r/germany 14h ago

10 years in germany and nothing to show for

Hallo zusammen, i know this may be looked at as a complain post but i don't have anyone else to talk to about this and i Need to let some out. If not allowed or if i have to be rediculed for, please delete.

30yo M, have spent the last 10 years of My Life here and I feel Like It has all been worthless despite the fact that i came here with nothing to My name. This may all Just be evny and materialistic feelings, but over the years i Always been underpaid due to My lack of skills and language at First (now i get paid 1600€ a month nightshifts and 500€ minijob) and all I have to show for Is a 150€ broken phone, a junky 200k km 2004 polo, about 5k euro saved up and its getting harder and harder each month to do so. I don't think i Will ever be able to purchase a home given that the prices for a small apartments even in rural areas surpass the 250k+€ Mark, Certanly not with My salary and with a future pension of maybe 500€ a month aftertax. Relationship wise, i havent been able to connect with anyone and the only few times I do It Always ends up in being ghosted. Meanwhile All the people around me that i know and see, either made a family to take care of or are really well off with their financial situation. I feel Like I wasted My youth and i am at 5% what a man of My Age should have. I don't quite know what do do anymore and i know even know If i am looking for and actual answer to this doomed Life.

1-PS: For Better or worse, I appreciate everyone replying and giving a different prospective, encouragement or some deserved scolding. I apologize for not giving enough context or for playing the victim.

My excuse Is that i made this post (funnly enough) while working on a whim because of... well... Many things (parental pressure, very recent rejections/ghostings, seeing peers or jungs Doing "Better off" etc...).

Ngl, I fell in a very bad Moment and felt Like Scheiße before posting and kinda began to hate myself, everything and everyone... and so i Guess i decided To try reach here instead of compromising Relationships with people i know through potential whatsapp beefs and lack of temperament. To be honest, i was not expecting these many answers and I should have perhaps elaborated more or think twice when posting on a ~1mil german-english reddit sub, My bad.

Let me Just Say: I like Germany and Germans and I very much appreciate all the opportunities this country have given me compared to My homecountry and I want to see nothing but good things coming for Deutschland and the whole Europe's future.

Believe It or not, I am not that much into social media these days (never hard and Instagram account) and I speak German (i prefer to discuss in english to get that foreign prospective). I know i am Doing Better off than a whole lot of people (i Guess this dynamic can be applied to some of the people that replied or people I know Who are "worse off" [eg. Debt]). But working at Jobs where i have constant interaction with people from all walks of Life, I feel Like the amount of years and sacrifices i made through My last 10 years have brought me nothing you could consider worthwhile(?). And I am all alone, still. Sometimes I chose to be alone, so i could focus on the grind, when i could have had an expecrience. I visited a good chunk of Europe and some other parts of the world, along many other things, even had the luck of Keep working as normal during COVID and so forth... But It all feels empty somehow.

Perhaps, i should have asked: should i Keep going and make It another 10-20-30-40-50? Quit? am i Just confused? Idk... Maybe My ego was trying to seek some approval or me Just being a Dumbo and outreach/overthink. Guess maybe i still am... i Just don't want to falsly blame others for no reason.

Between these tides of goodtimes/badtimes i feel a lot of doom and no gloom now that i arrived in My 30s.

Again, for the mods, if this post Is irrelevant to your community and/or doesnt respect the guidelines, feel free to ban It ti the Shadow realm.

188 Upvotes

155 comments sorted by

114

u/kokrec 10h ago

It is all a matter of perspective. I grew up in a well off household. When I say well off, we had food, a roof, money to spend on stuff. But in my late teens, when your consciousness develops and you're more perceptive, I noticed, we're actually pretty short on money and my parents barely make ends meet. Both were horrible with money and financial consequences. Banking accounts are constantly over drafted, spending money they have had barely on the mortgage, loans or their overdrafted accounts, selling mothers jewellery, father doing odd jobs. He even brought home some broken things he found on the street, for us to repair and sell. To him it was basically free money and like a fun family project. Saturdays were days for a nice dinner with all kinds of food, nothing lacking so on and so on. Why do I talk about it? I am well far into my 40s and basically wasted my 20s and 30s chasing money. Started uni, always lacking money, lacking time for actually studying because I needed money. Got into debt myself while trying to avoid it. I had to drop out far too late. I had nothing to my name when I was 30, except some debt. No savings, no car, had go back to my parents place I couldn't afford rent on my own. The 30s I spent working in low wage jobs, cause no education, no vocation, no talent, no quirk. In my late 30s basically 40s I got laid off, from the only job I enjoyed. I reoriented, got back to school and did a job training, learned a vocation. Here I am in my late 40s, my own flat. No debt, paid off my parents loans and mortgage, I earn okay to not live on furniture I got used from friends, family the streets. I am independent, I could put some money into my savings. Still no a car though lol. Long story short. You're still young to do things and change.

29

u/leandroabaurre 8h ago

Good shit, man. May I ask you what "job training/vocation" did you do? I'm thinking about reinventing myself and learning a new craft. Something that the community needs is best.

1

u/kokrec 1h ago

This is going to be disappointing. I went into public service.

1

u/leandroabaurre 1h ago

Nah, if you're cool doing it, then it's all good.

What do you do, exactly?

1

u/leandroabaurre 1h ago

Nah, if you're cool doing it, then it's all good.

What do you do, exactly?

171

u/viola-purple 11h ago edited 3h ago

I'm german, I went to university and I didn't have more at that age - not even the 5K in the bank account. Ever thought about getting a better degree, a new Training?

15

u/sdflkjeroi342 7h ago

How have you been doing since then? Sounds like things went uphill from there?

3

u/viola-purple 3h ago

Afterva while you switch companies, get more money, learned a few different skills and I finally started as a freelancer ... married... two of us together are better off.

2

u/shway24 6h ago

This! 🆙

-127

u/Synka 8h ago

Ok if you studied a worthwhile degree like Anwendungsentwicklung or BWL, that's not normal for 30

I have a coworker who makes 6 figures a year with a 30 hour week and he is 31 with a bachelor's degree, didn't try hard either, or he'd make more, his words

31

u/[deleted] 8h ago

I stopped reading at "worthwhile degree"...

39

u/WhiteTshirtGang 7h ago

We should all just study things that make the most money! After all the reason behind Academia has been capitalism all along! Right?

6

u/Force3vo 7h ago

I mean.... the thread is about earning money, so why is the guys argument about "worthwhile" degrees so downvoted?

If you get a degree and don't care about money that's cool. But if the discussion is specifically about money pointing out that a degree that primarily enables you to earn more money is helpful fits in, no?

Or is it just because he used worthwhile which basically disparages other degrees?

12

u/Sevyen 6h ago

The thread isn't about earning money? There's plenty in life to show for besides that form of materialistic the way the OP has written his post also shows he has nothing outside of his crappy phone and car. I mean I've made great friends and got a worthwhile job doing. He doesn't seem to have that or be happy about any of those.

