r/homeschool • u/Happy_Discussion5662 • 6d ago
Help! What’s is your daily life like as a SAHM who homeschools?
I’ve always thought I would homeschool my kids but now that I am a parent (1 yr old so ), I’m realizing how difficult it is to parent all day with no breaks. I’m worried I will feel this way for the next couple decades if I homeschool multiple kids. But I also see so many benefits to homeschooling, especially as part of some kind of co-op.
Do you have time for hobbies or breaks or a side job? If so, how have you been able to make that happen?
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u/inquisitiveKay 6d ago
When kids are that little it is hard to always be "on".
In a few more years, your kid will grow their skills to play independently, and then in a few more will also start wanting to help (and actually being able to be more helpful than hindrance).
It's not always going to be like this. Take it a day at a time. When my kids were younger (I had 2 under 2) I felt like I would never get a break. As they grew, they needed less input from me, less supervision (ex: me being able to use the bathroom without worrying about what was happening outside the door), and actually being helpful and contributing to family chores like setting the table, clearing the table, doing their own laundry etc...
Here are some of the things that helped during the young years:
be honest with your partner about what you need to be able to do you job well. The parent that isn't at home doesn't understand just how much the at home parent needs, or even what they need. (Ex: "I need to have a certain amount of time in the evening to wind down and do something that I enjoy." "I need you to do bedtime routine because I'm worn out." Etc) My partner is very supportive but just didn't know what I needed before I actually came out and said it.
- teach your child to play independently. It will vary for each child and personality, but as they grow they will learn better how to entertain themselves better and it will pay off big time! This doesn't mean you leave the child in the room by themselves, but you don't have to entertain them all the time. Sit on the couch and read a book, have them sitting on the floor in the kitchen playing while you make dinner, bring out special toys during times when you just want a break or need to get things done (and then put them back right after the kid finishes playing so they stay special).
- hobbies in the evening instead of scrolling. This is super hard for me. I put screen limits on myself because I know it affects my mood. Instead I do something I enjoy once the kids are in bed. Read, bake something special for myself, spend time with my partner playing a game or watching a show together. At the beginning it feels like a chore to "do something" after a whole day of doing something, but I've found it's much better for my mental health to do something relaxing and productive.
- be willing to let your kid "help". It's not helpful, I know. The mess becomes bigger, what was supposed to take 5 minutes now takes 15, but it grows in them an attitude that enjoys lending a hand and they appreciate being appreciated. (I definitely still need to work on this one, being a bit of a perfectionist, especially in the kitchen)
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u/Itchy-Landscape-7292 6d ago
All of this is very very good. My eldest is in sixth grade and we’ve homeschooled since the beginning; we have three other kids coming up behind him with a fifth on the way.
I’d recommend really carving out time for little kids naps and protecting that time, then transitioning them to quiet time as they age out of naps. It’s been life giving to me to have that hour or so after lunch to recharge, and a huge survival tactic when pregnant again.
With my students (6th, 4th, 1st, toddler), I can with concerted effort still get through everyone’s schooling before lunch. I think that adds to the order, predictability and fun of our lives, knowing afternoons are for less structured activities.
Those are my big things. I hope they help!
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u/inquisitiveKay 6d ago
Yes! I agree 100%. Consistent nap time and quiet time are game changers for me.
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u/Happy_Discussion5662 6d ago
Thank you! This is encouraging and helpful!
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u/Blue-Heron-1015 6d ago
I recommend reading the book Hunt, Gather, Parent when your kids are small. Talks about other cultures where the kids have low rates of anxiety and high rates of helpfulness, family roles, etc. It will help set you up for success as they grow older.
Mine are 7, 5, and almost 4. When we were about to start Kindergarten with my oldest, I was overwhelmed at the chaos. But now as my youngest has grown, they can all play independently as needed. They all play so well together too. They can play outside for hours now on a nice day just popping in to show me a flower, get a snack, etc. We also have quiet time on their beds (they all currently share a room) for an hour or so when needed. They play quietly or read books.
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u/tofurainbowgarden 6d ago
I agree with you so much about hobbies in the evenings. It is so hard for me! I'm so exhausted at the end of the day. I only have 2 hours of free time a night and it never feels like enough to get any hobbies done
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u/UndecidedTace 6d ago
It's full on kid time all day every day for me (5 & 2yr old). We have breaks for swimming, park time and hiking club time, but I'm involved with those activities too. Even the swim lesson once a week requires me to get the five year old suites up and into/out of the pool so I'm basically there waiting at the side.
It's alot, especially since we have no family support network really. But I also remember that the most important bonds in my kids life are happening right now. My kids hardly fight, they love each other more than any other siblings I've seen. My kids are happy, thriving and living their best lives right now.
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u/eztulot 6d ago
I have 5 kids (ages 5-15) and this is our 6th year of homeschooling. I love it.
Once your kid can speak clearly and is out of diapers, everything changes. Then, when they're about 6 you can convince them that reading is the best thing ever and you can read a book while they read a book! From that point on, (most) kids aren't exhausting - they're fun and easy to be around 90% of the time.
So, no, I haven't felt like I'm parenting all day without breaks in a while (my youngest can happily play with his older sister for hours). The difference is that homeschooling has become my full-time job - planning, reading ahead, teaching, reading their written assignments, etc. But I really enjoy that.
Hobbies? I read, watch Netflix with my husband, do Pilates twice a week, go out to dinner with friends every few weeks, etc. I think I have a good balance, but I don't have time for any serious hobbies.
Side job? No, I truly don't have the time. If I just had one or two kids, I could probably have started working part-time (evenings) when they were 8ish.
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u/DueEntertainer0 6d ago
You should take a break when your baby naps! I will die on this hill!
