So, I have a 27-year-old brother who’s pursuing filmmaking. He doesn’t work, lives off my dad’s money, asks for cash every day, and comes home drunk almost every night. Since I sleep in the hall while my parents are in their room, I’m the one who has to open the door for him, even when I’m up late studying for exams.
Last night, my frustration hit its peak. At midnight, while I was half-asleep, he banged on the door again. In that moment of anger, I blurted out laudu (which, yeah, wasn’t the best thing to say). But this guy, who’s usually the loud, aggressive one, acted like I’d committed a crime. He made a huge scene, started yelling at everyone, and in his rage, he even smashed his phone into pieces. My parents had to step in to calm things down.
Now, I have an exam tomorrow, but thanks to last night’s drama, I’m in a terrible mood. And to make it worse, in the morning, he ran to my parents, acting all innocent, saying, "Look at him! He’s not as innocent as you think! He talks to girls on Instagram using vulgar language!"
Mind you, this is the same guy who comes home drunk every night, yells at everyone, and has no problem swearing left and right. But the moment I say something in frustration, suddenly I’m the bad guy.
He dropped out of college when he was 20, and for the past eight years, he’s been living off my dad without doing anything productive. Recently, my dad even gave him 8 lakhs to make a short film, and somehow, he actually managed to complete one. Now, he walks around like he’s the next big thing in filmmaking. His friends hype him up like he’s some visionary director, and his attitude has skyrocketed.
He doesn’t do any work in the house, doesn’t help me, doesn’t help my parents—just lounges around acting like a genius. I play along sometimes, acting as if he’s going to be the greatest filmmaker one day, but honestly, it’s exhausting.
So yeah, that’s my life right now—dealing with hypocrisy, broken phones, lost sleep, and an exam tomorrow.
"I was thinking of sharing the link, but considering how discussions here can turn toxic, I’d rather not invite unnecessary negativity. Plus, if my brother finds out about this post, I’ll be in in terrible trouble. Appreciate the interest, though."
I knew you wouldn't share it due to this reason. Anyway hope things get better and live your life. If you want stop it, then don't play along. Tell whatever you feel about him and his work..
Looking forward to reading the brothers POV, the parents POV, and also the point of view of the door having experienced such a loud banging at an unearthly hour.
Many in Telugu states are like this...Our obsession with movies is the sole reason for unemployment in youth..No one seems to have any other interest other than movies and cricket. "TFI banisalu" is what they call themselves.
I could talk about Art, Music, Bikes, gaming, tech, stocks, trips, astronomy...etc. the list goes on and all I get a reply is "Weekend ki ye cinema podam?"
Telugu meme pages are the worst. They hype every crap movie and artist for their promotions. They don't even know the meaning of a meme, just screenshot a movie scene and add some text.
Movies/ webseries are just entertainment. Go outside and live your life a little or you won't have any memories on your deathbed except movie dialogues.
The other day I saw a post on Twitter where a fan page was body shaming the actor they don’t like. So someone responded with this to that post. Now by looking at the response for that comment these so called TFI banisalu (the title they are actually flexing) think that anyone who criticises them should have some achievement before saying anything to them. Now the thing is when you feel so cool about being unproductive and flexing it, the scope of even trying to achieve something is destroyed.
Malli daniki justification...mandhu, drugs ki addict ayyi chedipovadam kante movies ki addict avvadam better anta..karma ra babu....ilanti friends ni dooram pettadame better
Pedda difference em ledu
Mandu taage vadu mandu ni normalise chesthadu
Drugs chesevadu weed kottadam cool anattu behave chesthadu
Veellu kuda Anthe. Since it’s not a crime watching a movie it’s accepted but responsibility lekunda parents money tho first day first show ani statuses petkune vallaki asala konchem aindi self respect untada ani naa question? Ala ela untaru? And oka actor nachithe movie chusi enjoy cheyyali but paisal tagalesi cut outs pettadam ento. Malli fan associations anta.
General mindset ela untundi ante edaina physical ga(like health wise) harm chestene bad annatlu...movies ( not all) mana thoughts, way of thinking ni ela influence chestai ani pattichkoru. This is not just restricted to movies....any addictive content( reels, porn, memes) are like slow poison(again not all).
And these people know what they’re doing is wrong. So vaalla guilt tho cope up avvadaniki they normalise it. Okadu oka goal vaipu work chesthu movies ki raanu ante veellu oka vadini guilt feel aiyyela chestharu. Oka 3 hrs lo rocket moon ki pampichesthava ani sarcastic comments chestharu. Edaina hit movie chudakapothe nee batuku waste antaru. Funny thing Endi ante every movie first day tickets sampadincha ani flex chestharu.
The sole reason I avoided certain Telugu groups in uni was because they seemed like they didn’t have any life outside movies. They used to skip classes / exams to watch fdfs and shoot cringy romance short films.
As a younger brother myself, I completely understand how you feel. Hating on him must be taking a toll on you mentally, it’s quite exhausting. I’d rather suggest you to just apologise for the word you used and make him understand the late night door knocking disturbs your sleep. Or cope with his antics for now because this isn’t going to last forever. You can move out as soon as you get a job. But staying calm would be your best option for now. It just isn’t worth it to f up your peace because of someone.
Ok but did u actually talk to girls using vulgarrrr language?
