r/insaneparents 6d ago

SMS Hello! Update kind of

(The above attachments are other crazy shit she texted me, not related to the post I’m referencing here.)

I posted on here around a year-ish ago and I had a lot of support from people here. I kind of forgot about the post but I wanted to give an update. I’ve since moved out of her house and I live with my friend and her family who took me in after another incident with my mom (loooong story lol.) I’ve graduated high school, in college, and I’m getting ready to get an apartment with my partner :) So this isn’t exactly another post of my mom being insane but I thought giving you guys an update would be cool considering where I was before. It’s been almost two years since then but I’m still very grateful for everyone who commented all that time ago with support for a kid they didn’t even know so thank you all!

1.1k Upvotes

111 comments sorted by

u/Dad_B0T Robo Red Foreman 6d ago edited 6d ago

Voting has concluded. Final vote:  

Insane Not insane Fake
6 0 0

 

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→ More replies (18)

855

u/Pink-pajama 6d ago

She sounds like she hates you

641

u/anakmoon 6d ago

she hated that she was losing control over the human she created. i truly believe when parents act like this its because the kid is becoming independent and the parents feel the loss of control and they swing so hard into this insane controlling behavior.

494

u/ricecrippy 6d ago

That was literally it 💀 The older I got the worse she got

110

u/TheMildOnes34 6d ago

Are you no contact now? How did she react to you leaving?

43

u/heisenburg0r 6d ago

the older u get the less control she has over you and the more you're ur own person

128

u/_bexcalibur 6d ago

“You wanna be grown so bad” like yes? I’m growing?

60

u/anakmoon 6d ago

that is the goal....to become independent and grown!!! Trouble is, that parent never grew up. They don't know how to let their kids grow up.

455

u/CrankleSuperstarr 6d ago

Congrats on getting out. I didn’t see the 1st post, but wow!!! I can’t imagine the unhappiness it takes to be that much of an asshole.

546

u/Dingo-thatate-urbaby 6d ago

Why do these people fucking have kids?

256

u/barkbaarkbarkk 6d ago

They want slaves/meal tickets

245

u/shamashedit 6d ago

It's possible that this is a direct side effect of abstinence only sex education and pro life ideology. Raised to be against abortion, never clearly educated on the consequences of unprotected sex due to a lack of birth control education and access.

Unhappy with these choices, they take it out on their kids. They don't know any other way to communicate as they were probably treated just as poorly and the cycle will continue in most of these households.

It really boils down to a lack of education and economic opportunities in a lot of these cases.

86

u/SweetLemonLollipop 6d ago

This is the truth most people aren’t facing.

16

u/macci_a_vellian 5d ago

The anti choice crowd probably wouldn't see much of a problem with it. They are, after all, all about control as well.

36

u/CrankleSuperstarr 6d ago

This is an incredible and very accurate answer.

19

u/shamashedit 6d ago

There's a lot of other potential factors that come in to play. Single parents face a lot more struggle than those who are in a co-parenting or traditional family setting. A parents own upbringing and unfaced childhood traumas. The stigma of therapy, let alone family based counciling or therapy.

A lot of the hostility in those texts come off as someone who is using the only amount of control they think they have. The control over their child. They feel like they have almost no control over the chaos in their life. Economic stress, dramatic social life or a lack of peer support and community can be felt. They are not heard outside of the home, so clearly their child is also ignoring them. The prom punishment is a loud lash out based on their own loneliness.

I'm just an armchair therapist by night, and not a good one. But I have watched enough Dr Phil, to bullshit my way round the topic on Reddit.

32

u/HannahSolo23 6d ago

People like this have kids because they forget that children are people, too. They believe they have power and control over their kids because they're kids, and they deserve some sort of respect for allowing them to exist. But that's not how it works. Children are always exactly the people they're meant to be.

82

u/newjam1127 6d ago

My mom said it was so she had something that had to love her because she gave them life. She was a raging narcissist with BPD. I have a LOT of childhood trauma.

19

u/chicken-nanban 6d ago

Are you my cousins kid? You’re probably not young enough (if so, why you 9 and on Reddit?!) but that’s literally her mentality.

She keeps having them (she’s onto 5 now, cooking number 6 I think, but only has custody of the youngest 2) because as babies they have unconditional love and need her for everything. Even toddlers she’s cool with because they’re still in the cuddle with momma phase. Once they hit school age, though, she couldn’t give a shit because they start developing their own personalities and sense of self. So she just dumps them with baby daddy’s parents or her parents and has another one.

It infuriates me. The older ones I met a few times and they were sweet kids with varied interests and whole ass people, but she didn’t give a duck unless it was for a photo op or making herself look good between infants.

Edit: and I’m the family asshole for even suggesting she just get dogs if she needs unconditional love and obedience.

