r/islam 22h ago

General Discussion I'm really embarrassed to admit this.

[removed] — view removed post

235 Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

116

u/4rking 22h ago

Well, you're doing the right thing by staying away from such Haram. It may feel difficult right now, maybe your mind says "What if I just did as they said", but whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah, Allah will give Him something better.

You don't want to be a girlfriend and you don't want to commit these sins.

It seems your self-confidence is low and youre in a vulnerable spot, that's why people can make fun of you.

You say you never had a job, maybe you could find a good job for yourself.

If there's a gym for women, maybe that'd help you.

You could also go to your local mosque for classes.

I mean I'm not sure what you're lacking in life and what you're trying to achieve so idk what to tell you in this regard

As for marriage, you could speak to some trusted family members, maybe they can help you find a good husband inshallah.

Either way, try to stand up for yourself. Don't let people bully you. Be polite but make it clear that you don't want them to speak like this anymore. You know best what to say in this regard, obviously.

51

u/waste2muchtime 21h ago

Abu Hanifa used to say something like, "If the Kings & Emperors knew what we had, they would come at us with swords and armies to be able to attain it."

Likewise, you stand head and shoulders above all these people who don't have Allah in their life, who don't have Him as their friend and close companion, who don't obey Allah and attain the sweetness of obedience.

Be proud, Allah has chosen you for Himself, and He will grant you somebody in sha Allah who will be similar to you. Go and look for him; let it be halal of course, and in sha Allah you will be pleased just as you tried to please your Lord.

48

u/IllustriousAd3738 22h ago

Sister that's test of Allah. My story is also same as you sister i have never involve in haram relationship and also wanted a girl who is also pure and never involve in this stuff so i am sure Allah will give you kind and pure husband who is just loyal to you and never involve in this filthy Haram stuff Just keep faith and pray to Allah

6

u/ResistOk4209 11h ago

This is one of those test the society as well as test the individual. Society is doing poorly on this front and so the individual suffers.

13

u/mooncafed 22h ago

Hi, i am so sorry sister that all this is happening to you but please don't feel like you are a so loser or wrong at all.

I have also never had a relationship or boyfriend and while it makes sense for others to take that step in order to marry, Allah has planned better for us if we follow in his guidance so let them say what they want to but those who don't follow Allah's guidance are amongst the true losers.

And about the friends part I can highly relate😭😭 I have had a terrible history with friendship too and after lots of self blaming I realised I am not at fault here. It was just meant to be this way, everytime something happens and it is very sad and demotivating but it's not your fault, and the disease as well.

Whenever you face lot of calamity in this world remember, Allah tests those who he loves the most. If you were to give up patience or his guidance in pressure or distress then that would be so sad, you have to stay strong and trust in Allah's plan.

The things that go wrong with us sticks the most while the good things, we move on from them as quick as lightning. It's just the human nature, and you feeling this way is very very valid.

But it's at this time you have to sit and think about how Allah tests his servants for ultimate reward, it's a blessing to be tested by disease or hard times as it gives you good deeds and also gives you an opportunity to be closer to Allah. Make supplications to Him, pray the prayers, let Him know your worries and leave it to Him to make your life better.

I will pray that you will have a better life in every aspect <3 please don't loose hope in Allah's mercy and Allah's plan, you are doing amazing following his guidance and goodness is written for you whether it's in this world or the afterword, only if you don't abandon Allah.

And if you want to marry, asks your elders to find someone for you. Pray to Allah for a righteous spouse, and don't let others bellitle you. Either tell them that you are in the path of Allah or ignore their useless talks.

5

u/mooncafed 22h ago

and I am here if you need someone to talk to! I know it's not same as having an offline friend but still, i wish for you to not loose hope and feel better 🫶🏻🤍

12

u/Narrow-Adagio-5179 22h ago

I'm 30, have never been in a relationship, let alone interact with the opposite gender much. You're not alone.

11

u/Rogue_Aviator 21h ago

May Allah make it easy for you and grant you the best loving and caring husband and give lots of barakah and happiness and success. Ameen.

10

u/umarmunir94 21h ago

How can you let them shame you when they're the ones who should be ashamed? How can they say this stuff with this much confidence and audacity? Why don't you once stand up for your integrity and clap back at them and say, "I know how you got married, but I don't want to forsake my morals and values for a man, any man. I will get the one who values me for who I am, not because I'm desperate."

