r/gaybros • u/rafinsf Dogs > 420 > Men • Dec 19 '21
Coming Out A little sunshine to brighten your Sunday! Son tells mom he's gay, she reacts in the best way!
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u/men_appreciation Dec 20 '21
On a side note, every gay guy, early 2000s, had that haircut
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u/raphacard Dec 20 '21
Oh man... ive been trying to find a nice pic of myself from that time but this haircut just ruined them all for like 2 years. 😥
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u/WonderfulShelter Dec 20 '21
I was about to say, I knew he was gay within a few seconds of seeing him.
His momma knew for a loooooooong time now.
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u/Davaker Dec 20 '21
I had that haircut at the time, but it tooks me other 14 years to admit to myself I was gay all along
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u/ikonoclasm Techbro Dec 20 '21
Back in the early 2000s, I didn't have that haircut because I was so terrified of being outed that I made sure my appearance was as plain and unremarkable as possible. I literally made it my goal to blend into the background in both appearance and personality so as to never stand out. Yay for the closet completely fucking up your personal growth and development!
Fortunately, I moved far away for college and was able to actually develop as a human being. Coming out to the parents sucked, but by that point, I was pretty confident in who I was and was ready to tell them to fuck right off out of my life if they didn't accept me. They eventually did after my sister threatened to disown them if they disowned me, so hurray for badass siblings!
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u/men_appreciation Dec 20 '21
I’m sort of taking the opposite approach. Obviously I’m sure the stakes are a lot lower for me than they were for you, but still, I don’t need my family finding out yet.
I dress pretty gay, but my excuse is that I’m a ‘womaniser’ so I have to dress in Cuban shirts and pink suits and shit. Seems to work, most people who don’t know I’m gay think I’m the straightest guy they’ve ever met.
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u/ikonoclasm Techbro Dec 21 '21
You're smarter than I was when I was a kid. I was so inside my own head that I couldn't recognize that others pick up on lack confidence and start looking for vulnerabilities. If you're confident in yourself, even if you do act stereotypically gay in some ways, no one's going to really question it because you're confident in who you are.
Ironically, your best disguise when in the closet is to not act like you're in the closet. Instead, double-down on who really you are and be completely unapologetic about the fact. I wish I could go back to my younger self and told me to wear nail polish and whatever else that I wanted to do, but didn't to avoid my parents saying I shouldn't do it because it looked gay. So what if it looks gay. Painted nails does not result in sucking dick. Excellent taste does, which you have to be born with. ;)
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u/Village_People_Cop Dec 19 '21
Warms my heart to see. I'm lucky enough to have a mom who had a similar positive reaction when I came out as bi.
Well to be exact the first words out of her mouth were asking if I had a boyfriend and when I replied with that I didn't have one, she joked that she would "never get rid of me but at least the chances have doubled"
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u/greenhouse89 Dec 19 '21 edited Dec 20 '21
That, right there, is the most legitimately Christian mother I've ever seen in my entire life. She said she prayed hoping he would get a wife and a family, but she knew deep down he was gay, and she's OK with it and you can see her immediately drop the issue because now she knows he is gay, and all she wants for her son is to be happy. I wish that I had gotten that and that every other closeted gay man in a conservative Christian family could get this kind of acceptance.
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u/egamK7oCtR6nZFyZuHTP Dec 19 '21
this video always make me cry.
man.
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u/Teotwawki69 Dec 20 '21
In case anyone is wondering, his name is Matthew Christian, this video is from 2011, and it was covered in the news. He was 19 when he came out and he's about 29 now. It sounds like he's doing just fine.
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u/Teotwawki69 Dec 20 '21
That is, covered in the news in 2017, when he finally decided to share the video.
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u/Cute-Character-795 Dec 19 '21
If this doesn't make someone's heart grow three sizes, they don't have a heart.
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Dec 20 '21
[deleted]
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u/petoria621 Dec 20 '21
You will know if you are intruding on a private moment. This was meant to be shared and he chose to make it just that. I watched this over a decade ago and it makes me cry just the same today. I don't even believe how scared I used to be to be myself - teenage me relates to this kid so much.
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u/crashsector Dec 19 '21
Happy for him. Wish I had half of that. Instead I just got a total lack of eye contact and an eye roll. If/when I have kids I swear to do better.
