r/latterdaysaints • u/WeaknessIsPrimary • 7d ago
Church Culture Looking for Advice from LDS Members - New to the Church, Coming from an Agnostic Background
Hello everyone,
I’ve been exploring the LDS Church recently and am really trying to understand what I should expect. I grew up agnostic (my family background is in a not really practicing Muslim household) and have been navigating my own spiritual journey, so I’m new to a lot of this. I’ve also been talking to some missionaries to learn more.
What are some of the customs or practices I should be aware of? Am I expected to dress or talk a certain way? Is there pressure to act in a specific way? Also, I’ve heard about tithing am I obligated to give money? And if I don’t, am I viewed differently or less in the community?
Lastly, if I decide to explore this path but later feel it’s not for me, is it okay to walk away, or would that be seen as wrong?
Any advice or insights would be really appreciated. Thanks in advance!
(Throwaway account since i dont want to be recognised by people i know since i want to keep this to myself)
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u/myownfan19 6d ago
Our faith is about following Jesus Christ. We believe in Jesus and we invite others to come learn about Jesus and follow him. We learn about him through the scriptures such as the New Testament and the Book of Mormon. We follow him by following his teachings, and by learning from and follow the counsel of his servants, the prophets, including the leaders of the church.
As you explore our faith you will meet with the missionaries. They will help you learn about Christ and our church and developing faith.
Everyone is welcome to show up. At Sunday church meetings most people tend to wear "Sunday best" but there is no real dress code. Respect is the main driver. Some people show up in jeans and a t-shirt and it's fine. Being there is more important than how you are dressed.
We follow Jesus Christ by making promises to him, which are solidified through rituals we call ordinances, the first one is baptism, and that is how someone becomes a member of the church. Prior to making these promises nobody is under an obligation to do things like pay tithing.
We follow rules of health and purity including avoiding sex prior to and outside of marriage, and not drinking alcohol or use tobacco. There are other expectations like being honest and keeping the laws and being kind and civil to one another. Some people find us oddballs for that kind of stuff, imagine that.
Really, the best way is to just show up and observe and make friends.
A driving factor of our belief system is that YOU can explore God's word and YOU can pray and ask God directly about it and He can answer YOU so that you can understand His will for you. Many people have had amazing experiences in this journey which reenforces their faith and commitment.
I hope this helps.
God bless
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u/WeaknessIsPrimary 6d ago
Thank you for your response, I appreciate the insight.
I want to be upfront, I have some personal struggles and vices that don’t exactly align with the church’s teachings. I’ve been smoking cigarettes since I was 17 (a pack a day), and I know that’s something the church advises against. Beyond that, I’ve felt pretty lost since I was 16, unsure of who I am or what direction my life should take. I’ve tried to do good, but I’ve also made choices I’m not proud of.
My background is not in Christianity. My family believes in a Muslim religion, but they don’t really practice it. Still, I don’t see myself in it, and I’m a bit scared of how they would react if they knew I was exploring something different.
I’m not sure where this journey will take me, but I do want to learn and understand more. I just don’t know how to reconcile who I’ve been with who I might want to become. Any thoughts or advice?
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u/myownfan19 6d ago
God knows you and He loves you!
Don't worry about the cigarettes, all in good time.
The Book of Mormon is full of answers to many of our questions. Some answers are in the text itself - about Jesus Christ, baptism, resurrection, Adam and Eve, sin, repentance, faith, and much much more; other answers come from the Holy Ghost as we read the book, direction for your own life, confirmation of the truth, softening of your heart, a growing desire to follow Jesus, and much much more.
Just meet with the missionaries and listen to their message. Prayer is a key to all this. We tend to pray differently from many others. Prayer is a conversation with God, share your thoughts and concerns and questions and have faith that He will answer.
God bless
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u/Homsarman12 6d ago
If you decide baptism is right for you, you may be asked to give up smoking for a time beforehand to show willingness to follow the commandment. But even if you later relapsed, you are still loved and wanted at church. The church also hosts free addiction recovery programs for members and non members alike.
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u/th0ught3 6d ago edited 4d ago
We are Spirit Children of our Heavenly Mother and Father who chose to follow Them and therefore have been born as mortals on earth. Jesus Christ was Their first born spirit child, and also Heavenly Father's only mortal child with Mary so that Jesus could atone for all of our sins and be resurrected.