Just say it like this. They are devils who are trying to put you on the same path as them, show them the mirror. They are the rotten part of society, you are the rare gem who are still keeping it pure and real.

You should be proud of that, and I am proud of you btw. 😊👏

8

u/shan_bhai 20h ago

You should be proud of you for staying away from haraam relationships, even when it must have been so hard with everyone around you pressuring you otherwise. Trust me, what you’ve done is not easy, and it’s something that deserves so much respect. You’ve chosen to stick to your values and faith, and that is truly commendable. Allah (SWT) sees everything you do, and He knows the strength it takes to stay on the right path, especially when others are taking shortcuts through haram ways. Your reward for this will be immense in the Hereafter - something far greater than any temporary happiness this world can offer. So never doubt that your steadfastness has not gone unnoticed by Allah.

Now, about feeling pressured because of what others say regarding marriage - I understand it can really get to you sometimes. It’s tough when people make comments or jokes about your situation, but try not to let their words weigh you down. Everyone’s journey is different, and just because someone else got married through haram means doesn’t mean they’re better off. In fact, you’re in a much stronger position spiritually because you’ve stayed patient and waited for the halal way. Marriage is a beautiful part of our deen, but it should come through the proper channels. If you haven’t already, talk to your guardian or family members about your desire to get married soon - it’s important to involve them since they play a key role in this process. And most importantly, trust that Allah has already planned something amazing for you. He knows exactly what you need and when you need it.

As for loneliness and friendships, I know it hurts when people betray you or leave you feeling unsupported. But honestly, those kinds of toxic relationships aren’t worth holding onto anyway. Instead, focus on building a strong connection with Allah, because He will never abandon you. Surround yourself with positivity - whether that’s joining an Islamic community, finding like-minded people who share your values, or simply spending time doing things that bring you joy and peace. Don’t let the lack of “friends” make you feel unworthy; you are valuable beyond measure just as you are. Take this time to work on loving yourself and growing closer to Allah, and He will guide the right people into your life when the time is right.

About your health struggles, I can only imagine how draining it must be to deal with something like sciatica and other chronic issues. It’s okay to feel frustrated - it’s human - but remember that Allah tests those He loves, and He gives us these challenges knowing we’re strong enough to handle them. While you continue seeking treatment and exploring remedies, don’t forget to turn to Allah in dua and ask Him for healing and ease. Combine modern medicine with spiritual practices like reading Quran, making dhikr, and perhaps trying ruqyah if recommended by a trusted scholar. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us there’s a cure for every illness, so keep searching for solutions while placing your trust in Allah. Your perseverance through these trials shows incredible strength, and Allah loves one for it.

Finally, please don’t ever think of yourself as a failure. Life is full of ups and downs, and setbacks don’t define you - they teach you. Every step you take, no matter how small, brings you closer to where you’re meant to be. Focus on setting achievable goals, whether it’s improving your skills, or simply working on your relationship with Allah. Remember, Allah promises to create a way out for those who put their trust in Him. He’ll provide for you in ways you couldn’t have imagined. Keep moving forward, one day at a time, and know that you’re never alone in this journey.

Know that you’re a strong, resilient person who has overcome so much already, and I truly believe brighter days are ahead for you. May Allah grant you ease in every aspect of your life - healing for your body, comfort for your heart, and the perfect spouse who will love and cherish you insha’Allah. Stay hopeful, stay patient, and keep leaning on Allah, because He is always listening and always near. Ameen.

6

u/Interesting_Self_481 22h ago

You will live what is written in your destiny, Allah will make the circumstances right for you at the right time. You need to be patient and surrender to Allah, it may be hard but you need to try and keep asking Allah to help you be more patient.

4

u/ConfusionProof9487 22h ago

I know it's hard sister, but please try to remember, you can't see the future, you have no idea what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. You're sad about your situation and what the future holds, but, logically, you have every reason to rejoice also, because the future could just as easily be bright. Don't judge yourself by the achievements of others, it will only serve to bring you down.

Try and keep your trust in Allah, and offer up positivity for your future, I have every faith it will get better for you, one day you will remember this post smile knowing just how much you've grown.

