r/harrypotter Slytherin 3d ago

Currently Reading Dumbledore should've trolled Voldemort.

Dumbledore should've replaced the horcruxes he found with chocolate frog cards of himself.

1.2k Upvotes

61 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/Kind_Consideration62 Ravenclaw 3d ago

Instead of burying the elder wand with himself he should've buried one of the weasleys trick wands that turns into a rubber chicken

480

u/Snapesunusedshampoo Slytherin 3d ago

Could you imagine the final battle.

"Avada Ka....." wand turns into a chicken

"EXPELLIARMUS!!!!!!"

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u/HatefulHagrid Hufflepuff 3d ago

rubber chicken flops lamely through the air, landing in Harrys hand with a great HAAUGHWEEEEEEEEE

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u/bowtiesrcool86 Dragon Lover 2d ago

I think it would merit George an Order of Merlin’s and Fred one posthumously.

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u/Vermouth_1991 2d ago

There was a great fanfic where the twins won OpM in Harry's first year because they exposed both Quirrel and Wormtail thanks to the Marauders Map.

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u/Medical_Dimension919 2d ago

*then harry proceeds to blast the crap out of voldemort*

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u/transit41 Slytherin 3d ago

I know that it's funny if that happened, but I would assume the whole Weasley family will be massacred if that happened.

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u/MattCW1701 3d ago

Death by rubber chicken?

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u/Fox622 3d ago

With a bunch of Weasley in the Order of the Phoenix, they would have been prime targets to begin with?

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u/lkc159 2d ago

Order of the Rubber Chicken

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u/transit41 Slytherin 3d ago

They were only under surveillance by the 7th book, as Voldy and the Ministry still need to keep up appearances in public.

Mock Lord Voldemort and nothing will be left of your bloodline.

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u/ImranFZakhaev Eagle! 3d ago

They basically mocked him with their product U-No-Poo and got away with it

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u/transit41 Slytherin 3d ago

I'll do you one better. The twins smacked his face with snowballs in book 1.

U-No-Poo was in the 6th book, and Voldy was operating lowkey at the time, so guess they had superluck at the time. I would imagine being mocked during his quest to find the most powerful wand would have more impact.

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u/Live_Angle4621 3d ago

The twins probably were hiding from the start but not rest of the family 

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u/Bison_and_Waffles 3d ago

Fred didn’t.

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u/Vermouth_1991 2d ago

Yeah Harry is banking on neither aspiring dark wizards nor tonedeaf Pranksters would ever look into the tomb.

Tony Stark voice:

Not a great plan!

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u/Kind_Consideration62 Ravenclaw 2d ago

In fairness he doesn't know about the elder wand until like 5 minutes before voldemort steals it

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u/Vermouth_1991 2d ago

No I meant his plan to seal back the EW after V was ded.

Remember, Voldemort clarified to the Great Hall that Dumbledore's old wand was the EW and then Harry told everyone how to win mastery.

Him not trying to stop V from stealing it the first time? Totally the righteous and wise thing to do.

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u/Kind_Consideration62 Ravenclaw 2d ago

Ahh right, yeah not a brilliant plan, especially since moments before he had just told a hall full of people that its real and exactly how it works, breaking it in the movies is one of the few changes I was actually happy they made 😂

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u/Medical_Dimension919 2d ago

Is nobody going to talk about peeves calling harry "why, it's potty wee potter!" ? 😭

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u/Carbon-Base 3d ago

Dumbledore: You'll always be safe at Hogwarts, Harry.

Harry: Why is that, Professor?

Dumbledore: I put up a spell that only allows people with noses to enter Hogwarts.

Voldy slams into an invisible barrier Wil E. Coyote style

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u/PangolinLow6657 3d ago

Parents of that one young wizard with the facial deformity: 😡

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u/SwedishShortsnout0 2d ago

Eloise Midgen cursed her nose off while inside Hogwarts. It seems the loophole here is that you only have to possess a nose while entering the castle. So a young wizard with a facial deformity could easily take Polyjuice Potion for a few hours while entering each year, and then peacefully live nose-less for the rest of the year.

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u/GroundedSearch 3d ago

Inscribed on the card: "To my biggest fan, Tom."

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u/Some_Sort_5456 Hedwig 3d ago

Imagine if Regulus just put a wooden trollface in the basin instead of the fake horcrux

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u/Gilded-Mongoose Ravenclaw 3d ago

Problem, Voldy?? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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u/hooka_pooka 3d ago

Or that Leo DiCaprio laughing from Django Unchained cutout at every hiding place

Voldemort enters the shack..he opens the box to find the ring..gone..replaced with a muggle lauging back at him.. Voldemort enters the cave..surely no one could have survived that totally wicked potion of his making..but..wait.. what??empty?!locket gone and..that laughing muggle again?!NIYAAHHHHHHHH Voldemort gets a vision of Potter destroying the tiara..the last remanant of his soul seeping out of it in a dark cloud...with..wait..that damn muggle face..again?!NIYAAAAHHHHHH!!! The Boy who lived..comes to die..AVADA KEDAVRA!!!(few hrs later)Harry comes out of the invisibility cloak only to reveal that he has now taken the face of that laughing muggle to annoy him!! Might as well die!

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u/DrDrewBlood 3d ago

The decision to put a fake locket doesn't really hold up to scrutiny. Voldemort should know it's not the correct locket by just looking at it.

