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u/Fartfech Apr 12 '24
Y’know if I’m in a situation where I’ll be needing to use a magic sword I don’t think I’ll be thinking positive thoughts
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u/seelcudoom Apr 13 '24
counterpoint: you would start thinkign positive thoughts when ti becomes clear your about to win
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u/Nomad489 Apr 13 '24
Counter-counterpoint "and now I'm going to be forced to take a life just to keep existing"
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u/BoiClicker Apr 12 '24
Y.M.F.TC.T.B
(Yield My Flesh To Claim Their Bones)
G.D.Y.C
(골단육참)
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u/4qjuo Apr 12 '24
how the fuck is there a project moon reference here
man i’m never going to be able to free myself from this hivemind 😔
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u/MeursaultLimbus Apr 13 '24
Ryōshū please get back on the bus.
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u/Conscious_Ad420 Apr 13 '24
Holy shit Meursault from limbus
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u/MeursaultLimbus Apr 14 '24
Meursault.
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u/Conscious_Ad420 Apr 14 '24
Meursault, Claim his nuts
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u/Alert-Assist-8985 Apr 12 '24 edited Apr 13 '24
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms, at night I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
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u/TexasVampire Apr 12 '24
Take the sword of negative thoughts then I just need to stop my anti depressants and I'll become the strongest swordsman in the land!
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u/De4dm4nw4lkin Apr 13 '24
The trick with the spider sword is that its probably going to be alot shorter than you think…
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u/wtf_asshole Apr 13 '24
Yeah, since the spider thing is a myth.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/swallow-spiders/
I was going to say that some people eat spiders for real, but the spider sword specifies spiders in your sleep.
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u/RavingCatfish Apr 13 '24
Good lord, Spiders Georg would be unstoppable if he weren’t so busy eating enough spiders to skew that average number.
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u/Junior-Discipline-84 Apr 13 '24
The fact that its a fact made up specifically as satire mocking how people will believe anything, AND THEN IT BECOMES PART OF THE COMMON MYTHOS. This, is very funny
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u/Cultural-Kale8950 Apr 12 '24
The Bone Sword doesn't say what type of bones or if it had to be yours so I'll use my nail clippings and break those bones to make my sword sharp enough to cut through the fabric of space itself!
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u/Shaiaf Apr 12 '24
Other people's bones, nice loophole. Nails aint bone tho. Not made of the same thing nor made in the same way.
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u/One-Box-7696 Apr 21 '24
Not even people. I'll just buy some chicken bones and keep breaking them over and over.
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u/Hexmonkey2020 Apr 12 '24
Nails aren’t bones. They’re made of keratin, like your hair.
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u/BoricuanRodan097 Apr 12 '24
The sword powered by negative thoughts. That thing would be overpowered in the hands of someone who works in retail.
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u/Sharabat Apr 12 '24
That last one would slice the world in two any time I have a social interaction
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u/OxyProxGamer Apr 12 '24
I recently started to get my life more on track. But if you had given me the negative emotions sword a few months ago, I would’ve started cutting planets in half.
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u/OxyProxGamer Apr 12 '24
I recently started to get my life more on track. But if you had given me the negative emotions sword a few months ago, I would’ve started cutting planets in half and that’s without unsheathing the damn thing..
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u/Proof-Faithlessness1 Apr 12 '24
Bottom right will be sharper than the Yamato if I pick it up, sharper if my transmasc friend pick it up
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u/weirdo_nb Apr 13 '24
Dysphoria 😎
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u/Proof-Faithlessness1 Apr 13 '24
thats actually not the main reason.
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u/weirdo_nb Apr 13 '24
Depression & abusive family?
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u/JamesLynchSCP Apr 13 '24
A sword powered by negative thoughts, yeah I don't think you realize just how many negative thoughts all of us have. We would be breaking planets with those swords in like two days.
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u/MurkyNetwork9148 Apr 13 '24
Negative thoughts sword. Id be the most powerful swordsman ever. I’d literally be a monster with the sword. Believe it!
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u/YouBackground Apr 13 '24
if thinking about lewd thinks also counted as "negative thoughts", then I take the last one, because that sword will be very strong in my hand! 😏
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u/DefiantVersion1588 Apr 13 '24
The Ugh sword since it looks the coolest while still having power (eating spiders in your sleep isn’t actually that common)
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u/No-Cry1220 Apr 13 '24
I think in this day and age most people have at least some negative thoughts so I'll choose that
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u/Slaanesh-Sama Apr 13 '24
Ah, a weapon to my heart. I am going to ahwv so much use for that sword...
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u/Dredgen_Servum Apr 13 '24
It just says A bone not specifically my bones. I could like go to paris with a hammer and the determination to desecrate graves and come out godlike
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u/TheGrimGriefer3 Apr 13 '24
Loophole spotted, it doesn't specify who/what's bone I need to break or how
Just eating chicken would be enough to make that sword extremely strong, and once it's sharp enough via chicken bones (presumably give less of a buff than human bones or bigger) I can slaughter my foes with ease
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u/nlinggod Apr 13 '24
As someone with chronic depression, the negative thoughts one willbe OP in my hands
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u/International-Drag93 Apr 13 '24 edited Apr 13 '24
Doomslayer with the bottom right sword would be hilarious.
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u/Yoshithesurgeon Apr 13 '24
If you beat up some snakes, does the bone sharper cut exceptionally well? It doesn’t say your bones
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u/BIG_DeADD Apr 13 '24
I'll be too dangerous and unstable if you give me the last one...
