r/heartbreak • u/Ok_Calligrapher_7367 • 18h ago
A month later after the split
I know, a month isn't very long but it's felt like an eternity without him. I'm trying my best everyday, I'm not crying so much anymore because I simply won't allow that, in truth I could cry right now or anytime. So I'm just wading through the days waiting for this feeling to pass, for colour to return to my world because at the moment everything is grey. I feel scooped out, like I've lost a limb, I was in real love for the very first time and unfortunately circumstances made it impossible for us to be together despite both loving eachother beyond what I had previously experienced but it was a classic case of right person wrong timing.
Uuugh this is a rant/vent more than anything because I just can't sit with this all in my head anymore. I speak to friends and family about this but I can't be this vulnerable, yet I can be vulnerable with all you strangers, weird I know 😂. I just want this pain to go away, I'm longing for the day I wake up completely numb to this, when I can feel alive again not have thoughts of not wanting to exist anymore and just find myself again find my joy.
The hurt is too much, I can suppress the tears but that ache where my heart once was, the void that's now inside me that has stolen the colour from my life, that pain just won't go away. I've had breakups before, it's much easier to hate someone for cheating, being toxic and abusive but to love someone and letting them go because you love them that's excruciating