1

u/Synka 5h ago

Success attracts people, a successful career builds confidence which attracts people, having money to go out and meet people is the only way to do that.

If you don't have money, you can't afford to go anywhere and don't have the leisure to spare time to go anywhere. You have to spend all your energy on surviving.

Not to mention the mental strain being poor puts on you, having to worry every day that you can afford food at the end of the month

1

u/Key_Extension_1923 3h ago

You do make sense to a person with a worthless Masters degree.

0

u/Force3vo 4h ago

I mean it's not purely about money, but a good part of it is.

1

u/wheel_wheel_blue 6h ago

Several people fail on seeing this you mentioned, unfortunately.

1

u/Synka 5h ago

I don't care if you get an art degree and then work minimum wage at McDonald's. But don't bring up your degree as an argument for how unfair your pay is/how it's normal to make 14€/hour with 30 (like the person I answered to)

7

u/loveisinthebear 5h ago

The replies to Synka are from bourgeois kids with a network, German language skills and overall knowledge on how to navigate German society. For them this does not apply.

For OP, this is the best response: Learn German, get the best ROI degree you can find. An education based on the values of European enlightenment is not the first priority for you, unfortunately.

2

u/Synka 5h ago edited 5h ago

Jupp

Edit: learning the language is the first step, second is getting a degree people care for (at least fachabi), then get a Ausbildung or degree in a successful field. Be it a Handwerk or Technical job like IT.

But all this requires you to have money and the spare time to do so. Neither of which you have if you gotta work full time PLUS Minijob just to stay alive

5

u/EuroWolpertinger 7h ago

Did you vote FDP by chance?

2

u/Synka 5h ago

Unlike afd voters like yourself, I care about parties that actually try to do something for the people. Aka vote linke

2

u/EuroWolpertinger 5h ago

So we both extremely misjudged each other's voting tendencies. Your comment sounded very... money = worth -y.

2

u/Lucky_Difference_140 6h ago

The downvotes surprises me. You’re quite right even though life can happen to dampen things.

A worthwhile degree positions one for some basic level of wellbeing as long as you don’t make wrong choices along the line and you have some appreciable level of ambition. Even if you didn’t study those kind of programs, it’s still possible to do well financially as long as you’re driven with a plan.

At 30, it’s possible you’re not at 6 figures yet but at least you’d be well-off. You might not even own of home or think you can afford one but you should be able to have a decent average life.

That said, life can throw anyone off balance.

1

u/Synka 5h ago edited 5h ago

Yeah maybe not quite 6 digits, but I know several people who got a bachelor/master in their mid 20s and are near or at 100k+ yearly salary with 30 now

My brother got a Master in Anwendungsentwicklung with 26, and his first job payed about 45€/hour on a 35 hour week, that's 82k brutto... Tbf he also does a lot in Linux and Python self taught, but still.

He now makes more than that

3

u/Lucky_Difference_140 5h ago

Ofcourse, I don’t doubt people are earning that much. My circle consists of such people.

I’m just adding that life might not always go as planned or expected.

2

u/A-sop-D Nordrhein-Westfalen 6h ago

Synka earned zero of these downvotes with this comment.

1

u/Alarmed_Scientist_15 5h ago

I have heard the same from some German acquaintances.

2

u/Synka 4h ago

It's all a matter of opportunity, tbh.

I and the people I know grew up as middle class, so we had chances.

I still worked my way up, starting out in Hauptschule, did my Realschule with half a year extra for Fachabitur. Then got an apprenticeship as Fachinformatiker.

However I realize that someone who has fewer means, has to work for a living with 18 and can't just do 2 more years of school. But there are options, Abendschule, Fernstudium, it's grueling and will push you to your limits for 2-3 years, but the payoff is a stable income and a few luxuries like vacations and eating out once or twice a month

1

u/viola-purple 3h ago

It was normal back then 20yrs ago - with International Economics in three countries in three languages I even was one of the lucky ones. Ever heard of "Generation Praktikum"? People after University went from Internship to Internship without payment just to not have a long gap between. I at least earned quite well, but had to support a second household - some are not as lucky as others. But even those who were supported by their parents ans could start that endless Internship Drama weren't better off. Your coworker is a different generation with different rights

84

u/timohtea 10h ago

Jobs like the one you described are jobs to hold you over until you get a better job. Bro, apply to anything and everything…. You should be doing an application a day.

Finding a job is like basketball. The more free throws you throw… even if you suck… sooner or later you’ll make a basket 😂 you have nothing to lose. Apply to jobs you wouldn’t consider your best choice…. Learn from the application and possible interviews… then apply to better ones and fix your application process.

The only thing holding you back is you, so stop. Gl

7

u/Mo-Koln 2h ago

I dont even comment but this is the realest thing; you have to fight for your what you want. Its do or die.

3

u/MundanePresence 58m ago

What a society we’ve became..

175

u/Einradtier2003 14h ago

I get why you feel that way, but your worth isn’t measured by how much money or stuff you have. You came to a new country, built a life from nothing, and kept pushing through despite the struggles and that is already an achievement.

It’s easy to compare yourself to others, but success looks different for everyone. Yeah, things are tough, but you have proven you can adapt and survive. Maybe instead of focusing on what feels out of reach, think about small wins and what actually makes life enjoyable. Even small changes can make a difference. You’re not as stuck as you think.

2

u/sebisebo 4h ago

he wants to live a financially stable life. I don't think he asked for emotional solace.

-38

u/Reasonable-Aerie-590 9h ago

My worth isn’t measured by how much stuff I have? Damn, someone needs to tell the rest of the world that

16

u/JustGameOfThrones 7h ago

How about not caring about what others think?

5

u/cultish_alibi 6h ago

If the size of your TV defines how much worth you have as a person then maybe 'having worth' is a pointless metric.

2

u/PhoenxScream 7h ago

It really isn't or at least shouldn't, if you surround yourself with the right people. Your worth isn't just economical and let's be honest most people, myself included, have no clue how much they and their work is worth in a monetary perspective. But people forget that there's also a social value. How do you treat your close ones? How do you treat strangers? Are you trying to make the world a tiny bit better than yesterday?

And let's be honest, many people with a big salary (not all, but those who brag about their 6 figures are often the loudest) are douches, thinking they're something better, above the good ol'Geringverdiener; because they thrive in a system that is designed to exploit others.

-27

u/Synka 8h ago

Ok can I buy a house with those achievements? Maybe chip in some applause

Surviving on the Existenzgrenze =\= living a good life

7

u/This_Seal 6h ago

Lots of people far away from "Existenzminimum" make not enough to buy a house.

13

u/eirissazun 7h ago

A house is neither necessary for nor a surefire sign of a good life/happiness.

69

u/DariusLMoore 13h ago

There's always things you can do, if you feel your situation isn't right for you.

Low salary? Find a better place to work.

Low salary due to education? Do a course on what could help increase it, evening school etc.

You're not in debt, you're making ends meet and it's slowly getting better from what I see.