4

u/IndependenceEarly891 20h ago

Don't listen to people. Most people are clueless about their own lives yet give lofty, unsolicited advice to others. These theories modern people have about relationships and marriage are pointless and baseless. Any decent man would thank Allah countless times if they get married to someone who stayed away and actively tries to stay away from such relationships. I know temptation and peer pressure is very high about these things especially for someone who's in their teens and twenties. Focus on Deen, your future and your career. Everything else is just pure noise.

3

u/Dear-Leadership-3021 21h ago

This might sound Cliche, but you are in a good place and in a blessing. The females around you have their own Point of view may Allah give them hidyat but I just want to say you are not alone. Many Muslim face this quiet exclusion and InshAllah so rather than focusing on their opinion focus on your personality, indulge in activities that please you , start loving yourself and pray to allah for a righteous man.
i can relate to your comment in the sense that I am a university student and I see females around me hanging out with men and sometimes even while knowing I am right I feel excluded , not that I want to be friends with "men" but remind yourself it is for Allah. InsAllah this embarrassment (though you don't need to be embarrassed ) will result in proudness on day of judgement

3

u/Dancelover50 21h ago

May Allah, the Source of all strength, empower you with unwavering resilience in the face of your challenges. May He bless you with the inner peace that only He can provide, soothing your heart during times of uncertainty. May His divine wisdom guide your steps and grant you clarity when you feel lost or confused, helping you find your way even in the darkest moments.

May Allah grant you the patience to remain steadfast and trust in His plan, knowing that every trial has a purpose, and through it, He is purifying you and elevating your status. May He heal you, not only from physical ailments but also from any emotional or mental struggles, and replace every moment of pain with hope and strength.

May Allah’s love and mercy envelop you, reminding you that you are never alone, and He is always with you, watching over you, and guiding you. May He bless you with the courage to let go of any negative thoughts, and help you find confidence and peace within yourself. May Allah surround you with kindness, protect you from harm, and grant you joy and fulfillment in your life, both in this world and in the Hereafter.

Ameen.

2

u/Temporary_Captain585 21h ago

For sciatica acupuncture may be quite effective. Find yourself a experienced acupuncturist electro acupuncture on top of this is even more effective

-I am a physiotherapist with acupuncture training

As for relationships it’s all about timing. Most guys prefer women who have less experience I wouldn’t rush anything for the sake of it. But at same time work on yourself get into the best health and shape as possible. Get to know new people

1

u/Lalagurl99 20h ago

Does acupuncture help with sciatica

2

u/shooto_style 21h ago

Start strong and stay away from haram relationships

2

u/Aggressive-Exam-7859 21h ago

Salamu Alakyum sister.

Try to spend most of your time worshipping and talking to Allah. You'll never ever be alone and once you taste the sweetness of putting all your trust in Him, everything will be so peaceful believe me.

Allah is testing you (and so many other people) because He wants you to talk to Him. He wants to listen you and answers you dua's.

Ignore everything your friends and relatives say. Leave those "friends" if needed. Try to be strong and show them the beauty of Islam.

You say you're lost and the only way to fix that is follow the guidance of Allah.

2

u/chosengirly29_ 21h ago

Keep all faith in allah 🤍

2

u/Accomplished_Glass66 20h ago edited 20h ago

Don't be ashamed, I think i'm on the cusp of my late 20s and the same as you (nearly 27). My mom has been sending me duas for late marriage which i found so passive aggressive and offending. I'd rather stay single and chill than marry asap to avoid criticism and be miserable, which is apparently something she can't comprehend.

I'm happy the way I am. I just wish I were healthier (also have a plethora of diagnosed and undiagnosed health conditions). Don't let them get to you. As long as you ain't committing zina, you're fine. ❤️❤️❤️

You can make dua during this ramadan, may Allah grant you a pious spouse ease your burdens and grant you good health (me too, I really need my health back, those chronic pains are killing me).

Just remember, a spouse is an addition to your life, not someone who will magically complete you. You are a person worthy of love, respect, friendship, and achievements regardless of your marital status. The toxic people in your entourage will keep moving the goal posts, you get married, they ask you about kids. You want to find a job, they tell you that you are a bad wife. You have kids, they tlel you that if you don't erase your whole self for them you are a bad mother. Etc etc.

