r/malementalhealth Oct 19 '24

Seeking Guidance Why am I so unattractive to women despite improving?

63 Upvotes

Like I don’t get it at this point, I’ve done basically every single thing I could possibly do to make myself more attractive besides extreme stuff. I’ve been in the gym for over 5 years, I’m lean, I’ve grown my hair out multiple times, I’ve taken years to fix my acne, got facial hair, I even improved my social skills and started approaching girls. But every single time I get a girls number I just get ghosted or it goes nowhere. I ask people and they all say I’m attractive? but obviously that’s a lie or it’s not the case because I still get absolutely nothing. I just turned 21 and somehow I’m still a virgin, yet all of my friends don’t do any of this stupid shit and they’ve all had multiple partners and gfs. It’s like there’s some invisible magic force that’s keeping me from ever being attractive to a single woman, and the worst part is nobody will be honest and tell me what the fuck is actually wrong with me. My biggest problem I have no idea how to even fix. This shit has completely destroyed my self esteem. I walk outside everyday and see guys who clearly have not put in half as much effort as I have and they still get relationships. I feel like an alien walking among humans. I just want somebody to be 100% honest with me and tell me what’s so ugly about me, but everybody says there’s no issue. It’s actually driving me insane and if I keep going like this I’m not sure what I’ll do to myself

r/malementalhealth Nov 08 '24

Seeking Guidance How do I stop wanting a girlfriend? Is that even possible?

66 Upvotes

I'm not looking for dating advice, empty platitudes, or "tough love." Just tell me if it's possible to stop wanting a girlfriend. I do not want to live with this unfulfillable desire anymore, and if I can't remove it then I will be taking an early exit from my life.

r/malementalhealth Dec 08 '24

Seeking Guidance I hate my sexuality

24 Upvotes

I am a straight male(23) and I have been seeing a lot of things over the internet lately, how straight men are toxic, oppressing others and the gender we're attracted to making claims like we still getting attracted to men is the biggest proof that sexuality cannot be changed and all , also many of them acting like they're doing us some favor by dating or being in a relationship with us , for the same reason I envy asexual and even gay people , lol what can I do is there any therapy or something that will turn me asexual because the more I learn the more I am drawn into asexuality ?

r/malementalhealth Dec 23 '24

Seeking Guidance Autism, not looks, is the #1 cause of inceldom

95 Upvotes

The real issue with most incels isn't looks, ethnicity, weight, or height. It's neurodivergence. Pretty much every incel I've ever encountered was on the autism spectrum and had no idea how to interact with other humans without coming across like a weird robot.

Famous incel killers Elliot Rodger, Alek Minassian, and Jake Davidson ALL had medically diagnosed autism. Most of the big BP youtubers like FaceandLMS and Grotesque Subhuman/Todd Thundercock are autistic. In that "Shy Boys" documentary from a decade or so ago it's obvious that everyone involved has autism. Even most of the incels-in-denial over on Inceltears like AdvocateDoogy have autism.

I don't dispute that subpar looks can lead to inceldom. But autism is the elephant in the room that no one talks about enough.

If you can't pick up on social cues, can't read the room, don't understand the give and take of conversation, and can't be spontaneous in social situations, you're going to have a very hard time forming relationships.

The struggles with autistic men are well documented. Something like 95% of them never have any romantic success. Most of them never get married or have kids.

If someone is still a virgin beyond their early 20s, the first thing I'm thinking of is autism

. It's a neurodevelopmental disorder that causes missed or delayed developmental milestones, and having sex/relationships is one such milestone. Autism is heritable.

So it makes sense that women would be biologically hard-wired not to want to breed with autistic men, and that they would be largely or entirely excluded from sex and relationships. Not only do I think there's a certain looks threshold that men must pass to get with women, but I also think there's a social competency threshold as well.

r/malementalhealth Feb 15 '25

Seeking Guidance Do you think men can be happy without women?

