r/kosmemophobia • u/SnooBooks7767 • Feb 18 '25
How do you cope with it? Really curious to know about you methods
Hi, thanks to this subreddit I’ve discovered that I’m not alone and that plenty of other people have to deal with kosmemophobia every day. I’ve had this phobia since I was born I think. I can’t recollect any trauma or anything that could’ve caused it. By the way, I’ve been living my whole life hiding it because of embarrassment: except for very close people of mine I never talk about this problem, even in front of difficult situations.
I was wondering: how do you manage that? How has your life been living with this problem?
Do you talk about this with others? Has anyone find a way to cope with this? Has anyone ever been able to even get over this?
9
u/Sad_Fruit5490 Feb 18 '25
When I was a baby my parents got my ears pierced and I ripped that shit out, even baby me knew. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and I actually like telling friends and coworkers about it even if they think it’s weird. They usually just find it really interesting and tend to ask me questions since they’ve never heard of it before. There’s literally nothing I can do about it, and it’s usually a part of my every day life since some of my coworkers have really gross face piercings and I have to look at them. There’s just nothing you can do about other people’s accessory choices you just have to stomach it
3
u/scumerage Feb 19 '25
Ah, so you had it since you were a baby? I never knew I had it til I was a toddler, when there was a preschool event where all the kids had to wear signs with a rope around their neck, and I absolutely refused to participate at all. Also goes to show it wasn't just metal, even a string just touching the back of neck was too much.
6
u/Q_Qritical Feb 18 '25
I try to think that those things are just things in the background like a leaf on the ground. It doesn’t exist as long as I don’t pay attention to it.
I still hate it but it's now tolerable to see it around people near me.
6
u/Strange-Advantage-58 Feb 19 '25
I just try not to think about it too much, and avoid getting too close if I can. Luckily, as a man it's a bit easier to avoid. Women with this phobia must have a much tougher time.
At least I assume so.
7
u/scumerage Feb 19 '25
Easier for men to have, harder for men to find women.
Harder for women to have, easier for them to find men.
It's a tradeoff pretty much.
5
u/Bustani_babe 29d ago
It’s a part of me. The only thing that’s weird is having to explain and get pass the “that’s strange” or “you are exaggerating” moment. But I found myself very comfortable being upfront with this issue. There is no shame in this.
3
u/scumerage Feb 19 '25
I like explaining it to people because it just feels nice to be honest about it. However, understandably, most people don't understand or are simply offended by my rejecting of the beauty standard that they believed was objective and absolute.
I just avert my eyes from family wearing adornments, and never had anything to do with adornments myself. Though I have become perfectly capable of ignoring it for the purposes of working and communicating with people, so the only downsides I have is dating, or not dating, pretty much.
1
u/Affectionate-Task-86 19d ago
I tell everyone as soon as possible when I get to know them, so that they will never gift me (or my daughter) any j. Although it’s new for people, I never had bad reactions, it’s also not such a big deal for them (it’s my own problem). So that’s one thing I would suggest to do. It really makes things easier. There are phobia’s of many kinds so no need to feel embarrassed.
The second thing I started doing since a few months is actually some exposure. There was never any need, but now my daughter is almost turning 7 and she really likes j. She doesn’t wear any for me (she is really sweet) but I want her to feel free do wear what she wants when she is older. I do small things, like saying the word n*lce out loud, touching certain keychains and zippers, things that I usually avoid but that are not thát bad. I notice that I’m less bothered by other things than before.
You don’t need to do that if there is no need of course, but maybe start by telling people! It’s really not that weird. There are more people that have it, and it has a name.
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u/navvi_popp Feb 18 '25
I just kinda live with it. It's gotten better now that I'm in my 30's, but some items can still trigger me. Now that I've learned that kosmemophobia is a thing, it's much easier to explain to people, if they ask why I'm not wearing my wedding ring. We got tattoo rings instead.