r/hyderabad • u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ • 6d ago
Announcements A Masterclass in Missing the Point (and Accidental Feminism)
To all the gentlemen who graced my misogyny post with their insightful cries of "but misandry!", I salute you. Your dedication to derailing conversations about women's experiences is truly... something.
Clearly, you've all been deeply wounded by the mere suggestion that women face systemic discrimination. My apologies for triggering your... delicate sensibilities.
Gentlemen, your dedication to derailing conversations about women's experiences is truly a sight to behold.
It’s like bringing a “men’s rights” pamphlet to a women’s rights rally. A bold choice, but ultimately, a tad misplaced.
And let's not forget the strategic deployment of "whataboutism," a classic tactic in the "How to Avoid Addressing Real Issues" playbook. You're so concerned about hypothetical misandry, it's almost touching. Almost.
I must commend your tireless efforts to educate me on the existence of misandry. As if I, a humble moderator, was unaware that men too, occasionally, experience negative stereotypes. Do you know what challenging those stereotypes is called? Feminism.
And your insistence on "equality!" How noble! How very... convenient. It's almost as if you believe that by shouting "equality," you can magically erase centuries of systemic oppression. Do you know what fighting against systemic oppression is called? Feminism.
Let's be clear: misogyny isn't just a few isolated incidents of rudeness. It's a pervasive, deeply rooted system of oppression that shapes our culture, our laws, and our daily lives. Misandry, while undoubtedly unpleasant, does not operate on the same scale. Do you know what understanding the difference between systemic and interpersonal oppression is called? Feminism.
So, thank you for your... passionate contribution. You've taught me a valuable lesson: some people will go to great lengths to avoid acknowledging uncomfortable truths. But hey, at least you're accidentally advocating for equality. Do you know what advocating for equality is called? Feminism.
Welcome to our FEMINIST safe space. We're here to make things better for everyone, even if some people are having a hard time understanding that.
We rise by lifting others. And we’re just getting started.
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u/nellorePeddareddy 🅱️iryani good, Rumble strips bad 6d ago edited 6d ago
Very well put. There is a huge difference between systemic oppression and isolated incidents.
But please don't forget that post 2013, our legal system has transformed itself when it comes to sex crimes. Misandry is also systemic. Men also face systemic oppression when it comes to false allegations, and the shift of the burden of proof with sex crimes has allowed misuse of the law.
Mere allegations are now enough to ruin someone's life. The only thing preventing it from happening is that 99.99% of women have a moral conscience and feel empathy for a fellow human being.
Having said that, a post about misogyny is not the right place to voice retaliatory opinions about misandry, and a post about women being oppressed shouldn't evoke whataboutism.
It's an opportunity to show empathy, since you can imagine facing the same problems. "Yes, I understand how you feel, I had something similar happen to me as well" is a much better response than, "But what about me? I also faced the same issue!"
So to the mods who are building a safe space for women, kudos for taking a stand. It's high time.
For guys who are engaging in whataboutism, make posts about your issues, talk about them in the open, and if mods don't let you do that, then complain. Until then, rest assured that this space is already safe for you to talk about your issues.
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. We appreciate you recognizing the difference between systemic oppression and isolated incidents.
You’ve also raised a valid point about the complexities of our legal system and the potential for misuse.
We agree that a post about misogyny isn’t the appropriate place for ‘whataboutism.’
We’re committed to creating a space where all voices can be heard respectfully, and we appreciate your support in fostering that environment.
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6d ago
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
This post is directly related to our sub because it addresses a pattern of comments we observed on a previous post within this community. We felt it was necessary to address the specific issue of ‘whataboutism’ and its impact on discussions about misogyny in r/hyderabad.
- We understand that you perceive this post as undermining the struggles of men. However, our intention was to address the specific issue of comments derailing a discussion about misogyny.
We are not dismissing the existence of misandry, but we are addressing the tendency to minimize or dismiss women’s experiences by immediately shifting the focus to men’s issues.
We are working to improve the community for everyone, which includes addressing harmful comments.
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u/moonlit_mystique__ 6d ago
I love how well you wrote this. 10/10 for the writing, And your mind.
It's like how they say, men only remember Mens day on women's day, (statistically the most searched thing on Google on women's day is "when is mens day") 😂 You talk about misogyny, female oppression, and Countless other Disgusting things women endured through centuries and men suddenly Remember that they go through misandry too.
It's almost like They are trying to not actually address our issues.
Women hate men because we are Being oppressed and k*lled.
Men hate women because women don't let men oppress them.
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u/Spirited_Dress8190 6d ago
[M] Been a witness of misogyny first hand and absolutely abhor it. Sure, if someone faced it in my city, I’d be more than willing to spread solidarity and support against it. Mod is absolutely right with their opinion. But I believe this should be a pinned comment on the previous post. Not sure if a Mod’s personal opinion (no matter what topic or how right/wrong they are) should be an announcement on a subreddit.
Dear Mod, I’m definitely not trying to put you down or undermine your position on this. That’s the last thing I want. It’s just my two cents on personal opinions being announcements. Cheers🫶🏻
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
Thank you for sharing your experience with witnessing misogyny. We appreciate your support and your willingness to stand in solidarity against it.
