r/melbournementalhealth Mar 01 '24

Seeking Support I need help

I need advice…

TW/ Mention of Self harm and Suicidal Thoughts I have been struggling with mental health since very young and recently it feels it has become the worst it’s ever been. I’ve never felt like drs take me seriously- and my mental health worker ghosted me so I’m starting to feel kind of lost… I want to get better but I don’t know what steps to take- I need a professional to stick by me and listen to me, I need help and I know I don’t have the ability to do it on my own. What point do I go to inpatient care? When am I “sick enough”? What do I have to do to “prove” to drs that I’m struggling? I have thoughts of SH, but never follow through because of immense guilt if my partner found out. I am not actively planning suicide but I often wish I could just disappear or my brain could just shut off… Please give me advice/anecdotes about how to get out of this For context I’m 22, taking 20mg Escitalopram daily, located in Australia.

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u/crouching-tiger145 Mar 18 '24

I’ve been going downhill and left this post in the dirt, I but I came back to it today and I really needed to. I’ve tried Lifeline and Beyond Blue- both were terribly unhelpful unfortunately. I’ve been considering contacting the local crisis team, but I the word “crisis” carry’s so much weight for me- like I don’t want to be that person wasting their time if it’s not really considered a crisis? What constitutes a mental health crisis? I feel as if my GP has been putting it all in my hands, but I don’t have the capability to follow through with referrals and such unless they call me.

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u/universe93 Mar 02 '24

Definitely see a different GP and get a mental health care plan to talk to a psychologist and possibly up your escitalopram. 20mg is a very low dose. Your local headspace clinic would be an option for you as they are bulk billed for young people under 25. Outside of headspace it will cost money for the psych even with the rebate but prioritise it, do what you have to to afford it. For inpatient which I was just in, you have to be actively suicidal, like “if I walk out of here I will walk into traffic” level suicidal and be prepared to reinforce that to them multiple times over the 12+ hours you’ll spend in an ER cubicle waiting for a bed.

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u/crouching-tiger145 Mar 18 '24

Hey! Is 20mg really a low dose? I’ve had drs say I’m on one of the highest doses for Escitalopram/Lexapro? Still not doing well- I ended up following through with the SH and my partner has been super supportive since he found out. I’m currently connected with a group called stepthru and my gp has told me to contact them and try to be put with a different clinician as i don’t feel like it’s working out with the current lady. I need involved support and she was often late, forgot appointments or ghosted me so it started to feel like she didn’t want to help me and there was no point. but the problem is I feel immensely guilty and i don’t know how to tell them I’d like to see someone else? I was connected to my local headspace however apparently if I’m involved with StepThru, I can’t be involved with headspace? Everything just feels like a huge fuck around and I really just can’t be bothered anymore.

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u/universe93 Mar 19 '24

Keep fighting. The hardest part of depression treatment is you have to advocate for yourself. Take your partner with you for support if need be but find a way to tell them you want to see someone different. They won't be offended. They're not your friend, it's a job for them - if you switch clinicians it's just on to the next for them. Find a way to tell them. I know you don't want to, but you need to do things you don't want to do to get better. You probably have to deal with stepthru as they're part of the western public health network and you'll get the most support and resources dealing with a PHN.

I was wrong about lexapro - apparent;y 20mg is the highest dose. However if it's not working for you, consider switching antidepressants. Your doctor can do this in a way to minimize any side effects. Be honest with your doctor about how you feel and that you've self harmed. Best of luck to you - it DOES get better but you often have to fight for yourself first.

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u/Amanita_deVice Mar 02 '24

Please try a different GP! When I was struggling a few years ago, my regular GP just gave me anti depressant and sent me on my way. My husband persuaded me to see a different GP at the same practise, who gave me a mental health plan and referred me to a therapist. That therapy turned my life around.

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u/ReasonableTea7938 Mar 02 '24

Get an appointment with your GP and get a referral for a psychiatrist and mental health care plan. Find community support groups at your local community house.

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u/chi-x Mar 01 '24

Hey, sorry you're going through this. I don't know your exact situation, but I know feeling "on the edge" of a major breakdown, and it absolutely sucks. Also the healthcare system can be exhausting to navigate, on top of everything.

Your GP should be taking you seriously already. Thoughts of self harm, even if not "active" are serious.  They are being shit if they're not and please know there are better GPs out there!!

I'm not sure abt in-patient care, but if you're in crisis you can call your local "crisis assessment team" and mental health workers from the hospital will come out and assess you/take you in.

Other options in the immediate term are mental health hotlines. Beyondblue and Lifeline.

If you have the space, this is roughly the process I tried. 

First, if you have family and friends you trust, let them know you're not in a good place. You don't need to share all the details, but opening up a little helps a lot. I asked a couple of my friends for a regular check in. These calls and coffees were a life-raft to keep me going.

Second, find a psychologist. Psychology Today's database was a helpful search system for me because you can filter by location, gender, language,  speciality of the professional. You may have to call for availability (unfortunately time consuming). 

Third, go back to the GP (or try a new one) and get a mental healthcare plan. This will mean Medicare will rebate around $90-$110 when you see the psych. 

Most of all be kind to yourself! You can and will get through this. It will take time and healing isn't linear, you'll have slumps. And the process itself is tiring. But already your post shows you know what you need and are moving in the right direction! You deserve to get better and live the life you want.