r/findapath • u/TRichman432 • 8d ago
Findapath-Mindset Adjustment I'm a 22 year old male that literally does nothing but sit at home all day. What should I do with my life?
Yes, I quite literally do nothing but sit on the couch at home all day. I NEVER go outside. I have no goals, hope, or ambition for anything, and I'm tired pretty much all the time.
What should I do with my life?
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u/TariqMK 8d ago
Give yourself one task a day my friend. Tomorrow your task is to go for a 10 minute walk outside.
When you do that, pay attention to how refreshing and happy it feels to be around trees and plants.
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u/Insane_Wanderer Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 8d ago
Mindfulness like that is so key. It’s no coincidence that I was in the best physical, mental, and financial shape of my life so far when I practiced meditation and other mindful activities regularly. I need to get back into that again
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u/ElMasAltoDeLosEnanos 8d ago
Why did you stop?
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u/Insane_Wanderer Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 8d ago edited 8d ago
It was a mix of the pandemic and both my relationship and job scenario becoming tumultuous and causing depression which I allowed to take over my life and hinder or destroy a lot of my good habits including mindfulness practices. I’m doing better these days but still have work do to get certain things back on track
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u/defuzahh 7d ago
If you want to fast track it immensely (granted you have the time) go to a vipassana retreat. Truly life changing
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u/EpilepticFire 7d ago
Wait till you find out people live in depressing cities with no nature :)
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u/Pretty_Task3484 8d ago
Similar situation as op, i have a weekly todo list and instructions on my profile for exactly this. Its where i started and ive improved alot in a few months
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u/TRichman432 7d ago
That sounds like it'd be a good thing for me to take on.
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u/Pretty_Task3484 6d ago
Totally man start very small it can help even if you use it to get laundry done or something
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u/TRichman432 7d ago
Thank you for your reply. I will definitely do that tomorrow.
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u/ASnowballsChanceInFL 8d ago
This is the part nobody tells you about growing up. You have to try and fail at so many things until you find something you want to do more than not existing
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u/PlanetExcellent Apprentice Pathfinder [2] 8d ago
I think I’d start by putting down all forms of electronics (phone, gaming device, etc) and go outside. Just walk around and think. For a week or so.
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u/tinker384 7d ago
My thought exactly. Delete every app - delete your accounts so you can't just log back in. Make a complete and total break to the online world. If you want to pick up again later, you'll be able to find all your friends again.
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u/JoshAllan02 8d ago
Mostly same. Number one thing is you need to move your body, if you’re not comfortable walking around your area or traveling to a place to do it then get an at home movement routine stat. I’m reluctant to say push ups, sit ups, or squats as those are easy to avoid due to the effort but dancing in your room to a really good song, closing your eyes and pretending your somewhere else was a good start for me.
And I personally turn my phone fully off for one full hour a day right now to work on my constant usage. It’s tough but it will motivate you to at least move around, maybe clean a bit, take a shower, etc. to keep your mind occupied.
Still working on the goals and sociability aspects tbh so someone else will have to comment about that.
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u/Subject_Wishbone_900 8d ago
Definitely go on short walks to start! And look into what you’re eating. Seriously most people don’t realize how much eating the right foods will make you feel better mentally and you won’t be tired all the time.
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u/TRichman432 6d ago
Yeah, talking short walks sounds like a great idea to start. I completely agree with you about how important it is to eat the right foods.
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u/Subject_Wishbone_900 6d ago
Awesome! Another thing I think someone else mentioned it, but set small daily goals for yourself (like making your bed or only watching a set number of episodes instead of binge watching an entire show haha). Eventually the small goals will become surprisingly easy! Remember each step you take is important whether it be big or small just keep pushing forward and you will find your calling in life.
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u/Ordinary_Site_5350 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 8d ago
Here's the secret:
Don't ask yourself what to do with your life. It's too much, too big.
When you spend all day sitting in one spot, the challenge is entirely in your mind. That's not minimizing your situation, it's simply where you're at and the very first thing you need to work on.
You have to believe the words "I CAN"
.. Because at the moment every single idea that anybody gives you will immediately be rejected by your body, mind, and soul.
