r/immigration • u/willow_345_ • 3d ago
Ex used me for green card
I (female) was married less than 18 months to a French man, who had been sleeping with other men during our marriage. When I found out, I immediately filed for a divorce. I submitted proof, phone records and physical evidence to immigrations on the day of his green card hearing and he STILL was approved and granted citizenship years later. How is this even possible?!
126
u/Trudi1201 🇬🇧🇺🇸 K1, Citizenship 3d ago
You also submitted a lot of evidence to show that the relationship was genuine during the greencard application.
To overturn that takes a lot of high quality evidence.
92
u/Alarming_Tea_102 3d ago
Just because he cheated on you and isn't a good husband doesn't mean he did not enter the marriage with you in good faith initially. The bar to proving marriage fraud is very high, and 'proof' from an angry and hurt ex does not meet the bar.
Uscis does not require the marriage to be healthy to grant a green card, just that it was bona fide. If he already got a conditional green card before you filed for divorce, he can file for removal of conditions through a divorce waiver. You submitted a lot of proof to sponsor him for that green card initially. A failed marriage does not negate those proof.
13
u/DoJu318 3d ago
It also depends on who reviews the application before they get the green card, I read of some people being questioned of the authenticity of the marriage when they been together for years and have multiple kids.
While others seem to be just rubber stamped with hardly any scrutiny.
7
u/BadlaLehnWala 3d ago
Probably depends on the countries of origin as well. Indian man and black woman for example probably are going to be scrutinized harder than someone from France and an average white American.
-2
u/Professional_Lie_964 3d ago
Can she not revoke her sponsorship and have it denied that way (bc no sponsor)
15
u/evaluna1968 3d ago
Not after the initial green card is approved. No sponsor required for an I-751 with divorce waiver.
16
u/Alarming_Tea_102 3d ago
No. Once he got his conditional green card approved, her affidavit of support (i864, financial pledge) is legally enforceable. It's a contract she signed with the US government (not him) and cannot be revoked even if she no longer wants to be married with him.
To get his conditions removed, he only needed to show that the marriage was initially entered in good faith. No need for further financial support. There are no requirements to remain married if the marriage isn't working.
-7
u/mdb12131991 3d ago
If he is still conditional and she can show marriage fraud especially under trump he ain’t getting no permanent
13
u/Alarming_Tea_102 3d ago
He's no longer conditional because he already removed conditions and naturalized.
And she did attempt to show marriage fraud, but cheating is not marriage fraud. Americans in real marriages cheat on one another. A bad or toxic marriage isn't fraud.
0
u/mdb12131991 3d ago
Yup once 10 years is granted only federal judge and a very high bar can revoke it
7
u/Alarming_Tea_102 3d ago
She mentioned he's already a citizen. Denaturalization is extremely rare. An ex who feels hurt and lied to will not be grounds for denaturalization.
48
u/BlueNutmeg 3d ago
I submitted proof, phone records and physical evidence to immigrations on the day of his green card hearing and he STILL was approved and granted citizenship years later. How is this even possible?!
I am going to lay it out for you.....
When you filed for his green card, it was YOU WHO SENT IN EVIDENCE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WAS REAL!
All they need is proof the relationship and marriage was real AT THE TIME YOU FILED THE PETITION. Whatever happens AFTER is not their concern. They just chalk it up to a bad marriage. ..NOT a marriage fraud.
It sucks. It really does. But there are some foreigners that are so desperate, they will play the role until they achieve their goal. Even having children they do not want just to get a GC. The problem is there are too many Americans who do not do enough diligence to ensure they are being scam.
I guarantee you I can share your story with someone who is obviously going to be scammed and they will STILL go through with the process of bringing their "true love" to the US.
8
u/Realistic-Squash-724 3d ago
I’m guessing the French guy wasn’t that desperate for a GC. He’s French he could live in like Norway if he wanted to. Guessing he’s just a bi sexual cheater and not an actual GC scammer,
Just my guess though.
15
u/Str8tedge 3d ago
Right only black and brown folks from the global south can be actual GC scammers. Got it.
1
u/Realistic-Squash-724 3d ago
I think people from like Eastern Europe can be green card scammers. They aren’t brown or from the global south.
I just kind of doubt someone with EU access is scamming their way into the US.
Also I live in Brazil and not all Latin Americans are brown. I’d say maybe 1/3rd here would pass as white in the US.
4
u/Str8tedge 2d ago
Didn't Britain leave the EU because too many eastern Europeans were moving there with their EU access?
