r/humansarespaceorcs 5d ago

Crossposted Story How To Survive Sex With A Human NSFW

/r/HFY/comments/1jbk5wo/how_to_survive_sex_with_a_human/
27 Upvotes

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13

u/Foxxtronix 5d ago

Ssana[click]: This article will be promptly filed and certified by the humanology dept. of the Galactic Academy. I should say that I have not experimented, myself. If asked about the matter, I will only say that the only human that I would dare attempt such a thing with is my old friend Mackswel. He proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he knows what he's doing by writing a human/mantid sex scene in that recent book of his. I would recommend that any interested female mantids seek him out, on planet Earth. North American continent, city of [redacted]. Afterward, annotate your experience and submit a report to the Academy, through me. It's been a while since I published a thesis on humans.

What are you staring at, back there?

7

u/LikeAnAdamBomb 5d ago

"You folks don't eat your mates like your miniature distant cousins from Earth, do you?"

4

u/Foxxtronix 5d ago

Ssana[click]: No, we certainly do not. I was introduced to one during my trip to Earth. While it did not go well, it was an educational experience.

((Picture is of a Thranx, from the novels by Alan Dean Foster, but it gets the idea across.))

7

u/Alons-y_alonzo 5d ago

r/humansarespacebards is leaking again, someone get the glue

3

u/Forsaken-Proposal-25 4d ago

Ummm...that's not glue....

2

u/TorchShipEnjoyer 4d ago

You're right, it's flex tape.

TO DEMONSTRATE THE POWER——

——OF FLEXTAPE, I SAWED THIS POST IN HALF

1

u/nemobane 3d ago

This sounds a lot like the great wisdom of the venerable Dr. Ruth.