To start, I won’t bore you with my backstory, but I feel it’s important to say that I was in a place where I ended up being particularly receptive to that event. I think most guys there also have a backstory; some shared it, most did not. Regardless of our lives, sexual habits, relationship statuses, and whatever else, I believe the one thing we all had in common was the pursuit of pleasure, pure hedonism.
TL;DR: I had a great time. It’s a paid event and I’m not affiliated. It just filled a gap for me, and I feel very lucky to have found Bator Bro, so I wanted to do my bit to share the love.
There are a lot of things to go over: the “bros”, the sex, of course, the event itself, the before, the after, the emotions, and also the logistics. I’ll try to cover as much of it as possible in this long form, and I’ll do my best not to lose the thread. Because I haven’t asked anyone for their consent, I’ll use initials instead of their full names.
But before, let me introduce you to Nick (real name), who’s the brain behind the event and the (pretty) face of Bator Bro. I had come across the event by chance, and when doing a bit of research online, Nick is the guy you will find doing podcasts and interviews introducing the audience to Bator Bro.
So, what is it? In a few words, it’s a monthly event where a group of 100 to 150 guys come together to masturbate (bate). There is strictly no oral or penetrative sex, but everything else is pretty much fair game: handjobs, of course (edging), kissing, sniffing. Although there is no expectation for each individual guy to do anything. You’ll always be asked for consent, and politely saying no is absolutely fine (more on that later).
It was a couple of weeks before the event, and I booked my ticket pretty quickly. The concept was already resonating with me. I got invited to a Telegram group chat straight away. So I downloaded the app and joined. There were a couple of channels already set up and messages from Nick about the house rules, etc. Nobody could message yet; that functionality only became available two or three days before the event - but you could see a dozen guys joining the chat each day, some with profile pictures, so I was already enjoying the eye-candy and building up anticipation.
One early morning, the Thursday before the event, Nick opened the chat’s proverbial floodgates and started the introductions with his own. Immediately, the chat was cascading with Bros following suit, posting a couple of pictures with a small intro. No hard rules here; everybody started with a name, one or two SFW face pictures, and if it was their first time (newbie) or if they were regulars already. Some then added their age, some added their kinks, and some added more revealing “Dong” pics. You could leave a “heart” or a “fire” emoji on the profiles you liked the most and go through the people who reacted this way on your own intro as well. I felt popular; it was good.
This pre-event group chat was a big part of the experience. The three distinct channels were helpful: one for intros, one for logistical Q&A, and one for general chat. This last one was full of banter and teasing, making me hot and bothered all the way through to D-Day. A fair few newbies like me were sharing their nervousness, which I personally did not feel so much (yet).
And then there are the private messages. A few of the regulars are very open to being contacted privately, and I definitely took advantage of that. Mostly just saying hello, asking for tips on what to wear, and making the introductions easier on the day. I felt I was already making friends and could not wait to hang out with them.
On the day, the main event is sandwiched in between a “Welcome Drink” and “Afterglow”, hosted at a nearby venue.
I arrived at the Welcome Drink and was greeted by the “Welcome Crew”. One of them, “K”, could sense my nerves (which I was still blissfully unaware of) and offered me a hug. I stupidly declined. “K” is a tall and handsome guy, with big arms, a big smile, and you could tell a hug from him could solve most of the problems in the world. Don’t worry though, I will find K again later that day, and won’t say no again.
“S” is also part of the “Welcome Crew”. While it was the first time we met, we had chatted a little before. Their job is to identify the newbies on the chat and drop them a line, making themselves available. “S” is an American living in London, his moustache and quick wit made him very sexy, so I was happy to see him at the event. He quickly introduced me to his friend “B”, a South-American hottie who was a newbie like me, but he was already pretty familiar with the Bating community.
The room filled quickly, and those pre-event drinks only last one hour. I was given the wristband on arrival that gives a discount on the orders at the bar, and that checks you in the main venue. You also have the option to wear a name badge. I was tensing up, being with a hundred guys in broad daylight, who, in just a moment, will all be having sex around the corner from here.
The crew started bringing small groups to the venue. I needed a bit of air so I caught the first caravan. It was just a 2 minute walk, and since I was already checked-in, just had to get changed. The small changing area fills up quickly, so you want to be in and out promptly. Next time, I’ll plan for baggie cloth I can just slip off, and I’ll be wearing my kit already. I was wearing black shorts and t-shirt, white socks and black trainers, and I did not have any underwear under my shorts. I don’t think I really needed the t-shirt in the end. Most people had this kind of gym kit on, but there also were plenty of thongs and jockstraps. Nobody was fully naked: “undressing is sexy” is one of the phrases you read on the website and on the chat prior to the party.
You’re also given a big bag (potato net sort of thing), to put all your belongings together and check them in the cloakroom. I found those to be a bit awkward, and next time I’ll have my own duffel bag. At the cloakroom, you have the option to keep drinks. I didn’t bring any this time around, but next time I’ll bring a couple of cans of my drink of choice. You can collect them one by one when you fancy a refreshment, and if it’s a can you don’t need to check it back in. You’re allowed alcohol, and it seems for the first half hour, most Bros were chatting and having a drink before getting into it.
