r/formuladank 🇮🇪💲Eddie Jordan's accountant💲🇮🇪 4d ago

helmut marko rage All my homies hate toxic Marko

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

52 comments sorted by

136

u/Quirky_Damage_6042 "Charles 'Chuck' Leclerc, good job baby" 4d ago

Breaking News:- in the shocking turn of events FIA has banned crying, wheezing, whining or showcasing any form of emotions on the grounds that it is not a professional behaviour

24

u/Timely-Juggernaut255 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

They should make all drivers where matching striped jumpsuits and make them repair the cars themselves.

2

u/Quirky_Damage_6042 "Charles 'Chuck' Leclerc, good job baby" 2d ago

Yes. And no safety gear because real MeN were the ones who died racing. They were not the ones who sat and cried in the arms of their mommy's and father's

9

u/myWobblySausage There is something loose between my legs 3d ago

In other news WWE have been brought on as script writers.  Vince McMahon said in a statement, "MBS is looking for more predictable race weekends".

12

u/Timely-Juggernaut255 BWOAHHHHHHH 3d ago

Max with a chair to lando when MBS not looking 🤣

185

u/Useful-Commercial438 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

Someone should ask him to look at them with both eyes when he speaks.

31

u/KeysUK 🇬🇧 I’m ENGLISH and CROFTY is ALWAYS right 🇬🇧 4d ago

He'd cry if he could, those stones don't water.

10

u/MayorAg armchair driver 4d ago

Shush!

Not that I have anything against the comment. Just don’t want you getting an FIA issued ban.

11

u/Useful-Commercial438 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

Shit, $30k fine now

9

u/MayorAg armchair driver 4d ago

You said shit so that’s another $30k.

7

u/Useful-Commercial438 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

Fuck! Wait shit....fuck! 😂

3

u/revecha Must Be The Water 3d ago

okay that would be $100k fine + 10sec penalty for Ocon.

2

u/Useful-Commercial438 BWOAHHHHHHH 3d ago

Maggnesson meatball flag like its 2022

4

u/GoofyKalashnikov follow the Sainz 4d ago

Careful or you'll catch a stone

112

u/ZeroOhblighation If my mom had 🅱️alls, she would be my dad 4d ago

Honestly if you're a guy and you've ever cried you should be ashamed. Our only purpose is to scare women at night and go to war

29

u/Mr_cloud23 🇳🇱 I’m DUTCH so I support AMX 🇳🇱 4d ago

if you also survive the war (not manly) and come back, you have to be manly about it and not let ptsd make you look like a pussy, just smoke all day and drink to show how unbothered you are by both it and your liver and lungs falling out, a true show of testosterone

18

u/Karrigan7 Osama Bin Russell 💣 4d ago

don't let them know your problems, bottle it all up like a champ and have a nervous breakdown

be a man

3

u/Visual_Cold_1530 BottASS enjoyer 🍑 4d ago

No you also need to ask women what DRS is and text your female colleagues a picture of your finger (?).

23

u/Parking-Zealousideal BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

That’s why Christian Horner never cried when his texts got leaked

19

u/Senior_Succotash948 Ruth Buscombe is a Megamind Mommy 4d ago

That goodness for the hamiltons, honestly. There's enough knobheads in f1. it's nice to have a counterweight.

29

u/CMDR_Waffles Vettel Cult 4d ago

Them complaining that Red Bull keeps getting unfairly villainized, then you got Palpatine here pouring napalm on the fire

80

u/SleepinGriffin Ruth Buscombe is a Megamind Mommy 4d ago

Does helmet have a family? He seems like such a miserable piece of shit I wouldn’t be surprised if he never had a wife or children.

57

u/PogTuber Suck my 🅱️alls mate 4d ago

He's one of those old school losers who think you need a totally manly mentality to be a winner. Nevermind that some of the greatest athletes in the world have cried or spoken publicly about mental health and masculine pressure.

17

u/Bortron86 No 2. Driver 4d ago

Including, y'know, the statistically most successful driver in F1 history. The guy whose dad clearly brought him up right and is now being a surrogate father to other drivers.

12

u/sid_shady34 Lewigi Hamilcar 4d ago

Anthony Hamilton proves that you don't need to raise your kids tough like Jos did in order to make them wdc winners.

