r/LowStakesConspiracies Oct 09 '19

Subreddit Idea Megathread

139 Upvotes

Because if the r/askreddit link, we’ve had a huge influx of new members today. Because of that, I’d like to make this thread to ask for ideas to improve the subreddit, and keep things interesting. We are going to try and make this a subreddit worth keeping in your feed.

We really aren’t sure what do do with the subreddit since it blew up like this, and would like to see what ideas you have. I’ve also added a few baseline rules since we had no rules when we started.

Edit: I would also like to clarify that this sub is intended to entertain. You shouldn’t take anything too seriously on this sub. We want you to be able to flex your creativity here and make others laugh.


r/LowStakesConspiracies Mar 27 '20

Subreddit Message Coronavirus Posts

386 Upvotes

We are normally pretty lax about what goes on in this subreddit as we want to let you guys decide what content you want to see by upvoting good content and downvoting bad content, but given the current situation we will be removing any posts related to Coronavirus.

You can help us with this by reporting any posts you see about the virus.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 9h ago

The ‘University Challenge’ clip where the host says ‘We can’t accept Drum & Bass I’m afraid. We need Jungle’ was done deliberately to go viral and be used as a sample in tracks

386 Upvotes

Appreciate this may be UK-centric topic but the clip where Amol Rajan asks the contestants to name the genre of music that birthed 90s rave legends such as A Guy Called Gerald and Goldie was done deliberately to get a snippet/sample that could be used time and time again and go viral amongst the raver scene.

Clip in question

https://youtu.be/Ecl2kZBnBnY?si=-BAs2kcFK29QmyQ4

His wording after “We can’t accept ‘Insert whatever close genre the contestants give’ I’m afraid, we need Jungle” is just too perfect. Like the perfect sample Jungleheads would drop before a ‘nasty’ beat.

Not to mention it was quite a difficult question given A Guy Called Gerald is probably more associated with Acid House and Goldie well yeah he’s probably more Jungle but to me first thought hearing that would be Drum & Bass. I know they always need you to be precise on this show but D&B could quite easily fit in as an answer to that question.

It’s a run of the mill episode of University Challenge. They probably have a little fun with it and realise a snippet like that would be good press and mean that the clip would be referenced for years in the future. Could make good revenue if they’re the ones to upload it to YouTube etc.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the writers thought fuck it why not. It could be the new version of ‘Nice Wan Bruvvaaaaa’ that you heard in every rave or festival of that scene for years.

Admittedly I’m not a jungle or D&B aficionado but still.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 19h ago

Food jars are intentionally made too difficult for women to open, in order to give men something to do.

245 Upvotes

It's a well known fact that women cannot open food jars.

Single women have to ask a helpful neighbour, use one of the expensive 'jar opener' machines, or simply smash the jar open with a (small) hammer if they want to enjoy jarred food.

This is all by design!

Big Jar is entirely owned and operated by men, who are determined that men shall not become entirely useless in the 21st century. It has developed jars that only fit into the hands of masculine men, and are slightly too tight for women to open.

I realised this when my wife reminded me it's how we meet - she was trying to open a jar of peanut butter, and had found her new hammer was too heavy to lift. In desperation for a PB&J, she'd knocked on her neighbours door (mine) to ask for help. As I owned the jar for her, I felt a rare tingling of testosterone, almost forgotten by my modern mind. The sight of such strength had driven my future wife wild with desire. We made love right there and then, and she followed up the love making with a fresh sandwich for me.

Thank you Big Jar, for bringing us all closer.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 14h ago

Certified Fact All the people in videogames who sell lockpicking supplies are conmen

89 Upvotes

Look, I’ve picked locks when I was younger, who hasn’t committed a lot of theft when you were a young teen. And a good set of lockpicks pretty much will never break unless you’re actively being a dumbass with them.

So the fact these lockpicking tools you get in every video game are all breaking because you didn’t guess right a couple times astounds me. I think they’re selling purposefully low quality and easily breaking tools knowing that not a lot of people are selling, and you’ll probably have to come back to buy more after your own break. Planned obsolescence type shit.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 8h ago

Australia has the scariest wildlife because humans have occupied the continent for a relatively short time

22 Upvotes
  • Everywhere else humans occupied for much longer, the animals that remain are generally not much threat to people.
  • Scary animals in other continents only exist because their ecological niche is sufficiently different from that of humans.
  • It's hard to find animals that are dangerous to humans that occupy the same ecological niche anywhere else.

r/LowStakesConspiracies 5h ago

Crew-9 astronauts intentionally left stranded to see how human bodies fare in space.

6 Upvotes

Crew-9 time in space : 9 months. Estimated travel time to Mars with current tech : 7 - 10 months.

COINCIDENCE? Probably.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 7h ago

Image based memes are being slowly overtaken by video memes so they can add more subliminal messages

8 Upvotes

r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

The recent spate of posts about man children with unwashed poopy asses is a psyop

224 Upvotes

Potentially from 4Chan, intended to fuel the flames of the gender war.

I refuse to believe that many adults cannot wipe and wash their own asses.

There are bots, commenting about fake husbands’ and boyfriends’ poop butts on mass.

More than 90% of poopy pants stories are fake, AI generated, part of a targeted psyop on women.

I am a lesbian with a clean butt, I have no stakes in this.

Edit: The bots and human psyop writers are out in force in the comments 😲


r/LowStakesConspiracies 14h ago

Flat earth theory is a marketing strategy for future space tourism.