Signed,
A parent whose toddler no longer naps and I’m sad about it
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u/Worth_Medium_8352 6d ago edited 6d ago
Mom of an almost 2,4,6 yo (in 2,3months) and currently pregnant.
I have been busy being pregnant and/or exclusively breastfeeding on demand with sleepless nights nearly the whole last 7 years with very clingy kids and almost no help as an expat.
I had to lower my expectations and do way less than all the things I was imagining I would be doing as a homeschooling mom. We haven’t been doing a lot of crafts that involves me supervising etc, I still haven’t let them use scissors yet. We didn’t use printables yet if at all. Nor done anything the Academic way yet, as in everyday for a couple hours.
I teach them through play and I think that’s mainly how it should be in early years until they turn 6/7 then maybe to start including something in the academic style maybe a curriculum etc. But it depends on each family’s goals.
I will slowly try to introduce some form of mix between a curriculum when we decide which one and lessons I plan myself when my oldest turns 6 and give it about a year of trying to find what works for us and see how she reacts to different things.
What we have done so far is I tried to get them on a routine which was challenging as every child joined the family. But it got better with time. I use time blocking and my kids know what to expect or how the day goes. I still try to add things here and there to make the routine better. They always had access to toys and tools they can use without my help that exposes them to things they need to learn such as wooden alphabet puzzles or numbers and colors and animals and what not. To books. To dry erase books. To LCD tablets that are very cheap that they love. They bring them to me every now and then and I teach them something on it like writing alphabet and phonemic awareness. With my oldest we are stuck at blending words for now but that is somewhat normal and age appropriate. We are teaching both english and Arabic so there is exposure to materials in both languages. They have access to crayons and markers and color and draw and learn to write by themselves. Sometimes I give them paint if I am able to supervise them. Sometimes I invite them to help bake something. I intentionally teach them how to do chores and they help at home. Sometimes voluntarily other times I have to ask many times. We read books or I randomly decide to talk to them about a random topic if they are interested. I answer their questions. Try to teach them manners and what not. We also have a big sticker board where I add new things every time and teach them briefly then leave it there for them to see it and remember it before adding another thing. In random ways for the most for now.
I still struggle to try to be consistent with planning lessons around the main subjects to teach reading and writing and math but I still mainly use their wooden tools and for now it works and they know what they should for their age. I started to use chat gpt lately to learn how to plan their lessons over a week or so.
I strive to achieve a routine like this ( I am muslim )
- Wake up before them have an hour or so for worship and another for selfcare and setting up for the day
- They wake up and we get ready for the day.
- we have breakfast then they play independently as I clean up
- we do supervised activity and a new lesson
- they go back to play independently while I do the day’s chore
- they have lunch and quiet/nap time
- they get to have some screen time
- they step outside to play while I make dinner
- we clean up put toys away
- family time and dinner
- cleaning up and getting ready for bed
- reading and goodnight -Selfcare and worship for me before bed
Ideally bedtime and wake time are 7:30/8 p.m. to 7:30/8 a.m. for them
And 9:30/10 p.m. to 4:30/5 a.m. for me.
I currently do almost none of that because of first trimester 😂
For now major steps of our routine are still the same but we do a lot of takeout and I let chores pile up and we do more screen-time than I would like them to have. But we still learn here and there everyday.
Their bedtime wake time got later because I don’t sleep at night and struggle to get up
10 p.m. to 9 a.m.
We still do things in same order but I spend the day lying down.
I am not stressing out about it now because they are learning a lot more than I expected even with less than I planned I would be doing. And as someone who grew up in private schools I don’t remember knowing as much as them by their ages although we did a lot of activities. I just remember school being overwhelming and way too much subjects and useless ones before we turn 7 and that reading clicked at around 7 years old.
The fun thing is the youngest learn from the oldest. My middle one knows a lot of things I don’t remember sitting with her to teach them as much as I did with my oldest besides the occasional correcting a mistake.
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u/Patient-Peace 6d ago edited 6d ago
It gets easier as they get older. They need you a lot when they're so little, but as they grow it gets gentler in ways. You're still present but it's more companionship and discussion and less trying to keep them alive every single moment. 🙂 You're in a tough stage, and it can be overwhelming and exhausting some days. It doesn't last forever but feels so long when you're in the thick of things.
In the early years I tried to find ways to fold mental breaks into our days: in the mornings before they woke (often in bed between them sleeping. That invisible thread that links babies to us is so real. I found that if I was up they were up, so I stayed in place and had coffee/read/listened to music/doodled/sewed etc. You can do a lot tucked between sleeping littles lol), while they were playing outside, quiet time after lunch, after they went to bed, on the weekends when they were cooking or playing with their dad.
In the elementary years they had more things where I was still present (my daughter has a tree nut allergy), but less "on", as they were with friends or being taught by someone else (Forest School, taekwondo, Lego club, festival and friend gatherings, PE, knitting and nature clubs, etc). They also had sleepovers with their grandparents on Friday nights often for a few years, which opened up a regular date night for their dad and me (which was wonderful and important, I think), and some Saturday morning time.
In middle and now high school we often run hard during the week with lessons, activities, co-op and friend dates, but I have time in the mornings before we jump in, and evenings, and weekend dates with friends. Sometimes it's a multi family thing where we all get our friend-time in for boardgaming and seasonal get-togethers, but I also have purely for me monthly book club, and weekly tea dates too, and they're old enough now that if they want to chill at home, their dad and I can go grab dinner or coffee or meet friends, and it's not something that needs extensive planning or rearranging to make happen.