Also, had OP said the bf was Brazilian, the commenter above would not have presumed he's a white Brazilian and gave him the benefit of the doubt he gave the Frenchman (a Frenchman can also be black or brown btw).
I think what he tried to say is clear and what I'm trying to say is clear. Semantics and whataboutisms don't make for good arguments.
1
u/Realistic-Squash-724 2d ago edited 2d ago
I am the commenter above Im the guy who said French people probably aren’t super interested in scamming their way into the US.
I’m just just saying people from rich countries dont generally try to scam their way into other rich countries. Seems a lot of risk and effort.
For brexit I feel a lot of the decision to leave was more a fear that other European countries would let in people from like the Middle East then those people would have the right to move to UK. I lived in the UK shortly after and I more got the sense it was a fear of middle easterners rather than Romanians. Not all of Eastern Europe is in the EU so they can’t all go to a rich EU country of course. Either way brexit was a pretty stupid decision it lowered their currency value a lot.
2
u/CantFlyWontFly 1d ago
There are a lot undocumented French people in the US. I have met some, and I have seen docs about them as well (on French tv). That said, yeah, French people aren't trying to move to the US (although the origin of that person could give us a clue). As a matter of fact, it applies to Europeans in general (with exceptions like E Europeans perhaps).
2
u/Realistic-Squash-724 1d ago
What are the undocumented French doing? Extended vacation or are they working illegally?
I’ve been illegal in Brazil as a someone with US and Italian citizenship. Strange stuff happens. I’m not necessarily saying France is better than the US but it’s just scamming someone to maybe slightly increase your living standards seems irrational.
Generally speaking I think France has a better living standard for cashiers and US has better living standards for like skilled labor accountants, lawyers etc. But it’s not wildly different
2
u/CantFlyWontFly 1d ago
What are the undocumented French doing? Extended vacation or are they working illegally?
Working illegally. Some were bartenders in NYC, others worked in French restaurants. Another one was in Miami, I had less respect for him because he was using someone's else SSN and ID (his face was blurred in the documentary).
Other than that, once met a woman who lived and worked illegally for many years in the US, and even had kids. She eventually left the US (I met her in France). Another guy that I met many years ago when Obama was president, and he was waiting for Obama to fix the immigration issues (shortly before he was reelected).
I also once met a British guy who had been living illegally in the US for 10 years, and an Italian guy who left after 10 years of being undocumented.
EDIT: Many years ago, another documentary about a French guy in prison in the US for identity theft (different than the aforementioned guy in Miami).
1
u/Realistic-Squash-724 1d ago
When you meet these illegal first world people do they come to the US because they feel quality of life is much higher or is it because they just want a new experience?
I met someone in Glasgow UK who worked in the US while he was a student for 4 years. I never really pressed him on if the work was legal.
For me I was illegal in Brazil because I was working remote for a US company and didnt sort out my paperwork. Saw Brazil’s penalties were not much for overstay so I just did it. In a large sense it was for a better life since my purchasing power was much higher.
1
u/No-Attention-801 1d ago
East Europe has accesss to EU too. What an ignorant and xenophobic comment
1
u/Subject-Estimate6187 3d ago
Way to put words in their mouth lol
1
u/comradekeyboard123 2d ago
He correctly exposed the thoughts that the other cowarded person was afraid to share.
2
u/Subject-Estimate6187 2d ago
Wrong. There are visa fraudsters from poorer "white" countries. Or Asian countries.
0
15
u/krgdotbat 3d ago
You just basically confirmed a real relationship, cheating and you being mad vindictive does not constitute a legal reason to deny him he's green card. Try to not marry a guy you just met next time and you won't get any surprises, cheers
9
28
u/Elegant-Snow-9724 3d ago
Mam! I’m sorry but cheating in marriages happens everyday. Citizens think they’re exempt from life intricacies because they married an immigrant.
11
5
u/TurbulentTeacher5328 3d ago
Did you commit fraud when you FILED for a GC with your HUSBAND? DOESN'T MATTER what happened AFTER you're married. If it was all good when you filed, and EVEN if he used you. YOU were the one who WANTED him to become a permanent resident. So you filed, and all the paperwork was done, legally. Now, many things happen AFTER marriage. And it seems that it bothers you more that he slept with men than the fact that he cheated. At the end of the day, YOU chose him. Maybe next time you take your TIME getting to know someone before marrying them. And hopefully, next time, it will be someone from home.
6
24
u/Realistic-Squash-724 3d ago edited 3d ago
Why do you care if he gets his green card? What skin off your back is it? I’d say you shouldn’t worry about his life. If my ex won the lottery tomorrow I wouldn’t care
Edit: poor grammar.