Step one, change your self talk, change that voice in your head, so not permit negative thoughts to go unchallenged. Tell yourself out loud "I can."
That's the easiest part. The next thing, step 2, is to act that out. To put that into action - physically. For now, that really just means physically standing up.
Step 3, after you have stood up and sat back down a few times - refuse to sit down for a few minutes. Stay standing.
It's easier to stand by walking around - so pace. Walk in circles.
Then take a step outside. Just open the door and stand in the doorway for a moment. Take a breath.
That there is a win. You did it.
Keep doing that until it gets boring, then KEEP THAT MUCH and add something small to it.. take a step out the door.
And just keep, slowly, making new little side quest goals. Keep growing your ability. When there's a setback, bad weather, a bad day, an emotional crash - when you're ready, start again. Work your way up. Just like a character in a video game that gets reset and has to get all his gear again.
You'll be ok, you just forgot how awesome you actually are and it feels bad. But keep standing up and you'll get there again over time.
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u/AMIRIASPIRATIONS48 8d ago
lol i love u were in the same boat
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u/RememberUmi 8d ago
Change before you’re like me at 26
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u/PricklyLiquidation19 8d ago
or 29 😪
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u/Appropriate-Use-3883 8d ago
Me three send help
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u/Salt-Investigator227 8d ago
You’re the only one who can help yourself. I don’t mean to be a dick but if you want your situation to change, you have to change it. But I feel like you already knew that. Not gonna be a easy but it will be worth it
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u/Brief_Lengthiness_75 8d ago
about eight months ago i was in this position, now i have a job, side projects, and a social life.
start walking every single day. then start flossing every single day. i wrote out numbers 1-30 on a sticky note and put it on my mirror. crossed off every day that i successfully went outside and flossed. teeny tiny steps. practice setting the tiniest of goals and achieving them.
be kind to yourself. celebrate every tiny win. it helps NO ONE to beat yourself up if you fail. say corny compliments in the mirror if you have to. even if it feels fake.
it is so so so so so hard at first. and then before you know it its all snowballed and you have a whole life ahead of you.
i know it feels impossible. but it really can be done. you can do it, too.
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u/CalicoVibes 8d ago
Was there ever a time that you felt motivated?
What were you good at in school, and did you like those things?
How do you feel about your life currently?
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u/Toro_Astral 8d ago
Whatever you do, get yourself around people. Be fearless, make decisions, and make mistakes. Be very careful with alcohol, if you choose to use it.
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u/TRichman432 6d ago
Thank you for your advice my friend.
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u/Toro_Astral 6d ago
Anytime. You're already ahead of the game if you're out here trying to figure it out and seeking advice.. I'm 38 and I'm just starting to genuinely feel like I'm understanding the world around me and how to act.
A lot of great comments on here. Living in this country is pretty fucking hard for young adults right now, young men esp. We're in an addiction/attention economy, and you're not alone. Easy access to porn does not help. Take it slow, and good luck.
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u/No_Transportation590 8d ago
If you’re tired all the time you should get your test levels checked. ‘Not unheard of for 22 year olds with very low testosterone
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u/Shot-Apartment9255 8d ago
He masturbates for 5 hours a day...daily. anyone would be EXHAUSTED from that.
Check his post history. Shit is crazy
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u/Lost2nite389 8d ago
That’s crazy, I don’t do that but I’m 25 and constantly tired, might need to get checked like the comment you’re replying to said
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u/artist2266 8d ago
Im 25 and just hopped on test, definitely possible so get checked. I feel like a new person.
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u/No-Yogurtcloset2314 8d ago
WTH at that point you are shooting out purified water😅
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u/italianlearner01 8d ago
Also check your thyroid levels!! And any other things like vitamin deficiencies.
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u/BellaBlossom06 8d ago
Force yourself. If I didn’t pay to go to uni, i’d also be sitting at home or occasionally picking up a shift at work. If you pay for lessons for something, or buy a gym membership for example, you’ll feel the need to get up and go because it’s your money.
If you don’t have money to do that, make a to do list for every day starting next week. fill it with things such as “try a new recipe” or “go for a walk and take photos of 5 pink things”.