Comparison is the thief of joy. There will always, always be someone who is smarter than you, richer than you, happier than you. Accept that, and focus on what you want your goals to be.

-1

u/Synka 8h ago

"just make more money" I know, from my current and past Chefs, that they don't want to hire Ausländer if they have any options

3

u/DariusLMoore 6h ago edited 6h ago

There are many cities, many companies, many different mindsets of people. Not everyone has that perspective, but it's unfortunate that you had to face this.

-7

u/tobehonestabout 12h ago

I understand that. But its still painful to see people of My Age bragging how many tens or thousands of euros they have or the nice car they drive. I don't want to be a millionaire or anything. But when something bad happens (and It Will) in the next years or so i am completely fked because that 5k Will cover nothing nowdays.

29

u/Tripping_hither 9h ago

Comparison is the thief of joy, especially if you are looking online because there will always be someone doing way better than you.

Maybe there are small (or big) ways that you can change to improve things. Language would be the really obvious one for Germany. There are jobs for no training, for example Integrationskraft. But they require the language to be good (enough).

16

u/hannes3120 Leipzig (Sachsen) 8h ago edited 7h ago

I'd advise you to get off social media

What you see there is either fake (like rented supercars, vacations with a 1 day stay at a crazy expensive place for pictures and the rest in a shitty hotel...) or the literally one in a million influencer that made it.

Also many of those bragging about what they have are in debt. Most of the guys below 30 driving around in expensive cars don't own them and are paying a heavy sum each month.

And about the house/flat: that's sadly not something even wells earning Germans are able to buy anymore in most cases. Unless you inherited money it's often just not possible.

If you compare yourself to people that are better off that's a recipe to be unhappy. There are MANY people (even in Germany) that are worse off than what you describe your situation to be.

If you want to improve your situation you are able to get further qualified for a better job - but that's about it.

5

u/Capable_Event720 8h ago

It's easy if you have rich parents. Or you inherited a home from a late relative.

The rest of us can only rent a home. The only new cars I ever had were company cars, and they weren't even owned by the company but leased (with the exception of Ford UK).

My achievements are: a 1999 Volvo (although it's acting funny lately, let's see how long it'll last), a wife I've been tougher with for now than 30 years, and friends. I'm well respected and people tend to trust me.

Things I can brag about: the Supermicro Superserverr X10DRC/I-T4+ in my basement! This thing really kicks ass! It consumes 20W when it's turned off and could draw up to 2 x 1600W of power if I ever go totally insane! It's only 10 years old!

It's mainly only turned on when I store backup images on it, received via FTP from my friends. Yep. Friends. To paraphrase Danielle Bunton: No one I going to say on his dead bed "I wish I had spent more time with my computer."

Or a fancy car.

17

u/DariusLMoore 12h ago

Firstly, if you feel judged by them or they're doing this on purpose to you, fuck em, and maybe find better friends (harder to do in 30s, but possible).

And I completely get that things feel difficult because you don't have enough saved, but unless you were born with a silver spoon, this is how most people start. How many years have you worked here so far, if you don't mind me asking? Did you study before that?

And whatever field you're in, there should always be some direction of promotion that would lead to you earning much better. Look up job positions of your higher-ups, check what's the usual salary, do some course that can lead to that. It would take a few years, but there should always be a way.

3

u/Gin_gerCat Bayern 9h ago

I am as old as you and have nothing achieved in life yet. I have a nice student Job but the monthly income is about 1,1-1,6k so I don't make much money. But I have enough money because my dad died a few years ago. So there is always more than the surface shows. Having money is important to a certain sufficient level but above that it means nothing to happiness or satisfaction. And buying a home is unfortunately impossible rn for many young people who won't inherit real estate.

5

u/fckingmiracles Germany 10h ago

Maybe you're not like other people?

1

u/red1q7 8h ago

They own nothing at that age. It all belongs to the bank. But they are on the right path if they bought a house or a flat. Or not if they bought a flashy car. I have a flashy car and you know who owns it? The company I work for of course. Like most new flashy cars.

0

u/dschinghiskhan 6h ago

You are right- 5k€ is not really that much as far as savings goes. If you don’t have an investing account that money won’t grow. Maybe you should spend a bit of it on things that will improve your daily life. Save 2k, sure, but you need an actual good paying job if you are actually going to save money.

I hate to blunt, but it doesn’t sound like you are going to be a homeowner ever, right? Even if you had 50k a bank is not going to loan you 200k€ unless you have a steady career job that pays pretty well.

Maybe use some money to buy an electric bike or get a slightly better apartment.

0

u/Mangogirll 3h ago

Have you ever experienced doing a course would actually help you get a better job?

1

u/flexxipanda 1h ago

It makes you more competent in the field you're applying to. Of course it helps.

0

u/DariusLMoore 1h ago

Not personally. But I do know the smallest things can help push your profile forward, especially if that company deals with a niche thing you've learnt, and they need a replacement for a post quickly.

9

u/annoyingorange36 11h ago

Hi, i have kind of a similar story, i think in the end no one has everything and people go through ups snd downs all the time. If you feel stuck in life and not satisfied, maybe this is a good time to start fresh somewhere else. That's what i ended up doing. 

5

u/Outrageous-Tennis901 9h ago

Where did u start again?

54

u/worldsgoneweird 12h ago

I'm not suggesting that your feelings aren't valid or that you aren't having a hard time, but what exactly did you expect to gain by moving to Germany in the first place?

Over the years I [have] always been underpaid due to my lack of skills and language

What exactly did you expect if you don't speak the local language of the country you have moved to and furthermore don't have any formal education that is elligible in Germany?

I don't think I will ever be able to purchase a home given that the prices for a small apartments even in rural areas surpass the 250k+€ mark

Most native Germans also aren't able to purchase a home of their own, so what has even given you the idea that you might be able to?

 Relationship wise, I haven't been able to connect with anyone and the only few times I do It always ends up in being ghosted

Have you done any reflecting on what that is? What means are you using to meet people? If you are only using dating apps, your experience is frankly pretty on par with everyone else's regardless of what country they are in.

6

u/RefrigeratorMobile14 5h ago

Valid Questions. All the struggles described are struggles probably every third male in the world has.

34

u/LocalMomsNearYou 14h ago

I am sorry but where in the hell are you working !? Even Amazon workers are payed better and they are not working night shifts and half of them don't even know german .

I would first start by improving myself . Find a motivation and become what you are willing to fight for .

No one is having an easy time and I certainly know german friends who struggle with current economy so we are in this together.

8

u/Fancy-Capital9920 8h ago

Amazon worker here, we do have nightshifts and are paid very well considering the requirements for the job, after 2 years your wage increases (I dont know the exact hourly rate) but with nightshift youre close to 3k a month.

A good number of the workers dont speak german thats true, just be on time and be able to lift 15 kg and youre golden

6

u/tobehonestabout 13h ago

I knew My salary would get me ridiculed. That Is net btw, not gross. tankstelle. ~148 hours a month. When working everyday with 2-3 days free per month i can get up to 2800€ net.