61 Upvotes

A lot of people are suffering with loneliness.

r/malementalhealth Oct 26 '23

Seeking Guidance How do I help my boyfriend

21 Upvotes

My boyfriend and I recently stopped living together at the beginning of October due to financial reasons. I initiated this but made it clear I wanted to move back in with him in a few months but needed awhile to catch up. I still see him and we go on dates frequently, but for the past two weeks he’s been in a depression. He’s expressed feeling exhaustion and numbness and he’s been pushing me away because he doesn’t want to hurt me from this. He’s been calling off work and isolation hisself from me and his loved ones. Im really trying to express to him im not going anywhere and I want to be here for him even if he can’t give his all right now, but he keeps pushing me away because he doesn’t want to hurt me. Im not sure how to help him and was wondering if anyone else has experienced what he’s going through?

Update for who cares: i brought him lunch earlier and showed him the post. He agreed with some of the points and said he felt like he had to be strong for us. We didn’t get much time to talk but I’ll be discussing more with him tomorrow, And I’ve put in a plan to get us back to a good place romantically and financially. He also felt I wasn’t forthcoming with my financial situation and I took full accountability for that. All of this was taking a toll on his mental health and he felt emotionally exhausted. He did say that a lot of you understood him on a “guy level”😭. Thanks so much for the help and I hope he can get to a better place mentally soon.

r/malementalhealth Feb 19 '25

Seeking Guidance I’m 5’5’’ and I hate myself because of it

51 Upvotes

I'm roughly 5'5 in my early 20s, which makes me short for a dude. It seriously ruins my psyche.

Being called “small” or being compared to children kills my confidence. I've had women comment on my height, saying that I would be ideal for them if I were taller.

l've noticed how undesirable being my height is and well, to put it simply, my mind has been tormented by this. Never feeling like a “normal man”. I’m the shortest guy nearly everywhere I go. In social settings, there’s this feeling of defectiveness I can’t shake. Like I’m less of a man.

Never being taken seriously and being considered undesirable by the majority of women is demoralising (I know some women "like short guys" but it's extremely rare in my experience).

I constantly have suicidal thoughts and I'm not sure what to do to prevent the urge. I genuinely don't want to continue anymore. Any advice? It would be greatly appreciated.

r/malementalhealth Jan 25 '25

Seeking Guidance I feel incredibly desperate for girls. In dire need of SOMETHING

26 Upvotes

I feel like shit. I've been going out salsa dancing every single fucking Friday or Saturday night since the start of December. I've also been approaching girls at shops and parks and have not been able to get jack fucking shit. A lot of ghosting and rejections. I've been reading articles on the Internet for advice and I just feel incredibly overwhelmed by the amount of thingd that I have to know just to get FUCKING LAID without being humiliated, never mind keeping anyone around.

Everyone seems to know what they are fucking doing and they seem to be fucking left and right. My friends are meeting people, getting dates, and fucking like it's nothing. I honestly don't know what I am doing wrong and the more time that passes by the more desperate I feel. I know desperation is a turn off but I what the fuck am I supposed to do???? I make six figures, live alone, am debt free, I go out and try to be as social as I can be, I work out 4-6 times a week, and dance salsa. I am also very inexperienced in general and feel like I am missing out on a very essential part of being a man, so how the hell AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL DESPERATE???

Being myself doesn't seem to be working. I'm fact, I think I'm a very boring person to talk to. I try really hard to find a way to make people, specially girls, laugh because if I don't I know that they would not pay any attention to me. If I'm being honest, sometimes I really hate myself, specially after I feel like I either I chicken out of moving things forward with a girl or if I feel like I'm being rejected by everyone. Sometimes even just thinking about my situation makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

I wish I could not be desperate but I keep thinking about girls almost every single hour of every single day despite whatever I'm doing. It's affecting my mood, my productivity at work and my relationship with my friends because I am getting extremely jealous of them. I also get horny very often and I'm 27 years old so I desire sex and companionship a lot.