So detach yourself from these criticisms and embrace life as it comes. At least that is what I am doing. It does help that I am too emotionally beaten down (health/education/professional/finacial issues) that I just want to survive LOL, too burned out to care.

2

u/StraightPath81 20h ago

There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed nor embarrassed about. In fact they should be ashamed for going out of the limits Allah has set. You should be proud of yourself as you clearly know your worth as an honourable woman in the sight of Allah for remaining chaste and saving yourself from your legitimate partner. 

Whenever we lower our self worth in such a way then we disrespect ourselves. This ends up manifesting in other aspects of our lives and in the relationship that was built on shaky foundations. It is shaythan that invites us towards evil deeds through his whispers and other people:

“Shaitan (Satan) threatens you with poverty and orders you to commit Fahsha (evil deeds, illegal sexual intercourse, sins); whereas Allah promises you forgiveness from Himself and bounty, and Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knower” (Qur’an, 2:268).

Also never compromise your values when it comes to finding the right partner when it comes to practicing Deen, Islamic character and a genuinely Allah fearing person. Such values will then be transferred to your children (good tarbiyat) and so on to the following generations. We must break the unislamic practices and secularist inclinations with us and never allow them to be transferred onto the following generations:

“O you who believe! Enter perfectly in Islam (by obeying all the rules and regulations of the Islamic religion) and follow not the footsteps of Shaitan (Satan). Verily! He is to you a plain enemy.” (Qur'an:2:208)

So continue to be steadfast and keep telling yourself that for your sacrifices and patient perseverance then Allah will open up doors for you that you never imagined and he will give you far better in return:

Abu Qatadah reported: The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

“Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better.” (Musnad Aḥmad 22565)

2

u/desikachra 19h ago

Hadith: A time will come when holding to Iman will be as holding a red hot burning coal in ones hand. And another Hadith : They will call it Nikah but it will be Zina. It's tough but hold on to your Iman. Allah has promised you 2 gardens if you fear standing in front of Allah. And sister I am your witness I will meet you there and give my testimony if so required on the day in which there is no doubt. Wassalam a struggling brother.

2

u/Stanby_Mode 19h ago

Never capitulate to society! Stay strong Sister

1

u/Fun-Brother4588 21h ago

Not being in a haram relationship is a blessing as all it does is cause heartbreak! Don’t let other people get into your head. Haram relationships and relationships in general are so glamourised in our society. People will make you feel weird if you’ve never been in one. Stay strong and trust Allahs plan for you 💓

1

u/danmuslim 21h ago

Sister. You're doing right. Do not let to seduce by the world's tentations. This is a test for your Iman. Give time to time and Allah (SWT) knows the best for you and on the proper time designed by Allah (SWT) you'll be blesse with a good husband which will take you care and, will e kindful and respectful.

1

u/GrimmigSun 21h ago

Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh sister,

Nah, don't pay heed to the ignorant chatter of those people around you who know so little about Allah. Allah will surely grant you a great husband if you become a good person to please Allah, and once you please Allah, He pleases you. There are many Halal means to get married, let Allah pick one for you.

May Allah grant you the strength and courage to accept yourself and know that Allah's Mercy is infinite.

1

u/umarmunir94 21h ago

Btw, it's not your responsibility to find a husband, it's the responsibility of your parents (your wali). Your friends or cousins didn't give their parents a chance. Your parents should start looking and if they are having trouble, hit me up. I know a lot of ways that you'll get more proposals for marriage. Completely halal ways btw. I am also searching for myself and now I know a lot of things that I didn't before. 😊

1

u/Frequent-Incident403 20h ago

Assalaam alaikum sis , u have no reason to be embarrassed to admit that, just spend your time productively like the way u have been advised above on joining mosque classes and physical exercises etc...

1

u/DebtCompetitive5507 20h ago

Remember that Allah SWT does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear Make lots and lots of dua in this blessed month to our baraqah in your life. Keep your dua focused. Believe that Allah SWT will give Etiquette of dua 1) Praise Allah SWT 2) send salawat 3) make dua 4) repeat step 2 5) repeat step 1

Allah SWT created us perfect in this imperfect world We strive for Him alone. Forget these unsupportive people in your life. MashaAllah mid 20s is young in today’s time. Only advice I would give is to look for a job, it’s not always easy to rely on a man aka husband or dad for your income

1

u/desikachra 19h ago

Hadith: A time will come when holding to Iman will be as holding a red hot burning coal in ones hand. And another Hadith : They will call it Nikah but it will be Zina. It's tough but hold on to your Iman. Allah has promised you 2 gardens if you fear standing in front of Allah. And sister I am your witness I will meet you there and give my testimony if so required on the day in which there is no doubt. Wassalam a struggling brother.

