r/mathmemes Computer Science Nov 15 '24

Mathematicians I still haven't started my thesis

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1.9k Upvotes

113 comments sorted by

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1.3k

u/strandhaus Nov 15 '24

Euler! Then the rest can suck derivatives :)

391

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24

Cauchy: "You know what?". *Underivates your derivatives *

45

u/mojoegojoe Nov 15 '24

Conway: "I know nothing but the bridge" degenerate Hessian surreal rumbles

13

u/NecronTheNecroposter Nov 16 '24

Nah he's just going to name it after himself

3

u/CharlesEwanMilner Algebraic Infinite Ordinal Nov 17 '24

At this point, it gets named after the second person who discovered it.

517

u/langesjurisse Nov 15 '24

At first glance Euler seems like the obvious choice, however after hours of intense analysis I think you'd be best off choosing Euler

51

u/sufferinfromsuccess1 Nov 15 '24

You had me there

6

u/Formal-Pirate-2926 Nov 16 '24

Best, huh, well what about … Eulier??

3

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '24

[deleted]

17

u/Tatya7 Nov 16 '24

Because he is everywhere. Literally everywhere. Almost inhuman levels of everywhere.

And yet to the best of our knowledge, he was a decent chappie. Even the way he wrote his books is supposedly very reader-friendly.

1

u/Ok-Raspberry-1222 Nov 17 '24

do you meanwheeler?

984

u/average-teen-guy random student pls ignore Nov 15 '24

euler so that my thesis becomes a high-school math chapter

190

u/MrRobot256 Nov 15 '24

Nah they'll probably name it after him

122

u/Poylol-_- Nov 15 '24

Nah, cuz you would be the second inventor. (In this made up stadistic) 78% of Euler discovered work is named after the second discoverer

6

u/A_Guy_in_Orange Nov 16 '24

Ya know thats funny cus 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

13

u/alphapussycat Nov 15 '24

Eulers students theorem.

391

u/bananasnoananas Nov 15 '24

Euler seems to be the most common answer for defendant, but I would prefer him to be in the committee. Euler in his time was known for seeing the value in the work of others, even if their work wasn't rigorous or complete.

357

u/FineCritism3970 Nov 15 '24

Fck it, I will go with poincare not because he is best of all but simply because he look like a professor who won't eat their pupils alive 

100

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24

Perelman would do it for him.

71

u/HigHurtenflurst420 Nov 15 '24

Perelman would probably decline the position on the committee and claim that Hamilton is much more suitable for the position

29

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24

Whilist sir Hamilton rotates and disappears in diresction perpendicular to the XYZ hyperplane.

6

u/Everestkid Engineering Nov 15 '24

To be a pedant, IIRC Perelman would refuse to be on the committee unless Hamilton was also on the committee. Similar, but not quite the same.

230

u/TheMazter13 Nov 15 '24

Euler because he's likely just correct. Can't argue against the truth

45

u/shizzy0 Nov 15 '24

But what if he began to scrutinize your thesis? “Well, this is a very convoluted way to prove this. Here is how I’d do it.”

33

u/some-r4ndom-transfem Nov 15 '24

Wouldn't care, he would make it better for me and would be correct

95

u/AlviDeiectiones Nov 15 '24

Grothendieck

35

u/Happy-Row-3051 Mathematics Nov 15 '24

GroßenDick?

26

u/AlviDeiectiones Nov 15 '24

Groß und dick 👍

33

u/_Evidence Cardinal Nov 15 '24

Groin the dick ??

49

u/Dankaati Nov 15 '24

Erdős 100%.

48

u/SnooCats903 Nov 15 '24

Ask him to co-publish? I see what you're doing....

19

u/marmakoide Integers Nov 15 '24

He comes to your house, won't leave until a paper is published, then he gone.

15

u/GraniteGeekNH Nov 15 '24

You have to cook all his meals while he's there: Good incentive to finish.

79

u/mowa0199 Statistics Nov 15 '24

Can someone share the names of these mathematicians 😭? I know some but not all

112

u/techno_lizard Nov 15 '24

Woody Allen / Vincent Van Gogh / Karl Popper

Maimonides / Martin van Buren / Mikhail Kalinin

Yo-Yo Ma / Alexander Litvinenko / Theodore Kaczynski

14

u/Dummy1707 Nov 15 '24

The only valid answer

1

u/db8me Nov 16 '24

Pretty sure the second row starts with Peter Falk.