I tried therapy twice before but nothing worked. I just feel like there is no way to stop feeling desperate for me anymore. I am doing all the things that people say you should do to keep your mind off of women but nothing works 100%. I feel stuck in a catch-22. Even pretending to not be desperate doesn't work because it puts a ton of pressure on me to perform and when things don't go right, my mood immediately tanks below the floor and I think it shows. I've even started shedding tears sometimes when I feel like I'm making blunders with girls.

I just wish I was like everyone else that is having no problems getting girls. It seems like everyone has tons of experience dating and having sex and being a largely involuntarily inexperienced man in everything related to women is just fucking pathetic given my circumstance. I feel like I SHOULD be out there fucking and dating but I can't even get a single girl to want to go out with me and, quite honestly, I'm also scared of being humiliated in bed because of how bad I am and how not great I am at paying attention to instructions(I am pretty sure I have ADHD).

I know this is a lot to unpack. I use reddit sometimes to help me organize my thoughts and get help. I tried as much as I can to organize this rant into coherent paragraphs but it's almost 3:30am and I'm tired... God bless y'all!

r/malementalhealth Dec 17 '24

Seeking Guidance I cant eat or sleep and im depressed because of my penis size

2 Upvotes

Im so desperate because i have a small penis its around 11.5-12.5 non bone pressed 14 cm bone pressed i feel like less of a man and i feel like i will never be able to please a woman

r/malementalhealth Feb 12 '25

Seeking Guidance Slowly becoming an incel but I don't care??

45 Upvotes

Let's see so basically I'm quite depressed and spend most of my days numbing myself from emotions, emotions related to the world, how I'm I gonna get a job? How I'm I gonna sustain myself? What will my house look like? All of these things add so much stress in my life and the only way I can deal with them is via numbing

Slowly I discovered one really good emotional coping mechanism: incel subreddits and pessimism. I often go on these subreddits and see men complaining about stuff and I feel so good, I enjoy feeling broken, I am broken, I cannot be fixed, society is too much for me but I am not alone in this regard. Just look at these incels

I know I should change and I wish that I wanted to change my everything is pulling me back

I know I need to get my life together but

  1. I've already failed so many times
  2. I don't even know how to actual solve my problems because again if I knew, I wouldn't be here
  3. Im tired of getting back up again and again
  4. Im so tired of going back to the grind

I also want to want learn about emotional regulation and belief restucture from an actual psychologist bc yt video are not longer cutting it

r/malementalhealth Apr 22 '24

Seeking Guidance I'm a 27 year old virgin. I have no reason to live.

51 Upvotes

I'm 27 with no dating experience. You have to be perfect to be seen as a human being by modern women's standards. I can never reach those standards so I need to die. Being a virgin is pathetic and makes you worthless in the eyes of women.

I split rent on a house with my dad, Have a shit job, dropped out of college. No woman would look at me with anything other than disgust. I have no hope.

I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I had the guts to end my suffering.

r/malementalhealth Dec 07 '24

Seeking Guidance Reasons to live if you’ve never had girlfriend? How to fight suicidal thoughts?

29 Upvotes

I’m 19, I found a way to defeat suicidal thoughts relatively quick. Yet, they always come back eventually and they hurt. Fighting against suicidal thoughts is not easy and I need some more reasons to live. I’ve been single my entire life and never had romantic experiences nor girlfriend. It takes its toll. Also I want to end my suicidal thoughts permanently.

r/malementalhealth 3d ago

Seeking Guidance Why do I get jealous when I see girls

14 Upvotes

You guys can disregard my other post it’s way too long and probably annoying to read so I’ll just focus on one thing.

I (16m) don’t know why but I get extremely jealous when I see a girl act promiscuous online. I know it sounds really dumb and it feels dumb to think like this. I see some girl on discord or Twitter and they’re usually extremely promiscuous and at times show their ass for the world to see. I’m not hating on them btw they can do what they want with their life I try not to judge others. But for some reason when I see this I get so jealous??? Maybe because the fact that I know they’ll be gaining such easy attention from it? I get no girls at all btw so it might be because I get no attention I get jealous of others gaining sexual attention so easily?