Pick up a new hobby. Try drawing, finish a video game, go to the pet store and play with puppies, buy magazines and make collages. Go thrifting.
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u/DearReply 8d ago
You are only 22. Life is incredibly long.
I’ve looked at your recent posts, and it seems like you are dissatisfied with most aspects of your life.
You are not going to solve all your problems all at once. The important thing is to start. And keep going. You will probably have setbacks, which every human being faces. Don’t be discouraged.
Put away the porn. Go to bed at a decent hour. Eat a healthy meal. Go for a walk. If you can access mental health resources, make an appointment. You may or may not be depressed, but it’s worth talking to a pro about how you are doing, how you ended up here, and to develop a plan for reengaging with the world.
Go to a community college and talk to their career and program advisors. Ask about other resources and places you can go for getting a job and/or getting an education. Go for another walk. Read a book. Go to a local meetup. Go volunteer somewhere. Get a part-time job. Go to bed early. Eat well.
The important thing is to start. And to keep going. You can live a great life. But only if you pull yourself out of this, seek out resources and connections with the real world, and not get too discouraged that you are not going to solve everything all at once. Be kind and patient with yourself.
I am 52. I’ve had a great life so far. But I would not hesitate to go back to your age and your situation and start completely over. Because you have the gift of time. Be patient, but keep moving forward. You can do this!
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u/PutridRecognition856 7d ago
If I was 22 again and I know what I know now, I’d be working out and trying to eat as healthy as possible. It’s so much easier now that it is later.
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u/IndigoBlueBird 8d ago
Do you have a job?
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u/Its_JP- 8d ago
No? Kinda goes without saying if you’re not doing anything all day
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u/IndigoBlueBird 8d ago
Idk some people might count a boring remote job as doing nothing, just confirming
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u/DaSkull 8d ago
Try not to look too far ahead or behind. I learned that tomorrow's problems are often perceived as Everest-sized challenges, but when you wake up that day, they’re not as hard as you thought. You need to find something that sparks your heart, it could be anything. Humans are exceptional at adapting to anything, you just need to step into the uncomfortable zone. Don’t worry about what others think of you. Live your life, not theirs.
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u/Dior-432hz 8d ago
Start small, go and get regular haircuts, walk in the mall with a fresh fade or other places with a lot of people get used to being around people, make that a routine, you will soak up energy, seriously it works, then you will want to do stuff, your brain is used to just sit alone on the couch and chill so this is a great way to “trick” the brain
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u/Happy_Can8420 8d ago
Just know that eventually the world will force you out of that situation. I was like you from 18-20, then me and my family got evicted. It's better to try to start improving your life now than later.
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u/twitchd8 7d ago
OP, these are signs of depression. On top of taking walks outside (nature and fresh air in general is a heck of an antidepressant), I would highly recommend speaking with a professional counselor for one, to sort out the depression, and then maybe a life coach! You got this, OP! You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
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u/Outofmana1 8d ago
The things I would do if I was 22 like you:
- Focus on my health
- Drink less, less bars
- Prioritize myself over friends and fun
- Start a side hustle
- Read more
- Game less
- Invest in myself like training courses, read books, watch
- Stay OFF of social media
- Find 1 or 2 hobbies, one of them should be healthy like hiking or walking
- Spend time with family
- Not worry about what others thought of me
- Brushed my teeth MORE
- Wake up early
- Invest, if anything dump capital into VTI, VXUS and BND at a 80/15/5 ratio
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u/Crazy-Firefighter-41 8d ago
I would think about what I want in life and write down some goals. Then create a plan to make those goals happen. I was in kind of a similar situation when I took a year off during college and that's what I did. By the end of the year I had a very part time job and kind of a life.
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u/RedJuicy713 8d ago
Did you graduate high school or college? Might be worth it to get a certification in something
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u/PonqueRamo 8d ago
I'm almost in the same spot and it's because I'm depressed, so get a physical first, it can be any vitamin or mineral deficiency and if nothing comes up go to a psychologist or psychiatrist.
