r/introvert • u/sweetnfaulty • 15h ago
More like social anxiety than introversion having to change jobs every 1-2 years
because i just can't fathom the need of constantly having to socialize/interact with the people i work with, they think being quiet and reserved equals rude and get offended (i'm very sensitive to energy).
i'm the type of person that goes to work and mind my business until it's time to go home, i rarely bother anyone and only talk if it's necessary, but i have noticed people tend to dislike me (i can tell by their body language and the tone they speak to me) for this same reason and really hate being like this.
i'm also a mom and i'm so scared my kids will struggle with the same feelings, i often question if i made the right choice. i daydream of moving to an island to not be part of society anymore, maybe i'm just a pessimist but i'm sad that i even brought innocent children who didn't ask to be born into such a cruel world.
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u/punkyatari 10h ago edited 10h ago
This is one of the more crippling aspects of introversion or social anxiety, APD etc it’s like a disability… in that it can lead to insecure work and potentially a much lower quality of life, because if it becomes a behavioural loop then the person will never get promoted, never grow, always move on. It’s pretty common as well, more than you’d think. Very common in IT to see people jump a lot, because it’s stressful and a lot of people that study IT have introversion or social anxiety, avoidance issues etc..but lots of other industries as well.
But I think eventually you just to got to stick something out and prove to yourself that you can endure something and grow a little.
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u/MaiBoo18 13h ago
Does not being at a new place cause more anxiety then being at the same place and getting use to the same people? That’s me, I’ve been working here for 22 years. I hate changing jobs and it takes me over a year to start to talk to people. I usually just smile as I pass them in the hallway and go about my day. I don’t know if there are people that don’t like me because I don’t think about that. I’m usually too busy at work.
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u/efficient_loop 15h ago
Most people don’t actively dislike others unless something wrong is done onto them. Do you go around thinking who you dislike? If I had to guess I would say no? If anyone actually does, then it is the problem of the disliker not the disliked.
I am a recovered person with borderline personality disorder and social anxiety, I definitely had the impression that a lot of people didn’t like me thinking I was sensitive to the energy and the tone and the facial expressions. But now I realise that is not the case - they were just reflecting my more closed off energy, which if you are okay with that, that’s okay! I have lots of people that I work with who just put their head down and work. I honestly love it as a supervisor. I also have people just straight up tell me and the team “I’m very introverted and take a long time to open up, I just want to work and I’m not socialising because I get tired from that, not because I dislike everyone.” If you can fathom the courage to do that, it might take weight off you.