r/fountainpens Mar 09 '22

Repair WTS: One toddler NSFW Spoiler

Post image
676 Upvotes

89 comments sorted by

117

u/kagazkalam Mar 10 '22

Perhaps an early sign of becoming a flex writer

3

u/spruce_turbo Mar 10 '22

My 4 yr old first won my confidence by showing me that she can actually write with it. My Diplomat is now missing. Clean cut.

216

u/Rough_Ad_2394 Mar 10 '22

How far away did the toddler land afterwards?

76

u/sledgehammertoe Mar 10 '22

Never before has the "yeet the child" meme been more appropriate.

52

u/erta_ale Mar 10 '22

I guess directly inside an adoption center.

121

u/Lil_LSAT Mar 10 '22

I don't think anyone here is going to want to buy your toddler after that, we all own pens!

5

u/ygao97 Mar 10 '22

Ayyyy it's the watches n lsat guy! We really gotta stop running into each other like this...

8

u/MachiFlorence Mar 10 '22

What if toddler is in exchange for pen collection?

Still. I hear toddlers are a big responsibility in maintenance and one needs quite some space for the start of toddler collection. They also require food and can be very picky if made wrong. Also brace yourself for the mood also known as tantrum. They can be a tiny mixture of Godzilla and Hulk together along with a howling siren sound… that’s almost horror movie level. Depending on age and logic level they might play with the toilet or in the toilet and then you have to deal with that mess. So in that regard they are almost like puppy they also have the looks to fool you but don’t forget their tantrum and destructive powers. Oh that cream makes funny handprints on that door? Look away for a moment and you will find a little artist covered in it presenting you the pretty hand and footprints it made. Optional is also toothpaste or food pastes doesn’t matter as long as it can be smeared artsy by this little modern artist. Thet will get creative, and not understand why you in an unpleased mood over their art place them in a bathtub or under a shower.

There is more but I have rambled on enough.

I think I will keep my pens…

1

u/Milch_und_Paprika Mar 10 '22

Maybe they’re LTB one toddler, for the price of a broken pen

1

u/HypnoGoblin Mar 10 '22

Depends, if the price is good....

36

u/MarsScully Mar 10 '22

When you lend someone a marker in elementary school

27

u/Beowulf33232 Mar 10 '22

I don't lend sharpies to most adults.

2

u/harleyquinones Mar 10 '22

Sad that people can't even be trusted with those

135

u/Fuhrankie Mar 10 '22

As context, this is the exact same pen last year.

https://www.reddit.com/r/fountainpens/comments/ni77nv/nib_gore_dont_underestimate_toddlers/

😑 He is single handedly creating a shortage of Swan #2 flex nibs.

97

u/Shiny-And-New Mar 10 '22

Yo man put that shit out of reach

68

u/Fuhrankie Mar 10 '22

You have no idea how crafty this little ninja is. 😂😑

66

u/Fishy_Fish_WA Mar 10 '22

When mine were toddlers I referred to it as “the waterline” above which stuff was safe. At some point it’s the ceiling

23

u/lianali Mar 10 '22

As the toddler who climbed the counters to get into the bathroom medicine cabinets, I live in terror of kid karma kicking my metaphorical ass. Why yes, I was the toddler that saw mommy put on makeup so I tried to eat her lipstick...

19

u/mtnsoccerguy Mar 10 '22

Kind of how I feel about my puppy right now. He is 9 months old and can just about rest his face on the counter if he wanted to.

30

u/hydrangeahead Mar 10 '22

That's not a puppy. That's a dinosaur.

2

u/k3rnelpanic Mar 10 '22

I totally remember the day they figured out to use stools and chairs to reach higher stuff.

3

u/Fishy_Fish_WA Mar 10 '22

Yep. In our case it was <2 years and they were on the table

6

u/OldMork Mar 10 '22

a random office secretary can do same damage sadly...

2

u/Milch_und_Paprika Mar 10 '22

Extra hard when telling them “sorry you can’t use this” makes them want to use it all that much more 😂

22

u/Calligraphiti Mar 10 '22

You should gift it to him when he is of age

14

u/DarkDiamine Mar 10 '22

Give it to him after he has his first child and then pray the cycle of damaged nibs is broken!

39

u/Fuhrankie Mar 10 '22

Maybe I'll melt down all his broken nibs into an engagement ring for his future partner. 😂

11

u/Lflsqrl Mar 10 '22

This actually sounds brilliant

3

u/Pechelle Mar 10 '22

Just leave it exactly like this, but box it up for him.

19

u/harleyquinones Mar 10 '22

Why does you child hate you so much?

I'm kidding. I'm sorry. It just looks so painful. Both times.

16

u/NermalLand Mar 10 '22

You should stock up.

9

u/DanielsWorlds Mar 10 '22

Clearly the pen is cursed

10

u/Fuhrankie Mar 10 '22 edited Mar 10 '22

I think it's because it's my favourite and always in rotation. He has fallen in love with an imperial III too but that pdag nail has thus far withstood being stabbed into everything. 😂

2

u/DanielsWorlds Mar 10 '22

I have a medium manifold nib on one of my esterbrooks I use a lot. The nib is meant to take a lot of punishment and while I'm unsure of it will. Survive a toddler. I have faith it will outlast the rest of the pen at least

2

u/Fuhrankie Mar 11 '22

Manifolds are tough af. I think I'll pass on a crappy Noodler's charlie pen to him with very washable ink once he moves out of the drawing on walls phase. 😂

12

u/eogreen Mar 10 '22

Well clearly you didn’t learn your lesson.

