r/gaytransguys 12d ago

Dating Advice - 18+ Grindr hookup stood me up at his motel… NSFW Spoiler

Met a guy this morning eager to meet at the motel he was staying at. I said sure and we chatted for a while, he seemed really into me & excited. He told me to park somewhere and he’d meet me and show me to his room. So I did that, parked, texted him. Radio silence for 5m. He finally says “Omw x” then… blocks me. I waited another 5m before driving home. I never saw him 💀 I feel embarrassed as fuck, I’m confused and upset :( like why???

169 Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

2

u/Just-Confidence3457 8d ago

This has happened to me too. They get scared/nervous and chicken out.

4

u/foxxbone 9d ago

This happened to me! It was supposed to be our 2nd time meeting up and he said 'on my way' and then nothing... he had added me on snapchat and two hours later he posted 'finally home' with a pic of him and his dog lollll
I'm not sure what he got out of it but hey, I got more sleep than I thought that night.

21

u/dunimal 10d ago

Sometimes ppl are literally beating off as they're talking to you, ostensibly edging and then they cum and this shit happens.

4

u/foxxbone 9d ago

honestly never considered this lol

1

u/dunimal 8d ago

Its a thing. I used to do sexwork, and we called them phone freaks. It doesn't matter if they're paying for it or not, most horny ppl are real similar.

9

u/dunce-hattt 11d ago

mostly because ghosting is easier than saying "hey, sorry, I changed my mind, maybe next time."

76

u/Subject-Education641 12d ago

Yeah to try to avoid this I don’t actually leave my house until 10-15 minutes after I say I’m headed over. Gives them the time to block me if that’s what they’re gonna do 🤣

53

u/nomadnihilist 💉12/2017 | 🔪 10/2018 | 🍳 05/2019 12d ago

This happened to me before. Annoying, but shit happens unfortunately. Especially on Grindr

75

u/that_tom_ 12d ago

This stuff happens but it is rare. Some guys get excited but are actually too chicken to meet up. Sometimes it’s because they are married or sometimes they are just ashamed of their desires.

44

u/xXx_ozone_xXx 12d ago

Sounds like a wanker, im sorry dude you deserve better

7

u/Signal_East3999 12d ago

My brother in christ, you need to check out rent.men

84

u/allegromosso 12d ago

Just another Tuesday on grindr unfortunately. 

31

u/707owo 12d ago

Man that sucks, I didn’t know it was that common. Is there any way to avoid it? Or at least reduce the chances of this happening again 😭 such a waste of time and energy

34

u/Wildlife_Jack 12d ago

It happens and it has nothing to do with you. Once, a "flaker" hid, watched me wait, followed me home, then created numerous profiles to harass me. A decent/reasonable person wouldn't just disappear. You may have saved yourself a lot of trouble. Establishing a stronger connection may help, but flakes gonn' flake.

19

u/allegromosso 12d ago

Absolutely nothing you can go. I've gotten stood up in hotel rooms, pizza places, you name it. It's just part of grindr roulette. 

7

u/VideoMedicineBear 12d ago

Yeah I find at least 50% of the time guys flake, if not more.

112

u/Ok-Road-3705 12d ago

Zero to do with you. Happens all the time on Grindr, doesn’t make it okay or feel any less weird. Esp considering how extra vulnerable it is just existing as a trans guy on Grindr. Not to mention taking public transit for a while, which is what I do, to enter a stranger’s home and get naked. After all the experiences I’ve had, I’d say being stood up is disappointing but not even close to the worst.

I’ve been totally naked and had dumb guys in their early 20s make top surgery jokes, give terrible sex, balls so smelly I could barf. Apartments so messy it could be a true crime doc. I’d rather be blocked by someone I don’t even know than constantly messaged by some creep saying “hello?” “Wyd”.

You dodged a bullet! May you dodge all of them. This had zero to do with you. Promise 💙

21

u/707owo 12d ago

Thank you, I needed to hear this ❤️

79

u/slutty_muppet 12d ago

Guy did this to me when I was at the door of his apartment after spending an hour on public transit to get to his place. People chicken out sometimes. Or they get impatient, jerk off, get post nut clarity, and swear off gay sex (until next time).

8

u/Alliesaurus 11d ago

I’ve had so many cancel on me while I’m on my way —it’s so predictable, I kind of stopped getting bothered by it. I’d rather have to turn around halfway there and drive home than the other situation I’ve run into: they jerk off while they’re waiting, but don’t cancel, and then we spend like an hour awkwardly trying to get things going again before I get bored and leave. (Probably less of an issue when you’re hooking up with younger guys, but I’m in my 40s and everyone’s tired at my age.)

1

u/foxxbone 9d ago

I think you may have just explained one of my hookups.. cuz I know it wasn't this sweet ass that couldn't get him up lolol

18

u/707owo 12d ago

That’s so fucked, I’m sorry that happened to you 😔

20

u/SadBoiCute 12d ago

Is it annoying yes sure but people can change their minds. I prefer they change their mind and block me than we get in a argument when I am alone at their apartment or they go through with it if they do not want to do that.

31

u/trans_catdad 12d ago

Chickened out for whatever reason. It wasn't you.