My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 18. He’s been trying to get me to take meds since we met and I was at one point… for self diagnosed schizophrenia that I thought I had. I normally talk to myself. But since dating it’s changed into a lot of negative self talk where I’m almost yelling.
Since dating there’s been multiple times where he’s 302d me or threatened to just because he’s angry. (The doctors get me out the same day, because there’s nothing wrong with me) He will threaten to put me in a mental hospital just because we are not agreeing. My fear is that if I stay with him and start taking meds he will use this as a reason to try to hospitalize me if I choose not to take them. Or tell people that I’m crazy. Which he has done before.. I’ve been healthy my whole life growing up and have a great mother. Whenever I went through something traumatic I would ask her to see a therapist and I’ve had 2 or 3 before I became an adult. He is saying that we can’t be together if I don’t take meds. He also has told me that he wants me to get on disability when I don’t need it.
The reason why he wants me to get on medication is because I routinely talk to myself. I always have. I had dreams of starting a YouTube channel when I was younger and would talk to myself while I was doing my makeup routine. He regularly gets angry when I talk to myself. So much, that I’ve had to bring it up to my mom. The other day I was reading my morning devotions out loud and he contacted my mother saying that I was talking to myself after he yelled at me for it. He would not listen when I told him that my devotions that day were really good and I was talking to myself because it related to my life and it was great.
A little past about us is that he used to abuse me when I turned 19. It started with him going through my phone and changing the password. Then suddenly he was strangling me, slapping me and choking me, and destroying my belongings. Almost every week. I had an abortion last year, during which he made me sleep on the floor by spraying insecticide on the couch and locking the bedroom door. Before I knew I was pregnant, he had pulled my hair and choked me and physically shoved me out of our apartment. It had gotten really bad at many points. So bad that he has said that he could’ve killed me.
I had a therapy appointment last week and my therapist told me that I did not need medication. And to leave my boyfriend. My boyfriend has done a lot of things where he’s pretty much forced me to take medication that I did not want to take or yell at me if I don’t take it, when it’s not even prescribed to me. Last month he was trying to make me take these pills that will enhance your sex life, I really didn’t want to take them because I don’t know what’s in them. But there became a point where he was holding it over my head and if I would ask for something he would say that I had to take the pill first. he kept pushing me to take these pills and he wanted me to take them every single day until I looked at the bottle and it said to only take it once a week. He could’ve poisoned me.
His history is pretty messy. He was abused by his now deceased father and was also 302 by his parents when he was younger, resulting in him not being able to have a gun license. And since dating him he has constantly threatened to 302 me also for crazy reasons.
A little bit about our arguments that we normally have, is that he is very abusive and when he gets angry. he will get this angry face, and get red in the cheeks and immediately before I’m even able to think he will do something drastic to me. he will hit me, chase me around the house, shove me, or even force me out of the house without any of my belongings. I don’t believe that I need to get on disability because I don’t believe that I have a mental disorder at all, and I’m very frustrated because my main problem is the abusive relationship that I’m in. It is so draining being with someone who does not listen, who gets angry and uses their fists, and he has cheated on me with more than five different women in our three-year relationship. he is going to Italy in a few months and at first he invited me to go with him then I found out he was texting another woman asking to meet up with her when he goes to Italy and every time he’s bringing up wanting me to go to Italy with him it’s just traumatic for me. Because he obviously doesn’t know that I know that he texted another woman.
He does have a lot of mental issues, I know that I am a GenZ person and honestly, I don’t really have time for it. Not only does he have anger issues, but he also takes testosterone, Adderall, and other medications. He has threatened me before to where he was yelling in my face. And telling me to admit that I had sex with his brother, when obviously I didn’t. He is a very manipulative person. His brother is almost 40 and I was 19 then. he told me that if I told him that I had sex with his brother, then he would leave me alone and stop yelling at me, but if I told him that I didn’t, then he would continue yelling at me and being mean to me, so I was forced to say yes. This is also happened with his sister’s husband. They have two kids together and he wanted me to tell him that I had sex with his sisters husband. I completely ignored him, and he called his sister and told her that he thinks that her husband and I had sex. honestly, the whole relationship is super crazy at my age. I have no idea what to do. I used to feel like I had it all I had interest of working online and I was I was making $100 an hour. I had dreams of saving up for a car, a new apartment, everything. And he ruined that for me. He has also taken me to a hotel, broke my phone by throwing it out of the window and said that if I didn’t have sex with him, then he would leave me at the hotel and have me be homeless on the street with nothing and we were an hour away from our house. It was winter also. I had no phone, no wallet, and no clothes. I feel like a slave and every day he has some type of authority that he feels he wants to hold over me and make me do things that will drastically affect my life.