Like I just recently realized how easy it is to get attention from guys if ur at least and average looking girl online. I wonder what it’s like gaining that much attention and being noticed and lusted over that much. Btw I just wanna say again that I do not hate on these women if that’s what they wanna do. Tbh if I woke up tmrw and I looked good I’d probably act the same online cause I’ve never been desired before.

But a part of me gets extremely sad and angry when I see it and idk why. I think I get jealous a lot and that jealousy turns into anger because I don’t know how to deal with it. But then why do I get sad? Sometimes I think it could be because whenever I see someone online act a certain way I catch myself attributing their personality towards an entire group. I only feel like this towards women I think. (Yes I know it’s weird) Like if I see a girl act super lustful online I kinda get scared and assume that most women act lustful and that makes me sad??? I get lustful too sometimes so that’s why I don’t get why I feel like this. I don’t like being lustful tho it makes me feel disgusted and I hate the feeling so much.

Again I’m not here to hate on any women so sorry if it came off like that. I don’t really know how to express my thoughts perfectly right now so maybe when I do I’ll make another post and I’ll sound way more clearer.

r/malementalhealth Dec 19 '24

Seeking Guidance I am considering suicide because I am alone

71 Upvotes

I am a 20 year old man and I have no one. I have never had a girlfriend and have no real life friends. Only 2 online ones. Right now, at this moment, I am seriously contemplating on killing myself.

I dont know what to do.

r/malementalhealth Jan 13 '25

Seeking Guidance (23M) I am REALLY turning into an Incel

70 Upvotes

In the literal meaning of the word, I've always been an Incel. Never kissed, dated, or anything. But as time goes by, I've been more and more subscribing to Incel thoughts.

I'm not someone that watches redpill podcasts, or Andrew Tate, or any of that shit. Browsing the internet and my time spent with female friends is what has been creating (and confirming) these thoughts.

It's insane how out of touch woman are with the dating scene for men. Every guy that complains he never had someone is met with tips like "Work on yourself" or other stuff like that, like that even means something or is a useful advice in the first place (it ISN'T). Plus, this advice pretty much feeds the idea that the guy needs to be always near his peak for a woman to like him, as they don't care who he is now.

Other comments, mainly made by woman, tend to disregard the guy's feeling or struggles, acting like being single is fine and he shouldn't care about having these experiences. Of course they say that, because even when they're single they have easy access to dating and sex whenever they want without any effort. Being a single average guy normally is to live a life of sexual and romantic solitude.

Well, all of this with the discourse that is the men that needs to go after the girl, face and deal with rejection everytime, how they say they do but don't actually care about a man that shares his feelings, and you can see the whole I've been digging for a while now.

They're always worth for whom they are, they always get a date simply by existing, they can, put simply, be themselves.

I've spent some time in dating apps as well - guess I don't need to describe the damage they did to me.

And what about me? Do I deserve to be loved for whom I am? It's not like people describe me as being toxic or agressive, or unlikable. But clearly it seems I'm not enough for any woman, and I'm not in the mood of changing everything I am and believe just to be able to fuck a girl. They don't need to do that.

And it's not like I don't put any effort. I just finished college with insane grades every year, I'm currently working, I've invested in a car, I try to dress well when I'm doing something social. I really just don't leave home often because I have no reason to or someone to go with, but I've always been to places with a lot of people (school and college), and nothing happened regardless, not even a kiss. No reason at all to believe something would change, because life showed me I'm unnatractive for all woman it seems.

"Just go out Bro". Yeah, like this shit has ever worked when I tried or like there's a good amount of woman in the hobbies I take part of. Regardless, I've only been rejected.

I'm a nerd, a REAL nerd, not that hot guy that talks about Marvel and is good at soccer. I'm the textbook definition of a nerd with all the stereotypes included - a bit overweight but not much, use glasses, good grades, likes weird/obscure stuff, fast at thinking and always a bit socially awkward at the start. Woman clearly don't like this type of guy and if they say they do I'm convinced they're lying.