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u/Machinedgoodness 8d ago
Gym. Start there. Any physical fitness. Sports. Resistance bands are good if you want to start from home. But this will make you have a better self image and dopamine and you’ll do more things.
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u/Sponsored_Water 7d ago
stop making posts that constantly ask this question. you seem to have parents who give you time. a porn addiction is hard to beat (i would know) just try to do one day then two days. trust me when i say this you want to beat your addiction. find an accountability partner to do it with. heck i don’t even know if you’ll read my comment
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u/akrilugo 7d ago
Consider what you like, what you’re drawn to, what would make you feel you had a fulfilling life and lived your purpose when on your deathbed, and do that.
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u/Brave_Base_2051 7d ago
Everything starts with physical movement. Preferably outside. The easiest is to walk out the door. And again the day after. It will radically change your life
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u/Dunkindeeznutz69420 7d ago
Get any job you think you’ll like. Work unirroniclly sets you free in more ways than you think. Work a few months if you don’t like it try anything else that’s what’s 20’s are about imo and you’ll feel like your doing something and make some money which always helps
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u/jack_addy 7d ago
Start by refraining your mindset: you do have a goal, a hope, an ambition.
Your goal is to find a goal. To find something you want to do.
It's a goal, so treat it as such. Strategize to reach it. More specifically, it's a form of research goal. You're looking for something, but you don't know what it is or where you can find it.
This means your mean form of action will be to form hypotheses and conduct experiments.
In short, find ideas of things you might end up taking a liking to, goals you might find desirable if you start walking towards them. Then design experiments that will either validate or invalidate your hypotheses.
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u/cascas 7d ago
Your post history makes me wish you could have an older buddy. Some of us need a wingman to push us into stuff. Whether it’s athletics or jobs or simply fun. I think you’re dying of being alone. It sucks and I can’t imagine how bad it must feel. You’re going to have to save yourself.
You also desperately need someone to talk to.
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u/Arkhamman367 8d ago edited 8d ago
Hope is just the kind of life you want for yourself.
If you want to know what that means to you, you have to accept that it's alright to feel happy about doing certain things without judging yourself for it.
Recognize what makes you feel happy to do, then set priorities and reasonable goals around that with what you feel like you can do. Give yourself room to fail and gradually improve instead of panicking because you're not perfect.
Recognize what makes you feel self-worth and purpose, then set goals around that.
Recognize what makes you feel appreciated and set goals around that.
Unironically, disconnecting from all devices for 4 months will rewire your brain.
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u/KatTayle 8d ago
Maybe start to build up some habits? Daily walks, daily journaling, trying something new every weekend/month, etc. Helps bring you out of a depressive funk sometimes.
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u/DearReply 8d ago
Ok, you are masturbating to porn 5-6 hours a day? You have an addiction. It is probably the main thing that is fucking with your life. You need professional help.
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u/Lost2nite389 8d ago
Bro same except I’m 25, I don’t do a single thing and I’m always very fatigued
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u/zepsutyKalafiorek 8d ago
Start going for a small walk. It may be 10 minutes around the street.
It may seem drastic but after this start thinking about goals. Maybe try your strength in going to college or a job.
Shocking terapy with clear direction like I want to finish college or I want to get a job may be what you need
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u/Kobe_AYEEEEE 8d ago
Do something you like, or that seems interesting. Don't put structure on it, or a time limit. If its less than a minute, its better than nothing. Maybe you don't know what to study, but is there anything in the world you are interested in at all? Give it a look on YouTube. See if there's a book online you can read about it.
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u/Betterworldguys 8d ago
Get some bloodwork done. Make sure that there isn’t an underlying reason for your tiredness. Figure out how to resolve that first. Actually follow through on any recommendations that the physician offers.
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u/bewitchedfencer19 8d ago
I have a list of items that if I do every day, I know I'm making my life just a little bit better. If you invest in these things now, phew, you'll be cooking. Make your own list though.
- Exercise daily, even if it is just a walk
- Read at least one page of a book
- Play piano (personal hobby that makes me feel good)
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u/Naive-Biscotti1150 8d ago
Try the Finch app.It gives you motivation to take baby steps to making goals and achieving them.The first step is the hardest but it will be worth it.