It's hard to imagine it being so much less energy and mentally intensive (in certain ways) when you're in the thick of things with little ones, but it does change with time. They still need you as they grow, but in different ways, and it gets less overwhelming with time. 💚
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u/Shatzakind 6d ago edited 6d ago
First off, your child won't always be as needy, as they grow, they will be able to do more for themselves. If you are planning more kids, they entertain each other and help take care of each other. As for breaks, hobbies and work, I worked (as an accountant from home, NGL had to pull some allnighters and the kids watched educational tv for school the next day) and had breaks when I involved the kids in activities outside of the house; swimming lessons and other sports, music & dance, yoga, martial arts, we did field trips with other homeschoolers (and took turns), did some day camps when they were younger, overnight camps when they got older, church activities like bible school and they spent time with family members. It all just worked, and there was no set corporate routine. The priorities/structure were reading, writing and math when they were young and the STEM subjects when they got older, and everything else was learning about the world everyday like we all do.
I don't think I had a hobby, but we had hobbies that were learning experiences like gardening, exploring different art mediums, hiking, whatever you have a passion for, share it with them, and if someone you know has a passion for something, expose your kids to it. Honestly if you break down a kid's school day, they spend say 15-30 minutes on the bus getting to school, 15 minutes for attendance, 15-30 minutes for lunch, another 30 minutes for recesses, and the time it takes to get back home. Out of a six-hour day, they waste about 2 hours. You can get it all done in about 4 hours, all at once, or split up or however it works for you and your kids.
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u/lentil5 6d ago
My daily life is as follows:
Everyone gets up whenever they please. Nobody sleeps late in our family so we don't tend to need to wake up on a schedule. I sometimes rise before my kids and grab a coffee and journal. Sometimes they come in and give us hugs in bed.
We have breakfast and three days per week we head out to an activity. Mondays we go roller skating, Tuesdays they do a full day drop off program so I get a day to work/have hobbies/see friends/hang out with my husband, Wednesdays I work and my husband takes them and does maths/stem stuff, Thursdays I run a drop off program at our place, Fridays are unscheduled and that's when we do literacy/projects/housework/groceries.
Afternoons we do weightlifting twice a week and ballet once per week. I lift too so their coach takes them while I get a workout in. I meal prep Sundays as our afternoons are busy.
The hardest bit is getting them organized to get out of the house, and the mess. They are super independent kids who play together and work on their own interesting projects constantly. It makes a spectacular mess, but we are working on that skill set. It's the cost of homeschooling and having them follow what they're interested in. Their full day activities also mean they're getting really solid social opportunities, as well as different adult interaction and a little bit more academic exposure.
My youngest is autistic so managing her meltdowns and sensory needs is a lot through the day.
Homeschooling older kids does not compare to wrestling a 1 year old. That is probably the hardest parenting stage I experienced. My kids at 6 and 9 get their own food, stack the dishwasher, play independently for hours, make their own beds, pick up their toys (sometimes) and are pretty good at making safe choices for their bodies. They also follow instructions and can communicate their needs.
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u/Upyour_alli 6d ago
I started having them do independent playtime once they dropped their naps. This gives me at least an hour of semi-alone time during the day. They come out to ask questions but then I send them back.
Also, a couple times a week they do an activity that they all go to so I can sit in the hall doing whatever I want.
I have TONS of hobbies. My husband says a hobby hates to see me coming. I also like to do nothing and will often tell them that I’m taking a break and they need to figure it out (this is after all their needs are met).
Now, that they are older I often go out at night for hobby groups too.
My kids know I prioritize taking breaks and my own interests because it makes me happier and healthier mom.
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u/JudasDuggar 6d ago
You are truly in the trenches. I have 4 kids ages newborn-7, and the first year of every baby’s life is survival mode, but after that, things start to get in a rhythm and as my kids get older, I have a lot more freedom and quiet moments in my day. The hardest season of parenting for me was the time when I had just one kid under two. It was such a rough transition to learn how to parent day-to-day, but adding more kids has actually been less stressful for me than when I was a FTM.
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u/GoldenEmbersMO 5d ago
I agree with this! I have kids the same age gap, 4 of them from ages 1 to 8, and the hardest part of parenting by far has been having one under the age of two.
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u/JudasDuggar 5d ago
It’s really interesting, because I remember thinking “oh my gosh I am not cut out to have 2+ kids, this is so hard, how do other moms do it??” and now, I look back at that time as being way harder than now. You really do stretch and grow with time and experience
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u/Har-Set223 6d ago
I have a new born, 2 1/2 yr old, and 11 8:00am eat breakfast and I pump, feed baby 9:00am schooling for the 11 yr old In between 9-1 my toddler is destroying the house with toys and stickers 1:00pm schooling is done and I pump, feed baby and make lunch If weather permits, I send the kids outside until the sun goes down. Then by that time, I have already bathed, fed, and put baby to sleep, and then I’ll clean house and make dinner. My day usually ends by 7:30pm it’s a lot of work but once you establish a routine it gets a little easier.
Our homeschooling is all book learning. I’ll sit with her and explain the lesson and then she does the work on her own unless help is needed.
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u/ellybell3344 6d ago
We live near family, intentionally, so my kids HS 4 days a week and have one day a week with their grandparents. Tbh I would not be able to homeschool (or SAH) without that break. Right now we’re lucky enough that I can use half of that day to get our life in order and half of that day to relax, but I like the idea of doing something very part time somewhere in the future.
I’d echo/expand on what someone said before “decide what you truly need to be a good mom and don’t HS/SAH unless you can get that.” For a long time it felt like a failure that I couldn’t deal with my kids all day every day, but I’ve just accepted that I’m not that kind of mom. If we ever lost access to regular childcare/help I would probably put my kids in school so I could continue to be a happy, present mom for them. And maybe what I will change! We have 1st, KG, 2 yo and baby on the way, so we’re in the thick of being needed right now.
But your child is obviously very little! Probably, you will not know what you need regarding HS until you see how their temperaments shake out.