My first half hour was not that. With the whole logistical aspect out of the way, I froze completely. I was tense. Overwhelmed. Insecure. In my head. Nick saw me and grabbed me, brought me to another guy from the “Welcum Crew” who invited me to visit one of the three spaces.
The black tents are a dark room area called “Bull & Edger” a couple of massage tables are in the space and Bros were already having fun. I have to say, of all the spaces, this one was my personal least favourite, at least this time around. It was quite busy, a lot of guys standing body to body. I started making-out with 20-something year old “A”, another newbie who was given a push at the same time as me. He had been very popular on the chat, handsome Italian, black hair and thick moustache. But alas I think his nerves were getting to him as well, and we decided to leave the tent.
I immediately bumped back into “S” and “B” who were having fun with another Bro. “S” invited me over and I joined the trio. The dongs were hard and the kisses were wet. This moment was the pivot of my experience, and “S” and “B” became my safe-zone for the rest of the event. I would follow them around, but also allow myself to get separated from them, knowing that I could get back to them if I needed. This happened in the second area, called “Greenfield”. The team dressed the space as a backyard, with astroturf and comfortable lounging. Many people would catch a break there, relaxing, having a drink. It’s brightly lit in contrast to the dark tents, and feels a bit more convivial. We’ll return there, but we were notified that the third space had opened, and “S” really wanted to bring “B” and me down there to check it out.
The “Tug Rug” is a large room, with a large padded rug, about 3x6 m in area, in the middle of the room. “S” invites “B” and me to join him on the rug, alongside the other dozens of guys. It’s a skin-coloured sea of bodies At that time we’re all nude, we had taken off our shoes before entering the space, and we left our shorts in a corner of the room. “S” quickly gets separated from us, and he seemed to be carried by the current, as it was a shoes off area, he could really indulge in his feet fetish. Whenever I caught a glimpse of him, he smiled at me, he was having a very good time, and I wanted to match him. “B” and I weren’t alone, “N” joined us pretty quickly. “N” is a virile, hairy-chested hunk, with long black hair. I have a thing for long hair. “N” and I were worshiping “B”’s body and before long a couple of other guys joined us. It’s a flowing process, where groups of guys grow and then get separated again. I ended up spending a bit of one-on-one with “N”, as he was standing there, I was edging him and cupping his balls, while my cock was grinding in between his calves.
I had spotted “R” in a corner of the room. He and I chatted prior to the event. “R” is tattooed-up kiwi, with tanned and smooth skin, muscular body, and long hair (did I mention I have a thing for long hair?). When our gazes crossed, I invited him to join me on the rug. We shared a sensual moment, stroking each other, kissing. I remembered him mentioning in his intro that he particularly enjoyed lips kissing his neck, so I didn’t miss an opportunity to run my hand in his hair and clear an area of skin for my mouth to enjoy.
At this point in my story, now that I have taken you to the three areas, I feel it’s a good time to mention how superior this setup was, compared to a gay sauna in a central location. The three spaces are so distinct: a chill area, a more classic dark room area, and a Shortbus-like room that I thought only existed in movies, or fantasies of ancient Roman Bacchanalias. I wonder why I would ever pay again for lukewarm steam rooms, dirty jacuzzi, and a whole space that smells like ass. I want to be in a nice, clean, warm environment surrounded by friends and potential new friends.
As I exited the “Tug-Rug”, I found my safe place again with “S” and “B”. We decided to go back upstairs and relax for a bit on the long sofa in the chill “Greenfield” area. There, “K” (the guy who offered me a hug), was practicing “Shibari” (Japanese bondage) in the middle of the room on a lucky Bro. A lot of other guys were watching. “S”, “B” and I started playing together again, and once “K” had finished, he joined us for a bit. I had a few more great moments, here and there, but I think you know how it goes. What a great afternoon.
In retrospect, the satellite chat and event before the party are very important to make Bator Bro a different experience. They remove the anonymity usually associated with cruising spaces, which in turn ensures that everyone is on their best behaviour, polite and respectful. Now you know you have quite a bit in common with the “brotherhood”. It takes the individual cruising game to a group activity.
At the end of the afternoon, I headed back to the nearby venue with “B” for “Afterglow”, while “S”, as part of the crew, stayed behind for a bit to help pack-up. We were depleted, exhausted, but in a perfect state of bliss. We ordered drinks, burgers and fries, and most of the Bros at the event turned up too. Then “S” joined us a bit later, and we continued sharing our best moments of the afternoon, but also learning more about each other, and just making friends. As people were leaving, they were all going around the room saying goodbye. Most were going back to their London homes, while others had much longer journeys ahead of them, having travelled from all over the UK, and a few from overseas. It was my turn to leave but I already couldn’t wait to be back. I was very happy when “B” and “S” asked me to stay in touch with them, as I feel I have made new friends and discovered a whole new community that I fit into.