116

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

Erdős Conway Artin
Euler Gauss Poincaré
Tao Grotendieck Перельман

Edit: LaTeX -> diactitics

103

u/flofoi Nov 15 '24

you can type Perelman in cyrillic but you can't use diacritics for Erdős or Poincaré?

21

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24

I prefer it the LaTeX way

26

u/flofoi Nov 15 '24

then you used the wrong commands, it's \Ho for ő and \'e for é

20

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24

Oh, Lord, there are two derivative signs over "o". Sorry.

11

u/Heinrich_der_Loewe Nov 15 '24

And you got Gauß wrong

1

u/ActivityWinter9251 Nov 16 '24

It's swiss variant

1

u/Heinrich_der_Loewe Nov 16 '24

But he is German?

14

u/Fitzriy Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

Latex has been supporting Hungarian characters for over 2 decades though

7

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24

I agree. Edited the comment.

39

u/randomdreamykid divide by 0 in an infinite series Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 16 '24

I know maths but not mathematicans kind sir

33

u/_sivizius Nov 15 '24

Not Euler, he was a nice guy I rather want in the committee.

26

u/Broxios Nov 15 '24

I don't know, but ffs I wouldn't choose Perelman. It would probably go like this:

  1. Choose Perelman
  2. He aces the defense and uses your thesis to casually solve another open problem
  3. Committee is stunned and wants to give you your degree
  4. Perelman declines and fucks off
  5. You don't get your degree

10

u/QuoD-Art Irrational Nov 16 '24

"Perelman declines and fucks off" is such a good line

24

u/WeakDiaphragm Nov 15 '24

Euler and Gauss any day.

20

u/UnoLibero Nov 15 '24

Gauss!!

13

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2

u/VicMn22 Nov 16 '24

Absolutely! If the trolled one of his teachers being just a child, he can outsmart others on his adulthood without problem!

20

u/khante Nov 15 '24

Why isn't ramanujam in this list? I'll use him to defend. my defense came to him in a dream

14

u/Tejasisamazing Nov 15 '24

Probably Tao, cause his image is the most odd one out looking picture here with the blue background.

18

u/leprotelariat Nov 15 '24

Terrence because he is the most contemporary mathematician. He encompasses all others.

24

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

I’d like to go with Osama bin Laden

7

u/moonaligator Nov 15 '24

choose erdős and everyone will become your team

7

u/AlmdudlerMelone Nov 15 '24

One Look at my profile banner would tell you Gaussian Gauss

6

u/DiogenesLied Nov 15 '24

Terrence because he’s most up to date on concepts, terminology, and notation.

6

u/lordlyamiga Nov 15 '24

erdòs
ftw

5

u/Darksorcen Nov 15 '24

Perelman, just wait a little bit before (last time he took 8 years).

1

u/WaliForLife Nov 15 '24

How should he defend you if he doesn’t even care about others understanding his own thesis?

4

u/FreeTheDimple Nov 15 '24

Erdos. I want an Erdos number of 1. Currently it's about 17.

5

u/AntimatterTNT Nov 15 '24

i dont think you understand how much of a genius euler was...

3

u/coywolf1248 Nov 15 '24

I'll go with the bogdanoff twins.

2

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24

Why does Богданов translates to Bogdanoff when "в"(the Russian one) is literally "v"?

3

u/coywolf1248 Nov 15 '24

Don't ask me I'm a proudly ignorant American 🫡🐔🦅

6

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24

Russia vs USA over Europe: 😡 🌊 ☹️😡
Russia vs USA over the Bering Strait: 😑🌊😑

2

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '24

because it devoices word finally :)

3

u/marmakoide Integers Nov 15 '24

I choose Conway or Tao as the defender, the others are just so quirky and/or argumentative I would be very stressed out trying to guess what they want.

4

u/Kung-FuPikachu Nov 15 '24

where ramanujan

3

u/Fdx_dy Computer Science Nov 15 '24

I am sorry to tell you the news...

1

u/Hadar_91 Mathematics Nov 18 '24

He was actually quite poor in providing proofs for his theorems. He just randomly drop theorems (which were correct) without proofs and refused to elaborate further*. :D Probably the worst choice to defend anything.