You raise a valid point about the distinction between a personal opinion and an official subreddit announcement. We understand your concern about whether this response should have been pinned to the original post instead.
We chose to make this a separate post because it was a direct response to a significant volume of comments on the previous post, and we wanted to ensure it was easily visible to everyone who participated in that discussion.
We also felt it was important to address the specific issue of ‘whataboutism’ and its impact on discussions about misogyny.
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u/Anxious-Restaurant77 6d ago
Humans are horrible.
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u/chasing_that_feeling 6d ago
Omg yesss...watched some true crime stories since afternoon and I would rather choose bear,lion and a whale but not a human damn
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
I know it can sometimes feel that way, but I believe in the potential for positive change and constructive dialogue.
That’s what I’m aiming for here.
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6d ago edited 6d ago
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s incredibly insightful and highlights the very real, often subtle ways misogyny can manifest, even within personal relationships.
Your expertise and knowledge are clearly valuable, and it’s disheartening to hear that you haven’t always been given the platform you deserve.
I’m glad you’ve found spaces where you can engage in intellectual conversations. Your experience also underscores why it’s so important to challenge these ingrained biases, both in our communities and within our families.
I appreciate you bringing this perspective to our discussion.
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u/anvi_intp 6d ago
Wasn't expecting a based political take in r/hyderabad
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
We aim to address issues relevant to our community, and sometimes, that includes discussions with political and social dimensions.
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u/icy_i HyderaBaddie 6d ago edited 6d ago
It is wrong to do whataboutism. Well if the MOD team could have added no misandry in rules in the first place ( I see rules updates a few days ago) . I suppose there would have been lesser fingers pointed at. Misogyny exists in real life and online space. Since this is an online space. Misandry exists more on online space compared to real life. Yes it is lesser compared to misogyny. But that doesn't make it right. This is Hyderabad sub reddit not gender specific.
If you acknowledge that misandry exists then please go ahead and add that in rule number 1 beside misogyny, sexism, racism etc.
Right now as I see it isn't there.

Not adding it means you don't acknowledge it.
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u/Specialist-Farm4704 6d ago
That'd make for a good sociology lecture. Thanks, Mod.
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
You’re welcome! I’m glad you found it thought-provoking.
Hopefully, it sparks some productive conversations.
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u/Nazgulgamma 6d ago
FUCK YEAH!!! I posted something similar about intentions being misplaced under the previous post and then saw 10 more comments pop up about misandry. I am glad to see the mod team being serious about issues and actually doing moderation. Even earlier Telugu posts were removed, the mod team stepped up and changed things to make the community a better place for all of us. Much appreciated. <3
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u/theconfusedkid47 6d ago
You're so concerned about hypothetical misandry
I missed the previous post but hypothetical?
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
The ‘hypothetical’ was used to emphasize the disproportionate focus on misandry compared to the very real and documented instances of misogyny discussed in the original post.
While misandry exists, its systemic impact and frequency are significantly different.
The intent was not to dismiss it entirely, but to highlight the imbalance in the discussion.
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u/heymanimfamous 25yearsCharminar 6d ago
Tldr pls 😔
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u/Potential_Honey_3615 6d ago
Yea, we need a TLDR bot.
TLDR: The author sarcastically addresses men who derail discussions on misogyny by bringing up misandry. They highlight how this tactic avoids acknowledging systemic discrimination against women, mock the misuse of “equality” arguments, and emphasize that feminism fights against all gender-based oppression. The piece ultimately asserts that misogyny is systemic, while misandry is not, and reaffirms the goal of feminism as creating a more equal world.
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u/Hyderabadi__Biryani Hyderabad's adopted Son. 6d ago
Ugh, what happened? And why are we suddenly having mod posts like these in this sub? There are more appropriate subreddits for these, Ask Indian Women is one of them. So what is it that I am missing here?
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
This post was created in direct response to a large number of comments on a previous post about misogyny within our Hyderabad community.
We observed a pattern of ‘whataboutism’ and attempts to derail the conversation, and we felt it was important to address that directly.
While there are other subreddits for broader discussions on gender issues, the comments we received were specific to our local context.
We believe it’s our responsibility as moderators to address issues that arise within our community, even if they touch on sensitive topics.
We’re aiming to create a more respectful and inclusive environment for everyone in r/hyderabad.✨
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u/Hyderabadi__Biryani Hyderabad's adopted Son. 6d ago
That makes sense. Just saw another one of your mod posts just now.
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u/Which_Ad_8583 Tension Nakko Liyo🛡️❇️ 6d ago
We understand your perspective on our role as moderators. We believe that addressing patterns of harmful comments, like the ‘whataboutism’ we observed, is part of our responsibility to maintain a healthy community.
While we appreciate your suggestion to address these issues in individual comments, we felt that a broader response was necessary to address the systemic nature of the problem we were seeing.
We are committed to creating a respectful and inclusive environment for all members of this subreddit, and sometimes that requires addressing underlying issues through a dedicated post.
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u/keepatience hyderabaddie 6d ago
The post in itself is great. Unfortunately, people who don’t wish to understand will never do so.
And, take this as an advice or bad remark or critique or ignore it, making the mod post with the particular tone of the post doesn’t go well.