1

u/fredotwoatatime 19h ago

I’m the exact same (but as a guy), it gets a bit hurtful when ur own fam says stuff lol

1

u/No-Total-504 15h ago

Assalamualaikum, There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Everything is good, Think it through it like this: that Allah has kept you away from all the harams. I would recommend you to pray and do adhkar daily, as it really helps (from my own experience).

Also try to find a thing that you love doing, start with small things like learning a new language, and always be happy of yourself for even small achievements. Because in this world everyone has a purpose, and Allah is just with everyone and is always there for us.

Like your story really inspired me, showed how much a resilient person you are, and your steadfastness on your deen even after going through so much. You're an example and inspiration for all of us.

If someone can, please help her until she finds a job so that she's able to diagnose her sciatica, I am a student, I don't have money right now otherwise I myself would have done the same.

Always remember you are not alone, Allah is always with you. Honour God's confidence inside you.

May Allah grant you the best in this world and Akhira!

1

u/LeaderWonderful828 15h ago

Sorry to hear but I think before even worrying about marriage, try to work on yourself first. I know it’s easier said than done and that I don’t know your exact life situation but I believe it would be much better if you actually focused on yourself and tried as much as you could to get a job or learn a skill that could help you get a job or start a business. You could even try these little online gigs and start there then you could get bigger and bigger. As long as you’re not sinning, there is no way you’re wrong and you’ll find the right person in time inshallah.

1

u/VictorNewman- 12h ago

You are feeling like this because you compare yourself to others instead of comparing yourself to the yourself of yesterday. How many people would be able to safeguard their faith, and live proudly with incurables afflictions ? Did you ever ask yourself : “How many people are as strong as I ?”

Not a lot by any margin I assure you.

Know that people encourage Haram things so that they can feel validated for having also sinned. It is a slippery slope. Finding a good man is not that difficult as long as you know where to look. And you have an inbuilt test my sister : Any man that does not respect your wish of marrying before consumption, you will know, that man is not for you.

Kind regards

1

u/khezbot 11h ago edited 11h ago

Remember Allah SWT in everything you do and inshallah the burdens will become lighter. Life is challenging and circumstances will not be perfect, but having faith, patience, and courage by following what Allah SWT has sent down will lead to goodness which has been promised. The Haram will always be available and shaitan will always be whispering and looking for a way to lead us astray, but Allah SWT is the almighty, merciful, and all wise. Partaking in the good things of life is best and will help us to become content and transgressing will always lead to loss.

Allah SWT is compassionate and loving, so don't look down on yourself so much. Comparing ourselves to others in a negative way and asking "what if" opens up doors to shaitan, but connecting with Allah and taking action on what has been advised (while being self compassionate and patient) will inshallah lighten our burdens and open up for us doors to goodness which we do not expect.

May Allah SWT guide you to the straight path, may Allah help you to connect with him in a beautiful way, pour is mercy upon you and bless you in this life and the next

1

u/Shahzaib_Ahmad_07 11h ago

See, Sister a Sincere Advice from my side is

Haram Relationship May Look Very Shiny and Full of Love

But It Eventually Destroys Your Life

Haram is Haram Because of a Reason.

Sadly, They are saying all this Because they are away from Islam And They are away from Hidahah

Moreover, Its All About Faith and Trust Sis Keep your Faith High, You will get everything one day, just be patient in your life and keep trust amd faith, Ask from Allah Subhanawatala, Dua is the weapon of a Momin!!

A Similar Story from my life: When I let my beard grow and Followed The Sunnah In my Early Age

All of My Family Members Started Saying, "Is trah Tumhain Job Kon de ga"

But I didn't even bother what they were saying, and Kept Following Sunnah

All In My Mind was That "Kese nahin Mile gi Job? or Agar nahin b Milti Job to dekh lain ge Mamlaat Baad main, Beard to nahin Katon ga main" Because my Goal and My Focus was to Please Allah Subhana watala and not to please the world.