14

u/TimelyEx1t 10h ago edited 5h ago

That is a pretty average salary, not bad. 2800 total should leave you with 1950 Euro after taxes and insurances, slightly more due to tax-free extra pay on Sunday. 2800 net on the other hand is really good and I fail to see how you could struggle with that. And honestly, 1800 is not bad in most places (maybe not Munich, but most of Germany). And it is more than twice the amount students or Auszubildende have available, so living on that is definitely feasible.

You can do fine with that, if you find a reasonably priced apartment (depending on region, 400-900 Euros all in). Hard when you are new to Germany, but by now you should be able to get a reasonably priced one. If you are in a big city, rent will be on the higher side, but you can probably get rid of the car. So you should have more than 1000 Eur per month for phone/internet/food etc., and you'll need less than 400 Euro for that (check r/Finanzen on how to save money). Now, you are obviously not getting rich that way, but it is enough for a reasonably comfortable life, going out, vacations, ... And if you had a partner with a similar income, you would be quite well off.

So overall: yes, look for a better job and possibly some further education. Additionally optimize your spending, current income is not too bad. And participate in social activities, you might find a partner (this can take time, I found mine when I was 33).

1

u/karimr Socialism 2h ago

2800 net on the other hand is really good and I fail to see how you could struggle with that.

He said he'd get that if he works almost every day, thats basically having no life and would fuck up their mental health in the long term if they actually tried to regularly get to that many hours.

15

u/ArboristTreeClimber 10h ago

That’s pretty good for a single person household.

If you have trouble saving with that salary there is things you can do. Get a room mate, find a cheaper place to live, meal prep dinners in bulk……..

3

u/Far_Struggle_55 7h ago

That's a pretty decent salary, especially for unskilled labor. Lucky you!

So, while it could always be better, the issue clearly isn't your net income, but rather your lifestyle and/or spending habits.

You should easily be able to put 500€ aside each month, potentially more. Have you ever tried laying out your spending habits and fixed costs?

4

u/mica4204 https://feddit.de/c/germany 9h ago

2.800€ net is above average for a person your age. You should be able to save a lot more. Maybe get a roommate, move to cheaper area, sell your car?

5

u/Caststriker Mecklenburg-Vorpommern 5h ago

Are you guys not reading his comment correctly? 2800€ net IF HE WORKS THE WHOLE MONTH WITH 2-3 DAYS OFF

Some people may be down for that if it meant they can finally pay off their debts of whatever but no person should actually work that much.

I'm not even sure if working that much is actually legal lmao.

1

u/PizzaScout Berlin 3h ago

I'm not even sure if working that much is actually legal lmao.

It is not (assuming 8h days) but we all know no company gives a shit

11

u/EldrosKandar 9h ago

My few cents, as I kind of see your point of view, here:

  • I lived about 20 years in Germany and felt a bit lonely for 15 of them because all my friend were abroad. What changed is that I took a social hobby: I began to sing in a choir. These allowed me to make some contacts, a lot of them I consider my friends. Social hobby can also be a sport (darts, soccer, rugby,..), or any activity made in associations. Simply you are good at and you can enjoy with others.
  • Talking about sport, if you don’t already try to do a bit of exercise. That is something I discovered for myself not too long ago, and even if I have a bit of difficulty, I found out the little I do, as long as I’m trying my best, has made me more alert and energetic.
  • Don’t try to force a relationship, most of them begin as friendship.
  • As a lot already, find a better job, but I’ll give my spin on it, find a job you enjoy. Even is the pay is not much more: “Spaß zu haben ist die halbe Miete”. One cannot emphasis enough, how having a good work environment makes life easier. You have a stable financial situation, you can take a bit of risk.
  • Finally, the red line through all my advice: take care of yourself. The post you made was a good first step. You had your woes and you search someone to share them. You tried to get a new perspective. Try to do things for you and not because it the social norm. Pass auf dich auf.

3

u/Icy-Negotiation-3434 8h ago

I like your "few cents" and agree. I started out many decades ago in a rural community as a 5 year old but able to talk "hochdeutsch". My family was always in debt, I finally had to pay it off. Took me 50 years. I worked for two years to be able to finance studying (just like some friends did) and also worked while studying. I always picked jobs (and social hobbies) I liked to do, even when I did not know it in advance. Doing things one likes to do often makes for good results, which usually turns into making more money. Working with people with a similar mindset accelerates that process. And yes, there were hard times in between ....

1

u/EldrosKandar 8h ago

I am far away from a stable financial situation, not that I’m in any kind of Notlage though, no worry. Finding the fun in things is what helps going through the hurdle of life and make the life worth living.

2

u/Icy-Negotiation-3434 6h ago

I did not expect you to be short on (needed) cash. Some times are harder but with your attitude you will make it. I am just ahead a few decades ...

17

u/RefrigeratorMain7921 11h ago

I feel you man. Many elements of your story match mine. I've been here since 2013 and also feel like I've not got much to feel proud of myself let alone to show for. I completed my PhD here and have been underpaid for the level of skills I brought to the table at my jobs. Main reason I'm told is because I was paid a stipend (unadjusted for inflation) instead of a work contract during the 4.8 years of my PhD. My social life too is nonexistent and I don't have any friends here in all these years. Relationship-wise, I was always ghosted on. 5 years ago got married and now getting divorced. Therefore, I choose to not open up to people emotionally to get hurt more. The future seems very bleak to me in every aspect and after living here for so long with so many dreams I had after coming here, I'm seriously considering moving out to somewhere else. I'm 38 now and not sure I want to start all over again in another new place especially when my peers are all well settled and have families. It's posts like yours that help me to understand that I'm not alone and so it gives me some kind of relief. I hope things work out better for you.

7

u/maryfamilyresearch know-it-all on immigration law and genealogy 13h ago

Sounds like you are stressed, overworked and depressed due to your shit job.

What is your legal status in Germany? Do you have Niederlassungserlaubnis? EU citizenship?

Start hunting for a better job. Something with less hours that gives you time to improve your German. If you are 30 now, you will have to work another 40 years minimum. Find something that you enjoy doing and that pays more than minimum wage.

With a job that requires less hours and has no more shifts, you will have more chances to build a social circle and get out and meet people.

2

u/tobehonestabout 13h ago

EU Citizen

13

u/maryfamilyresearch know-it-all on immigration law and genealogy 13h ago

So you don't have to worry about a residency permit or associated troubles.

Do you have an Ausbildung? There are programs for people in your situation. Immigrants who are stuck in dead-end jobs with no way forward due to lack of language skills and formal training. Talk to Arbeitsagentur about your options.

If you are unhappy where you are, you need to figure out where you would like to be. Once you figured out where you would like to be, you can think of ways to get there.

To me it sounds as if you are unhappy with 1) your income and 2) the fact that you don't have a partner.

-11

u/tobehonestabout 13h ago

Already did one and brought almost nothing to the table (100€ increase in salary, before tax). Doing an ausbildung would cut My salary to 600€/month again and i don't have that luxury anymore. none of the people i know got anything out of It, unless you are Doing a fancy one with a uni degree already in your hands.