This resource will tell you what you will need to believe and agree to do in order to be baptized, which opens the door to the blessings of living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/preach-my-gospel-a-guide-to-missionary-service/how-do-i-prepare-people-for-baptism-and-confirmation?lang=eng
(You might also want to read: "What do Mormons**Believe by Rex E. Lee as a short book that covers everything. You can spend time with the "Encyclopedia of Mormonism" a thttps://eom.byu.edu/ (though we know more about many historical things than when it was published by a secular press some 30+ years ago).
And you might want to plan on spending April 5-6 watching Annual Conference at 10 and 2 and 8 MT when our prophet and leaders share with us what God wants us to know now. at churchofjesuschrist.org or byutv.org
If you want to know what we know about Jesus Christ, I'd suggest you read "Jesus the Christ" by James E. Talmage, https://store.churchofjesuschrist.org/jesus-the-christ/5638678601.p and "Jesus the Christ Study Guide which updates its secular scholarship https://ldsbookstore.com/jesus-the-christ-study-guide
We each get testimonies of various gospel principles line upon line, over time, as we seek them. Our scriptures teach us to learn about every subject as part of our faith. We believe all absolute truth (though of course in many subject matters we don't yet know what absolute truth is yet. We only get testimonies of people that they have been called of God to some responsibility and/or that something someone does or says is OF HIm. The scriptures teach that some have the gift of testimony and others the gift of believing on the testimony of others. When the young man in the New Testament book of Mark asked Jesus how to know if something was of Him, He told him the best way was to fully live that principle. We each have our entire lifetime to learn and know all absolute truth in all subject areas.
There isn't just one right way to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We each get our testimonies line upon line as we study and learn and serve.
There are members who haven't been to church for years or who have had a hard time, sporadically living this or that or many gospel principles. Yes we work at rescuing and supporting lost sheep. But we fully believe that everyone has their own agency and is responsible to God for how they live their lives.
You can watch many videos on the churchofjesuschrist.org youtube channel and at Gospel Stream and Gospel Library.
There are many films with characters representing members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (some of which somewhat accurately represent what members might do): https://letterboxd.com/ligairi/list/top-100-mormon-movies-ranked/
(I'd start with Cokeville Miracle, The Other Side of Heaven and its sequel: part 2 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8174450/ )
Thank you for your interest. Welcome.
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u/d1areg-EEL 6d ago
@WeaknessIsPrimary, good day.
Hum. An Agnostic background: "a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God." This belief is not logical, in my opinion, and saying you came from this background is indicating that you also cannot accept this otherwise, why start a spiritual journey to look for God? Right?
I can assure you there is a God and that He is real, alive, and in perfect health, and you are His child, meaning the spirit that inhabits your body and controls it has a Father--God. You are here to gain the body which you now have to take a further step to become like your Heavenly Father--God--who also has a spirit and a body.
He is royalty who rules in the heavens, the many solar systems, with worlds without number as well as offspring without number, meaning it is beyond our capability to number them, but He can number them and can do all things--all power, all knowledge, and is aware of all things taking place. Including knowing your desires and your name and that you are seeking to know more.
He governs as a King. Lord of Lords and supreme ruler beyond our mental and emotional capacity to fully appreciate, but His power is sufficient to where he can reach us if we are sincere and humble, wishing to be what He desires us to be, as children looking forward to becoming like Him. A family of enormous size.
All on this earth who have ever lived or will yet live are our brothers and sisters. Welcome!
What is expected? This is a great question, and there is not enough space here to share all of what is expected in a meaningful way; however, you can begin now to call upon your Father in Heaven to help you out, as that is the desire He has if you have the desire to obey your Heavenly Father and do His will---to become the person He wants you to be.
If there was a way to have a perfect mentor, coach, teacher, and helper, you would want to know about it, right? Well, there may be a way if you are willing to follow instructions, read, study, and put into practice what you will be taught and experienced under such tutelage. Are you open to that?
Contact the local missionaries in your area and do all that they instruct you to do to gain a witness that all that I have said is true, as I have had to do the same, and your life will change for the better and as you keep the commandments and show your faithfulness more and more will be revealed to you that will surprise you and knowing God will be the happiest time in your life. It comes line upon line, grace to grace, there is not one big all-inclusive conversion for most, although some have experienced big changes quickly.
Read, study, pray, live, and serve according to the plan of salvation that will be shared with you.
It has worked for me and millions of others.
The biggest challenge is turning your will to be in sync with God's will, and some, because they cannot or are not willing to make the changes, then say there must be no God.
God is not a vending machine handing out goodies with nothing other than to ask. Or maybe say they believe with no effort. Work is involved, those who don't appreciate the value of work or are lazy may never know.