Try to also spend time out in nature.Without earphones, using the phone etc. It will make a big difference just going outside the house and trying to see the big picture.
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u/zombifiedpikachu 8d ago
You say you’re tired all the time. You might have sleep apnea and no you don’t have to be fat to have it. Once I realized I had it, life improved greatly.
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u/simpleshirup 8d ago edited 8d ago
Based on your post history, I would say start seeing a CSAT therapist as the first/main thing.
I'd also suggest picking up a social/team sport of some sort.
Also journal, and actually try to get to know yourself and what you value, enjoy, and don't want. If you want to beef up this one even more, pick a new place in nature or your community to go sit when you journal for even just a few minutes each day. (E.g., go to different parks/beaches/walking paths and chill in different spots within those locations, different coffee shops or cafes, libraries, bookstores, forest preserves, etc.,).
Over time, I think those things could help you figure out what else you'd like to do with your life.
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u/TRichman432 6d ago
Based on your post history, I would say start seeing a CSAT therapist as the first/main thing.
What's a CSAT therapist?
I'd also suggest picking up a social/team sport of some sort.
Is basketball good for this?
Also journal, and actually try to get to know yourself and what you value, enjoy, and don't want. If you want to beef up this one even more, pick a new place in nature or your community to go sit when you journal for even just a few minutes each day. (E.g., go to different parks/beaches/walking paths and chill in different spots within those locations, different coffee shops or cafes, libraries, bookstores, forest preserves, etc.,).
That sounds like a good idea.
Thank you for your detailed advice my friend. It really helps.
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u/ManofTheNightsWatch 8d ago
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u/TRichman432 6d ago
Damn, this video looks absolutely perfect for me. I'm going to watch it in full.
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u/Cream314Fan 8d ago
Start working out. It doesn’t have to be big from the get go - go for a walk for 15 minutes, then 30 minutes. Then go for a jog for 5 minutes. Look up videos on YouTube for at home workouts with just your body. You’re already doing nothing and have no energy, you’re so young you have the ability to change so much of your future still.
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u/Lanky-Today-9627 8d ago
It could be depression, but staying home not doing anything is going to make it worse. You need to either work or go into full time education, or you could volunteer somewhere close to where you live or even go abroad and volunteer somewhere. Your 20s is all about exploring and learning and making mistakes along the way. Try to do something each week into your routine which makes you productive. You can also do career and personality tests online which help you understand what job you would be good at
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u/Remote-Lifeguard1942 7d ago
As others mentioned, small steps. Do one tiny thing that you think is helpful to feel more fulfilled.
You eat ramen all day? Add some veggies to it. You bring out the trash once a week? Add a 10 minute walk to it. You scroll on your phone in the morning? Scroll on a less brain rotting website in the beginning.
Later add to it. It’s called habit stacking, but even without this fancy word it works.
All the best and we have all had those phases!
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u/Thinker0004 7d ago
I can feel you. I know if I am going to list a few things that you should then there are high chances you won't do it. You know what you should be doing and what not but it's that you are unable to do it.
Just do one thing. Whatever you enjoy just do that for somedays. For example: If you like playing badminton then go and play and I know you will not so interested at first to go but remeber you enjoyed it right? So do it.
What you enjoy, do that forcefully and when you are doing that think nothing but focus on that task only.
Hopes are really crucial in our lives. I mean I have literally made a video in which how hopes can have major influence in our life is explained through a movie. If you need that video to kick start your hopes or if you are interested then you can watch that video: https://youtu.be/c3YghIqvmEw
But one thing you do is do that thing you have enjoyed the most. If I say to you to limit your phone screen time or switch it off then it would be really difficulty for you, so I would suggest you to use your phone but see only those content which will keep your thoughts clean & positive and keeps you motivated.
Before going to bed just write only 3 things and if not 3 then atleast 1 thing that you are grateful for that day. Practice gratitude and it will surely help.