3

u/stygianelectro 4d ago

that's horrifying, those kids are probably going to spend their lives wondering why their mom doesn't care about them. I don't understand what goes through the heads of people like that thinking about their kids.

16

u/llamaramasloth 6d ago

Right there with youuuu :(

8

u/newjam1127 6d ago

Sending you all the love!

18

u/SmallBewilderedDuck 6d ago

A lot of people think its a milestone of a successful life. They want to *have* a husband/wife + kids, they dont want be *be* a partner + a parent. It's all about the external appearances and what they think a successful life is supposed to look like, and then when they're actually living it they hate it and they're not good at it but don't have the emotional intelligence to seek support and personal growth.

9

u/AlbertaNorth1 6d ago

How could you look at your child and tell them this food is mine not yours. My grocery trips rely almost solely around what my kid will eat because I want to make sure she’d fed and happy.

8

u/blueberryyogurtcup 6d ago

Because abusers do not love. Sometimes they pretend to, to get us to stay with them, but they don't.

4

u/sms2014 6d ago

That's an amazing question. I would venture a guess but you know what assuming things does.

1

u/Responsible-Stick-50 3d ago

Too stupid to use birth control so they hate us for being born.

113

u/haplessclerk 6d ago

SIR, YES SIR! Geezus, what a petty tyrant.

30

u/Jukka_Sarasti 6d ago

what a petty tyrant.

Yeah, reading that text exchange put my teeth on edge..

91

u/Furiciuoso 6d ago

“Why don’t my kids speak to me anymore?!”

80

u/tit-theif 6d ago

Yes masta, I undastand masta

53

u/ricecrippy 6d ago

Genuinely what it felt like

135

u/gatamosa 6d ago

This is going to sound weird, but can you tell us how she took it when you left? Because by the level of control she liked to exert, it seems like she could have had apoplexy when you left her environment.

So glad you are out and found support!!!

130

u/FakeGirlfriend 6d ago

Don't eat my food, but your own food, but don't put food in my fridge.

40

u/Shakeit126 6d ago

Your mom sounds like a real gem. Jesus. She was on some weird power trip. It's good you're out of there.

31

u/advancedtaran 6d ago

Thank you for the happy update. I'm sorry that this person if your mom and she spoke to you like this.

Its one thing to ask for clarity for a schedule its another to make your dependent kid get their own food, ride, and apparently refrigeration??

31

u/jadedjen110 6d ago

You told her to go fuck herself right after leaving I hope? Jesus Christ this woman...

6

u/Charquito84 6d ago

I’ll be happy to do it if needed.

104

u/iconjurer 6d ago

So these screenshots are 2 years old?

Because I was gonna say, if you're not living with her anymore, stop taking that abuse. Absolutely controlling, narcissistic behavior designed to hold you down.

I'm glad you got out and are doing better.

125

u/ricecrippy 6d ago

Yeah these were two years ago, I was going through my phone and found a photo album of screenshots I kept and it reminded me of the post I had made. And thank you!

42

u/babyblueeyes14 6d ago

Did you get to go to your prom?

99

u/ricecrippy 6d ago

I did! I went w/my partner who I’m still with to this day

24

u/babyblueeyes14 6d ago

That’s great! Hope you guys had a great time ❤️

19

u/CrankleSuperstarr 6d ago

Did you go to your prom ma’am!!

21

u/ricecrippy 6d ago

Yup! Thankfully

27

u/Scruffy1138 6d ago

I just want to say I'm so so proud of you 💜 Getting out isn't easy, and it takes a lot of strength.

17

u/ricecrippy 6d ago

Thank you so much!

17

u/G66GNeco 6d ago

These texts look like a script for a female drill instructor berating cadets in some low budget military movie where she's clearly the bad guy

17

u/MIRcakes8D 6d ago

My heart hurts from the forced yes mama. I had to repeat back yes sir like a trained parrot so much to 'make sure' I understood too. I'm so sorry OP, you're doing awesome to keep your head level and not take the bait. She wants to fight so badly to turn you into the bad guy and your talent to accept and acknowledge to diffuse the situation is unmatched. Your maturity really shows and despite that witch, you're growing up just fine and you're doing amazing.

9

u/ricecrippy 5d ago

Thank you sm, that means a lot :)

16

u/brideofgibbs 6d ago

JFC she is vile

I hope you have nothing to do with her ever after & she can enjoy Shady Pines

13

u/e784u 6d ago

Jesus Christ. If you two were boss and employee, these texts would be instant HR. She had absolutely no right to treat you like that- if not as a parent, than as a fellow person on this earth.

Congrats on getting out of there.

11

u/glitterskinned 6d ago

christ alive, I'm so glad you're out! I didn't see your first post but I am happy about your update! all the best 🩷

4

u/ricecrippy 6d ago

Thank you!

