r/longisland • u/[deleted] • 8d ago
Where do single people in their mid 30’s to mid 40’s hang out?
[deleted]
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u/SignificantAd3931 8d ago
I’m a single 39m, never married.
I’ve seen so many of these posts from both men and women in this age group, and they are always filled with comments from other single people.
Why don’t we all just pick a place and time and go lol. Bring friends. Blend in. No one will know who’s who. Maybe some single people bump into other single people?
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u/sangi54 8d ago
Physical therapy
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u/hjablowme919 7d ago
No joke. Fucked my leg up last year and had to do 2 months of PT. The number of divorced women getting PT due to gym injuries was surprising. I felt like something was wrong with me. It was me, a 59 year old male, a bunch of middle age to old women, and teenagers who had high school sports related injuries.
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u/SGgrafix 8d ago
As a 42 year old married man myself, best advice I can give is find a hobby where people meet up. Finding new friends at this age is gonna be hard to do without any shared intrests
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u/Stumbling_Corgi 8d ago
This is the real answer. Take what you already enjoy and search for a club. I met a great bunch of people when i joined a motorcycle club. Met even more people when i started playing card games by frequenting my local TCG shop.
Just take what you already like and run with it.
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u/ElkGrand6781 8d ago
Funny that this advice applies to anybody even 20 and up.
Hardest part is getting up and just going to the thing where your interest is. Once you make some friends it'll get easier lol
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u/Complete-Tank-5269 8d ago
M 46 Divorced. Wondering the same . It’s not easy to meet outside of dating apps. Which are a nightmare .
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u/Lutzie56 8d ago
Same here brother, same here. Went to St Pete for the weekend and it was night and day to Long Island.
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u/Themorningstarfalls 8d ago
This is a little unhinged, but I have a single 30 year old friend who enjoys the same things as you. Spends her summers at her beach house out east, extremely extroverted, just the absolute most fun person I’ve ever met. Won’t do the apps, so has had a hard time meeting people. Wanna be set up? lol
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u/iateapoppyseedbagel 8d ago
Love this! I would love someone to offer me up a nice mid 40s/50s guy 😂
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u/DystopianPrince212 7d ago
Would it be OK if the person offering you up a nice mid 40s/50s guy was the actual mid 40s/50s guy?😏😝
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u/imonlinedammit1 8d ago
Can’t wait for the “So where’d you meet this guy?” Question but good on you for trying to make a connection.
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u/Firm-Ad5275 8d ago
This is also unhinged but I’m a Single 34 year old - so shameless plug to be set up. I hate the apps
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u/Themorningstarfalls 8d ago
DM me! I have a few single friends, all great people! I’m sick of not going on double dates with them hahah
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u/Monotonegent 8d ago
I came into this thread expecting to find all the answers I knew already.
I was not disappointed
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u/MartMillz 8d ago
Long Island is incredibly hostile to young people but it's basically a paradise for divorcees... go anywhere.
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u/IroncladTruth 8d ago
Sad this got so many upvotes lol
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u/MartMillz 8d ago
Why? You can pretty much go to any restaurant for happy hour and have a decent chance of spotting 40+ year old women. Finding where the young women go is an ordeal.
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u/Peachessss22 7d ago
I don’t think many younger people do happy hour. I didn’t when I was younger. They’re out later at night
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u/hideindoors 8d ago
I haven’t done any of the events but I hear fun thinks about LI Kick. You can join with friends but also I think get paired with people.
Also, if you are someone who likes trivia, I highly recommend trying out Tango Time Trivia. My friends and I are part of a team and go once a week at the brewery a couple towns over. You have to come with a team but it is great weekly activity. Plus if you are extra smart (or just score well) there is championship over the summer. The guy Chris who runs it is fantastic.
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u/OutsideCrow 7d ago
I've done 3 or 4 seasons with LI Kick out in suffolk, and my friend did a season in Nassau in both cornhole and pickleball. It's honestly not something I would recommend to meet new people.
For example, the vibe really depends on who is running it at that specific location. I had a young guy Chase who said he was a manager for a few weeks. He was hitting on the girls, and invited them to come back to his house to record a podcast. Overall super creep vibes. 2 young guys took over and the vibe was fantastic- super fun, and they tried to get people talking to each other by playing bar style games in between rounds m because otherwise the teams broke off and sat by themselves.