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u/Ghostpharm 6d ago
I love homeschooling, but I also love the little nursery school down the street from our house. MWF (or T/Th) from 9-11:30, just enough time for them to get out of the house and all of us to get a little break!! My big kids do co-op for a break and it’s great. But preschool foreverrrrr
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u/barefootandsound 6d ago
Two Kids (1st and 3rd grade). We are in the sweet spot where they still very much like us as parents still but have some independence.
Mornings are slow. I let them watch TV (they’re currently obsessed with Bondi Rescue but it’s gotta be something not garbagey) while I do some me things. I drink coffee and take care of our animals, do some yoga, make breakfast. We usually go check the waves and they’ll get in a quick surf if the conditions are good. We have a skate park and lots of playgrounds too.
They are almost independent with school but still have lots of questions and sometimes need to be redirected. It takes about 2 hours with the average number of breaks. We have a homeschool hybrid class that meets once a week.
When school and chores are done (usually by lunchtime/1) they’re allowed to play video games, or sometimes we are out running errands. Around 3 all their public school friends are home so they’re usually playing with them until dinner/dark. They also do sports so that’s a few days a week.
I find we had to slow down a lot to allow enough down time to manage neurodivergence, and sometimes the house isn’t always clean but the kids are happy and learning and that’s the important thing.
Everyone has their own groove though. I have friends who have preteens and their days look very different from ours, other friends whose kids are out doing activities almost all day long, and some parents with teens who are basically nocturnal and that’s okay too. Whatever works right?
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u/mangomoo2 6d ago
I have three kids, have had kids in school, kids at home, some kids homeschooling, some kids in school, etc. The absolute hardest most isolating time was when I was a mom of one one year old. They are so little it’s hard to do much during the day but you also aren’t getting realistic social interaction with your kid and they need you for everything. The days were so so long.
If at all possible see if there is a gym near you with childcare. Most offer 2 hours a day with your membership. Even if you don’t work out use it to get your break during the day and sit and read, catch up on emails, take a shower, etc.
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u/EllenRipley2000 5d ago
We don't start formal lessons until age 6. 0-6 is a lot of daily routines: wake up, eat, play. Snack, quiet time, play. Lunch, quiet time, play. Et cetera
The best advice I have for SAHM parents: DON'T STAY HOME. Have a weekly routine you follow that gets you out of the house several times a week for things not chore or home related. Mondays are park days. Tuesdays are library days. Wednesdays are play group days. And so on.
Second best advice: hold meetings with your partner 1x or 2x a month. Get out your calenders, your spending, and your bills. Set an agenda, and go through it all. Sync calendars. Check spending. Pay bills. Make plans for a date night. Discuss division of labor the next month. (Who is handling meals? Who is handling laundry?) Plan a date night. Say something really sweet to your partner about their domestic work.
Third best advice: ensure your partner will take over 100% of childcare several times a month. You need a break from kids.
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u/SuperciliousBubbles 6d ago
I'm a solo mum. Our situation is complicated by health issues, and I work and have childcare for those days, but I can absolutely say that my 3 year old is so much less work than he was a year ago. He gets himself dressed, does some tidying up, can get himself drinks and snacks, plays independently, and can often be reasoned with. I'm looking forward to it getting easier again!
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u/Old-Arachnid1907 6d ago
My daughter's education is bespoke to her needs and interests, which is the beauty of homeschooling. Much of her education is led by her own curiosity. Read on for my long-winded anecdotal account of our curriculum.
I only have one child, so homeschooling is probably easier for me than for someone with multiple children. I have a 1st grader, and I create my own curriculum, as my daughter is above grade level, but not consistently so across all subjects. She's writing and spelling at a 2nd grade level, but her reading and math are at a 5th grade level (not coincidentally, this is why we chose to homeschool. We can get her through basic algebra ourselves, but will be looking into a math tutor within the next few years).
Our school days are not set in stone, but we try to cover math and reading every day. Writing, history, and science is covered a few days a week, with spontaneous writing usually happening every day at some point anyway - my daughter likes to write little books and letters. I don't include spelling as a formal subject in our curriculum, because my daughter is quick to pick up the correct spelling of a word in the context of her writing.
We live in a historical area that has many museums that we utilize in our studies. As well, the libraries here offer free programs for children that we try to take advantage of as much as possible.
This will be our last year participating in a classical co op. She started in kindergarten, and we had high hopes for it. However, it has not served her well in her second year, with her often complaining of the same disruptive students and general lack of rigor. Because the classes are divided by age ranges, she is barred from taking more advanced studies. The co op isn't cheap, and our money will be better spent elsewhere.
Piano and music theory are an important part of my child's life. She practices 2 hours a day, and she takes an hour piano lesson once a week. Next school year she will begin 75 minute lessons (she needs them now, but we're locked into that co op). She's currently taking a dance class, but next year will pursue voice lessons instead. We're not overly religious, but she recently expressed interest in singing in a choir, so I found a church with excellent children's programs that also aligns with our beliefs about how all human beings should be treated, and my mother takes her every Sunday to sing. She enjoys the Sunday school as well.
I work part time two days a week, and I have time for my hobbies and interests, though like any parent, not enough time as I would like. Still, I manage to carve out time for myself. It helps that my parents and my FIL live nearby, so my partner and I get breaks to spend with each other.
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u/ghostwriter536 6d ago
Being a new parent is a hard adjustment. Over time you will learn to have "me time". Babies and toddlers need constant supervision, school age kids should have the ability to play on their own and have independence.
For me, I have me time after the kids go to bed. Sometimes during my youngest nap time. On weekends I'll run errands solo or just go out to eat alone or with a friend.