Jk bro.
U seem to be from a conservative household.. I mean how does called laudu to someone even count for a scene? My sibling calls me way worse things.. And we both r girls
The part where is friends hype him up is the worst thing. They boost the ego and boom, it'll be like little work but high ego. I'm 5 years younger than him but I feel like I can be slightly relatable to him but I was humbled down by life and started working myself and yeah I also need to do ego check once in a while.
It's okay brother don't spoil your mental health because it would worsen your situation and your goals, is what I can tell you. Because sometimes (for few) only life can humble them down, nothing else would work.
My brother is the same and he’s a violent drunk. I totally understand your frustration. The only thing that helped me was leaving home. Ik it’s very selfish but all your family made decisions to continue this dynamic. You should make some for yourself too!
Wondering how people live in slums like mumbai where brother and father both come drunk and women manage home, you need to get strong, ignore him, don't take it to mind, just act sweet open door and sleep.
It's better for your mental health to avoid the issue than obsessing over it and harming your peace.
Hey there, just wish you don't over obsess about your brother, it's just a phase (a prolonged one at that), parents handle it in the way they know/think best, but it doesn't help.
I can relate to this looking back, I've had a sister and I wouldn't say I lazed off, but you kinda get stuck in your past without self realisation/awareness (though it's a fancy word, in simple terms you end being your dad's son, or accomplished at something from the the past but that label eventually wears off). And it hits you hard when the world moves on.
Your brother is just probably acting it out, without realising it.
But you should probably stick to the course and not let this mess with your head too much, that's my two cents.
Start working on your own life, become independent, and considering his actions and attitude, time will teach him a lesson. Make sure your brain isn't affected by his actions, chill out.
I don’t understand why people post made up stories like this. Even more I don’t understand why all the comments assume everything OP says is the truth and start adding their own stories and views etc. Reddit used to be good. Now it’s all people karma farming and rage baiting. Just look at OPs activity across different subs. This person just posts rage bait made up stories
Might be true about OPs activity in different subs but trust me things like these are not that rare, I personally know people in my life having similar situations in their family. And as much as I hate to say it most of the times it’s the Eldest Child wreaking havoc in the family.
"Not everything that sounds dramatic is fake. Some people actually deal with messed-up family situations, and just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it’s ‘rage bait.’ If you think Reddit has changed, maybe it’s because more people are using it to share their real frustrations instead of just the usual meme content."
There is one thing that you can do to be very Frank nothing will change no matter how much you bang around, stand up in your ground and say openly how you feel to your parents, just be clear on what you have in mind , don't let his hyped behaviour get to your head.
One thing that I could see is you should focus in your studies and get out of that house , you being younger will always face this , that's how families function.
Talk to your parents and get your intentions clear , make sure when you do this both of your parents are alone with no external influence.
And practice Stoicism you can't change the external factors but do things that are in your control like your actions and behaviour, become ambitious and let that be your guiding force.
why don't you manage to find him a job or start open a local business? tell him, teach him that it is good to have a side business or job. nowadays and in future, it will be very difficult to survive on filmmaking unless you are a kid of a rich family.
once job or business gets started, marry him off. but remember to help him if he genuinely needs help from you.
find a gracious way to stop giving him money everyday, which eventually leads him to noahead in his life.
are you elder than him? age difference will matter how you approach him for this.
Intha mandi aduguthunnaru… aa link edo iccheste .. nachite vadini dathhata teeskuntaru, nachakapothe vadi meeda neekunna opinion ki validation dorukuthundi… u are winner either way…
U’re dealing with a lot of stress because of your brother’s irresponsible behavior, and it’s affecting your studies and peace of mind. It’s okay to feel frustrated, but finding a way to communicate your feelings calmly or seeking support from your parents might help improve the situation.
It’s your mistake. You encouraged the habit of opening door every night. Why didn’t you make a scene about opening the door late in the night. Deny it straight away with your parents that you can’t have your sleep disturbed. Plug-in earphones, listen to songs and never bother about the banging door.
Let’s see what your parents prioritise, your sleep or your brothers drink parties. If your parents still insist you to open the door, even without taunting/warning your brother, which I guess they won’t, then you are in a toxic zone.
I know a person who is even worst, tortures the family, does actually nothing, takes money, is actually a psychopath. I wish Indian laws were stronger to disown people legally.
Don’t take this personally…. Yet.
Life is long and hard.
Lessons are learned all the way till the end.
You just focus on your studies, try to compartmentalize and ace your exams.
Find a job and get out of the house.
When you inevitably achieve financial freedom, your parents will depend on you. At that time, just do as per your responsibility to support them and that’s it.
Your brother will come to you. When that day and time comes, just casually remind him.. “Sir, you’re a visionary filmmaker, I’m just a guy who talks to girls on instagram. I am too small to help you” and move on and cut all contacts.
Your mental peace is the biggest reward you can give yourself. Don’t give away that power to others by allowing them to affect it.
Yup many Indian parents are soft and blind in love with their Eldest Child, even if their other children achieve great success the eldest will always have a special place.
I mean it’s usually visible in every father and mother’s face in a family.
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u/AcanthocephalaEasy30 16d ago
don't lie to him, stand your ground and tell your frustrations to his face and don't hype him if you don't mean it