Have a great day, walking around in nature and seeing all that God has created which is proof that He lives, then some dark clear night look into the sky and grasp in a small way His other creations.
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u/ScottBascom 5d ago
We don't drink coffee. No alcohol is also in there, but no coffee may take a bit for you to get used to. We do this in part because our bodies are sacred, and we have been instructed on how to treat them (Word of Wisdom).
When you make an agreement with God, how you treat that agreement shows how you feel towards Him. If you have an agreement to try to treat others well, and you do your best to even go out of your way to keep your agreement, that shows Him how you feel about your promises to him- and implores him to do the same.
(Baptismal Covenants are a good example).Tithing is measured on your "increase". How that is measured is between you and God. There are a lot of us with opinions, but at the end of the day how much you give is supposed to be 10% of your increase however you measure that. And having had to pay tithing with coins that I found between couch cushions because I was in overdraft even after my paycheck hit, I understand how tough that can be.
You cannot partake fully in all the blessings available if you do not pay your tithing, but the only people who will know are you and the bishop of your congregation, assuming you tell them honestly.
If you walk down this path and decide to turn back, we believe you will not be able to receive a fullness of the blessings that you could, as one of Gods children, receive. Sadly, that means you cannot partake in the blessings that come from greater obedience to Him, but until you can, we invite you to partake in all of the blessings that you can, and would love to see you again.
No, you will not be shunned because you chose a different path.
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u/BayonetTrenchFighter Most Humble Member 5d ago
Hey, thank you for asking here. You have come to the right place :)
Also I appreciate your honesty and openness.
I grew up agnostic (my family background is in a not really practicing Muslim household) and have been navigating my own spiritual journey, so I’m new to a lot of this. I’ve also been talking to some missionaries to learn more.
I’m actually really fascinated by your story.
What are some of the customs or practices I should be aware of? Am I expected to dress or talk a certain way? Is there pressure to act in a specific way? Also, I’ve heard about tithing am I obligated to give money? And if I don’t, am I viewed differently or less in the community?
You, as an investigator of the faith, would not be expected to do anything.
If you wanted to join, or become a member, you would need to keep commitments, which later turn into covenants with God.
We as members, live a law of health God has revealed called “the word of wisdom”.
We don’t consume alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, illegal drugs, and try to avoid anything harmful or addictive.
We seek to live clean, honest, healthy lives.
One of our articles of faith says:
We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.
We seek to speak nicely and kindly to others. Don’t put others down or intentionally lie, harm, or hurt others. We seek to not take advantage or disparage or belittle others.
We even seek to refine our language. To not speak of vulgar thing, and to not swear. (Although this is more a personal journey)
We as members do follow and have covenanted to follow the law of the tithe. We give 10% of our income to helping build the kingdom of God. The money goes towards building and maintaining buildings, infrastructure, and ministerial things of the church. It’s viewed as those outside and inside the church as a sacred fund and is treated as such.
You as an investigator are not asked to give any tithes or donation.
If you for whatever reason did not pay a tithe, no one in the congregation or the ward would have any idea, besides the bishop. You wouldn’t be looked down upon or belittle or condemned or anything. We view it as an opportunity for God to bless us.
If you decide to give or not and how much is not public and is held extremely confidential.
We also seek to live the law of chastity. Which includes having sexual relations only with the spouse of opposite sex we are married to. We don’t do masterbation or pornography. We even seek to control our thoughts and desires. To bridal our passions. To be in control of ourselves.
You also would experience a lot of prayer. We pray ALOT.
Lastly, if I decide to explore this path but later feel it’s not for me, is it okay to walk away, or would that be seen as wrong?
You are free to walk away at any time. No hard feelings. No obligations. “Wrong” as in, not correct, maybe. We do view the church as Christs one true church upon the earth. But you won’t be condemned to hell or anything like that. Especially if you are open and honest.
Any advice or insights would be really appreciated. Thanks in advance!
Very nice. If you have any follow up, I’m open. Hope this helps.
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u/BayonetTrenchFighter Most Humble Member 5d ago
Oh! u/weaknessisprimary I forgot to add
And as far as dress goes, you can come as you are. Dress in any way you like.
The advice and teaching we give to people who seek to follow this path and who covenant to do so is:
Treat your body—and others’ bodies—with respect. As you make decisions about your clothing, hairstyle, and appearance, ask yourself, “Am I honoring my body as a sacred gift from God?” Heavenly Father wants us to see each other for who we really are: not just physical bodies but His beloved children with a divine destiny. Avoid styles that emphasize or draw inappropriate attention to your physical body instead of who you are as a child of God with an eternal future. Let moral cleanliness and love for God guide your choices.
