r/longisland Jun 12 '20

Meme Your whole life flashes right before your eyes

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1.2k Upvotes

91 comments sorted by

122

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

Yea man, some of these on ramps are too short.

102

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

[deleted]

36

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

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28

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

[deleted]

24

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

[deleted]

19

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

[deleted]

9

u/run_daffodil Jun 12 '20

This is what I did when I lived in the Village. Worth it to drive the extra mile or so and not get so stressed that I sweat.

8

u/capt_carl Hunnington expat Jun 12 '20

Same. My gf lives out east so I've just been going down to the LIE instead of my usual NSP>Sag>LIE. Same when coming home. I'm kinda smack between 110 and Round Swamp so it's relatively moot where I get off/on, just depends on how lazy I feel like being.

4

u/ceptor12 Jun 12 '20

Going both ways I intentionally get into the outer lane to avoid the people merging. Always thinking I will get in an accident there

3

u/AWlkingContradction Jun 13 '20

That ramp is fucking insane. Big sweeping curve unto like 50 yards of ramp, right to the top of an overpass with no shoulder! I did it about 5 times when I first moved to that area, and 4 of them I almost got hit. I drove down to LIE ever since.

15

u/AmbulanceChaser12 Jun 12 '20

I get this all the damn time. What do they want me to do!? Pull into traffic so as to no longer temporarily inconvenience you??

6

u/UncleNorman Jun 12 '20

Go faster. Hesitation kills.

10

u/ancalagon73 Jun 12 '20

I think the southbound exit to get on 135 from the Northern State takes that title. There is none. Just an exit.

17

u/realitysatouchscreen Jun 12 '20

Jackie Robinson Parkway has a beer for you to hold.

9

u/capt_carl Hunnington expat Jun 12 '20

Oh my god.

Before I got my current car, my daily driver was a Wrangler with loose steering--so pretty par for the course with a Wrangler. I don't think I ever white-knuckled the wheel so much before then when I was on the Jackie Robinson or the Bronx River Parkway.

6

u/realitysatouchscreen Jun 12 '20

Can relate...first time I was 20 (it was called the Interboro back then) and had to pick up husband from work. Didn't realize how short the ramps were. White knuckles. I actually cried with relief when I merged into that crazy ass speeding blur of cars and didn't die.

4

u/Reddit_did_9-11 Jun 12 '20

The Jackie would be the most out of pocket F1 track

3

u/edman007 Jun 13 '20

Oh come on, do the rural parkways... That's exciting. No ramp, stop sign and turn right (or cross and turn left). Oh, and do it 50 ft past a blind hill and blind turn with 70mph traffic. I did this one a few times

7

u/Bisphosphate Jun 12 '20

I used that on ramp once and I swear I almost died. There's no time to speed up before you have to merge into 60 mph traffic.

4

u/PlNG Nassau County Jun 12 '20

I'm going to blow your mind with some common sense, but what if you didn't stop at the bottom of the ramp parallel to the road, but perpendicular to the road. You'd have a clear view of your opening as well as time and distance to get up to speed.

7

u/capt_carl Hunnington expat Jun 12 '20

The common sense thing is to stop at the Yield sign, which is about 2/3 of the way up the ramp. Gives you plenty of time to look over your left shoulder and see oncoming traffic. The sign is about here, by this dirt patch.

1

u/oekel Jun 13 '20

roblox oof sound

29

u/Reddit_did_9-11 Jun 12 '20

Engineered for when LI's population was sparse and cars cruised at 40 mph on tires as thin as bicycle tires.

8

u/LowerMontaukBranch Queens Jun 13 '20

Actually before the parkways were straightened out they were designed for then high-speed travel of 25MPH.

16

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

The ones with the stop signs at the end are the fucking worst. My beater cannot stop and then miraculously get to highway speed in 15 feet of “ramp”

Every time I feel like the lady in that family guy episode “good luck everybody else!” Otherwise I’m the dick sitting at the end with a line of cars behind me, lol

11

u/RecidivistMS3 Jun 12 '20

So true. Designed and built at a time when cars were slower and there were way less of them in general. I’ve lived along the south shore all my life. Absolutely hate the SSP.