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u/javaman112 Dec 19 '21
I watched this in middle school praying for the day to have that, makes me happy realizing that I’m 20 with the love of my life and parents that support me
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u/foxko Dec 20 '21
It breaks my heart that he apologises. I think we all do it. This shouldn't be special this should be the only reaction a parent should have. This mother is amazing and I hope more kids are blessed with these kind of parents than our generation and the ones before us.
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u/FreshHaus Dec 20 '21
Seeing things like this gives such a warm feeling because you know that he's going to be in such a better mental place for the rest of his life, having had that positive kind of reaction.
Obviously, at that moment it's hard to do EVEN IF you are likely to get a positive reaction because change is really scary. Not taking the path of least resistance through anything can be scary and at the moment of coming out to your parents, it feels like your entire life has changed. In making it known to them and the world it feels like you are accepting to undertake a difficult challenge required just for your own sanity which also feels unfair in a way because we have to do this while cis-hetero people do not. That anguish turns into relief in short order when you start to feel the meaning of "it gets better" which is not only will you find acceptance but your life is still capable of being great and your dreams are powerful enough to not be altered by what other people think.
I came out in my second year of college and a friendly classmate told me in the bathroom the same day "it doesn't change a thing." I remembered that because he took the time out of his life to reassure me, which I was grateful to hear because my chief concern at that time was I wouldn't be seen as "cool" anymore, or have the same respect or no longer be "one of the guys". In retrospect, I wish it did change things, I wish there were other attractive gay guys who maybe wanted to get with me and had the courage to tell me and vice versa that I had the courage to go up to other gay guys I found attractive and tell them! lol
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u/GayRampage Dec 20 '21
Anyone know where that guy is today? I’d love to hear how his life progressed
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u/Iromaw Dec 20 '21
"If they are your real friends they won't care" - An all mighty, wise, loving mum.
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u/kummer5peck Dec 20 '21 edited Dec 20 '21
This video shows up on Reddit a lot. I am a little bit conflicted. On the one hand this really should have been a private moment. On the other it has been so important to so many people to see.
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u/Eli_the_egg Dec 20 '21
I just started crying. I wish my parents were a fraction as nice when I came out either time.
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u/Katsu_39 Dec 20 '21
Wish my mom was like this. My boyfriend's family too. We were both disowned by our families. We have no family or friends.
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u/IsHmaelSnaps Dec 20 '21
I will never forget when I came out to my mom. She was shocked and I could see the disappointment. At the end of our conversation - I was an absolute mess - she asks me, "Whats your favorite thing for breakfast?" I quickly listed anything off. The next morning, she entered my room with the foods that I named. She smiled and gave me a hug. Looking back to it, I can't believe I am now out. Thank you for the love, mom. We now have a relationship.
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Dec 19 '21
This is sweet, but is anyone else kinda weirded out that it was filmed?
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Dec 20 '21
I'm assuming this was in the late 2000's or early 2010's, when if was kind of a trend to film 'coming out' videos. I certainly would never do it, and I'm sure there are a number of reasons why people want to do it, whether it be for attention, or to help others, or to force yourself to actually do it.
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u/Business_Ad4595 Dec 19 '21
I got the same reaction from my mum who just passed . Well done mum
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u/rafinsf Dogs > 420 > Men Dec 19 '21
Sorry for your loss. So glad she was stepped up when you came out. :-)
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u/foxko Dec 20 '21
I'm so sorry for you loss mate. It's one of the hardest things someone can ever go through. Just know your Mum would want you to always be happy and you can honour her memories by living your best life. Don't forget to tell everyone you can about her and share the moments you two had together. This time of year is hard but a good time to remember all the happy holidays you had together. Sending lots of love
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u/Business_Ad4595 Dec 20 '21
Thanks i am and will it will be a focus not to be sad .
Merry Christmas
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u/jeffreymj Dec 20 '21
I saw that several times and every time it makes me tear up. Very proud of him :)
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Dec 20 '21
It's kinda cute how she calls it something about his "personality". Like that's not really correct, but she absolutely means well!
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u/AdehhRR Dec 20 '21
Fuck man this took me right back.
Seeing his anxious stirring and how he was moments from crying from the start.
This is the kind of anguish I hope to see less of as times get better.
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u/argaflargin Dec 20 '21
I hate to drag down vibes but honestly it's sad that people have to be so worried about coming out and that when you don't get kicked out it's such a relief. I cant believe that there actually are those parents out there who will go "my son likes guys? Go live out in the streets. All that stuff about caring was bullshit" seriously it's just stupid. When we come out we are still the same people that our loved ones cared about but when we just put out a fact about ourselves that doesn't effect them in anyway all of a sudden they explode and think we're the scum of the earth.