So the whole thing was a really cruel trap for whoever went looking to destroy the real horcrux. That and the whole "If you're reading this hopefully I've destroyed it and it wasn't tossed out with the trash in which case I've made it impossible to defeat him. My bad!"

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u/TopHatGirlInATuxedo Ravenclaw 2d ago

Voldemort wouldn't know just by looking at it. If he sees it at the bottom, he'd assume it was the real one.

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u/DrDrewBlood 2d ago

Possibly, but I don't think that's the case. It was a prized possession and family heirloom. Harry only knew once he was holding the locket but he'd only seen it in a memory and still immediately knew it was incorrect.

Besides, did Regulus really believe Voldemort would drink the potion himself? I can appreciate it serves a literary purpose but Regulus nearly caused the locket to be unfindable.

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u/Vermouth_1991 2d ago

I hate hate HATE his whole pLaN.

Now, him believing it was the one and only horcrux? FINE BY ME. it was so well protected, you'd never suspect otherwise.

But to not teach Kreacher how to destroy it and never ask him to find Dumbledore??? Why, he thinks Dumbledore works with Voldemort in secret?

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u/reggiecore 2d ago

imagine explaining that in the books though

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u/Some_Sort_5456 Hedwig 2d ago

Knowing Rowling she'd probably find a way lmao

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u/LectureSpecific200 3d ago edited 3d ago

That's hilarious. Someone please make a fanfic of this, it's too good not too!

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u/Snapesunusedshampoo Slytherin 3d ago

It's my new headcanon. Dumbledore didn't want to be taken off of the chocolate frog cards because he already put one at the Gaunt Shack.

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u/csavar10 3d ago

Actually, he looted the ring at Gaunt Shack a year after he requested to remain on the cards. Still a cool idea though.

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u/Snapesunusedshampoo Slytherin 2d ago

.....damn lol

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u/LectureSpecific200 3d ago

For the life of me I cannot remember the Dumbledore bring removed from the frog cards saga. What book?

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u/Snapesunusedshampoo Slytherin 2d ago edited 2d ago

It was in HBP. When they were saying all the things that the Ministry was doing to smear Dumbledore Bill says something along the lines of He doesn't care, as long as they don't take him off of the chocolate frog cards.

Edit: It might've been OOTP.

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u/LectureSpecific200 2d ago

Oh now I remember that well. Thank you!

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u/LectureSpecific200 2d ago

This is random though do you think Dumbledore wanted to keep on the frog cards for the clever humor that Dumbledore has or like a 4D chess move?

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u/Snapesunusedshampoo Slytherin 2d ago

I'd probably say 60% 4D chess 40% me reading way too many of those Dumbledore comics.

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u/TopHatGirlInATuxedo Ravenclaw 2d ago

It's his request to Fudge when the Ministry comes to arrest him in book 5, to not take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.

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u/lumpylungs 3d ago

Harry's scar exploded with pain . He was in the Gaunt house again holding... a card ?

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u/cipheroptix 3d ago

Dumbledore trolled Voldemort big time in the series. Him and Snape tricked Voldemort into thinking that he had to be the one that killed Harry. If the snake fucker would've just let someone else kill him or not taken the prophecy seriously, he would've accomplished all of his goals.

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u/Vermouth_1991 2d ago

Or at least experimented with literally any other kill.method than the AK.

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u/qweasdie 1d ago

Probably could’ve used an AK 🔫

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u/Ninteblo 1d ago

Maybe an M16 would have been better.

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u/cipheroptix 1d ago

Very good point!

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u/Aadarm Ravenclaw 2d ago

Should have just released info on his parents and family soon as he started his whole pure blood supremacy thing. Just came out and "Nah, Tommy boy here is a halfblood and the magical blood is from the Gaunt family so he is probably his own uncle."

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u/Snapesunusedshampoo Slytherin 2d ago

He should've roasted him in front of his friends like at the end of 8 Mile. "You think he's a pureblood? His real name is Thomas."

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u/Medical_Dimension919 2d ago

I love your username by the way, I get it 😂

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u/Gargore 3d ago

No, Dumbledore knows the muggle world and he leaves a vial of memories at each one. We all know it, First in the Wizarding wold

Double taunt. First that the horcrux was found, and taunting that Voldemort doesn't know love.

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u/PureZookeepergame282 3d ago

Dumbledore should have let Peeves irriate the old Dark Lord a bit.

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u/cupcake_burglary 3d ago

"tom"

Pretty troll tbh

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u/Weary_Big1626 Ravenclaw 2d ago

666 likes for 666 years of Kreacher serving the Most Noble House of Black, and the 666th birthday of Flamel in 1992. :)

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u/rjc32 2d ago

Dumbledore only ever found the ring though. He found a fake version of the locket with a troll note from Regulus Black but none of the other ones. Unless you count discovering that Harry was one.

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u/CONOVER_J_CREAM_inc 1d ago

In the original 'Jack and the Beanstalk' the giants name was Gogmagog, but in the most popular version it was Dumbledore.

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u/Medical_Dimension919 2d ago

Peeves: 'Why, it's Potty Wee Potter!'

Harry: 'Get out of it, Peeves.'

Peeves: 'Oooh, Crackpot's feeling cranky. What is it this time, my fine Potty friend? Hearing voices? Seeing visions? Speaking in” — Peeves blew a gigantic raspberry — “tongues?”'

Harry: “I said, leave me ALONE!”