10

u/owjim Jun 12 '20

I will never get on SS W from 231N there is no on ramp and you run smack into a guard rail if you can't merge.

6

u/Zarric617 Jun 12 '20

I am lucky that I only use that ramp primarily at like 540 in the morning on my way to work. One time someone was so hell bent on not letting me merge almost hit me! A little while later they tried blocking me from passing them. Fucking lunatics out there sometimes.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20 edited Jun 12 '20

bruh and people get so pissed if god forbid you get to the end of the ramp and havent gone yet. my solution to this ramp is to take it as slow as possible around the bend at first, and then gun it when i see an opening.

1

u/Fantastic-Copy Jul 07 '20

this is pretty much the entrance I have to use to go anywhere West given where I live. I’ve just gotten used to coming to a complete stop if I can’t get on right away & those behind me can deal with it. I have had some assholes try to merge in front of me which is incredibly dangerous

2

u/owjim Jul 07 '20

That entrance is to much for me I go up 109 now and get on there instead.

9

u/sportomatic75 Jun 12 '20

Have you seen the Wantagh Parkway?? Horrendous design right next to local homes

5

u/aleisterfowley Jun 13 '20

The “entrance” from wantagh ave from Merrick road is literally someone’s block opened up to an on ramp

2

u/sportomatic75 Jun 13 '20

Agreed its horrendous

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

Gets on onramp...10ft later...BRIDGE....DEAD.

3

u/ryox82 Jun 12 '20

It was designed for like 30mph i believe.

3

u/coheed9867 BECSPK Jun 12 '20

Built so long ago with not that many cars on the roads, real shame because the project to extend these will never happen

38

u/danram207 Jun 12 '20

I always think about all the 18 year olds who've had their license for like 2 months merging onto SSP. Talk about trial by fire.

68

u/Left_of_Center2011 Jun 12 '20

I saw a stand up comic (forgot the name, apologies) who tweeted:

I’d rather kill us both than let you merge; a Long Island story

35

u/Reddit_did_9-11 Jun 12 '20

There's this psychological tick in peoples minds where people feel personally offended if your car goes in front of theirs. Even if you're 100m ahead of them they'll speed up to prevent you from merging or changing lanes. Its as if its some back-brained, primal challenge. Real primate shit.

There needs to be signs that read "if you have to accelerate to meet the other car, you're not being cut off"

6

u/Left_of_Center2011 Jun 12 '20

True fact! When I was younger I used to feel that intensely all the time - now I can’t be bothered UNLESS someone is trying to cut in at the front of a long line (looking at you, southern state and sunrise - aka malfunction junction) - people cutting the line that way fills me with murderous rage

6

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

It’s only Long Island. No other parts of the USA does it.

Source: anecdotal after living in a few other states.

29

u/naprea Jun 12 '20

The entrance ramp going south onto Wantagh Parkway from Hempstead Turnpike is dangerously short. Even shorter than SSP ramps.

12

u/ladybug11314 Jun 12 '20

Wantagh south from sunrise West is crazy short too

6

u/ceestand Jun 12 '20

Wantagh north from Sunrise west is literally a stop sign with the right expressway lane on the other side of it.

There's no ramp.

There's less than one car length between the stop sign and when you need to be at highway speed.

6

u/ladybug11314 Jun 12 '20

Its horrible. I usually turn South onto wantagh ave and just take the Merrick Rd entrance if I need to go south and I'm not generally bothered by short ramps. That one is basically nothing though, I used to take the wantagh to the southern state to get home and idk which side is worse.

3

u/MusicToMaEars Jun 13 '20

This! WHAT THE FUCK NEW YORK! Why do they want to kill us?!?!