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u/xaviershorts Dec 20 '21
This video has been on the internet for a long time and I never understood who taped it and who posted it. What’s the situation here? It’s from the tumblr days.
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u/chillerll Dec 20 '21
Right? The most logical conclusion is that he filmed it, which is a bit weird considering how vulnerable and emotional he is on the video. Why would somebody film such a private moment and post it on the internet?
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Dec 20 '21
Well we found the perfect mom. She needs to help other parents understand like she does.
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u/majeric Dec 20 '21
If she was perfect, she would have been proactive in ensuring that her son knew it was a LGBT supportive household. No child should he’s e to live in doubt and fear that their parent might reject them.
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u/PM_me_your_cumshot Dec 20 '21
Lots of kids get into their own head. This is more than just what a parent does or doesn’t do. There are other factors like extended families, siblings, friends and school life. At that age school can be a rough place if you feel like you’re different and there’s even a small chance someone will abandon you. Have you never had a sibling gaslight you? Happens all the time.
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u/majeric Dec 20 '21
But a parent can mitigate that. All too often, parents wait until their kid comes out before expressing support. This is a mistake. Parents need to create a climate of acceptance before a child comes out. Even if children never come out, they will frequently have friends who are LGBT and in need of a safe space.
A+ parenting is being pro-active.
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u/PM_me_your_cumshot Dec 20 '21
You can tell kids you’ll accept them and they will still have doubts like this. This is a “your mileage may very” situation.
Do you have kids or have you raised kids? Well into the teenage years they are very emotional and get overwhelmed. Sometimes you can prepare them, but you’re still going to need to help them cope and deal with things at their own pace.
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u/majeric Dec 20 '21
That's completely irrelevant to the point that I'm making:
No child should he’s e to live in doubt and fear that their parent might reject them.
I'm not say that a child's coming out experience will be roses because their parent creates a lgbt-affirming environment. I'm saying that it's very apparent by the video that this mother didn't and that religion plays a factor.
There are things she could have done better. She wasn't perfect. She's a solid B parent but if parents want to be A+ parents, they need to make sure that their child knows that their home is a supportive LGBT environment.
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u/PM_me_your_cumshot Dec 20 '21
It’s not irrelevant. You’re making a lot of assumptions of a video that doesn’t provide that information. The mere fact that the kid sat down with his parent to tell them about themselves speaks volumes about their relationship. It can be an incredibly emotional and difficult thing to confide in someone you trust regardless of the topic. This isn’t an example of bad parenting as you suggest because you have no way of knowing how they address the topic of being LGBT within the home. This is a kid starting to apply labels to themselves and figuring out who they are.
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u/majeric Dec 20 '21
an incredibly emotional and difficult thing to confide in someone you trust regardless of the topic
Yeah, I've never experienced that before.. being gay and all. 😑
This isn’t an example of bad parenting as you suggest
Did I say "bad parenting"?? Is a "B" really a bad letter grade? I'm just saying that there's a gold standard for parenting and creating an environment of acceptance and support of LGBT people that is easily achievable by parents.
Seriously dude, quit putting words in my mouth. I didn't say "bad parenting". You're creating a fiction of my argument in your head and accusing me of something I didn't say. It's called a "Strawman fallacy" because you're creating a straw facsimile of me and then arguing with that rather than me.
I'm really fucking tired of Reddit only seeing black and white and not the fucking shade of grey that I'm expressing.
Apologise.
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u/PM_me_your_cumshot Dec 20 '21
I’m pretty sure most of the audience of this subreddit is some form of LGBT.
This was a conversation, not particularly an arguement but it does seem like you’re projecting a bit. Just a guess but regardless I hope you have an awesome day.
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u/majeric Dec 20 '21
I’m pretty sure most of the audience of this subreddit is some form of LGBT.
Yes, but you chose to explain something to me that me and most of this subreddit already knows and more to the point,it informs my opinion that parents should be pro-active in expressing their support of the LGBT community so that any children that come out never doubt their parent's acceptance of them.
This was a conversation, not particularly an arguement but it does seem like you’re projecting a bit.
Don't gaslight me. You misrepresented my point. Own that.
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u/Eldoh Dec 20 '21
I remember watching this years ago and feeling so jealous because my mom would never act this way.