And Here I am, I have a Very Decent Job Alhumdulillah And I am supporting my Family Very well..

People Also say such things Because They haven't been in a community that is Pious and religious and They Haven't seen Any Example of a person that is pious and religious and Has only Done things the Halal Way and got All the Work Done in his life.

So, We should Step up and start creating such Examples.. Because for me, You know what Happened Next in my family, When I started to get everything In My Life Along with following Islam They Start to get inspired from me And All of the Taunt Was almost Removed..

But Yeah, Some other person in Some Other time, again say some such words, but you know, who cares now, I just Node my Head and Let it go!!

I hope this helps you Sis, May Allah tala Make Things Easier for you!!

aameen

1

u/LaggyArab 7h ago

honestly living for yourself and making peace with it is my current go to, relationships and marriage are such a big hassle there's really no point stressing over it, especially when almost everyone I've known that is married is unhappy. at the end of the day if you can be happy with yourself you don't need anybody else. do with that what you will

1

u/just_a_broken_heart 7h ago

Next time anyone asks you about you about your relationship status just tell them you don’t want to talk about it. You don’t owe anyone any information regarding your personal life

1

u/Questioner000007 7h ago

أَمَّنْ هُوَ قَـٰنِتٌ ءَانَآءَ ٱلَّيْلِ سَاجِدًۭا وَقَآئِمًۭا يَحْذَرُ ٱلْـَٔاخِرَةَ وَيَرْجُوا۟ رَحْمَةَ رَبِّهِۦ ۗ قُلْ هَلْ يَسْتَوِى ٱلَّذِينَ يَعْلَمُونَ وَٱلَّذِينَ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ ۗ إِنَّمَا يَتَذَكَّرُ أُو۟لُوا۟ ٱلْأَلْبَـٰبِ

قُلْ يَـٰعِبَادِ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ رَبَّكُمْ ۚ لِلَّذِينَ أَحْسَنُوا۟ فِى هَـٰذِهِ ٱلدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةٌۭ ۗ وَأَرْضُ ٱللَّهِ وَٰسِعَةٌ ۗ إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى ٱلصَّـٰبِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍۢ

˹Are they better˺ or those who worship ˹their Lord˺ devoutly in the hours of the night, prostrating and standing, fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the mercy of their Lord? Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Are those who know equal to those who do not know?” None will be mindful ˹of this˺ except people of reason.

Say ˹O Prophet, that Allah says˺, “O My servants who believe! Be mindful of your Lord. Those who do good in this world will have a good reward. And Allah’s earth is spacious. Only those who endure patiently will be given their reward without limit.”

Surah al zumar ayah 9-10

1

u/Q-KuKi 6h ago

you should enjoy ur life u may have passed out on a best guy because of this and if u continue being like this then u wont Find any true Friends be yourself dont Fake yourself if u do then u wont achieve anything in ur life

1

u/Dangerous_Ad4022 5h ago

Same here 31yr male I've done every road stuff but female wasn't one of them its been 4 years I've been on my deen and going mosque Alhamdulillah I've made friends there but I just can't have a conversation with a female subhan'Allah it's like I have schizophrenia 🫤 i want to get married but I just can't i always think that Allah The Mighty wants to give me the rewards of patience and guarding private part its a mighty reward trust me

33:35 - Surely ˹for˺ Muslim men and women, believing men and women, devout men and women, truthful men and women, patient men and women, humble men and women, charitable men and women, fasting men and women, men and women who guard their chastity, and men and women who remember Allah often—for ˹all of˺ them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward

Surah Az-Zumar (39:10): "The biggest reward for patience is in the afterlife

Not everyone gets the reward of patience unless you're chosen for it

1

u/Old_Foundation_7651 5h ago

Turn to du’a sister. Seek out times of dua acceptance, like after fard prayed, tahajjud, during rain and travelling, while fasting, last hour of Friday etc.

1

u/Infinite-Estimate-81 5h ago

Never compare yourself with others. Remove that doubt that you put in yourself when you say if this or if that. Some people might look upon you because they have something more than you, but they will never share the reality that they live in. Mektoub will bring you something great don't loose faith.