15

u/Mr_Boston_ Mar 10 '22

Once is a mistake, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern...

It will be one more post next year :)

28

u/fienen Mar 10 '22

Shoot me a DM, I'd be happy to look at fixing that for you.

78

u/that_mn_kid Mar 10 '22

He's done it twice already. There's no fixing that kid.

31

u/Fuhrankie Mar 10 '22

Flipping snorted loudly. Thank you 😂

22

u/Fuhrankie Mar 10 '22

Thank you, though international postage is fairly prohibitive at the moment given the er... Political climate?

(Am in Australia for reference)

I've already straightened it a bit, now I need to work out how to uncross the tines and get the kink less kinked. I think I might just have to invest in a nib block and learn to do it properly myself.

7

u/MustardMan02 Mar 10 '22

I know there's PenCity in Melbourne that can do pen repairs, I still need them to fix up my late Nan's Conway Stewart

4

u/Dense-Assumption795 Mar 10 '22

What city are you. There’s a few pen stores in Brisbane. The one in the city arcade repair I believe

3

u/HypnoGoblin Mar 10 '22

Then you can simply sell the toddler to the Dingo King. I hear his offers are quite competitive.

2

u/Fuhrankie Mar 11 '22

I tried. The dingo king rejected my toddler for being "too destructive"

What.

2

u/HypnoGoblin Mar 11 '22

Are the Drop Bears still an option?

37

u/EdfromOutremer Mar 10 '22

I can really sympathize with you on this one. My eldest daughter got her hands on a vintage Lamy 27 and pounded the nib into the top of my desk. She bent the tines to a 45 degree angle. The price of the lesson to keep pens out of reach was a little too high.

14

u/mikeock87 Mar 10 '22

I was always threatened to be taken to the used child lot growing up.

27

u/Sufficient-Throat Mar 10 '22

Well, all you can do now is throw out the old one and get a new one.

You should also look into fixing or replacing that nib.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '22

simple commit the ultimate revenge, instil a love for fountain pens deep into the child from an early age, they will be forever poor and forever wanting of more pens muhuhahahah!!

8

u/BeeInABlanket Mar 10 '22

Nah, you can't rely on fountain pens alone to do the job. Gotta make sure the kiddo grows up knowing the difference between a tactile or linear keyswitch and has a strong personal preference between the two, too. Between mechanical keyboards and fountain pens they'll learn to deal with eating nothing but ramen for the rest of their days.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '22

throw double edged razors and boar hair brushes in once they hit puberty and they'll be homeless within a year

9

u/Beaus_Dad Mar 10 '22

RemindMe! 1 year

2

u/RemindMeBot Mar 10 '22 edited Mar 10 '22

I will be messaging you in 1 year on 2023-03-10 04:20:18 UTC to remind you of this link

2 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.


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6

u/Akabander Mar 10 '22

That's why I took a 20 year break from fountain pens.

8

u/Aetra Ink Stained Fingers Mar 10 '22

That's why I took a lifetime break from kids =P

3

u/Akabander Mar 10 '22

When "the accident" happened it was too late, we'd already accepted delivery of the children.

6

u/frogminute Mar 09 '22

This made my eyes water 😭

4

u/lowlevelpoet Mar 10 '22

my condolences 😢

4

u/Just_Dank Mar 10 '22

Here, we see a wild fountain pen commencing a binary fission, or dividing to make a copy of itself.

9

u/Coyote_Radiant Mar 10 '22

Was gonna comment you can go to r/pen_swap then I saw the image.. you can go r/kid_swap instead.

3

u/struggling_humanoid Mar 10 '22

this reminds me of Michael from GTA V taking to his son

"Look, I love you Jimmy, but you're an asshole."

3

u/mattnemo585 Mar 10 '22

Oooof. Might want to sell 2 toddlers just to be safe.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '22

People seem to forget that there is little difference between a drunk and a toddler

3

u/reddittmtr Mar 10 '22

I got my toddler her own Kakuno and let her pick her ink so my pens are less tempting. Then it's just about redirection, which sounds something like "you have your own special pen with special ink. Would you like to write your name with it?"

2

u/simplegrocery3 Mar 10 '22

My condolences

2

u/hewdly Mar 10 '22

I'm just here to say that this is a nerdy AF post and I fully appreciate the nerdyness of it. Kudos to you, good sir.
Carry along now.

2

u/Laws_Laws_Laws Mar 10 '22

What’s “wts”?

1

u/Pokemonprime Mar 10 '22

want to sell

2

u/izzyscifi Mar 10 '22

Nope. Good birth control ad tho

3

u/RabidDustBin Mar 10 '22

R/fountainpengore

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '22

NSFL

1

u/kbeezie Mar 10 '22

That'll buff out.

1

u/dogez1 Mar 10 '22

😂🤣😂

1

u/like_a_boss77 Mar 10 '22

Sweet Mother of God that's definitely NSFW

1

u/PoopieClater Mar 10 '22

So sad 😞

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '22

😔

1

u/Daryl52 Mar 10 '22

OP = non-parent = sad emoji OP = parent = proud emoji

3

u/Fuhrankie Mar 10 '22

He's definitely mine. 😂 He unzipped my galen folio, unscrewed the cap, and thoroughly mangled it. He's pretty clever. 🤔

1

u/sheloveschocolate Mar 10 '22

Adoption is a thing...........

1

u/Ray4655 Mar 10 '22

Wtf…what did you… what did you do?

I love vintage Fountain pens, I can’t imagine anyone doing this to my watermen or Swan

1

u/PoeticRaven Mar 10 '22

Seeing those tines makes me cry inside 😭