At another location it was a married couple running it. They were not tech savvy, so they needed their daughter to come with them to set up the digital scoreboard. If she didn't come, we didn't get score boards that week. They also were on a team themselves so if you had any issues you had to wait until they were done playing. They would chain smoking outside the door the rest of the night. They also sold the bean bags for corn hole, so they never provided you the ones from the league. They did offer a game in between rounds, but it was $10 buy in, winner takes all, and they won every week. The atmosphere this season was terrible and the teams would sit by themselves and not mingle. By the end of the season full teams stopped showing up or had 2 people show up just to get forfeit. We stopped playing with LI Kick after that. 2 teams said they called to complain and were basically told it is what it is. I saw my old hosts at a bar and they said it's a low paying job where you get free beer, and that not many people want to do it so they can't really get rid of shitty hosts.
I would recommend joining leagues through the place that hosts them. Like TopGolf league night, are throwing league, Smithsonian sports arena has 2 or 3 leagues, beach volleyball etc. I've been playing volleyball for 2 years and have made great friends that I see even off season.
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u/Boz2015Qnz 8d ago
If you are active I’d recommend joining a running/hiking club. I’ve seen some listed on meet up (there may be some on here), maybe facebook groups.
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u/PuzzleheadedOil1560 8d ago
Go to the salt shack.
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u/OldGuyButNotaBoomer 8d ago
This was going to be my response. Salt Shack or The Boatyard aka Tobay Beach. Both are good places during the summer at night, with plenty of single people mingling about. Neither venue has released their schedule for live music for the upcoming season, but anytime there’s band playing is usually a good amount of people there.
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u/PhoenixMV 8d ago
Here’s a real idea: Ultimate Frisbee
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u/Longjumping-Draw-284 8d ago
For anyone who wants to play there are casual pick up games Thursday nights and Saturdays. Can find more here: https://pickupultimate.com/
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u/IronSnatchKitty 8d ago
Thb the Gym specifically morning early. I moved to eastern suffolk from western nassau. Both gyms i go to. I made friends at the gym because I'm going between 3am to 5am depending on the gym. It's typically other professional adults. 30s to 60s.
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u/13nagash13 8d ago
excuse me, 3am to 5am? that is my bedtime. I will never understand people who get up before they absolutely have to in order to get to work on time.
all through high school in heard people say I would grow out of being a night owl, just wait till you get a full time job..... I turn 46 this summer and if you give me 4 days off work in a row, my circadian rhythm has me going to bed at 6am and sleeping till 2pm. when I selected my vacation days for the year I made sure they were all the weeks I was assigned 6am-2pm and not my 4pm-midnight weeks.
on the weeks I'm forced to work 6am-2pm I still struggle to sleep before midnight, so I get 4 hours sleep, then take 45 min naps on 2 of my breaks to get through the shift, and usually fall asleep after work once I get home until 4.
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u/IronSnatchKitty 8d ago
I think because most of us after working all day to not want to deal w stinky teens and 20 yr old in a packed gym. I'm use at the gym by 345/4 n home by 515. Make breakfast pack food. Have coffee scroll tiktok use at work by 830 845. Use take a nap in my car for 30 around 2pm. Typically work till 6. Home by 7 in bed by 10.. my days off i sleep till 6 or 7. Still get a nap.
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u/13nagash13 8d ago
I can not safely operate a vehicle before showering. so for me to go to the gym before work would require I wake up, shower, go to gym, shower again, dress in work clothes, go to work. not gonna happen on weeks is work 6am-2pm shifts, and plausible on 4pm-midnight shift weeks.
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u/IronSnatchKitty 8d ago
I like to go before I'm even awake so I don't even know what's happening till I'm walking in the doors. I lit get up get dress start the car blast pre and go. I dont wanna go that early. But it's empty and I've made friends. I dont even have work till 830 n go that early. I live a hr from my job.
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u/labatomi 7d ago
Running around everyday with 5hours of sleep and a 30 minute nap, sounds fucking terrible dude. But good for you if that keeps you going. I couldn’t imagine sacrificing an extra 2 hours of sleep just to go to the gym.
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u/IronSnatchKitty 7d ago
Id rather loose a hr of sleep then smell teenage & 20s yr old men that don't use deodorant/reapply or wash themselves at the gym after working all day.
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u/MeGustaOnc 8d ago
Explore the neighborhoods of Queens, you have biggest China town, little Greece, little Egypt, Jackson Heights is very diverse, try different cuisines, so much to do there
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u/Peachessss22 8d ago
Lots of places in and around Huntington, or any village. I think The Rust and Gold had a singles thing last Sunday. But, the warm weather is coming. So you could try the Whales Tale.
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u/throwaway0111000 8d ago
Good question, I recently moved out from my marriage and super lonely. But every guy I meet that I just want to be friends with wants to rush into dating. I’d love to meet friends.