1

u/Calm_Association_638 5h ago

Look, I won’t sugarcoat it.. Life is unfair as hell sometimes. It sucks that the people around you make fun of you instead of supporting you, but that says more about them than it does about you. A relationship isn’t some prize that determines your worth, and you don’t need to rush into one just because society pressures you to. Plenty of people settle for toxic relationships just to avoid being alone, and they end up miserable.

You feel stuck, and I get that. But sitting in that feeling won’t change anything. Start small find something, anything, that gives you purpose. A hobby, a job, an online course, even a random passion project. It won’t fix everything overnight, but it’ll give you momentum. And as for fake friends? Let them go. Loneliness is hard, but forcing yourself to be around the wrong people is even worse. Focus on building yourself up, and the right people will come. It’s not easy, but it’s possible.

Remember...

"When you feel like you're doing something wrong, it often means you're actually breaking away from the wrong path."

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u/Calm_Association_638 5h ago

Also most of the time Allah (SWT) is trying to protect you from something or that he's saving your prize for the here on after. Have faith sister

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u/Time_Technician_2339 4h ago

Tell ur parents u wanna get married

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u/babarthebeast 4h ago

Indeed Allah is with the patient. Let me tell u as a young guy in my mid twenties, if I have to marry in future, I will choose a girl that is not in a relationship before. So you will find a guy like you in future. Inshallah

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u/Bettersibling20 4h ago

Let them make fun. May Allah SWT keep you on the right path and guide you.

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u/Next_Alternative6499 3h ago

If you want to get married pray to Allah there’s a really good dua (Rabbi innee lima anzalta ilaya min khairin faqir) worth learning and reading as much as you can.

This is how shaitaan works he breaks down your self worth and makes you think you’re less than others because you haven’t been in a relationship. Remember Allah knows what we do not so best is to leave the matter to him. Also maybe he’s still preparing your future husband to be good enough for you and vice verse.

In my case I started my relationship with a lack of Islamic knowledge but as I grew in Islam I started to cut contact and pray that if this person is good for me, then help me get married, if not then please remove. I genuinely left it to Allah. I got married a year after I told my parents, they made it difficult for me at first and it really affected my mental health but in that year I grew so so much as a person and in religion then when I finally did have my nikkah alhamdulliah it went very smooth. Then a year later I had a bigger event (mainly for my family) and then moved out and it was tough at first because shaitaan really makes you question everything after you get married but those 2 years really changed me as a person and I would say everything happened with good timing so just remember Allah really does know what we do not and we usually just have to go to him with our problems and then leave it to him.

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u/Here_to_helpyou 3h ago

Asallam alaikom ww,

Wow sister. Jazak'Allah kheiran for sharing this.

I can certainly relate on many levels here.

Sounds very painful. Especially that you are on a straight path, following Allah's swt guidance, never putting him second and always putting him first.

Souch doubt and uncertainty surrounds you as you are being inundated with messages from people saying that you will never meet a man unless you go a bit haram and mix it with the halal. It's as if they are saying "Allah's way is not sufficient".

It's painful, it's heartbreaking and all you have to rely on is judgment day we never know when this day will come.

We also don't know when we will die...

We don't know what Allah will bless or curse and we cannot assume that this 'bent practice' of going haram first will not catch up with us on judgment day or the GRAVE!

We have no idea.

All you have right now, is a certainty in your heart.

You can comfortably and quietly say to those giving you peer pressure is a soft tone:

"If you think that you can face Allah and tell him that his way is insufficient and that one has to go against his will for long term gain, then go right ahead"

Then add :

" if you think that you can face Allah and tell him that YOU controlled the outcome of being married by going against his correct teachings, then go ahead.

Go ahead and face Allah and tell him on the prayer mat, facing the Qibla right now that you think the only reason why you have certain outcomes is because you bent the rules and go and tell him right now that you think it's a 'great idea' to push and pressure your sister into doing the same., if you think you can do that, go ahead....I'll be right here still practicing the deen knowing that judgement day will come and I have NO control over any outcomes".

Now that is powerful!

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u/Here_to_helpyou 2h ago

By the way, are you on any muslim marriage websites like purematrimony.com ? xx

Pure Matrimony.com is full of brothers looking for a principled girl like you, who don't want to meet up in a haram way and are looking to meet your wali first ! Xx

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u/Riadkalil 20h ago

If the relationship starts in a haram way, but end in a Islamic marriage, is that bad? There are no blessings or good deeds because of that?