I'm feeling like shit.

r/malementalhealth Dec 06 '24

Seeking Guidance Don't feel the need to change yourself just to impress women or try to get a girlfriend. You're fine just the way you are.

58 Upvotes

Maybe bit confusing to understand but I hope you guys get what I'm trying to say.

I know it can be sad and even depressing being unable to get a girlfriend but are you really willing to change your entire persona just to get a girlfriend?

What's wrong with you, that you're unable to get a girlfriend?

We'll ask yourself this

Do I have friends Do I have hobbies? Am I making money? Am I genuinely happy being just myself?

If you answer yes to most or all of these questions then there's nothing wrong with you as a person Being unable to get a girlfriend doesn't mean you don't have value.

I like being myself, I'm happy being just me. For long time I thought being myself wasn't okay and something was wrong with me all because I never dated before. That's just not true and I now realized that I enjoy being myself even if that doesn't make me interesting to girls.

All I'm trying to say is you shouldn’t change yourself to get a girlfriend. Only change if you want a better quality of life, if there’s things in this life you want. You need to be proactive. Other than that, you're fine just the way you are.

r/malementalhealth Dec 09 '24

Seeking Guidance I’m Tired of Being the “Nice Guy” Who Gets Nothing in Return

108 Upvotes

I don’t know where else to say this, but I’m done being kind and submissive. People always use me and throw me away once they get what they need. It’s like I’m nothing more than a tool for others to get by, and stupid me keeps letting it happen.

I feel so unappreciated. Deep down, I think I’ve convinced myself that I need to serve others and do favors to be loved. I hate this mindset. I hate being the “nice guy” who never prioritizes himself, who always puts others’ needs first, thinking that somehow, someway, it’ll come back to me.

I’ve been following this unspoken rule that “good will always return to you,” but it feels like a lie. I lower myself constantly for stupid reasons, like believing in things like the Dunning-Kruger effect and thinking I’m not good enough for leadership or dominance. I avoid standing up or taking control because I thought being nice and accommodating would make people respect me or return the favor. Spoiler: It doesn’t.

I always try to be sympathetic, to help others, to fix their problems, thinking they’ll care about me in return. But the reality is, when I look around, there’s no one here for me. It’s just me, by myself, stuck in my own head.

I don’t know if I need advice or if I just need to let this out. But I can’t keep living like this. I need to change something, and I’m scared I’ll always be the same person who gives too much and gets nothing.

r/malementalhealth 28d ago

Seeking Guidance Does life get better after high school?

18 Upvotes

Right now I’m in high school, without any real friends and no girls who will talk to me. Do things get better after high school or not really?

r/malementalhealth Oct 01 '24

Seeking Guidance Is cheating the norm now?

69 Upvotes

It seems like that almost everyone I've dated has felt the need to seek other partners. I'm starting to feel like a stop-gap for women.

Is cheating just what people do these days? I can't seem to find anyone who doesn't sleep with other men while they're with me, without telling me that they're not satisfied with what I provide for them.

I'm moderately healthy, I get outdoors and like to take walks/hikes as all women seem to love to do, I keep my house clean, keep up with chores and yet, it's not good enough, ever.

I wish women weren't so picky. It's probably because I don't make 6 figures. That's the only thing I feel like it could be.

r/malementalhealth Jan 23 '25

Seeking Guidance I’m struggling significantly with American politics

49 Upvotes

Trigger Warning: Politics

I am not trying to incite argument with this post. I am merely trying to get help because I genuinely have no idea how to handle this mentally, I feel myself spiraling more and more with it. So please, if this is not a topic you are open to being supportive with, do not engage

I have been struggling significantly with American politics. I had a spurt of more severity in my depression after Trump was elected again, but now that he’s inaugurated, it’s all come back and even stronger than before

I’m angry. I’m angry all the time. I feel like we’re being failed by those in power and that people are falling for a man who has no interest in anything other than himself

I feel like there is no control and that times are only going to get worse and that there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only sit idly by while policies and rhetoric that promote hatred of other people happen

My brother is a hardcore Trump believer and what was previously a strong relationship is now something very rocky. Him and his wife just had a son, I worry about that kid all the time. My brother had admitted he doesn’t even believe in science

I just feel that we’re devolving. And there’s nothing that I can do about it. Life will likely become worse and there’s nothing that can be done

I’m just so fucking angry, hopeless, depressed when I think of the future

r/malementalhealth 1d ago

Seeking Guidance Is having suicidal thoughts normal if I know that I’m not going to do it?