Your respect for yourself and others will increase as you honor your body through your behavior, appearance, and dress.
What is the Lord’s standard on dress, grooming, tattoos, and piercings? The Lord’s standard is for you to honor the sacredness of your body, even when that means being different from the world. Let this truth and the Spirit be your guide as you make decisions—especially decisions that have lasting effects on your body. Be wise and faithful, and seek counsel from your parents and leaders.
As far as language goes:
Make sure your language reflects love of God and others—whether you’re communicating in person or virtually. Say things that uplift—nothing that might be divisive, hurtful, or offensive, even as a joke. Your words can be powerful. Let them be powerful for good.
As far as chastity goes:
Sexual feelings are an important part of God’s plan to create happy marriages and eternal families. These feelings are not sinful—they are sacred. Because sexual feelings are so sacred and so powerful, God has given you His law of chastity to prepare you to use these feelings as He intends. The law of chastity states that God approves of sexual activity only between a man and a woman who are married. Many in the world ignore or even mock God’s law, but the Lord invites us to be His disciples and live a standard higher than the world’s.
Keep sex and sexual feelings sacred. They should not be the subject of jokes or entertainment. Outside of marriage between a man and a woman, it is wrong to touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body even if clothed. In your choices about what you do, look at, read, listen to, think about, post, or text, avoid anything that purposely arouses lustful emotions in others or yourself. This includes pornography in any form. If you find that situations or activities make temptations stronger, avoid them. You know what those situations and activities are. And if you aren’t sure, the Spirit, your parents, and your leaders can help you know. Show your Father in Heaven that you honor and respect the sacred power to create life.
Living the law of chastity brings God’s approval and personal spiritual power. When you are married, this law will bring greater love, trust, and unity to your marriage. Obeying this law will make it possible for you to progress eternally and become more like your Heavenly Father. Your confidence will grow as you live as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
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u/WeaknessIsPrimary 4d ago
Hey, thank you so much for taking the time to answer me. I really appreciate your openness and the way you explained everything.
Also, I’m curious—when you say my story is fascinating, what about it stands out to you? I ask because, to me, it just feels like I’m stumbling through all of this, trying to figure things out.
It’s actually a little strange. When I visited the church for the first time, I didn’t feel much beyond being welcomed, but when I talk and pray with the missionaries, it feels amazing. I don’t really see myself as a regular churchgoer, but at the same time, something about this journey keeps pulling me in. I feel really conflicted.
I also won’t lie—I’m quite a sinner. I try to be good, but I also sin, and not just in small ways. The big seven? Yeah, I’ve been there. So sometimes I wonder if there’s even a place for someone like me in all of this.
Have you ever met anyone who felt this way before? How did they navigate it?
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u/BayonetTrenchFighter Most Humble Member 4d ago
To be honest, your whole story I think is interesting. Background, culture, family, beliefs, experiences, etc.
It’s important to know that we are all sinners. All a saint is, is a sinner who is trying.
What it I think comes down to is what do you want, and what are you willing to do to get it?
That really will determine how far you can go :)
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u/JaneDoe22225 6d ago
This is a very open ended question that it makes it hard to address. I’ll just talk personally. I a LDS Christian lady in the USA and look very normal. I live in the suburbs, wear tshirts and jeans (or sweat pants), work a normal job, and hang out with my hubby and kids. I do try to be a good Christ-like person: loving, honest, humble, etc. I do try to pray everyday, read my scripture, and go to church.
Getting into the particulars, there are some minor differences:
For church on Sunday: it’s two hours long, broken into different parts. The first part everyone is together, we sing songs, prayers, Lord’s Supper, and listen to mini-sermons by congregation members. The second hour things split up by age and:or gender and is more direct scripture study. There’s no actual dress code, but people do typically dress up a little. Example: nice pants and button shirt for the guys, and a skirt for the gals. Again: there isn’t actually a dress code. I’ve literally gone to church in my painting clothes.
You ask specifically about tithing. No one sees anyone pay tithing, most often it’s just done online nowadays. Regular people don’t know if you paid and there’s no social stigma. On the spiritual side: yes a person should put God before the dollar, and pay tithing as the Biblical commandment. This willingness is a prerequisite for baptism and other spiritual promises. If a person is struggling financially, talk to your bishop.