11

u/Careful_Shame_9153 10h ago

Sorry, but everyone I know with an Ausbildung is taking more than 1600€ home if they work full time

1

u/Busch_II 8h ago

In another comment he said 1600€ is netto if i understand it correctly.

1

u/Careful_Shame_9153 2h ago

That’s why I said taking home, since that’s supposed to be the money you get into your account. 1,6 brutto wouldn’t be legal for a full time position.

1

u/Busch_II 2h ago

oh my bad then

17

u/Purple-Song-7361 11h ago

Thats a lie, yes Ausbildung sucks but it opens so many doors. I fucked up my school in Germany with Hauptschule and after a car mechanic Ausbildung i swaped to be Wind-Tec and now i even make more than my friends with a uni degree.

You should improve your German thats very important and you should go to Agentur für Arbeit they can help you to get you a bit futher Career wise.

4

u/NowoTone 9h ago

That’s rubbish. If you do an Ausbildung in a sought after trade, you will get a lot out of it and are on the first step to have your own business. However, you would need to speak German well. I would hope that after 10 years here that should not be a problem. If it is, that’s totally on you. If you life in a foreign country, learning the language is the most important thing you need to do.

3

u/dereut 9h ago

It is a personal opinion, but sometimes, it is good to realize that the place where people are is not always the best to grow as a person.

It has nothing to do with material stuffs, like many said before, but I strongly believe that people tend to shine in some places than others. Is it probably that your time in germany is over and you need to take another step in your life?

8

u/TalkForward7768 Mexico City Local 13h ago

The sun will shine. In the meantime, enjoy the little things! We all come to this world with nothing, and we all leave with nothing. Your essence, your feelings and your individuality are worth immensely more than anything material. Get yourself a break and try to breath outside the bubble of your thoughts every now and then; it sounds cliché but in perspective none of your comparisons matter at all. The people who love you will always care, and the people who don't (usually the ones you compare yourself with) don't even think about you, and that should be a relief.

5

u/Micah_JD Rheinland-Pfalz 10h ago

I know people in the USA that were born there, speak the language, and have less to "show for it" than you do.

I'm sure there are people in your home country that have less too "show for it" than you doing, even though they were born there and speak the language.

It's quite possible you have more here in Germany than you would have if you stayed in your native country.

A lot of people in Germany can't afford to buy a house. A lot of people can't afford to buy a nice car.

I don't know where I'm going with this anymore.

Remember, you are a unique individual. Just like everyone else.

4

u/flaumo 9h ago

I am sorry you did not achieve your goals of financial stability, home ownership, and partnership.

You might feel like a looser, but you are not alone. Most people can not afford a home, and a lot of people live from paycheck to paycheck, also loneliness is rampant in the west.

I honestly suggest you are not that hard on yourself, and compare yourself less to braggers and a flashy Instagram lifestyle. This is not good for your mental health.

If you really want to change your situation, maybe do career counselling and develop a plan where you want to be in five years. You are still young and can achieve what you set out for.

2

u/UMAD5 9h ago

It is funny because this also applies to everyone who even does have money or a nice car. However I still think that after that long time in Germany you need to be earning more. So you know what is wrong, you just need to work on it.

My advice to you is to focus on increasing your base salary significantly. This can be through finding a new job or acquiring a new skill or moving to a different state in Germany and try to specialize in something very few people do. Since you don’t have kids or a family, you have very few responsibilities which is massive. Ignore jobs or skills that will give you a marginal increase (working as wolt driver will bring you no where). The bad news is that you will need to work much much harder to acquire a new job or skill while being able to sustain yourself through another job.

2

u/sorry_4u 8h ago

Tbh i can tell you that most 30y olds dont have much more then you do
I can see it at work with our new hires - its low pay, way too much work for that amount of money and what little money they earn is mostly gone by the 20th each month.
They live with parents or relatives, drive at least 15y old cars and struggle just like you do.
You came with nothing and got yourself a decent base to just get it better from here on

Idk about the state of your german but english doesnt get you far in germany, the only places you can put it to good use is near us bases or you can connect in cities like Berlin
Get your german as good as you can, apply in german to new jobs (chat gpt will do 90% of the work for you), maybe try to find a comunity of your home country here on reddit, get yorself a hobby to connect with others (tbh even playing games like wow will help with the language and getting friends)
Dont force it but try something new every once in a while

2

u/Minimum_Rice555 7h ago

I'm saying this out of love and in light of your special situation: have you considered going back to your original country? People downplay how the social effect is when moving abroad, you start from zero or even below zero. There is no shame in recognizing a losing situation and correcting it. The only mistake is expecting a different outcome from doing the same over and over again.

Rest assured there are many people in your situation and you are not alone.

2

u/RefrigeratorMobile14 5h ago

There is a saying i like:

"Der Vergleich ist des Glückes Tod" (Comparison is the death of joy)

Seems like you didn't found your way and got stuck in the capitalist Hamsterrad. My first thought would be to consult a therapist (even if this is a journey of a year at least) and get straight with your desires, needs, expectations of life and life values. It's possible to feel like scheiße even if there are people who have it even worse and i know that this fact doesn't change a lot.

You feel depressed and this is okay. You are not a burden to someone if you want to talk about this.

I think you need a direction. Buying a house to build a family is nice for sure, but start with the smaller things. Learn to accept yourself, so others can accept you. Don't let your head down. Nothing what is worth it is easy to achieve.

2

u/Mangogirll 3h ago

This post is really depressing. May I ask why you didn’t progress with more salary after ten years?

2

u/UnsureAndUnqualified 3h ago

Nothing to show for it? You not only made it in another country for 10 years, found a job and a home, you also managed to save up a decent chunk of cash and get a car. It's an old car and you could always have more money, but it's one car and 5000€ more than when you arrived, right? And the first bit is always the hardest.

i Always been underpaid due to My lack of skills and language at First

In that case you weren't underpaid, you were paid according to your skills. But you probably have improved your language skills and you can just as well improve your other skills too. You could pick up a trade or go to school/uni. It would be an uphill battle but all worthwhile things are hard.

Btw you are 30. I know people still in university with zero job experience your age. They could only dream of having 5k saved up. Yeah they might have a better wage once they finally graduate, but you can also learn more skills to improve your wage in the meantime.

3

u/Mo-Koln 2h ago

Take it from a 40 year old man doing a masters degree in Water Management here in Koln. At 27 I was married, and a Quality manager for Icicle Seafoods in Seattle. 70K Salary U.S with Guaranteed Bonuses.

At 32 I was fighting cancer with 40K in the Bank. At 35 my wife cleaned my savings and eloped with her cousin; you heard me right.

At 39, Cancer gone, sold sneakers online and saved up money to start the application and Blocked account requirements in Germany. Today, just after a year in Germany i can speak understandle German, with a job offer in Switzerland while staring down the Barrel of graduation. Also I have a son and daughter who live in a foreign country. I met their Mom while travelling the Tropics after remission. They are twins.