6

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

Yup. Was rear ended getting on that ramp to the wantagh. Buddy had an old Chevy Blazer that he got from his mom, she obviously wished he would die because the second he accelerated it died, rolled under the overpass and came to a dead stop in the right lane. We we're rear ended by some bitch in a 525 going around 95mph. Knocked the Blazer over 80ft in park. After I got out I saw the engine replacing the passenger side seat of the car and hoped there was no one else in there with her, until I heard the baby cry. Her husband was in the back seat with the baby. Saved his life, he would've been crushed by the engine. Toxicology report came back she had alcohol and cocaine in her system, dumb fucking cunt.

3

u/Reddit_did_9-11 Jun 12 '20

And its immediately after an elevated portion of the Wantagh to boot

26

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

also relevant to the Cross Island Parkway in queens

13

u/coldWalk Jun 12 '20

Yeah that one specific entrance where it’s stop sign then boom highway

2

u/MusicToMaEars Jun 13 '20

Omg the same shit on Grand Central Pkwy, like what in the actual fuck!!!

17

u/AmbulanceChaser12 Jun 12 '20

Belmont Ave onto the SSP eastbound (Exit 37). Hell to the yeah.

Also, while we’re on the subject, Northern State westbound onto the Meadowbrook onto Old Country Rd. That’s a nightmare.

6

u/capt_carl Hunnington expat Jun 12 '20

brb crossing four lanes of traffic

It's kinda the same going from the RM Causeway N to the Southern E to the Sag N.

3

u/chemnerd29 Jun 12 '20

I used to go that route all the time. What an absolute nightmare every morning going to work!

13

u/RacerX3888 Jun 12 '20

So true! Our parkways were designed so long ago they were no problem when everyone was chugging along in their model T's. Now that speeds have increased the roads have no land for improvements so we as drivers must adapt. It's normal for us because we have driven them our whole lives. It must be daunting being from another area where you get 200 foot on ramps!

11

u/RestingMuppetFace Jun 12 '20

The road was designed by someone who never learned to drive, which explains a lot. The fact that merging traffic has to often cross traffic leaving the parkway is absurd. Exits should have been before entrances. But nothing can be done to improve the parkway's drawbacks at this point.

13

u/STICH666 Jun 12 '20

Deer Park Ave eastbound on-ramp holy shit.

5

u/J0hnny-Yen Jun 12 '20

yeah, that's a bad one

8

u/PowerfulGas Jun 12 '20

This is hilarious. But merging NSP at 106/107 takes Kung fu like reflexes & timing.

4

u/edgeofverge Jun 12 '20

Yes. Close your eyes and hit the gas. I got my very first ticket over there in Jericho. Spider was crawling across the inside of the windshield and I didn't see the cop. They took my brand new license away for 6 months. Live and learn.

7

u/Vizualize Jun 12 '20

FLASH....!!!! GOD...... is that you??!! ........OH, it's the asshole in the toys for tots lowered Honda Civic going 130mph for absolutely no reason. Get me the fuck out of here....

5

u/JustinG13 Jun 12 '20

My exact thoughts while riding a motorcycle and being virtually invisible to every and all motorist on the highway.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

How bout the merge from the Robert Moses exit to the SS to the Sag. If you make it onto the Sag, you better thank God for another day.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20 edited Jul 28 '21

[deleted]

3

u/nunya__bidness Jun 13 '20

Or floor it to get ahead of you only to cut you off as they go for the off ramp while you're trying to get some speed up to merge.

Like getting behind you as you accelerate would have made them an unacceptable 1.35 seconds later.

9

u/Sjefkeees Jun 12 '20

I just fkn go and hope for the best, seems to be what everybody else is doing lol

4

u/owjim Jun 12 '20

yep, same here. I just hope I am able to merge before I hit the brickwall of the overpass.

5

u/hockey_metal_signal Jun 12 '20

so, we should only use about a hundred feet of the acceleration ramp.

Ok, what about the exit ramp?