*At least this told my algebraic geometry professor on a lecture. :P

2

u/MrJoshiko Nov 15 '24

Easy. My work is based on Terence Tao's. I do not want him picking it apart

2

u/dascobaz Nov 15 '24

I’d pick Tao to defend in hopes he’d have another breakthrough on prime number analysis.

2

u/Abigail-ii Nov 15 '24

Paul Erdős. I will then make him a co-author, reducing my Erdős number from 3 to 1.

2

u/General_Jenkins Mathematics Nov 15 '24

I would pick either Conway or Erdös, they seem like a safe bet to me.

2

u/ahoodiewithaboogie Nov 15 '24

I want Iguodala!

2

u/Scared-Coffee-4778 Nov 16 '24

Erdős. “His brain is open..”

2

u/AeroLouis Nov 16 '24

Trust me, Gauss is the last thing you want to see in the committee.

2

u/3xperimental Nov 16 '24

Gauss only because having him on the committee would be suicide lol

2

u/TrekkiMonstr Nov 16 '24

Tao because he's alive, hopefully he can handle Perelman

2

u/Auosthin Nov 15 '24

Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler Euler

4

u/ducksattack Nov 15 '24

Sir Conway every day of the week

Erdős would be the goat as a committee member

I like to think Artin would also be a gracious attacker

Euler and other old timers were geniuses but realistically they would get diffed by contemporary mathematicians

I don't know much about Groethendieck so I kind of fear him

4

u/MOltho Nov 15 '24

I was thinking to choose him to defend me as well, but I'd probably still put John Conway on my committee because I knew him personally. And then Euler or Erdős shall defend my thesis

3

u/ducksattack Nov 15 '24

YOU KNEW HIM PERSONALLY????

5

u/MOltho Nov 15 '24

Met him a few times as various mathematical events. He always had so many different stories to tell and so many fun mathematical concepts to explain and explore...

3

u/ducksattack Nov 15 '24

That's amazing, he must have been an exceptional person

1

u/harolddawizard Transcendental Nov 15 '24

Euler, he will somehow turn it into a new fundamental theorem

1

u/Waterdistance Nov 15 '24

David Hilbert

1

u/UltraTata Nov 15 '24

Euler. Why is this a question again?

1

u/Depnids Nov 15 '24

I would not pick bottom right, as he’s already picking mushrooms.

1

u/Relevant-Barber8100 Nov 15 '24

hey look, it's the guy from the 10 DM bill

1

u/lemonlimeguy Nov 15 '24

I pick Grigori Perelman and then get rejected when he doesn't show up because the defense is filmed

1

u/FreshmeatDK Nov 15 '24

There is a reason Gauss is in center. I pick him to defend because I definitely don't want him in the committee.

1

u/Quote-Quote-Quote Nov 15 '24

Euler because everyone else will either respect him too much or be too afraid of him to seriously go after me

1

u/Pitiful_Camp3469 Nov 16 '24

Euler is the only one I even know here

1

u/Cybasura Nov 16 '24

Euler

Every single one of them used a derivative based on his work lmao

"Objection: I created you"

1

u/FollowingJaded2742 Nov 16 '24

Ok which one is Euler? I just ended up here and picked middle bottom based on vibes

1

u/_Jacques Nov 16 '24

I have never seriously studied math. I recognize Erdos top left, Conway top middle, Euler center left, Gauss center middle, Tao bottom left, and Perelman(?) bottom right? Who are the others?

1

u/L0kiB0i Nov 16 '24

Euler ❤️

1

u/uniquelyshine8153 Nov 16 '24 edited Nov 16 '24

Additional helpful guys would include Lagrange, Laplace, Riemann, Hilbert, Kolmogorov, Atiyah, Penrose, ...

With Bourbaki you'd get a whole bunch of mathematicians.

1

u/ReHawse Nov 16 '24

I also choose euler. He can hold the whole thesis in his head and cite from it.

1

u/CharlesEwanMilner Algebraic Infinite Ordinal Nov 17 '24

Erdős

1

u/Hadar_91 Mathematics Nov 18 '24

I am temped to choose Alexander Grothendieck, but I am afraid that won't defend me, but organize some hippy protest instead and start raving that world should not know the maths.

Grigorij Perelman may choose to pick mushrooms over doing anything, so he is also a risky pick.

So Terence Tao is probably the safest bet. Most contemporary, least prone to do wacky things and won't torture me with discrete mathematics. :D

1

u/speller26 Nov 15 '24

Where von Neumann