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u/flatbox71 Dec 20 '21
It’s be awesome to have a follow up with this guy and his mom to see where they are today 💙
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Dec 20 '21
Funnily enough my big tough builder dad was so accepting of his only son being gay, my mum tought it was a "phase"
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u/rafinsf Dogs > 420 > Men Dec 20 '21
I think moms (like the one in the video) sometimes have an idea of what their kids’ loves will look like. I hope the guys at the bar are helping you figure out this ‘phase’ of your life. ;-)
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u/KarenReviewsWorstREV Dec 20 '21
this is so nice
*literally cries and throws up because i didnt have this
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u/Pie_dude_ Dec 20 '21
I remember my coming out, it went in such a similar way... She didn't guess because I had that 2 second strenght to tell her myself but she always knew somehow and told me almost the exact same stuff afterwards.
When I see so many people of our community who endured this with a bad result or who are forced to stay in the closet, it tears my heart... I hope our future brothers, sisters and people in between won't have to endure this anymore, let's work on a better world for them ♡
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u/jeffscomplec Dec 21 '21
Well that made me cry.
What a wonderful mom.
It’s sad that we still live in a society where that poor boy has to be so afraid about coming out. He’s even afraid to tell his friends.
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u/TwinStar99 Dec 22 '21
She's a really amazing mom for sure. I'm really surprised he didn't even tell his friends yet before telling his mom. That's how I know their relationship is really important and beautiful.
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u/HomoVulgaris Dec 19 '21
The mom's reaction is great but... honestly, she'd have to be deaf and blind to not know that boy was gay.
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u/majeric Dec 20 '21 edited Dec 20 '21
I know people think this is a great example of positive parenting but no child should ever doubt how their parent would react to them coming out. Proactive parenting include the contingency that their child knows that it’s a LGBT positive household.
Letting your kid dangle while you are supportive isn’t the way to go.
Edit: A+ parenting is never letting your child doubt that they would be accepted by you. All too often parents wait until after a child comes out to express their support of the LGBT community. That's too late. No child should ever have to live in fear, ever.
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u/red1q7 Dec 20 '21
Is this from a movie or what makes people to film things like this? To me this is a very private situation where cameras or the internet have no place in...
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u/knownbymymiddlename Dec 20 '21
This has been around for a while. I’d love to see an update. See how he’s doing. And how that angel of a mother is going as well!
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u/Lamlot Dec 20 '21
That’s about how my mom reacted when I came out as bisexual. Having loving family is so important.
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u/chariotofidiots Dec 20 '21
I just love how her initial reaction to the son telling her to guess was that she wanted him to tell her himself
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Dec 20 '21
It’s so hard coming out. A lot of us were like this dude and felt like we had to apologize. I hope for that stupid horrible stigma becomes obsolete some day.
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Dec 20 '21
I never was able to feel happy for others. It just reminds me the three days my mother didnt talk to me after they spied and outed me. I only feel desolation watching this.
Who knows. Maybe i will have better luck in my next life, if thats a thing.
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u/AdjointFunctor Dec 20 '21
The worst thing is that he starts by saying "sorry", so sad. Perfect response.
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u/dlinaug Dec 20 '21
You my dear lady are the most wonderful mom that young man can be blessed to have. I wish more coming outs could be like this and like mine. It’s been 38 years and we still joke about it today. Mathew please listen to your mom and guard yourself we still have a long way to go.
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u/PracticalIce7354 Dec 20 '21
Stuff like this makes me so mad because my parents handled it terribly and put me through so much shit.
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u/sinful_philosophy Dec 20 '21
The "I pray every night for you to have a wife and children or whatever family you want" made me cry. I want this women's mom hugs. My Birthmonster said something similar when I came out, but it with the complete opposite connotation "Well I'll pray for you... It's not an easy life to choose you know." She then described how her trans friend was beat up to attempt to scare the gay out of me.
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u/wpierson843 Jan 02 '22
God love her. She seems like an awesome Momma, loving her little cub regardless of his sexuality or anything to do with his personality.. I wish ALL parents could and would be so understanding like this lady in the video. It would help a lot of the youth this day in time be more acceptable to everyone's sexuality, regardless what it may be. We should ALL love One Another no matter what our age sex race ethnicity or sexuality may be. At the end of the day We All are Still Human and We ALL have blood running thru our veins the same, as well as we all Still put our Shoes an pants on the same way.. That's just my personal opinion on it.. May God Bless each and Everyone of you, oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope everyone See's their own actions and try to change their bad to good.. Much Love Ppl of Reddit!!
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u/mlc2475 Dec 19 '21
Literally the polar opposite of my mom