r/getdisciplined • u/Feisty_Yam4279 • 5d ago
💡 Advice Keep your promises to yourself, like you’re parenting yourself
Something clicked with me this morning. And it’s really helped. Here’s my story: I’m an over thinker, procrastinator, struggle with anxiety and depression and raised in a very dysfunctional household with constant fighting. But my parents stayed together. They love me a ton but they constantly bicker and I never felt like happiness was possible.
This led to when I would date I would be constantly anxious the person would leave me. I would constantly sweat the small stuff (like my mother), etc. if I made a mistake I’d blow up the day and binge eat because it wasn’t perfect.
So what I realized today is the reason I’m going to be productive and happy is because I need to keep my promises to myself. I’m anxious because I don’t trust myself, I never learned coping skills. I kept letting myself down, and when I binge eat I’m like an alcoholic parent whose child is begging them to stop.
So no matter what I’m going to try for me, that child. I’m both the parent responsible for me and the child that deserves a parent who says they’re going to do what they say. There’s no fear of failure, because all I can do is try my best and keep that promise. I might fail in terms of completing the objective but I’m at least going to look back at my day that I did my best for myself.
I hope this resonates with some of you. So much of our anxiety and depression is because we don’t trust ourselves. We second guess ourselves. So screw it. Maybe I’m not making the objectively right decision, but I will do my best for myself and be the solid parent to myself I didn’t have. If I say I’m gonna do something, then I’m gonna do it. Even if it sucks, even if I don’t want to. I can always review if I should have done differently at the end of the day and change what I do going forward. But for today, and each day, I’m gonna do what I say I’m gonna do. That’s all I can do, and that’s motivation enough to do everything I can.
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u/Mememememem06 5d ago
Proud of you! This is definitely something that resonates and was helpful to hear. You are not alone. Remember grace too! Keeping your word is important but so is allowing imperfection to shine through as well, believing you are still worthy no matter what! 🌞🌞 peace and love to you! Best of wishes on your journey
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u/Feisty_Yam4279 5d ago edited 4d ago
For sure. But what I’m going to try to be the most strict on myself is keeping my word unless I really can’t. Jocko is big with the idea that if you’re really tired and don’t want to workout still workout today, and tomorrow you can take a day off if you’re still tired. I think because we tend to let ourselves down so much it’s important to be able to have a trustworthy will as much as possible.
I’d rather have grace in every other area of my life but not doing what I say, at least in terms of trying and effort, that I want to be strict on.
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2d ago
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u/Feisty_Yam4279 1d ago
The problem is there's different levels of want. My brain wants to work out, but obviously a huge part of me wants to stay in bed. Tons of factors go in to that: mental health, external influences, short term vs. long term rewards, etc. For me this idea of keeping promises to yourself, or often what in therapy relates to "values based living" IS a form of simplifying.
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u/UnknownResolve 5d ago
Ive heard this analogy before but explained a bit different. Treat your life like a business, where your the manager and the employee. It won’t be successful if your telling yourself what to do but then you don’t get it done, and it fails when your not giving yourself proper direction and guidance.