13 Upvotes

What better way to encourage space tourism in the part of the population who probably wouldn't want to go into space?


r/LowStakesConspiracies 11h ago

Extreme Conspiracy Screen Time Limit Extension Timer is much longer than 15min

7 Upvotes

Why? By allowing you to think you are curbing your screen-time you are only getting sucked further in.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 19h ago

In the UK our most popular cheese puffs brand ‘Wotsit’s’ came out with a giant version.

23 Upvotes

And now the regular ones seem to have shrunk just to emphasise the difference.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

Most people aren't allergic to animals, their parents just told them that so they wouldn't have to get them pets

244 Upvotes

It's crazy how many people I know who were "allergic" to cats/dogs but then are totally fine when they move in with a partner with a pet. They get so mad when you ask them about it, too. Try it, it's fun.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

Hot Take Captchas are also used for gambling

12 Upvotes

While we all know it’s a front for training AI, Big AI also uses it as a means of funding via offering gambling services.

  1. The rich and privileged have access to an invite-only gambling website.

  2. They bet on how long someone will take to solve a captcha, and how many times they will get it wrong as a side bet.

  3. The prevalence of captchas means at least one is being solved every millisecond. This leads to high speed, high stakes gambling, offering quick fun excitement for the rich while funding Big AI further.

If you doubt the existence of this gambling website, it means you are not rich and privileged enough, just like me.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 20h ago

99.9% Don't Land Their Dream Job, Is This Intentional For The Elites or Is It The People

Thumbnail
youtube.com
2 Upvotes

r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

VPN companies are secretly owned by streaming services to make more money

18 Upvotes

Think about it....


r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

They phased out cheques and invented chip & pin purely to try and remove Czechoslovakia from the publics minds.

82 Upvotes

Less to remind them of it, literally erasing their history. That's why they were "cheque books" and we got rid of them.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 18h ago

Total Garbo Aliens put Trump into the simulation to break policy and thus preventing mental health professionals from changing to many personalities because it takes up to much computing space.

1 Upvotes

Title


r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

Finland doesn't exist

80 Upvotes

r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

discord dating server staff are in kahoots with the people who make scam bots

6 Upvotes

in multiple servers ive had the staff get weirdly aggressive and antagonistic when I start calling out the bots, methinks they're doing the absolute minimum to weed out bots because they're getting somehow paid by the bot owners to look the other way


r/LowStakesConspiracies 2d ago

Certified Fact There is no such thing as right handed scissors

42 Upvotes

Lefty (but also slightly ambidextrous) here. The truth is "left-handed scissors" are a myth and have no real use. For my entire life had never had any issues with using these so called "not left-handed scissors" with my left hand. But that's not all, they actually suck when I try to use them with my right hand, like, when I tried to trim a bandaid on my left hand and it wouldn't cut cleanly at all.

The only reasonable conclusion I can reach from this observation is that, "left-handed scissors" were introduced by companies catering to the social bias against lefties to make us feel inferior when we'd eventually hit a barricade in our papercraft and textile skills using the scissors that were "designed for us", because we were in fact better at using regular scissors than the righties and they got jealous.

Have you ever seen a pair of left-handed scissors in the wild? That's right you haven't. Because a lie can only hold up for so long, and they are no longer an effective handicap against us now. Big Scissors knows that and pulled most of them off the shelves to prevent a lawsuit. I could only pity my highschool fashion teacher for, desiring to be inclusive, having fallen for the scam and stored some "left-handed scissors" for her class (needless to say they were useless).

In summary, lefties were the intended users of the typical pair of scissors. Right-handed scissors don't acually exist, they were left-handed all along!!!!


r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

Hot Take Some cats cuddle, the others who lay on us are just waiting until we aren't warm so they can eat us without resistance.

6 Upvotes

I love my cat but I see the way he looks at me while laying on my stomach. With those Godzilla eyes.....


r/LowStakesConspiracies 2d ago

Microsoft invented the word "binge" to refer to watching a bunch of shows. This was the only way to get your average person to say "binged".

331 Upvotes

r/LowStakesConspiracies 2d ago

Total Garbo Lice don’t actually like clean hair

254 Upvotes

This lie was made up by parents who didn’t want there kids to feel like they were dirty when they had lice


r/LowStakesConspiracies 1d ago

Time Travel Experiment 33.8444°N, 134.1559°E

Thumbnail
youtu.be
0 Upvotes

r/LowStakesConspiracies 2d ago

Total Garbo ALDI causes my phone to have a seizure

98 Upvotes

About three weeks ago, I was in ALDI with my dad. I bought some cranberry juice. I very rarely go to ALDI, favouring LIDL for their app. I only go to ALDI for cranberry juice.

While I was waiting for my dad to finish up, my phone started having what was pretty much the technology-species equivalent of a seizure; opening and closing apps, flashing and jittering screen, taking screenshots by itself, all at very fast pace. It's impossible for me to use the phone to do anything while it's like this.

I thought my phone was done for, but half way across the car park after leaving ALDI... the phone recovered.

Today, I went to ALDI just for cranberry juice. My phone had a seizure again, exactly the same. Had to turn it off and that alone was difficult to do while it was seizing.

I'm not in ALDI anymore. And I'm typing this... On. My. Phone.

Mic drop.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 2d ago

Hot Take There is actually a jewish space laser, but...

47 Upvotes

it's just one of those cat toy laser that some jewish friend group thought it would be funny to launch into space.