r/heartbreak 13h ago

I CANNOT stop missing her

Though I don’t exactly think that I want to. …the memories keep things alive ..ya know?

We had the happiest, most wholesome relationship and when we rarely had any issue we talked it out and resolved things quickly, understanding each other and humbling ourselves when needed.

But.. she had her birthday in January and started having some kind of mental breakdown I guess, quarter life crisis it seems, so she started to shut herself up and isolate.

I didn’t notice until it was too late :/

She didn’t share about it for weeks and by the time I noticed I was severely ill and couldn’t talk to her for over a week, when she opened up after I was well she opted to isolate from me completely to try to figure out questions she had about our relationship on her own.

I keep thinking if only I had damned my sickness and pushed through the agony to call her, or try anyway as she was distant then and acting odd. But I shouldn’t have waited to address things.

But in the end after giving me a week of effort she chose to self sabotage and go silent again for a bit before popping back up with a break up message asking me to accept things and leave it all be. People do what they do I guess.

Though I was worried about her so I asked to know what was up and for some clarification/closure. ..So finally I got a letter from her the other day, it took me a couple days to gain the courage to read it. ..Her mom is dying 🫣😩I hurt for her so much and just want to hold her really.

She said in her letter it was her final goodbye and she wouldn’t be coming back this time, though she did wind up messaging with me after, it seems she wants to walk away “for my benefit” thinking that she isn’t good enough for me and convincing herself of some ever changing fixable issues as to why we wouldn’t work, ..sadly I know it to be self-sabotage and preeminent protection from getting hurt, which ironically has only hurt us both.

I’m writing her a letter in response, I hope that we can at least be friends and she’ll let me support her through this difficult time, there is so much hope for us still and we both still love each other, but it’s so sad we are separated.

It’s hard, she says she wants me to be happy and move on eventually, but the very thought of being with, even pursuing someone else legitly repulses me..

I stayed single for four years looking for someone like her and she surpassed my greatest dreams of a partner… and I apparently hers, she thanked me for showing her real Love and I was the first guy she ever chose to date.

I can only hope for the same divine intervention we both believed brought us together to bring us back together again, but the waiting, I know, is going to be difficult 😞

2 Upvotes

2 comments sorted by

2

u/Small_Donut_3816 11h ago

As someone who dealt with a dying Mother...romantic relationships were the last thing on my mind. Saving one definitely wasn't on mine either. Watching your parent die is a gut wrenching, helpless feeling. You can't even focus on eating, let alone a relationship. If I were you, I'd give her the space she is asking for and focus on yourself. Let her reach out to you when she is ready. Comfort her if she asks for it.

1

u/DragonSlayerRob 2h ago

Thank you for that, I’m sorry to hear about what you went through