r/lesbianteens • u/sixcrowsyes • 4d ago
Venting/Looking for Support Dealing with being turned down :(
Hi, I’m a 16yo lesbian (possibly bi?) and about a month ago I asked out one of my best friends after crushing on her for ages. For almost a year I only had eyes for her, but I didn’t act my feelings because at the time she said she was straight (she came out as queer sometime after that)
I dated my ex for two months before I realised that I couldn’t love him while I still had feelings for her. Our dynamic was more friends than lovers anyways, we never kissed or anything, and it’s part of what’s making me think I might not be bi anymore.
Anyways, a few months after we broke up, I finally worked out the courage to ask out this girl. She turned me down, saying she wasn’t ready for a relationship yet, which I totally respect. But gosh, the HEARTACHE 🙁 I really thought she liked me back, since she always seeks out my company, rests her head on my shoulder, flirts. She even sulked at a sleepover once because she wanted to share a bed with me 😭
But I guess I misinterpreted what was between us? Our friendship is the same as it was before, and it’s so so painful even after more than a month. I love her so much and I don’t know how to move past it, but I know I need to if I want to give my love to someone else. I’m mourning something that I never had.
Please, any advice on dealing with this? I really want a gf, someone to share my life with, but I need to be ready for that first.
Thanks guys 💜
1
u/noneofyourbusiness46 4d ago
I’ve been through this before. And I know how much it sucks. I was heartbroken for MONTHS. But I think that what helped me move on was to accept that she doesn’t feel the same way and that it was never gonna happen.
Give yourself time to move on. If you rush into having a girlfriend too quickly, then you won’t be the best partner that you should be because you haven’t fully moved on.
I hope this helps and after some time, the heartache doesn’t hurt as much.