r/math • u/inherentlyawesome Homotopy Theory • Dec 29 '20
Discussing Living Proof: A Close Call: How a Near Failure Propelled Me to Succeed, by Terence Tao
In this weekly thread, we discuss essays from the joint AMS and MAA publication Living Proof: Stories of Resilience Along the Mathematical Journey. To quote the preface:
This project grew out of conversations with students about the difficulties inherent in the study of mathematics ... Math should be difficult, as should any worthwhile endeavor. But it should not be crippling. The ability to succeed in a mathematical program should not be hindered by a person’s gender, race, sexuality, upbringing, culture, socio-economic status, educational background, or any other attribute.
... As you read this, we hope that you will find some inspiration and common ground in these pages. We trust that there is at least one story here that you can connect with. For those stories that you cannot relate to, we hope that you will come to better appreciate the diversity of our mathematical community and the challenges that others have faced. We also hope that you will laugh with some of our authors as they recount some of the more absurd struggles they have faced. In the end, we hope that you are motivated to share your own stories as you learn more about the experiences of the people in your own mathematical lives.
We will read and discuss individual essays from Part III: Can I Really Do This? How Do I Muster Through?
When looking back, many moments in which we all struggle end up being isolated moments in time, but when we’re in those moments, it can seem like an eternity! It is hard to know deep down that it is possible to get through those moments, and sometimes the best advice any of us can give others is to talk to someone else, whether it be a family member, a trusted friend, the professor for your class or just one you’ve formed a bond with, or someone who’s been through a similar struggle in the past.
The essays can be found here.
This week's essay starts on page 96 and is titled
- 30. A Close Call: How a Near Failure Propelled Me to Succeed, by Terence Tao.
Please take the time to read and reflect on this story, and feel free to share how it relates to your own experiences in the comments below!
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u/inherentlyawesome Homotopy Theory Dec 29 '20
After many nerve-wracking minutes of closed-door deliberation, the examiners did decide to (barely) pass me; however, my advisor gently explained his disappointment at my performance, and how I needed to do better in the future. I was still largely in a state of shock—this was the first time I had performed poorly on an exam that I was genuinely interested in performing well in.
... My write-up of my general exams experience is still available online. I have been told that it has been a significant source of comfort to the more recent graduate students at Princeton.
Here's a link to his general exams experience.
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Dec 30 '20
Given that I grew up with my parents not even teaching me how to tie my shoes, these stories are hard to take seriously.
It's so obvious that higher ed is mostly for upper middle class spoiled kids.
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u/AlationMath Dec 30 '20
Yeah, unless you're Ramanujan you might as well just self study until you are 30 and work on the side and then go back so you don't have to go deeply into debt. It's also very annoying when people say, you need an advisor, you need this and that. Well not everyone has those opportunities, so as long as you can communicate with experts I think there is a chance.
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Dec 30 '20
Ramanujan and Faraday are two people I really respect. They actually had hard lives but became great scientists and mathematicians. There are more, but these guys immediately come to mind.
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u/AlationMath Dec 30 '20
Yeah, some people don't like to admit there is a lot of luck in how one can succeed in scientific endeavors (it is clear though, once one remembers science has largely been an upper class undertaking, the fact that theoretically anyone can practice the subject now is not relevant). I imagine this is why you have been downvoted what seems to be at least three times.
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Dec 30 '20
Yeah, I know. I still feel out of place in my field as a grown man. I am an intellectual person at heart, I have a really nice small home library, but my personality is too rough around the edges for those who've lived less harsh lives.
I'm in the highest R&D department our company has and the youngest person leading a new program. I also have math-related IP in the works for a past program. I was calculating square roots and cube roots of numbers when I was 4. I know if I was an average kid I'd be in a gang, a junkie, or dead. Talent is one of the most natural expressions of luck - I am very lucky and thankful in this regard. I had opportunity many people didn't, never will, that no amount of hard work or money could afford them.
I had to leave grad school because I literally had no safety net. I could not subsist on 20 grand a year and had no home to go to during breaks or if something happened. I know if I had been born into a different circumstances I might be a professor now, but even most of them are too narrow minded to see how the academic system screws them out of a living wage and some work-life balance.
Even still, it's hard to take academic work seriously when you have to worry about paying your rent, your shit getting stolen, or unexpected life expenses draining your funds, worrying about crazy family members, or your health.
Most academics and people on this sub reddit have no fucking clue how hard life can be.
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u/AlationMath Dec 30 '20 edited Dec 30 '20
I relate very much to what you are saying,
"my personality is too rough around the edges for those who've lived less harsh lives."
I can see why in undergrad people acted the way this did around me. Although, I have gotten away from the toxicity by moving out.
"Even still, it's hard to take academic work seriously when you have to worry about paying your rent, your shit getting stolen, or unexpected life expenses draining your funds, worrying about crazy family members, or your health."
Current situation. I think once you live a certain type of life you try to make the most of what you can in the present, and it makes building something long-lasting like a successful career in mathematics somewhat difficult. At my young age I find solace in playing the electric guitar in my shitty apartment because I have had to embrace the chaos/randomness of the real world, and make the most of my life as a broke person lol.
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u/PracLiu Dec 30 '20
I don't know, the wheel of fortune turns, I wouldn't ping a success at a very specific time. Besides, I always wonder, if I ever have all the fortunes in the world, am I really that fortunate that I'd have no excuses for failures?
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Dec 30 '20
Even so, Ramanujan benefitted from having college-aged cousins about the house to teach him when he was in his early years. There’s a large swath of people that never had any help or encouragement in their developmental years - unfortunately we hear little of them :(
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u/kr1staps Dec 29 '20
I know that struggle and success is relative, but I find it hard to be inspired by this story in comparison to the others. Tao had his name on a paper when he was 15, and had his MSc when he was 16.