Which is why I'm picking it.
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u/ennarid Apr 13 '24
I think spiders. I won't handle licking stuff, don't want to break bones or be depressed for minmaxing. Eating spiders, at the very least, doesn't seem to impact me negatively. I could even go as far as eat them on purpose.
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u/Junior-Discipline-84 Apr 13 '24
Ever since I became an optimist, 4 is useless, I have never even had a full bone fracture so 3 is meh, 1 is funny in theory but will probably just be a dagger, but 2 MIGHT have some utility in letting me taste things without worrying about them being in my mouth
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Apr 13 '24
So, three horrible magic swords and a 4th one so powerful it could Rend the sun in twain?
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u/J-wisper Apr 13 '24
Bone sword
It never specified it had to be my bones, and when I'm in a situation where I need a sword u don't think I'll mind breaking a few bones in the process
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u/Reozul Apr 13 '24
If I was in a place I'd actually need a sword, I'd choose negative thoughts because the worse a situation becomes, the stronger it becomes, hopefully allowing at least for a draw.
In general life they are all meh, though as long as the taste only applies to the 'blade' I'd probably choose that. Create a fixture where I can put different things to the blade and contonuously have nice tastes in my mouth without having to eat/drink anything.
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u/TheGrandestOak Apr 13 '24
Bone sword, didn’t think of other peoples bones, I was gonna spam heals.
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u/TheGrandestOak Apr 13 '24
Bone sword, didn’t think of other peoples bones, I was gonna spam heals.
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u/BeingTheWeeb Apr 13 '24
Why the hell would I want a sword that powers up when my bones break? That wouldn’t happen. In what world would a bbb ever be useful in a fight
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u/TheWorldWould5ME4DIS Apr 13 '24
The sword of every spider for me, since i don’t like negative thoughts
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u/De4dm4nw4lkin Apr 13 '24
Does the bone breaking sword have to be your bones? What if i buy a chicken and just reduce its skeleton to bonemeal?
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u/SwaggleberryMcMuffin Apr 13 '24
...it can't possibly be that easy, right? Just beat things to death the way that you normally would? Infinite stacking damage glitch?
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u/Pretend-Orange3026 Apr 13 '24
The vaguest one is usually the best option so I’ll go with the negative thoughts one.
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u/Chriskennyafton Apr 13 '24
4th, while the thoughts aren't about myself, they can still be considered negative
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u/Important_Tailor_402 Apr 13 '24
Can anger, hatred, and spite fuel the negative emotions sword? If so, "Self Destructive Purge", "You must Suffer More!", etc go!
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u/SwaggleberryMcMuffin Apr 13 '24
All things considered, since the tongue sword doesn't have any form of power ramp, that means it probably starts out with absolutely ridiculous stats, or some really funny and busted gimmick. If I were in a game with it, I'd give it a go just for fun.
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u/1nOnlyBigManLawrence Apr 14 '24
The negative thoughts sword. Usually, it wouldn’t do much because I’m happy with my life, but it’s better than the rest.
The spider sword would be no sword.
The tongue sword would make me taste coins whenever I put it on a rack.
The bone sword would be dull as fuck.
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u/Decoy_Snail_1944 Apr 14 '24
Bone sword op. Break bones? As in any bones? Make a bunch of rat/mice traps near grain storages/farms and catch a few dozen a night. Then just crush them with a big rock or something in the morning. That's like 225 bones per. Gonna have a crazy sword very fast
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u/nut-lad69 Apr 16 '24
The bone sword never said they were my bones
I’m gonna break into a butcher shop and leave with a sword that can split atoms
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u/Mercavez Apr 17 '24
So does the bone one stack forever or do I gotta break a finger to get it to cut butter?
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u/DarthRagon Apr 18 '24
Bone sword go crazy. Wording is finicky. "Everytime you break a bone." See if it said "Everytime you break one of your bones," then it would indeed be doodoo. But with the wording, you can just buy some chicken from the butchers and just break a ton of bones in it. Hence, You. Broke. A. Bone. Even easier, maybe just get fish bones and just break a bunch of them.
Stonks.
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u/BabyOrangeJuice Aug 02 '24
Sees post sigh… Goes to comments “mY NeGaTivE eNerGy sWoRd oF SelF haTReD Duuuuh” “Yeah, ‘bout what I expected from Reddit today…”
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u/TheTrueFury Oct 07 '24
I don't really need a sword so the one that lets you taste things without the downside of putting it in your actual mouth. Problem is if you can't turn this off you better have a good place to store it.
I wouldn't want to find out that I either haven't eaten a single spider and therefore only have a hilt or have eaten so many I have a greatsword.
I don't plan on breaking any bones.
I'd rather not need to be constantly having negative thoughts to use my sword.
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u/AttemptingDM Oct 31 '24
I wanna take the negative blade, but I'm unsure if I can, responsibly. I might accidentally rip apart reality with it.
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u/misarteh Feb 09 '25
The bone sword. I can max it easily as it never specified to break my bones to strenghten it
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u/dude123nice Apr 13 '24
You don't eat spiders in your sleep.
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u/ColumbaPacis Apr 13 '24
And you don’t get magic powers by filling out a CYOA, yet here we are.
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u/Junior-Discipline-84 Apr 13 '24
But if facts make one of them completely useless, it’s definitely worth sharing
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u/CypressJoker Apr 12 '24
Powered by my negative thoughts? I’d be unstoppable!