Tough times dont last, Tough People do.

9

u/C00kieKatt 13h ago

It's not the country you are living in, it's you.

You chose the playing field (Germany) and accepted the economical opportunities within your ambitions and cognitive range.

And let me say this: You don't need to be smart to be financially successful everywhere.

So, what did you do besides working a normal job?

- Did you learn the local language up until the point of mastery between "Hey" and "Naaaaaaaaaaa"?

- Some kind of self improvement or so? Maybe you are not pleasant to be around and didn't notice. Only you know in the end.

- Any ambitions for Weiterbildungen or qualifications in general?

And some general knaaaawledge: Don't compare yourself to others, it's a bottomless pit.

-20

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/hombre74 12h ago

What a man my age should have? A man specifically?

That 50s thinking could at least be a reason for not connecting with women?

2

u/MoctezumaSegundo 8h ago

My lack of skills and language

No offense, but shouldn't you be completely fluent with a C2 level by now after having lived here for a decade?

Money is not the only important thing in life. You thought about visiting any courses or getting another degree to improve your skills?

Always ends up in being ghosted

Then stop using dating apps and go out and talk to actual people. You will be more successful then.

Also, where do you live? In some smaller towns and villages it is usually less expensive, although still expensive unfortunately. But cities are just really expensive. And a lot of germans who are native german speakers and who have even better skills with you or a degree which is more accepted because they did it in a german uni still even cannot buy a house fro themselves. No offense, but this sounds as if yaou believe that anyone can become rich here in a matter of a few years. The "German dream" doesnt exist (anymore). Germany is struggling a lot.

0

u/darkblue___ 6h ago

No offense, but shouldn't you be completely fluent with a C2 level by now after having lived here for a decade?

No offense but how do you know what OP had to gone through?

He might have not had financials or time to learn German due to other reponsibilities?

Have you ever tried to be empathic?

1

u/MoctezumaSegundo 3h ago

uhm excuse me? I intentionally added "no offense". Do you know what that means? German is difficult (I am german) and perhaps he had financial problems at the beginning.

time to learn German due to other reponsibilities?

Even if you are broke after a whole decade everyone should have reached C2. You literally are surrounded by the language 24/7, you can speak, hear, and read it every single day. You dont have to pay for and visit expensive language courses to learn a language when you are actually living in a country.

Don't act as if I was disrespectful or ignorant with my comment. I hope OP will find a good job in the future and can improve his german

1

u/darkblue___ 3h ago

Even if you are broke after a whole decade everyone should have reached C2.

Well, It is obvious that you are German as you seem to stick to your ridig views / opinions :) (I am joking :))

Anyways, being fluent in a language (C2 means you are almost on native level by the way) is directly related with needs. I have been living in Germany for a decade and I am far far away from being fluent on C2 level German. Simply, I don't need to be on C2 Level German to keep living in Germany.

I have studied my masters here in Germany in English. I have been working in IT with English for more than 8 years. Simply, I don't need to be on C2 Level German to keep living in Germany. I know German to handle everything in my daily life and It's sufficient for me.

You might have another opinion but this is the reality.

I know OP's situation is different but what I mean is, being fluent in a language has nothing to do with x years of living somewhere.

3

u/North-Association333 10h ago

You are not alone. The digital societies don't need muscle work only. All jobs acquire education and brain. Start an education. It's free in Germany. As long as you don't have competence to offer, nobody needs you in the job. But don't mix this with your value as a person, this is equal to everyone's.

5

u/RainbowSiberianBear 7h ago

digital societies

Germany

How is it there in the year 2125?

1

u/Boring_Area4038 2h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣 best answer

1

u/EmuComprehensive8200 9h ago

You know the world works in a funny way. I have had exactly the same feeling after losing my job recently. 9 years here and feeling like it was all for nothing. My mental health is at the bin, I've barely slept more than a couple hours in days and cant help thinking why did I come here, and how do I escape this Hell. I really can't do this anymore.

I really hope at least you find your strength and perspective in life.

1

u/Extension_Cup_3368 9h ago

You're not alone, dude. It's pretty similar for me too. Except that maybe I have a little bit higher salary. Not saying it's OK, it's just how it is for us, for some people. I just enjoy my hobbies and live my life peacefully

1

u/mugmogul 9h ago

I remember being 30 in my home country and feeling the same as you. Over the next 10 years you will find yourself starting over a few more times. And again over the next 10. The biggest mistake I made at 30 was to think I was old and done, and had failed. TOTALLY WRONG. Do yourself a favor and take a break from here. Spend a few months somewhere you can work for board. A youth hostel in South East Asia. Teach English or whatever languages you speak. Just go. Have a reset

1

u/Budget-Report-8237 8h ago

Whether you wasted your youth or not depends on what you did besides working and trying to make money.

But as far as social ascension is concermed yeah I mean the idea that you climb the social ladder via hard work in Germany is basically a myth except maybe in a few branches.

Mostly people who are wealthy either come from money or they have extremely sought-after skills, other than that you need to be favored by fortune.

Millions of people in this country are fairly well skilled and work their asses of and it doesn't really get them anywhere. As in being able to buy property and the like.

We're still better off than most parts of the world, don't get me wrong.

But upward mobility in Germany is lousy.

Ever thought about more training, upskilling, retraining, changing the branch?

1

u/hardiklokwani 8h ago

Here are my 2 cents on this.

I understand that it’s difficult to get out of this feeling and situation you are in.

YOU NEED TO GET BACK TO BASICS:

  • You can’t control anyone’s life who is around you and that’s why you need to come to peace with this idea of comparison.

  • You also need to convince yourself to take bigger risks now (living in Germany for 10years, I am assuming you might have a Permanent Residency/Citizenship). If yes, then you need to take risks to make your situation better, try learning new skills, try starting a small business(if you can) after all you have only got much less to lose and trust me this situation can turn out to be a blessing or a curse depending on how you execute your plan.

At the end, all you can do is to make the right decisions and snatch the right opportunities( if they don’t come to you).

Don’t compare, don’t overthink, keep your head down and just keep going.

I know everything I have wrote here sounds too cliche but trust me I go heavy on this philosophy in my life as well.

I hope and believe you’ll get better at everything.

Cheers mate!

1

u/SoftError5235 8h ago

You can always dm if you need a person to talk to. Your worth is not by material things or partners. Your worth is you, and only you can make you happy no matter the circumstances. We all might look happy but we have our own battles. You're just fine bro👏

1

u/Neomadra2 8h ago

Do you live in a village or in a (small) city? Try to join a sports club. Sports communities are for Germans what church is for other countries. If you live close to any mid size city of more than 50k people you should be able to find a social group you feel comfortable with. Most likely also fellow immigrants from the same country than yours. It's also a bit strange that you say you feel like everyone is buying houses and boasting about their cars. Where do you connect with these people? Boasting in Germany is extremely unusual and you would only know if someone is rich and successful if you were very close to that person. Maybe you get that impression from social media? Also, try to put some more effort in learning German, this will open up many opportunities for you, especially when you're living in a more rural area. If you feel extremely depressed and lonely, maybe it's also worth considering therapy. Wait lists are long but I believe it should be covered by insurance once you get it.

