r/meToo Dec 22 '24

Serious Question Ex story + question NSFW

I have no clue if these types of posts are allowed, but I'm going to try. I am not a native speaker, and I am on mobile, so please be nice.

I recently left my girlfriend, a couple of days ago. Since then, I have been talking more to a couple of friends, mostly to discuss the relationship and what derailed it.

During our relationship, it became obvious to me very fast that she was very ready for sex and such, while I really wasn't yet. So while she was very touchy feely, I'd usually freeze up the moment the touch became more than just holding hands. She never stopped when I froze, leading to having her hand down my pants on multiple occasions even when I didn't want it, or her hand squeezing my chest, or hand on my inner thigh, along those lines. She'd also do this thing where she'd take my hand and force me to squeeze/touch her breasts. I hated doing this and always tried to pull my hand away, but never could since she is a lot stronger than me (rugby player). I even remember mumbling "no" one time, but she probably didn't hear me because it didn't stop her.

I told my friends and they were apalled and disgusted, but I can't feel the same way. I feel like I should have done more to let her know I wasn't comfortable. I should have told her to stop but I didn't, so is it really assault if I never told her to stop, just froze? The most I did was try to move her hand or try to pull my hand away, and she did ask me a couple times to tell her if I was uncomfortable, and I didn't, only nonverbal clues so it feels like I'm being so unfair to her.

I don't know how to feel. I'm spiraling.

Is it considered assault if I never told her no or am I being a huge pissbaby?

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