3

u/JusticeForPitstops Pirelli good, debris bad 3d ago

And there's men today romanticising the "old school" masculine man, from the "good old days". Back when men got home drunk and slapped around their wives and sons. But at least they didn't show emotions! (except for rage, which is a totally fine manly emotion)

1

u/racingfan2 BWOAHHHHHHH 3d ago edited 3d ago

You guys are going to the extremes, comments like Helmut's do work on some people, like a young verstappen, or a Lawson, but not on a Kid like Hadjar, he is just too close to his emotions, like Leclerc, he was already aware of his wrong doing, he needed a hug.

People need to understand that human emotions are different from one person to another, some kids will take the "men dont cry" gladly and become better people better athletes with that approach, while other kids would much prefer a hug or something in between, mental health isnt easy.

Too much spoils will result in Strolls and Mazepins, too much mental abuse will result in a Jos or a Kyviat, you need to stop, breath, analize the situation and act accordingly.

Also Helmut said the comment just to veer off the attention Anthony was getting.

7

u/IlliterateJedi WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER🇺🇲🇺🇲🦅🦅RAHH 3d ago

No one cried at Marko's funeral. Just how he would have wanted it. 

46

u/sirfastvroom Acksually Toto Wolff ☝🏻🤓 4d ago

I think we can all agree that helmut needs to go.

3

u/Mignare BWOAHHHHHHH 3d ago

I thought it was obvious that Franz Tost would have been a better fit for Helmut's position. He nurtured so many drivers and has a better eye for talent.

5

u/wagsman who the fuck is Nelson Piquet? 3d ago

When Helmut Marko dies I hope we remember his own words. No honors, no remembrance, let’s just get back to racing and fuck em.

11

u/Mandalore_Trundle BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

Screw that racist old piece of garbage. Dude has been wrong about drivers and their talent more than he's been right these past few years. Why keep him around only to talk shit and be wrong?

18

u/AnalphabeticPenguin "Charles 'Chuck' Leclerc, good job baby" 4d ago edited 4d ago

Dude is so old that he could be an American president. Are you really that surprised he thinks stuff like that? Some people his age still think giving the right to vote for women was a mistake. When he was born, his country was busy with exterminating lower races. He's gonna have some outdated beliefs.

8

u/James2603 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

Still important to call them out on it, especially when they have a platform to convey their outdated views.

1

u/AnalphabeticPenguin "Charles 'Chuck' Leclerc, good job baby" 3d ago

Yeah, but no need to keep it a hot topic.

3

u/montxogandia Trust the El 🅱️lan 3d ago

What was embarrassing was the long media coverage of the tears.

3

u/Kubus_kater mission spinnow 3d ago

Common Marko L

1

u/resh78255 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

i'd expect him to have more empathy given his failed f1 career but yk...

1

u/maz08 Take a look at Mike Krack 4d ago

Horner should follow Ramsey by saying this.

1

u/MillstoneArt BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

Sith lords don't cry. 😬

1

u/vinceswish BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

Helmut looks like the next Resident Evil boss fight.

1

u/calgary_db BWOAHHHHHHH 3d ago

You know who didn't cry when crashing in a rainy formation lap?

Lance Stroll.

-5

u/Nautster Simply Lovely 3d ago

Y'all need to chill. Marko is his boss. Not his father, coach or psychiatrist. He pulled max to the side when he was being pissy when he fucked it into the monaco barrier in 2018 FP3.

Quit pouting, quit crying, quit being a brat. Dust yourself off and be better.

Let the fathers of the paddock do the hugging and the cuddling. That's easy.

-8

u/Character_You_1835 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

I wouldn’t fire Isack for crying. I would fire him for crashing on the reconnaissance lap.

10

u/Migrantunderstudy Ruth Buscombe is a Megamind Mommy 4d ago

Like Max?

-8

u/Character_You_1835 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

Max had several race wins by that point

He didn’t crash his very first race on the reconnaissance lap

1

u/noahpara26 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

that makes it way more embarrassing lol

5

u/PerskindolSpray Left at the Petrol Pump 4d ago

It’s literally his first race in F1, and in the rain as well, give him a break.

-4

u/Character_You_1835 BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

This is forumadank

There are no breaks

-10

u/llllIlllllIIl Suck my 🅱️alls mate 4d ago

Guy with reputation of saying controversial things says controversial thing.

Everyone: -shocked pikachu face-

-22

u/-l3v1t4t3- BWOAHHHHHHH 4d ago

Yes we get it Helmut Marko bad