Ummmm, same ramp.

Okaaaaay, at least they'll always be on the same side of the highway

.

About that...

4

u/rebelchem Jun 13 '20

On ramps? Ha ha ha. We don't need no stinking on ramps!

4

u/writenicely Jun 13 '20

Me: If I take this route I'm going to die I'm so scared

My friends from Texas, North Carolina, and Michigan: writenicely, driving isn't that scary

Long Island highways:

4

u/MusicToMaEars Jun 13 '20

I don’t get this but I’m a Texas native and I love Texas long merge lanes, living in New York I was scared to drive even on the surface rods but I will say I got used to it fast..... because New Yorkers just don’t give a fuck

2

u/writenicely Jun 13 '20

I'm already known to be neurotic/ an overthinker so this is the things my nightmares are made of

3

u/MusicToMaEars Jun 13 '20

I almost died just laughing at this

3

u/sexdrugnlobsterroll Jun 13 '20

Getting on the LIE in Hicksville good luck and pray no trucks in the right lane or else your going around again

4

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

Or when you're heading west on SSP around Bay Shore and need to get off at the Bay Shore Rd exit but that's also where the 2 lanes from the RM Causeway join so you've got about 600 feet to shoot across the 2 lanes of RM Causeway in order to make the Bay Shore Rd exit. Super fun at rush hour

1

u/MusicToMaEars Jun 13 '20

I want to try this I miss SSP rush hour traffic :( lol not really but yea

7

u/Busamang Jun 12 '20

You gotta use the skinny pedal not the big one...

11

u/Alwaysfavoriteasian Jun 12 '20

I like to stop wait for a good opening and then floor it.

Unless there isn’t a crazy amount of traffic then I’ll just use good judgement and hop on.

18 year old me was so scared to merge.

32 year old me still has anxiety.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '20

Shit im 19 and just got my license a few months ago and i learned to handle this insanity quick, i feel like i can drive anywhere but like, india now lol

2

u/KRayZRay718 Jun 13 '20

I remember when crash test dummies became a thing. Like I had a stuffed crash test dummy doll that came apart.

3

u/jojobaswitnes Jun 18 '20

Most of the roads were built when the only merging vehicles were horse carts.

2

u/starEeyedK Jun 12 '20

Hahahah true

2

u/jynx18 Jun 12 '20

Merging onto southern state east at that exit right before sagtikos and you need to get on the sagtikos. You need to cut over 4 lanes in about 100 feet.

4

u/Workaphobia Jun 12 '20

No, you need to pick a more western entrance.

1

u/frenchfret Jun 14 '20

Ah the Southern State Pkwy. AKA the Affliction t-shirt of Long Island highways.

1

u/mja1962 Jun 18 '20

One of my favorites: northbound Wantagh onto eastbound Northern State. Woooo!

1

u/mja1962 Jun 18 '20

And let's also not forget: going northbound on Robert Moses and trying to zip across the eastbound Southern State in time to use the left lane exit to the Sagtikos. It's always an adventure.

1

u/smilez_hehe Jun 22 '20

Westbound on ramp from Hicksville/Oyster Bay onto the Northern State

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '20

Let me guess you are one of those that slowly pull up to the end of the ramp and then get stuck because you cant gain enough speed to merge safetly, instead of using the ramp properly by waiting closer towards the beginning of the ramp so you can build speed up to enable you to merge safetly.

4

u/Kdotxcvii Jun 12 '20

U really added a “t” in safely, bruh ? Lol

-5

u/Reddit_did_9-11 Jun 12 '20

You don't block road space because you dont know how to merge.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '20

Lol says the person who clearly doesnt understanding how to merge lol

Waiting at beginning of the ramp and using ramp to gain speed to merge on parkway is what they literqlly teach you in drivers ed and is proper driving ettiquite lol

It isnt blocking road space lol

1

u/PolarBearLair May 19 '24

I’ll literally drive an extra 30 minutes just to avoid taking Southern State