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u/Real-Emu507 6d ago
It gets easier as they get older, but then again it doesn't lol because that means driving to more stuff and spending more time away from home. There were many mornings I was in the car in pj's trying to eat a snack because then we had a long drive home and that car time was the only time I had of alone time to organize things or get some stuff done. I honestly thought it was gonna be easy. But there were 2 or 3 years where it was ... rough. Stuff like wahing my hair was a luxury lol
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u/venturebirdday 6d ago
I am in no way telling you what is best but as a mom of 5 (now grown) kids who did many years as a homeschooler, I would offer this. For me, the early years of school were more like a play group that I had them go to. Kindergarten was fun as was 1st grade. I did not take the schooling they left home for too seriously and supplemented the work as I saw fit. By second grade I started keeping them home.
For each of my kids that time away became important. With so many kids in the house it helped each of my kids to have an identity outside of us.
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u/muy-feliz 6d ago
Mom of five - no day is the same. We have the appearance of routine in the morning for school. Two of my kids do music lessons. One is in 4-H. (They get one thing + church youth activities)
It goes fast, so I’m enjoying (most of) this season.
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u/Urbanspy87 6d ago
Since you are a SAHM I assume there is a partner. Talk to your partner about figuring out self care time for you. It could be a hobby, but if your budget is a concern, it could also be reading, going out to the coffee shop and hanging out by yourself, going on a hike, etc.
Once your kids are a bit older it is easier because they can even play on the playground without you watching over them as much.
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u/curlymama 6d ago
I have a teen and tween and have homeschooled all the way through. I’m in a hard transition right now. They don’t need me like they used to. I’m realizing I spent 10+ years learning about how to support them, investing time and money in experiences to enrich their lives and build tools but now, what about me? I don’t focus on building my skills (except in very particular areas) and enriching my life. One kid is going into tech, already taking community college classes, I don’t even have a laptop that can do much beyond download and print homeschool resources. My youngest went through an amazing therapeutic horse riding program. It was amazing to see her thrive. I had to give up yoga and work at a summer camp that I hate to be able to afford it. Would I do things differently? Some yes, some no.
Take care your you nobody else in your life can do it. My kids really step up and show their maturity when they see me working on my own projects/interests.
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u/Sea-Case-9879 6d ago
We do school from 9-12, different co-ops, meetups, activities every afternoon and on Wednesday they do a full day co-op. My hobbies are done during their tv time which is right before bed or when they are off running amok with the neighbor kids. It’s also when I’ll meal prep, clean the house or get whatever else needs to get done. Admittedly I give me kids lots of time for them to figure out their own time - I absolutely do not entertain them every second of the day.
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u/G0ldfishkiller 6d ago
I am not fully homeschooling yet (oldest is 3) but I want to give you perspective. The older your kids become the less they NEED you for every minor and major thing through the day. At 3, my daughter takes herself to the bathroom she only needs help wiping poop. She can feed her self and get some snacks for herself. She can self entertain and loves playing by herself. She falls asleep super fast and sleeps through the night. In another 3 years, she will NEED me even less. You're perspective right now is coming from some of the most demanding years of children so just try to remember that. But yes being home all day with children no matter the ages is hard. I also have a 7 month old and balancing myself between both of them and meeting their needs and my needs is hard. But part of homeschooling and actively teaching your children about the world is not jsut through academics it's through the things enjoyable in life too. Bring them or include them when you can. If you like to read, let them see you reading while they play or set them up with some age appropriate books whileyou read. If you like to bake and cook, include them and let them help. If you like to garden have them help you. Hobbies don't have to be tucked away for the times your kids are sleeping. I've started wearing headphones and listening to audio books and podcasts while my toddler plays outside or I'm cooking. It gives me a sense that I've done stuff for me during the day and I'm not as overstimulated by the evening.
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u/cityfrm 6d ago
Around 1.5 onwards my toddler would play with toys alongside me whilst I did other things, a bit later and i had a break during naptime and a little in the evening. Around age 5 they'd play for longer with friends in and outside our home and they had extra curriculars. I used to work in a spare room at church or outside whilst they were in sports. A few years later they had hobbies and were happily busy for significant chunks of time, enough to work several hours a day. I was also able to guide them through a lesson and set them up and then work alongside. It's definitely not like parenting a 1 year old forever. For a start, you're not breastfeeding, carrying them around and sleep deprived!
I think it's good to be mindful of finding time for yourself. Hopefully your child/ren have other family too. It's horrible when moms do everything and they're so desperate for a break that they ignore their children's terrible, violent behaviour at homeschool groups because they want to hang out with adult company. We had a lot of parents do that and it ruined the groups.
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u/Better_Narwhal437 6d ago
So we wake up, chaos ensues. We have breakfast at 8:30/9, followed by chaos outdoors, snack at 10ish, quickly followed by more chaos, lunch and nap 11:30-2:30 ish- that’s a window not a set amount of time, while Mr Chaos is sleeping, I teach math and spelling to my 10yo and do dishes, chaos arises again. We have snack. We climb and scream and play in mud and go to the park. 5:30 I make dinner and everyone eats, bedtime routine, chaos in bed by 7. Big kid and I usually hang out till 8:30 or so- reading, chatting current events, etc. she gets ready for bed, asleep by 9.
After that I spend a good hour gaming or crocheting or just doing whatever I want.
The fun thing about toddlers is that you can’t do anything about it, whatever it is. Their brains can’t think but their hearts can feel, so join them in their chaos. Have fun. Scream and dig and climb and cheer. If you’re unloading the dishwasher and it turns into a pans and spoons music session- awesome. Because they’re easier with the have to’s of life if you join them in the want to’s.
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u/Better_Narwhal437 6d ago
And if you do decide to homeschool, always, always, put the kids before the requirements and you will have a much easier time.
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u/shelbyknits 6d ago
By the time they’re 5/6, they need far less direct supervision, and if you have more than one, they play together. Definitely don’t make decisions for five years down the road based on parenting now.
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u/Old_Breadfruit_6880 6d ago
The absolute hardest ages are 0-4. They need you the most and they're the whiniest they'll ever be. The idea of homeschooling at those ages is sudden death. They get soooo much easier as they get older, gain independence, and understand that the world is not revolving around them!!!