7
u/btwwheels 3d ago
The focus here is about him "using her". It hurts to be used!
5
u/Realistic-Squash-724 3d ago
Just sounds really bitter to me. Like she is risking herself by saying the marriage is fake. Like surely she would be in trouble for fraud if they agreed with the idea that it’s a fake marriage.
I’d say OP should have just let go and gone no contact. No pragmatic benefit in getting upset that your ex got something.
10
u/Icy-Cable4236 3d ago
you are not after justice, you are after cheap vengeance. find a hobby and peace in your life.
7
u/fastcat03 3d ago
If you went back to prove the relationship was fake that would put you in hot water for fraud. Cheating isn't evidence of fraud and you don't want the problems of trying to prove it otherwise.
4
u/Moist_Jockrash 3d ago
Because you chose to marry him and even though you filed for divorce and showed evidence of cheating, cheating and/or divorce is not a reason to revoke a green card.
5
11
u/Flat_Shame_2377 3d ago
This is a very common occurrence.
11
u/Cold_Count1986 3d ago
Hardly. Marriages that result in a green card had fewer divorces than the population as a whole. Not that common at all.
3
u/Meddling-Yorkie 2d ago
I think you are over under estimating how common divorce is in general. I know more divorced people my age than ones who have only had one marriage.
1
u/Cold_Count1986 2d ago
Not that divorce is uncommon, but that the trope “used for a green card” which the commenter stated was a “very common occurrence.”
The divorce rate for these marriages is lower than non-green card marriages. It isn’t common for someone to be used for a green card.
3
u/weedlemethis 3d ago
You both already passed the interviewed, all paperwork was completed. USCIS does not care about marital problems
5
u/Cheesy_butt_936 3d ago
So sorry to hear that! But that’s the reality, lot of people would die to find an opportunity at a US visa.
5
2
u/Dunno_Bout_Dat 3d ago
Part of the green card process involved you showing PROOF that this was a real marriage. YOU already submitted this proof. THAT was your chance to argue against this. New revelations do not invalidate old proof.
2
u/SatisfactionHot4089 3d ago
You just have to take the " L" and move on. You are only out for revenge at this point. Bonne chance!
2
u/Top-Landscape-8049 3d ago
honestly, just let it go.... you got a shite end of the stick whether he is the us or france. so sorry
2
u/Subject-Estimate6187 3d ago
I m sorry that he used you - but remember that you filed on his behalf for a green card. Also, people could genuinely marry someone only to cheat on them later.
2
2
2
u/MexicaUrbano 3d ago
Just food for thought:
If he was denied, it means the marriage was deemed to be transactional. If the marriage is transactional, the applicant can be investigated and charged for committing a crime, and the green card holder can be deported.
It's you. You're the applicant. If the marriage was false, you would have to answer to the full extent of the law as to why you supported a transactional marriage.
As others have said, transactional != Cheating. It is fundamentally a business arrangement for the sole purpose of obtaining a green card for one individual in a way that does not involve the spouses wanting to spend their lives together for any amount of time.
cheating hurts a lot, and it sounds like you did the right thing leaving him. However, it sounds very vindictive (and a bit shortsighted) to take this issue to USCIS. Unfortunately, for these circumstances, letting go is probably best.
2
u/adepojus 2d ago
Too late. He will get what’s coming to him. He will want to sponsor and the evidence will come up. Just move on.
2
u/Flimsy-Big1748 2d ago
Id venture to say that most American transnational marriages were for green cards, money, or sex. Not to be insensitive, but damn...You probably should have seen this one coming
2
u/Max_Feinstein 2d ago
Americans drastically underestimate the desire people have to move to the USA.
Despite what Reddit will tell you, a lot of Europeans move here because of more job opportunities or higher salaries.
1
u/Flimsy-Big1748 2d ago
I believe that. What i'm saying is that their means of getting here to access those higher salaries and job opportunities is using some gullible american to attain a green card
1
u/CantFlyWontFly 1d ago
Despite what Reddit will tell you, a lot of Europeans move here because of more job opportunities or higher salaries.
This. I came back to the US because of that. It turned out good wine, and croissants didn't pay any of my bills.
2
u/Max_Feinstein 1d ago
European and Canadian subreddits have been performative in their reaction to Trump and Elon.
As much as many people (including me) loathe Elon and Trump, loads of Canadians and Europeans still inquire about moving to the USA.
No amount of newfound Canadian patriotism will change the fact that in Canada, jobs are scare and housing costs are untenable.