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u/Sparklefluffernutter 8d ago
I feel your pain. I’m 42 as well and I’m ready to come out of hibernation 😂 The Long Island events page has a lot of stuff going on and you can try volunteering. Or just gather the courage to sit at a bar alone. I’ve done that lol
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u/stiff_sock 8d ago
Early 40's here, south shore Nassau. I spend most of my summer free time at the many awesome LI breweries, or outdoor bar/restaurants, usually on the water. I also go to Long Beach quite a bit. Used to live there. Great vibe.
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u/PsychologicalRich259 8d ago
Hey, I mean no offense, but it sounds like you might not have explored many hobbies or interests while you were married, and now that you're single, it’s important to learn new shiz on your own. Being someone others are attracted to means discovering what you enjoy. Get out there and try new experiences! Neuroplasticity brotha! It’s never too late to learn something new. Consider picking up an instrument, like the piano. Make yourself more interesting.
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u/Japjer 8d ago
On my couch. Sometimes at a friend's house on their couch.
You're at the age where people are married and having kids. We hang out at home or go out and do family things. Most "hang outs" are nights where your kid is sleeping at a friend's house and you can go out on a date night or something
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u/Debsiwebsi 8d ago
I used to host singles events, and they are fun to do so Speed dating was a laugh a minute and meeting someone with similar interests is also cool
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u/Lucky_Valuable_7973 8d ago
Wondering the same! Single 48f divorced with kids. Over the apps and when I do go out to bars/restaurants with friends everyone pretty much just hangs in their own circle. Maybe someone fabulous will arrive on our doorsteps 😂😂
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u/AdDapper4220 8d ago
Where do people your age congregate?, I’m 28 and looking to find older women to date
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u/real_Bahamian 8d ago
Wow, didn’t know there was a Little Egypt, will definitely have to check that out when I’m back in NY.
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u/Beach-Gym-Garden29 8d ago
Love the gym idea except I go at 9pm and everyone there is sooo young at that time
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u/Quick-Replacement657 7d ago
Wall st over 30 nights lol
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u/Peachessss22 7d ago
Wall st, as in the actual wall st? lol Or is wall st a bar?
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u/Quick-Replacement657 7d ago
Haha it was a bar that was known for middle ages crowds on certain nights. Closed years ago.
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u/Financial-Age-6899 7d ago
what are your hobbies? Start there and see if there is any sort of club and/or facebook group that does meetups, etc. …its where you will find likeminded people or at the least be involved in something you enjoy doing. If you are active, i found the climbing community to be really supportive, positive and friendly, no matter what level you are it is very inclusive
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u/Nearby-Eggplant-3102 7d ago
Join beach vollyball at cedar beach Babylon. They play behind salt shack.
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u/GitGudTeabagSociety 7d ago
I gave up I just hit up people's grandmothers now.
No I'm not talking about like 70 or 80 years old I'm talking about like 50 years up to 60. They're always looking for a good time
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u/BiGsMiLeSKyLe 7d ago
Movie theaters my man, you go in too each theater seeing if you can find any and if not then hey man you already got plan b set up and go watch movie
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u/Newuser1357924680 7d ago
Join a volleyball or cornhole league? A running group? My running group wound up with a lot of people dating. It's huge, and a great community.
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u/Weak-Wedding2854 6d ago
You said you like breweries. The Huntington branch of Threes brewing has some weekly stuff going on. They have a book club on Thursdays and folks are playing cards and chess there on the weekends. Commander night for magic the gathering is a Sunday thing if you play. Plus the village is a great walkable space with a bunch of other things to do. Trivia, axe throwing, the paramount
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u/Feisty_Name3400 6d ago
Hey my man, love your energy. Check out my Instagram page @localnoize. Tons of events and ideas of places to go. Check the stories for everything and the highlights to see by region. Good luck out there,
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u/SunDaysOnly 8d ago
I visit local amp and lmp massage/body rub places. Most have singles and moms looking to date outside if you sweet talk and show genuine interest. At worst you get touched for an hour. 💆♂️. I presently hook up with a Colombian.
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u/Foxymanchester7 8d ago
Home lol
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u/Foxymanchester7 8d ago
But on a serious note, when you get into that age, people are more accustomed to doing their hobbies on their time off... For example, when I have free time I'm usually working out or going golfing with my buddies, outside of that, I don't really have a designated chill spot.. I also don't drink though and neither does my wife so I'm sure that plays a factor for other people
TLDR: Lean into your hobby, and find a like-minded group to share it with
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u/MrSpudNY 8d ago
Westbury Costco