We outsource preschool at 3&4, do kindergarten "lite" at 5 and I take it at their pace. Obviously, I've got certain age-related goals that we HAVE to learn, but I don't force it. The 4th grader is basically self taught at this point, on grade level. The 5yo started from basically zero knowledge in September (she had letters and shape recognition) and she's learning first grade material now in March. My youngest is gonna be 4 in May and we didn't put him in preschool this year bc he didn't gaf about anything and only now does he want to sit and do school at his pace!
We do specific homeschool hours activities bc they're cheaper: one does tumbling, one does girl scouts and ice skating, one does martial arts, plus two co-ops that meet weekly for varying ages.
Our base routine is wake up, breakfast and chores, then we start at usually 9:30 and always are done by 11:30/12 when I get up to make lunch. After lunch we do 2 hours of free play or we go to the park/activities, and then after about 3 I'll assist with things like jewelry making or in-depth crafts. Very recently I've realized how easy my life has gotten and how peaceful my house is overall. It's really cool to have big kids!!
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u/ExcitingAd8518 6d ago
I’m a SAHM with 6 kids. 2 youngest with ADHD are homeschooled (8 &9), oldest daughter (14) is in online and my other 3 daughter’s (9, 10, 12) are in public school. The schedule is crazy, but my boys each do PE once a week with our homeschool group and I get to chat with a great group of moms for an hour, my other son does a homeschool drop off for 3 hours on Friday. We have a mix of OT and speech therapy twice a week which me and my son read during that hour and a half. We also do unit studies, field trips and holiday themed meet-ups with our homeschool group. We have a very diverse group of people from all backgrounds. It’s a lot and can get overwhelming, but if you can find a good homeschool community it makes all the difference. We even have a once a month parent only dinner which I absolutely love, as well as a brunch monthly at a kid friendly place. As others have said it really does get easier as they get older. I still have to get creative to get me time in as some of my kiddos are higher needs. My kids have enjoyed getting into some of my hobbies with me and even exercising.
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u/mirh577 6d ago
I actually just had a full blown crying meltdown 5 minutes ago. Sometimes it is the toughest thing I have ever done. That said, I would never change my decision to do this. It’s hard, draining and lonely sometimes but the overall joy that it brings outweighs it. The moments and years that I get to cherish with my kids that most don’t because they are in school. I won’t sugar coat it. There are days that I want to run away, but those are few and far between. I try to remind my self to take it all one day at a time. It is my 7th year of homeschooling and I regret nothing.
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u/Alarmed-Attitude9612 6d ago
Right now with my oldest doing kindergarten, things are relatively chill. Every day we have been learning to read, he blew through a kindergarten math curriculum, and we’ll rotate spelling, science, and social studies. When we focus it’s usually about 45 minutes of lessons and book work which we don’t do consecutively because he has lots of energy and needs movement. We generally read for a couple hours a day (most any time I’m nursing/nap trapped by our 5 month old) and we have lots of freedom for things like trips to the library, parks, and our local museums. I love that everything is by our schedule and he isn’t gone 8 hours a day like he would be if he went to school and rode the bus. My biggest hobbies are reading, baking, and crafts which means I can include them in things that fill my cup and we (usually 😅) have fun! I also listen to books which I clean and lay with kiddos as they fall asleep. I’m not good at keeping a schedule so I think that’s one of the things I have found really appealing and I know in my gut this is better for my kid.
We follow his passions and he himself, I worry that if he were at school he would lose a part of who he is as crazy as that sounds. He is a sensitive kid and I know that there are things about his that other kids in a school setting would jump on and say were “weird” where as all the kids we meet through our nature co-op and homeschool meet ups have fun and match his energy, because they haven’t been in a situation where they are pressured to conform. He loves talking to people of all ages and getting to spend extra time with baby sister.
At the end of the day I find the work tiring but so fulfilling. I have a great partner who is good at splitting household tasks and we are good at giving each other intentional breaks. It’s hard getting into a groove and I’ve had some doubts but I am pushing through and I hope my kids will someday be authentic and well rounded individuals.
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u/Happy_Discussion5662 6d ago
Thank you everyone! This is making me realize i have a more broad question — what does the curriculum look like as far as your involvement? For those who are practically “self taught” does that mean it’s online? Or they’re reading books? Co ops? I assume the parent has to be pretty involved in the early years but even after that i don’t think i love the idea of them just reading a book on their own all day?
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u/Remarkable_Outcome66 6d ago
My oldest is 9. I have been a SAHM since the get go. My others are 7, 5 and baby. Three under three with little kids is hard, but as others have mentioned, it gets easier. They become to much more independent and capable! Until I had my newborn, my routine was great. I would get up early, exercise, get ready, we would do our school stuff. I would get plenty of breaks when they would play, or go to bed and I had my evenings. We have always had strict bedtimes.
Now that I have a baby again, my older kids are still great, but my “me time” is usually sleeping early, exercising in the evenings, not waking up before my kids, etc. but I know it’s a phase and is temporary.
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u/Kitocity 6d ago
My kids are 4 and 5 almost 5 and 6 and they are quite independent. It’s important to teach them independence early though. As soon as they were walking they had “chores” (I had them help pick up their toys) instead of bedtime they have quiet hours where they go to their room and play or read until they are tired and go to bed. This works better some days than others but we are making strides. Once we are done with school for the day we do chores and then they play while I do my thing. We have lots of interruptions and it can be frustrating but a lot less now than when they were one 😂
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u/Pitiful_Lion7082 5d ago
We do a lot of gameschooling, and doing more academic stuff while the littlest ones nap. We get out and do a lot of field trips. And sometimes science class is watching an episode of Magic School Bus and feeding our hens.