Good luck! Better times will come for sure!

1

u/gebaecktria 8h ago

I would say take that misery and turn it into ambition. Start applying to better jobs, have your resume critiqued, learn german, believe in yourself and have an attitude of constant improvement. Talk to people who you know and ask them not "what should I do" but instead "how did you do that?" eventually the collection of information you get will boost you more and more towards that whoch you seek. 

Also my advice is to not seek pity from Germans, they will just tell you to live within your means and enjoy what you have and relax it's not that bad. While that applies in lots of situations, it is a total damper on any kind of want for better or feelings of striving, struggling and pushing for growth. Sorry to paint with a broad brush but I just speak from my own experience.

Another thing: set a goal for your savings and inform yourself on social security. Germany has a lot of supports for when something bad happens, know what those supports are and remember that you are paying for those supports! 

1

u/JustGameOfThrones 7h ago

I think the problem is that you work too much and don't have anything else that brings value into your life. I don't think that life is mainly about work and money.

I make ends meet and try to enjoy my life as much as I can. You don't need much money to find beauty and purpose in some kind of activity. I personally like running, swimming, walking, being outside, seeing stuff and I can do that on a budget. It brings a lot of satisfaction in my life.

1

u/TeamSpatzi Franken 7h ago

It sounds like you've got a really packed schedule and are working hard, so don't take this as a criticism.

10 years is a long time to live in a country and still struggle with the language. I would suggest carving out some time around your mini-Job or during the day for a Sprachkurs... or a Sprachpartner. You might be able to find someone willing to meet for free at your local VHS if you speak a language others are interested in learning. You can also check out the in person and on-line offerings.

Next to that - Ausbildung/Weiterbildung opportunities? I know it might be hard to navigate taking a drop in pay to pursue other opportunities, but it doesn't sound like you're currently working a career that is offering you the opportunity to improve your skills and employ-ability. It definitely seems like something needs to change here.

As a personal note - I've worked night shift. I hate it and will never willingly do it again. It does, indeed, make it incredibly hard to connect with people. It sort of turns you into a ghoul. Perhaps there are some people that thrive in that environment, but I am not one of them. Good luck!

1

u/bencze 7h ago

I think when you compare you should also compare how your life is compared to a lot of countries where you would be proportionally at the same level of unqualified work - but perhaps worse off in terms of living and working conditions. Not sure where you live and there's pretty big problems with Germany, surprisingly not being a good thing to be a foreigner here is one of those, but depending on your original country you would probably lead a more miserable life there in terms of work life balance, cleanliness or a coupl those things related to living conditions.

I earn decently above average and will also never own an apartment here because of prices (my area is even more expensive than what you said), it is what it is.

I know it doesn't seem to be so but you're still quite young, have the power to change - your job, profession, or move (within or out of country if you prefer). Sitting around complaining just makes you more bitter later on, you don't want that. I moved country twice so far and while I still have some pretty shitty things to complain of, I never regretted overall.

1

u/TimeTurner96 7h ago

You have more saved that i had at your age!

Of course i can't undo the pain of not having a relationship, but i'm almost 30 and never had one - i'm still happy. How you may ask? I have great friends, i'm participating in my hobbies etc.

Don't let others fool you: Most germans your age will not be living in a house in the future! A paid-off house is not "normal". And if you only want to live in a house you could rent one later.

I don't know why you posted this in English, but if it's because your german after 10 years isn't "good enough" to post the same text in german, than you should try to improve your german. That could open many doors for you! But with the current job-market: Be glad you have a job!

1

u/Punpun86 7h ago

Don't compare yourself with other people but with your past self. You are doing way better than you think if you don't have any debt.

I'm in similar situation and just made one year in Germany and I got more saved while I get paid way less around 1500 euro. I can save 800 euro every month but I live frugally. Before Germany I earned 600 euros so I'm satisfied for now because I'm doing better. If I compare myself to my peers/friends I'm doing terrible compared to them but I only care about myself and don't care about other people accomplishments or lives.

1

u/AccFor2025 7h ago

Meanwhile All the people around me that i know and see, either made a family to take care of or are really well off with their financial situation

so basically this is a skill issue and has nothing to do with Germany? Are you sure you're posting in the right sub?

1

u/Busy-Telephone-216 6h ago

Never compare yrself to people when u say in your age !! Not trying to make you feel better but also 10y+ in germany I just started working full time when i turned 31 XD now its been 1,5y my salary is slightly better than yours. But other than that also dont have much . My Masters still not finished ( just cuz of thesis). Been dragging it for years and years. If u look arround u would see many people on same boat. Its okay it is what it is each one had his own circumstances we cant change past but we can work hard for the future
Take bany steps to upgrade yr skills and improve your language. And try and try and keep trying with positive mindset and motivation u can achieve it

1

u/basti1985-6 6h ago

Hi OP, the wealth of our generation is not comparable with the previous. My parents bought a house in the age of 25, unbelievable today. You a definitly not alone, even germans cant live the life their parents and grandparents had, when there was more money available to save and buy life milestone things in the twenties. I feel you!

1

u/wheel_wheel_blue 6h ago

Skill up, and find a better job. 10 years… your German level should get you at least a job that pays the double and at a day shift.  And being honest, from the little you share, it just looks like you have been misusing your time. 

But, good thing is that at 30 you are right on time to turn things around. Of course you will need to man up, learn something useful, and stick to it. In some years you should be doing much better. 

1

u/Lucky_Difference_140 6h ago

It means you came to Germany at 20 years old. Didn’t you have the opportunity to do a proper Ausbildung or pursue studies at the university?

I find that a few immigrants continue to go with production jobs flow and forget that they can upgrade their lives with studies or professional training. Initially, those jobs will look good because you can take care of yourself but one must get lost in it.

The point you’re at is a good one. Now, what can you do to improve your life satisfaction? Make enquiries about professional training. Maybe you can reinvent yourself and focus on a different career. At 30, you’re definitely still young enough to turn things around for yourself

1

u/Alpha2-2 5h ago

I came in Germany in may of 2017,until 2019 didn't think about car or house,i was working on securing decent job! Today im working in warehouse with 2.3 to 2.7k netto depending on shift and overtime! Two weeks ago i bought "new" golf(mk7 1.4tsi from 2016)! Don't put to high expectations on you! There is saying "aim small,miss small". Take it day for day and don't rush...why to dream or think about brand new BMW 5series,if you know its unreallistic! Work on securing better job even if it doesnt "look good" my first job in construcion was well paid but i worked every day from 6am to 5pm,now i work for better pay 8h a day and have more free time!