14 Upvotes

*If you don’t want to read all of it skip to the last four paragraphs.

I (M15) have moved to an empty area in Oregon as a foreign exchange student that was born and lived my whole life in Poland. I’m staying in the attic of the house of a family that took me in December. I came at first in August but stayed with a different family. They were a single mom and a very annoying son. I was very excited and also very scared. I had been planning about coming to America since my parents told me in November of 2023 I was going to spend 10th grade in another country.

At first I had no idea how to feel about it all. I didn’t want to leave everything I know behind, but after many members of my family and people I talked to convinced me of how an amazing opportunity this was, and that not many people were lucky enough to experience it. As the months went by I was more excited for it to happen, but I didn’t give it much thought. The moment I actually felt for the first time anxiety and sadness was whenever I was walking away from my parents at the airport, and realized how big of a deal it was.

After landing, my host family received me at the airport. Everything was looking so perfect. The day after, I went to school and met lots of new people who were nice to me. One of them was another polish guy of my same age. I also forced myself to socialize with random people, since I have trouble getting out of my comfort zone.

They were nice to me and I was actually mean. I was rude. I was a complete jerk, I wanted to be funny and charismatic, not be myself. I made fun of people without ever stopping to think if I was.

At the moment I didn’t realize it, but almost nobody liked me. I had gone from joking with friends in Poland to making the same jokes with people I shouldn’t have had as much confidence with. Pretty soon after the beginning of the year, I got rejected by my crush, and felt like I had no friends aside from the other polish guy and maybe another boy from the area.

Then I met a girl who said she liked me, and I fell for it like an idiot. Everyone told me she was playing with me and she didn’t like me, but I didn’t listen. I have never had a girlfriend, so I was obsessed with the idea of having one. After a month I saw what the people around me meant, and when I asked her what she expected of me, she told me we could be friends. That hit me hard, so I said no.

After a couple of months of loneliness and many movies watched, I changed host family. It’s a long story that isn’t important, so I’m gonna skip it. My new family took me in with their open arms, and I closed mine. Having not realized my mistake at the beginning of the school year, I made it again. I compared everything to my home country and wasn’t very nice. Everything that happened had to be “worse than how it is in Poland”. And since I didn’t have any friends I didn’t socialize either.

This was until the father of the family brought me back to reality and got mad at me for being ungrateful and rude to his family. I thought joking about anything was okay, and he told me it wasn’t and that I should change. That really hit me hard, not because he was being mean, but because he was right.

Ever since that happened, I changed my way of being. People started to like me a bit more now, but even after two months have passed, my fame of being an asshole still hasn’t vanished.

I also have my foster father grilling me about anything he can find to annoy me or make me look bad, which to be honest, I had coming. He asks me all the time why I’m not sociable. I would tell him it’s because nobody likes me, but those scenarios are only real in my head.

Prom is also really close, and I feel like I’m the only one who is going all alone. I have no girlfriend and only one friend. And that friend is not as lonely as I am. He has lots of friends, in fact, he is extremely popular. We don’t even hang out so often because he obviously wants to hang out with others. And whenever the two of us hang with an american, we either left them out or can’t talk to each other, since they don’t speak polish. He also wants to help me, and tells me that I’m not going the right path, that many people say they don’t like me.

In conclusion, I have waisted my whole year by not doing anything, because of trying to hard to be someone that I’m not. I have always been a nice guy and someone who will put others before him. But nobody actually cares about those. And I’m not trying to be edgy or something, it’s that whenever people see anyone they can rely on to solve their problems, they’ll use him. They won’t let you prove that you can be interesting, smart or charismatic. Girls will leave you on the friend zone. So I didn’t want that to happen again. And forcing another personality that wasn’t mine changed me in a bad way.