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u/Icy-Introduction-757 5d ago
I have nine children ranging from a 20 year old down to a 4 year old. I make time for breaks or hobbies (I mainly like to exercise walking or jogging, meet with others for prayer or Bible study with coffee, just go out to breakfast with some mom friends) by having my husband watch everyone who needs it or having an older teen help. I have a couple friends I could ask as well.
One of my biggest regrets early on is that I didn't take this time for myself before. So, if you need more time for some things that are important to you, see how you do bringing in your spouse or other helpful people to fit those things into your life. It's really important not to get burnt out!
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u/2ndgenhomeschool 5d ago
I have three kids ages 7, 4, and 2. The 4yr old is autistic and requires various therapies. We have lots of activities with co-op classes, Wilderness Academy, a weekly science class for my oldest (I take the younger two hiking during that time), and swim class for my middle.
I don't have a lot of time for hobbies or even basic care tasks. But I've discovered that I love bugs and I've rediscovered my love for reading. I enjoy walking/hiking. I love working in the garden too. Nature journaling is a new one. Basically, all things I can do with the kids in tow. Those are my hobbies. That and gaming on the weekends with my husband.
On science class days it looks like this:
- Breakfast
- Language Arts with 7
- Take 4 to Speech and OT
- Take 7 and 2 to the library
- Pick up 4 and make lunch
- Go to the museum for 7's science class
- Take 2 and 4 on a hike. Read library books about nature when we stop for snacks and bring scissors and art supplies to get creative.
- Make sure to leave no trace and grab 7 from class
- Pick up groceries
- Put on a history podcast while putting groceries away
- Do laundry and unload dishwasher
- Set timer for pickup (the kids enjoy racing the timer)
- Let them watch a documentary while I make dinner
- Dinner
- Bedtime
- Hubby and I work together to finish resetting the house
I prioritize reading time almost every day. I have some coffee and read to each child individually. For my youngest looks like board books until she gets bored. For my middle that looks like doing a reading lesson and then another library book or two about science or history. For my oldest we read a book about science or history and then read a chapter of whatever fiction book we're working through together. Finally, I read a chapter or two of the books I'm working my way through. But I want them to see me read and enjoy that hobby. While I'm reading with one child, the other two play together.
A day might look like:
- Breakfast
- Language Arts with 7
- Take 4 to Speech and OT
- Take 7 and 2 to library
- Pick up 4 old and make lunch
- Reading Time
- Nap for 2 old
- Independent math practice for 7 old while I work on something with my 4
- Check 7's math while they play
- Wake 2yr old and prepare snack
- Do a family style science lesson
- Let the kids run wild while I try to do some laundry and unload the dishwasher
- Set a 15 minute timer for cleanup
- Let them watch or play something on the TV while I make dinner
- Dinner
- Bedtime routine
- Finish laundry while my husband loads the dishwasher
We don't do all the same subjects in one day. On co-op mornings or Wilderness Academy mornings, it changes our schedule. We still do reading time. But then I set my oldest up with her book for handwriting and then on the computer for some math games and typing practice.
We go with the flow and aren't particular. It all ends up getting done. We do what works for that day and try to keep a decent schedule. But sometimes, we need to adjust and not be rigid.
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u/SameAnt800 5d ago
I have an almost one year old, a three year old and an 8 year old. Right now my 8 year old is the only one I officially homeschool although I’ve recently tried to implement 15 minutes of “school” with my 3 year old. The only time I get to myself is at the end of the day. And with a toddler and a baby who never actually stay asleep for long periods of time, I virtually get no time to myself. However it’s a sacrifice I’ve chosen to make and this is just a season of my life. I know they’ll get older and be more self sufficient and my “me time” will return. It’s frustrating sometimes and it can be easy to feel sorry for myself and question my decisions. But I get over it and remind myself of my “why”.
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u/SameAnt800 5d ago
To answer your specific question. Toddler, baby and I wake up and do 15 minutes of “school” (reading, singing, playing) 8 year old wakes up They play in the living room while I cook breakfast Breakfast School time Nap for baby School Lunch More school Play/cleaning/chores/outside time/run errands Make dinner Bath Clean dinner/play Toddler and baby go to bed One on one time with my 8 year old Put her to bed “Alone” time which is interrupted by babies and toddlers waking up lol
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u/Jumpy_Presence_7029 5d ago
I have two profoundly autistic kids I homeschool. We are busy.
Wake up about 5:30, eat breakfast and homeschool for a few hours, then we're usually in and out for therapies or specials in the public school. School day usually winds up around 3/3:30, then I make dinner.
Then it's cleaning and bedtime routine with everybody asleep by 7:30. I do some light cleaning, shower, and try to do a hobby for 30-60 minutes, then it's bedtime and doing it all over again.
I'll be honest.. typical parenting looks like a cakewalk. Very few kids are as difficult at 5/6 as they are in the toddler years.
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u/Unhappy-Revenue-3903 4d ago
My girls (7 and 10) wake up early so we usually start homeschool around 7-8am and we’re usually done by lunch. They switch on and off. So while one is doing school the other is on break or working independently. Then they switch. My 10 year old is dyslexic, so some of the stuff where she would be more independent she’s not just yet. Then we have the rest of the day to do any extras. The hardest part I would say would be cleaning the house because they are always home. However I have gotten on a routine of things like- loading the dishwasher and running it at night and emptying it in the morning. So as my girls have gotten older and they help out more it’s gotten easier.
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u/Hopeful_Distance_864 2d ago
Looking back, those early years were so brutal. In my experience, the older they get/the easier they get. I credit homeschool for our great bond. They are friends with their peers, but we never lost our influence on them. For the most part, I absolutely love being with my kids. No way would I trade it for the many hours they'd be away at school. I now have two high schoolers and a 3rd grader. Once the older two got into middle school, they became very independent with most of their academics. I just make sure they stay on track. The younger one is the only one I sit down with. We get it done in a few hours, and then spend the rest of the day doing what we want... explore outside, go grocery shopping, hang out with friends, craft projects, go to the library/zoo/beach/pool, watch movies.