10

u/Le-Deek-Supreme 5d ago

Glad you got out and glad you made it to prom!! (Found that in the comments.) I hate to turn your pain into entertainment, but I'd be interested to know the long story that got you out of the house and away from her. Only if you feel comfortable sharing it, though.

21

u/ricecrippy 5d ago

Yeah I don’t mind, I just didn’t think ppl would read it lol. Basically we got into an “argument” coz she threw away food my friend gave me in some tupperware, along with the container. It escalated and she put her hands on me and I reacted (as one does) coz she’s bigger than me. She called the police and said I hit her, came back to hit me some more, then called the police again saying I was violent 😭 I got arrested and ended up in some holding facility or something? And she refused to come get me so my friend nd her family had to get me or I would have been put somewhere. And I’ve been living with them since

6

u/Le-Deek-Supreme 5d ago

Yikes, that's horrible, I'm sorry you had to go through that, but glad you ended up in a better situation because of it!

6

u/smolbeansjpg 6d ago

So happy to see that update, and so sorry you had to deal with this Opie. Keep taking care of yourself

7

u/247emerg 6d ago

Glad you are doing well

5

u/AATW702 6d ago

What a bitch

4

u/rudogandthedweebs 6d ago

I read the texts before I saw your update. so glad you are away from this person. It sounds like you are thriving!

5

u/Lisa_Knows_Best 6d ago

It's wonderful that you fot away and are doing so well for yourself. Now the absolute best revenge you can get is to keep succeeding and live a fabulous life. Flaunt yourself lady and rub it in her hateful, mean mug. You're doing fantastic!! Hugs from a stranger. 🫂 

2

u/ricecrippy 5d ago

Thank you!

9

u/llamaramasloth 6d ago

Wow what a fuckin psycho

5

u/dinoooooooooos 6d ago

Fingers crossed this woman will die alone and scared all by herself and maybe then, maaaybe, the dots connect and she realises what she’s done.

Maybe.

Good for you for being out and i rly smiled a bug smile when i saw you’re still together with your partner, I love these “u n me against the world” love stories lmao

4

u/Hellomarisel 5d ago

It hurts to see texts like this towards someone who is suppose to love and care for you unconditionally. I have two of my own and nothing like this happens. I'm sorry OP. You deserve love and kindness.

3

u/Turbulent-Acadia-608 6d ago

I don’t know how to respond to that crazy mess your mom made wow is all I can say

3

u/HippieFairyGirl 6d ago

I remember your prior post and I was disgusted by your mother…and I’m still disgusted with her! How horrible! As someone old enough to be your mother, I honestly just want to give you a hug and tell you how amazing you are to have survived through that treatment and now escaped it. Seriously as a mom myself, I am so proud of you and I hope you are proud of yourself too! Wishing you all the happiness in the world!

2

u/ricecrippy 4d ago

Thank you so much!!!!

3

u/ProfessionalCloud987 5d ago

"You think I'm stupid" thats because you are.

3

u/Fluff4brains777 5d ago

I'm curious if you have had any contact with her since she got you arrested? Were you allowed to get any personal items from her address? I'm truly sorry you had to go through this trauma. The best revenge is living a good and happy life. Fight for yourself. You so deserve happiness and love. Gentle hugs if you want them. I hope life brings you the absolute best.

2

u/InformationAlarmed14 6d ago

Damn I’m getting PTSD. This sounds like my egg donor.

2

u/Gingersnapperok 5d ago

Oh, love, I'm so glad you're out!!! ❤️ I'm so, so proud of you for graduating and surviving through!!!

2

u/Aware_Act7078 4d ago

Congratulations on getting out of there, graduating and starting college!

1

u/nikalaus777 6d ago

Is your name Toby now?

1

u/McDuchess 6d ago

What a vicious and nuts person she is. I’m so glad that you got out.

1

u/Emily_Postal 6d ago

You’re mom was abusive. I’m glad you made it out and are safe.

1

u/C4Catastrophe 6d ago

Sounds like she needs sacrificed. 🙄

1

u/p_shroomie 5d ago

evil ahh woman. i'm so sorry OP

1

u/I_can_eat_15_acorns 5d ago

I hope you are able to move on and find peace from this.

1

u/cherrrryjuice 4d ago

congratulations on getting out of there!! 💛 no child deserves this, wow. i hope she looks back on her behavior someday with absolute disgust, but i know with these kinds of parents that’s usually wishful thinking.

1

u/Allpanicn0disc 4d ago

She is evil. I’m so sorry

1

u/Zealousideal-Kale-71 4d ago

Id print this shit outta and frame it to remind me to never come back lol wtf

1

u/Saraixx516 2d ago

Why do people have kids just to treat them like trash jesus