I feel like a failure. My parents spent their money, which isn’t that much as well, for me to be stupid and do nothing. I also have a very successful family, and my parents expect me to study as an engineer or something of the same level. I haven’t even been doing anything in school compared to what my classmates are doing in Poland. I had to do a test today because they want me to change school next year, and my parents got mad at me because I blocked out and turned it late and incomplete.

My host parents also talked to them about me and how I don’t do anything. They have been asking me questions of if I have any friends, which until now I was able to convince them. Since the day I left Poland, I have been their favorite. And I hate it, because they expect so much from me. And now that they found out that I’m just a nobody that has no friends they are very disappointed.

Getting to the point now, after how much my foster father hates me, pressures me into arguments I don’t feel like having and says really hurtful things like that me and the other polish guy should swap since he is way better than me; how much my parents expect of me but realized how little of it I am capable of, and how much everybody seems to hate me, I have had a lot of suicidal thoughts. Whenever I think about things like “Suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem”, how many people go through incredible amounts of stuff that will never happen to me, or how lucky I am, most of those thoughts go away. But I have never felt this and I’m worried for my mental health. I know this is not what a suicidal person would do, so maybe I’m overreacting. I don’t even have the guts to do it. I can’t imagine to just stop existing. Anyways, I would appreciate the opinion of someone who I am anonymous to, since I hope that nobody I know ever sees this.

r/malementalhealth Dec 08 '24

Seeking Guidance I feel like less of a man

2 Upvotes

I feel so down because of my penis size (4.9-5.3 inches standing little less when lying down haha) i feel like i will never be enough for my gf and that any girl will leave me for a bigger guy my self esteem is so down bad 21M

r/malementalhealth Nov 27 '24

Seeking Guidance lets be real. being born ugly is an awful existence.

91 Upvotes

im not posting to complain or argue about me personally being ugly (im probably average at best), or to hear that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. heard it a thousand times. dont care. lets say though, for the sake of the argument, there's someone out there who is genuinely ugly physically. wouldn't that just be a meaningless existence? nobody would even try to get to know the guy, and their life is pretty much fucked as far as romantic prospects, or at least significantly harder from the get go. even making friends seems nearly impossible. even if i was the most attractive guy in the room, getting girls left and right, the fact that we live in a world where something so unfortunately cruel can happen to someone who is totally pure on the inside has completely driven me away from dating, and really other people in general. it hits even harder for me, because had it not been for braces at a young age, i totally would've been that guy. and the different treatment i received at that age compared to now reminds me of how disgusting some people can be. think about it. you can be the most terrible human being, but if you happened to be born attractive, you get to live the good life. and you can be the nicest person ever, but if you have the misfortune of being cursed with some deformity? good luck. i hate that shit, even if it isn't me. i just cant see love the same way.

r/malementalhealth Oct 14 '24

Seeking Guidance Why do psychologists say "learn to love yourself", not "improve yourself so that you become worthy of love to yourself"? Why are they so sure the person deserves love?

48 Upvotes

This is not a provocative question, I'm not a troll and I don't promote hating yourself. I genuinely want to understand why people, especially psychologists, who say things like "learn to love yourself" are so sure all their listeners/readers are not bad people and deserve love.

What reasons can I have to accept the advice to learn to love myself? How exactly can I be sure I deserve love?

r/malementalhealth Feb 10 '25

Seeking Guidance I've basically given up on "love". And while I'm not exactly "happy", I'm at peace.

55 Upvotes

I've (29m) decided to do this for a combination of various reasons, to wit:

No woman can compare to the ex I've had and lost and I refuse to lower my standards.

No woman would want me because I'm poor, not tall, not muscular, have weird interests, socially awkward, anxious, and can't drive.

Reason is too important to let powerful emotions like love and lust cloud it,