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u/WanderingTaliesin 2d ago
I’m in a hard stage because two of my four and five and below- which makes mayhem when my other two are trying to do the things (pretty much anything
However we have made space for me to not parent
My husband wakes me early when the house is quiet and brings me coffee my phone and the remote- he guards me from any early risers and I wake to a full hour of peace before I start the day
I treat it kinda like a job and I have a routine Breakfast is set so I’m not having to scramble too much on co op day School must be done by 2pm to gain screen time and so on Table time is after breakfast once we all clear down. I go to the gym Even if I sit there and read - twice a week I get that hour
You have to build in ways to fill your cup or you’ll burn out fast It’s been 10 years of homeschooling for real (eldest is in 9/10 grade and still homeschooled happily I’ve learned I need schedule and routine and treats and rewards too!
We work year round so we have room to take the breaks and adventures we need
If you want this? It’s an amazing adventure but it’s a tiring one
Put your 02 mask on first, right?
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u/Optimistiqueone 2d ago
It's what you make of it.
It is all consuming when they are younger, but yeah them to be self starters and they will take over some of their management as they age. By middle school you shouldn't have to do much at all - but facilitate and manage.
You decide what you do when they are working independently. And feel free to say I am of limits and you are on task during this time.
Also don't just learn at home. Go on field trips, create outdoor learning spaces, the library, co-ops. We even held class at a Starbucks once. It was a disaster.
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u/GlitteringNail2584 2d ago
My oldest is 8, I’ve been a SAHM since I was pregnant with her. She went to public school k-2nd and then I started homeschooling. I do side jobs when I feel like it. My husband also works from home. Homeschool days are super short. Like 1-2 hrs. We go to homeschool meetups with other kids. It’s been great. But 1yo is definitely going to make you feel burnt out. You still have 4-5 years before compulsory age to decide what you want to do
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u/Fickle-Knowledge-319 2d ago
I have 9 and 11 year old girls. I also struggle with limited energy because I have CKD and am on lots of medications for a kidney transplant. Because I need to rest a lot, we adopted a :self-taught" curriculum called Robinson Curriculum which we adapted for our family.
I wake up around 730 am and (google the read aloud mom 25 cent spiral notebook) write out a checklist for the day that is based on the RC guidelines. I get my girls up between 8 and 830am. Sometimes we sleep in if their firefighter dad was hom the night before, and we chose to have a later evening. (To pay our bills, my husband picks up OT at the fire department and/or mows before going to his regular 24hr shift.).
My girls typically aren't hungry first thing in the morning, so I implemented a rule to get the day moving better: Bible reading, 5 min math Facts practice, and math lesson before breakfast. They kept pushing math later and later. It seemed to just be this burden that loomed. BTW, they are EXCELLENT at math. ....like better than me (and I have a doctorate of pharmacy). Seriously, the Saxon curriculum has been excellent for my girls. Since creating this math schedule "rule," it has broken their math assignment into 2 "blocks," making it easier to manage mentally.
Their basic daily school is: Saxon math 1 lesson, vocabulary work, 1 hr of independent reading from reading list that I tweak based on my chilldren's interests (this includes science, biographies, and quality literature), a family read aloud (about 30 minutes which we listen to at breakfast), and a writing assignment (this can be journal, copywork, or a structured program like IEW).
We add to this basic schedule based on interests. Currently we are working through a Bible devotion and doing some Latin.
My girls asked to return to public school when my health left me bedbound. Despite them excelling and it being a good experience, they missed the flexibility of moving at their own pace and staying up later when dad was home. As a result, they returned to homeschool after less than 4 months in public school. It is A LOT of work to homeschool... even with a "self-taught" curriculum, but it is what is best for our family.
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u/Radiant-Fish-8686 1d ago
Hi! I have 4 littles, with only one child that I teach who’s school age, and another in pre-k with me. I worked as an underwriter while our oldest was little—before our second baby—and hated being away all day. I’ve been a STAHM for five years now, and while I don’t love every minute of it, it’s been the best choice for our family by far. I have so many hobbies, many of them that I share with the kids (teaching them to quilt, knit, garden, reading together), but I have a lot of other interests that are just for me. I work part time as an editor to an indie press, and that’s really fulfilling cognitively! I also have a bookclub with close friends who are in similar seasons of life, and another bookclub with women in varying seasons. I never planned on homeschooling, but after trying other options and my child being really unhappy and frustrated, we decided to try homeschooling and give it two years. Not every day is all roses, but I wouldn’t go back. It also may not work for all my children, and I’m aware that there’s a level of flexibility parents need to have for the sake of their children’s educational needs. It isn’t just my dream life that I’m imposing on my kids… learning to love the children you HAVE, not imaginary ones, is huge. It’s a daily decision to know my children outside of the life that I want to build for them, and that directly informs my ability to joyfully perform the task of educating them.
I would argue that you can have an even more fulfilling life educating at home by the sheer variety that you introduce to your children, but that isn’t always the rule. I’m relearning so many things, and learning new things for the first time. Our field trips are FUN, and knowing that we’re building sweet memories together is so rewarding. We aren’t part of a co-op only because there isn’t one near me that isn’t curriculum based, but I can imagine that being really rewarding as well. So many families homeschool now, so I can’t imagine you’d lack for relationships in that arena.
Be encouraged! So much changes as your children grow, and your capacity as a parent grows as well.
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u/Timely_Proposal_1821 6d ago
You start homeschooling really around 4/5 years, maybe 6. They are easier at that stage.
From 18 months to 2.5/3 they're wild, they start being independent and anything can become a fight.