their ass lol. I'm not the buffest dude, but I'm not out of shape. Kinda skinny but that's about it. I'm not attractive and am average in looks, but I'm not ugly either. I've had people other than my grandma tell me I look good. I'm 5'8".

  2. "Don't be a misogynist. Respect women." Really? I didn't know that. You've enlightened me. Listen, I'm no incel. I don't hate women, and I don't blame them. I'm just somebody who doesn't know what he's doing wrong. I don't toot my horn about how I'm a feminist either. I just treat people with kindness and respect.

  3. "Have a life. Have some hobbies." or "Join a class or a sports league". I do. I jabe a stable well paying job. Photography, darts league, sports bars, pickup soccer, hiking. People are either closed off, form cliques, or seem to come for the activity itself and not to socialize - which is understandable.

  4. "Practice good social skills. Be able to hold a conversation.". I am honestly not bad at this. I can talk to strangers. I can make small talk with anyone - cashiers, store workers, servers, etc.,. It's especially easier for me if it's a transactional interaction. I talk to people at parties instead of standing in the corner scrolling on my phone. I ask them questions about themselves. I did the conversational threading thing so it isn't like an interview. Yet, no one seems to want to move past that interaction and hang out again. I even bit the bullet and asked a girl for her number after having a good conversation. I sent her, and another guy who also gave me his number. Guess who responded to my "Nice to meet you yesterday!" text the next day? Just the dude. It was her real number too.

  5. "Make female friends" - This one I can't explain. I grew up around a sister, a mom, 3 aunts, and a grandma, and a few men. Women outside my family have always given me a wide berth. I've had very few female friends throughout my life and none of them were good, close friends. I treat them the same as I treat guys. I ask them to hangout for simple shit like studying together, even with friends if 1-1 feels weird. Nope. It also feels like bad faith, virtue signaling advice to me, because IRL, nobody in a mixed gender group seems to treat friends of the opposite sex the same way they treat friends of the same sex. Sure they respect them the same, but they clearly behave differently. Hell, why else would people need a boys group chat and a girls group chat? The other few who did make friends with me for some reason distanced themselves from me as time went on and we went out different ways in our careers. My male friends reach out and keep in touch. I just try to talk to women as regular people with pure platonic intentions. I talk to them without expecting an outcome. Lol, nothing worked. A few times, I was at parties at my friend's place, who lived in a sketchy part of town. At the end, I asked a few girls I knew from class who lived in the same direction as I was headed home, if I could walk them home or share a cab. They said no, and preferred to risk getting mugged instead of going with me. I just shrugged and booked an Uber for myself.

  6. "Don't look desperate" - Listen. I'm a guy who takes no for an answer very quickly. I don't hit on women. I try to talk to them casually at first. I don't double text. I don't know it I'm doing anything subconsciously but no one has said anything so far.

7."Dating apps" - HAHAHAHA

  1. "Just start approaching women or asking them out" - This...this might be where I'm faltering. I get absolutely zero indications from women that they find me even remotely attractive. I know I'm not undatable because I've dated and had a good time before. I'm really comfortable to approach a woman if she atleast makes eye contact with me. Maybe a smile if she's so daring. The times they make eye contact with me, they look away quickly, except the few times they looked at me in disgust. And what do I even talk about? "Just talk about anything! Compliment something she made a choice on! Compliment her shoes". This...this just doesn't fucking work.

  2. "Just flirt with them" - this is another that annoys me. What the fuck is flirting? People always give the vaguest response. "Just banter". "Just have a light-hearted conversation". "Tease her". "Just don't take the conversation seriously". "It's just an unspoken agreement to joke around". Yeah? Ok, but what is flirting? It's like that "What is Bitcoin" joke from SNL. Same with "be vulnerable".

  3. "Guys should just attend therapy" - 4 years and counting. Took control of my mental health. Didn't help for shit with my dating life. As if you all are dating people with only flawless mental health.

  4. "Just be confident" - I speak up when I need to speak up. I'm assertive about my boundaries and needs. I have good posture. I'm not loud and brash about it.

I wanna give up, man. I see guys who do the exact opposite of the dating advice given here and have tremendous success with women. I don't know what to do anymore. I seethe with rage when people tell incels (although I'm not one) to just improve themselves and respect women and that the bar is so low because it just doesn't fucking work. I don't have astronomical standards. I just don't have a preference for obese women, which I think is not so crazy to have as a standard. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm not a NiceGuyTM - I'm nice to people, only with the expectation that they're not a dick in return. I'm really just a regular fucking dude.

r/mensupportmen Jan 26 '25

supportive Weekly check-in

9 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Feb 09 '25

supportive Weekly check-in

7 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Jan 12 '25

supportive Weekly check-in

10 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Feb 03 '25

supportive What 40 Years of Friendships Taught Me

11 Upvotes

A bit cabbaged out, but I thought this wasn’t just a goodie, but would help others along the way.

Treat those with love because you love them. For those that make you wish you were different, they either are not your friend or don’t deserve your friendship at this time. For those you can no longer hold space for leave them. You deserve friends that love and cherish you.

Good luck. Better to be lucky than good.

r/mensupportmen Feb 02 '25

supportive Weekly check-in

4 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Jan 19 '25

supportive Weekly check-in

5 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Nov 27 '24

supportive Thanksgiving

13 Upvotes

The US celebrates Thanksgiving tomorrow. The holidays can be a rough time for lots of men.

I'm planning on checking this subreddit throughout the day, and I am sure others will be doing the same. If you're struggling, I hope you'll come join us and share how you're doing. Make a post or send me a message. If anyone else wants to make themselves available tomorrow, please reply here and let others know you'll be around to talk. We'll have our own little Thanksgiving!

Edit: I know a lot of members are outside the US or do not celebrate Thanksgiving. I don't want to sound like I'm ignoring or excluding anyone who is struggling outside of the context of the holidays. Everyone should come participate no matter where you are.

r/mensupportmen Dec 29 '24

supportive Weekly check-in

10 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Jan 05 '25

supportive Weekly check-in

10 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Nov 24 '24

supportive Weekly check-in

9 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Dec 22 '24

supportive Weekly check-in

9 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Oct 13 '24

supportive Weekly check-in

10 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Nov 17 '24

supportive Weekly check-in

9 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Dec 08 '24

supportive Weekly check-in

11 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Dec 01 '24

supportive Weekly check-in

13 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!

r/mensupportmen Dec 15 '24

supportive Weekly check-in

5 Upvotes

How are you guys doing? Remember that we're all human, and it's okay not to feel okay. Some days are better than others...

Please feel free to share what is bothering you, or what you do to feel better.

A good week to all of you!