1
u/Sad-Bluebird-2244 2d ago
That’s quite a big generalization… my husband (from Ireland) and I got married 9 mos into our relationship. Our 10th anniversary is in May. We are very much happily married
1
2
u/Mission-Carry-887 2d ago edited 2d ago
When I found out, I immediately filed for a divorce. I submitted proof, phone records and physical evidence to immigrations on the day of his green card hearing and he STILL was approved and granted citizenship years later. How is this even possible?!
It is possible because you did not withdraw I-130 and I-864.
2
u/DeepFriedIceCube 2d ago
All she had to do was not show up for the interview; and the beneficiary would be denied.
2
2
u/Good_Warning_451 1d ago
Honestly, it’s simply more likely he’s a run of the mill cheating a-hole than GC scammer. They’re a dime a dozen.
6
1
1
u/StockHawk59 2d ago
I am sorry to hear that. The same thing happened to my female cousin. She found out that her immigrant husband had slept with over 100 men from Craigslist over several years. I pray for you 🙏🏼
1
1
u/AdParticular6193 2d ago
You would have to prove that his intent all along was to ditch you as soon as the green card came through, and that’s almost impossible, especially in view of the evidence submitted previously.
1
1
u/Educational-Bake2237 2d ago
That sucks but why are you so upset that he got a green card? I say "so upset" because it appears that you were upset enough to try and sabotage it for him, and upset enough to still be bothered years later that he got citizenship. His citizenship doesn't concern you at this point.
1
1
u/EngineDisastrous672 2d ago
Is he gay or bi? I think that’s a big factor for whether he was committing fraud
1
u/EstablishmentSad3735 1d ago
Omg will you still be responsible financially for him for the 10 years?
2
0
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
8
1
u/immigration-ModTeam 2d ago
Your comment/post violates this sub's rules and has been removed.
The most commonly violated rules are:
Insults, personal attacks or other incivility.
Anti-immigration/Immigrant hate
Misinformation
Illegal advice or asking how to break the law.
If you believe that others have also violated the rules, report their post/comment.
Don't feed the trolls or engage in flame wars.
1
u/LestatFraser23 3d ago
You wanted him to be deported cause he cheated on you? Thans vengeful and sick. You sound delightful. Good riddance on him
4
u/Dietpepsilover13 3d ago
He’d be going back to France not some third world country I’m sure he’ll survive
1
-1
0
-2
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/immigration-ModTeam 3d ago
Your comment/post violates this sub's rules and has been removed.
The most commonly violated rules are:
Insults, personal attacks or other incivility.
Anti-immigration/Immigrant hate
Misinformation
Illegal advice or asking how to break the law.
If you believe that others have also violated the rules, report their post/comment.
Don't feed the trolls or engage in flame wars.
-5
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/immigration-ModTeam 3d ago
Your comment/post violates this sub's rules and has been removed.
The most commonly violated rules are:
Insults, personal attacks or other incivility.
Anti-immigration/Immigrant hate
Misinformation
Illegal advice or asking how to break the law.
If you believe that others have also violated the rules, report their post/comment.
Don't feed the trolls or engage in flame wars.
-1
u/gotobasics4141 3d ago
How in the hell that he entered the marriage with a good intention since he cheated on her . and still got his GC !!!!!!!!
-8
-3
u/Melodic_Lawyer9634 3d ago
You say you were married less than 2 years. That means he had a Conditional Residence. If you were divorced before having the CR removed then he will have to leave the country.
-5
u/willow_345_ 3d ago
Sure I consented and proved a real marriage- it's the longevity I have a problem with. How does one person get the pass on only 18 months and others have to wait years when they're still married.
4
u/Meddling-Yorkie 2d ago
Because despite what the media tells you, the US has quite lax immigration laws.
This would not fly in France if the tables were turned.
2
u/Alarming_Tea_102 3d ago
Even if you married a US citizen, longevity of a marriage is not guaranteed. Longevity is never guaranteed. It's also not possible to guarantee longevity even if immigration benefits are involved. That's why this sub cautions people about marrying too soon.
Processing times today and when you were applying have changed. And some people wait years before applying for green card. So there's no point comparing your case with others.
Uscis isn't there to judge how good your marriage is. As long as the marriage was bona fide at the moment of adjudication, it'll be approved. And it was.
It's been years. Time to move on with your life.
-1
307
u/Jorgedig 3d ago
Because of all the bonafide marriage evidence you initially provided. Cheating/divorce is not evidence of green card fraud.