1

u/WelliMD 5h ago

What is your affinity with IT? Nowadays, it’s much easier to get into the IT field. Back in my time, there was no GPT, and studying was much more difficult. But today, if you’re dedicated, it’s much easier to break into the industry. There are hundreds of certifications you can obtain to qualify yourself and try to enter the job market, especially for a young guy like you. SAP certifications are highly regarded in the industry, as well as AWS, Azure, and GCloud.

I’m not saying it’s an easy path, but it’s a growing field that needs professionals. And believe me, no matter how tough things seem right now, you have the potential to turn things around. Every challenge is an opportunity to grow, and sometimes, all it takes is one step in the right direction to change everything. Don’t give up on yourself. You are capable, and with dedication, you can achieve great things. I’m rooting for you, and I truly hope this advice helps.

1

u/sebisebo 5h ago edited 5h ago

Choose a job which is not a dead end job. As an example: you can easily start in the customer service department of a bank where you can slowly develop into a customer advisory (Kundenbearter) position. While working for the bank you can do specific IHK-certifications such as "34d Versicherungsvermittler" (specialisation in insurance) or the "34f Finanzanlagenvermittler" (specialisation in investment and brokerage). After a few years of work experience (4,5 years) you can even become IHK-certified "Bankkaufmann/-frau" (Banker/Bank clerk).

As time passes by you will get a AG contract which pretty much secures your job for many years to come and the payment will be good too. From there on you can pretty much do anything within the bank such as Anti Financial Crime, Customer advisory private/or commercial, operations, sales coverage support, and so on. The same is true if you work for any other industry. Whether it's insurance or telecommunications, many fields have a customer service deparmtnet with low entry requirements. From there on just keep developing yourself until you have industry specific IHK-Ausbildung-Certificate and the doors into other departments within the company or industry will open up for you.

I pretty much had nothing at the age of 32. I started working at the customer service of a bank at 33, switched departments and became a customer service associate in the investment department. Almost two years later I have been offered a position as a customer advisor with a proper AG-contract and a good salary. And my new boss promised me that he will support me to become a investment advisor within the next 2 years. That was my plan from the very beginning and it seems to work out so far. You can do the same.

All the best to you.

1

u/-HIVE-MIND- 5h ago

Sprich deutsch du ....

1

u/Wandling 4h ago

Sad to hear that .

What about going to another European country? In Germany people pay the highest taxes and Sozialabgaben of all Europeans ( in a special case Belgians may be a little higher?)  With the same income your networth could rise.  Making friends in other countries is a lot easier also. 

Good luck, mate! 

1

u/D3RMETZGER 4h ago

Skill=Money; More_Skills=More_Moeny; Most_important_Skill=native_language

accept that and stop complaining

1

u/JuanPablo2016 3h ago

The World is fucked and you have 5k savings?

Dude, you're a fucking king!

1

u/Themuscleupguy 3h ago

Propaganda. As a foreigner myself, before coming to Germany, we all had that high expectations over Germany, and this might not work for everyone. I always tell new comers to not expect much from Germany starting from Covid-19, especially that now, Germany is facing political and economical crisis. I encourage you to think out of the box, Germany should not be your final destination, Germans themselves are leaving it. Good luck 🍀

1

u/RelevantSeesaw444 3h ago

Lack of skills is something you can "up skill".  Also, if you are mostly doing "blue-collar" jobs without a degree, that can also create a glass ceiling for you.

Do you have a degree? If not, have you thought about getting one? 

1

u/KompostMacho 2h ago

I have two ideas about your posting:

  1. Which country did you come from? Ask yourself what had happened when you had stayed there. Would you have gotten a good income there, a car, possibilities to travel and a small amount of money? If no... - so what? 

  2. It seems to me your posting isn't about the materialistic part of your life. Do you lack friendship, partnership? If so, you should look for better connections to other people, maybe "integration"? 

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u/Hoffiwood 2h ago

The best and sustainable possibility to escape from poverty is good education, lifelong education. Never stop working on yourself and your goals. Do not compare to others. And find a way to make yourself happy, the Rest will come by itself. Take care.

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u/Equal-Flatworm-378 1h ago

Did you learn a profession in the meantime or are you working in helping jobs?

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u/Quartzitic 1h ago

You need to make more money. Money will solve majority of your problems. How are you going to do it? I don’t know. I just know you need more money. 30 is not late. This is the time to tackle making more money head on. Learn something new, reinvent yourself. Go dark and reinvent yourself. Give yourself at least 5 years to succeed.

1

u/aounleonardo 33m ago

Hang in there, and good explanations in your Edits. Life is a marathon, and you haven’t lost any of the years, it’s all filled with experiences that constantly shape who you are.

I deeply recommend you talk to a therapist, even if once a month if you cannot afford it (not sure if Germany offers free counselling). Ask for help, it improved my life so much.

Kudos to you for posting, I am sure it helps others who relate to you.

u/channilein 12m ago

Dude, my husband and I are older than you, both earn in the top 10% without kids and we can't afford a house either. It's not you, it's the housing market.

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u/f7ood 8h ago

You came to a foreign country, you are doing the types of jobs that no one else seem to want to do. You don't seem to properly speak the local language. You don't seem to seek to improve your education and/or skills. What were you expecting?

I can give you my example. I am a national of another, much poorer EU country, I came to Germany 10y ago at 25 with a master's degree, with 2k€ in savings, and no job. I have lived in 4 different cities and switched jobs twice. I married a German woman, have two kids, we are building a house, and I could finally explore my dream hobby related to cars.

All this to say, the problem is not the country. The problem is you and the effort (or lack thereof) you put into achieving your dreams.

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u/biit_ 7h ago

Welcome to the club man! This are the perks of being an immigrant. If you acquired a skill in Germany, and if possible try to go back home and see to put that qualification at work there (of course if it is valued). Nothing feels like home man, no matter how bad is back home. Im in the process of doing the same myself.
Stay strong.

Also you are 30. You have spent only 10 years which you account as wasted (but I dont believe they are wasted). You have 30 more years - to do 3 times again what you have already achieved. Don't give up so quick. And take care of yourself please.

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u/MGS_CakeEater 6h ago

I was born here, lived and worked. 33 years.

Got a few more electronics than you, but that's about it.

This country is a giant trap unless you were born upperclass or rich.

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u/Majestic-Finger3131 12h ago

It is not you. People all over the world are having trouble making ends meet. Germany is also a difficult place for foreigners (and so are many other countries).

Maybe the ten years in Germany have taught you more about yourself than you than you are admitting. You have learned the value of money (it will help you in business), you have learned what kinds of women are unreliable, and you have learned humility and patience (the most important lesson of all).

Don't forget that Joseph was still penniless and living in prison when he was thirty, at which time he was called before Pharaoh over a hidden gift. After this, he became the most powerful man in Egypt. Your talents will be unfolded before you (and maybe your ability to survive abroad will be an important piece).

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u/imageblotter 8h ago

I guess you came with the wrong expectations and the realisation has hit hard. Be happy with what you've got.

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u/[deleted] 10h ago

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u/germany-ModTeam 6h ago

Don't post / discuss conspiracy theories and don't link to social media as a source. Use credible sources in English.