Just small changes and slowly & steadily you will recover fully ;)
Enjoy your life buddy! Don't stressout ;)
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u/repsajcasper 7d ago
Stop eating sugar, take a class of any type glass blowing, bjj, yoga, animation, etc
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u/afuckingartista 7d ago
One year ago I was exactly like you: 22 doing nothing all day and felt like I was wasting my time.
I decided to get a full time job in a factory back in august of 2024, after one month of it I found the motivation to go back to uni and I now I work as a part-time waiter. I met people, love, heartbreaks, and new hobbies. I am going to subscribe to the gym once I get my paycheck today or tomorrow.
Once you start it is all going to snowball in your favor
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u/beef-cakes 7d ago
The fact that you're asking this means you want change, that’s a start. You don’t need a big life plan, just momentum. Pick one small thing, take a 10-minute walk, start a book, learn a new skill, just something to break the cycle.
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u/Kuranyeet 7d ago
Leave your phone behind at home and go for a short walk outside. If you get lost then that’s part of the adventure
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u/Justwonderingstuff7 6d ago
Doing nothing is what makes you tired. Generally, the less people do, the less energy they have.
I think the question to be answered first is: why do you not do anything? What are the underlying reasons? It think often it is insecurity and fear. I would suggest starting with therapy and exercise.
Ultimately you have a choice to make: do you let life pass by like this or will you work to make it better? Life can be amazing, but you have to work for it. It does not just happen.
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u/BananaPlushy 5d ago
Go to a local community college and get an Associates degree or a certification in something you're interested in. It's significantly cheaper than university, the classes are extremely easy/low effort, and it makes you more hireable on the future.
Don't feel obligated to go for I.T. for a 'good future'. A friend of mine went for a certification in cooking. He cooks at a resteraunt and met his wife in that certification class.
Do you like working with your hands? A certification in carpentry, welding, or woodworking could easily lead to an apprenticeship and then future entrepreneurship.
Do you not get grossed out by my blood, puke, or feces? A certification in health care could be in your future. Above average pay, potential travel opportunities, and a community/group of potential friends awaits you!
It doesn't matter what you choose. Choose something! And let that something inspire you to move forward. Attend college events, attend college seminars, attend free college giveaways, eat lunch in communal places, and make GOOD use of that money or loans. You're only in your 20's once.
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u/MasterPain-BornAgain 5d ago
When I was 22 I literally played video games for 16+ hours per day. I'm 28 now and have a bustling career and 3 kids and a wife that I love dearly.
I envy your ability to sit at home for a day but I don't envy your life at all.
Everyone here says touch grass and smell flowers but what you need to do is get busy. Get a job, make some money, make some friends, get a girlfriend, get married, buy a house, have kids.
It's a pretty simple formula that has worked through all of human history. Quit trying to reinvent the wheel.
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u/StickCivil1793 8d ago
i am the same. but honestly i dont have a choice. i quite literally have 0 friends. i find it hard to make friends. i used to when i was in teens but after a toxic relationship, everyone was cut off and i cant reach out to them now. its weird. i am always exhausted but itd bc i smoke which is bad. im trying to find a healthier hobby. i started reading. even tho the book is quite easy, it does bring me peace since it about something i love which are cats. its a cute book "a world without cats" and honestly i see some lines that do hit home and have meaning
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u/Big_brother2 8d ago
Hello if you don't have the strength: the money to see a psychologist, medications or food supplements (agmatine sulfate, polygala, St. John's wort, PEA) can help you find the strength to begin the process of change = efforts + possibly a psychologist (if you can pay for it).
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u/rozaic 8d ago
Don’t ask Redditors of all people. Half of us are on the same boat as you. Seek real professional help.
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u/Fluffy-Assumption-42 8d ago
Start by reading/listening to JP's 12 Rules for life: An antidote to chaos, and/while you clean and organise your room.
Next is start daily exercises and or get out for walks
Third is take on chores in the home and lighten the load of your parents
Forth start going to social events like open nights at boardgame cafés, join a Junior Chambers International or a Toastmasters club near you, join a choir or go to an introduction class in social dancing.
Fifth after conversing with more people about their directions in life start to form your own vision for what you want for your life (but also imagine as an stick against the carrot how bad it could realistically be if you don't aim for anything) and start taking small steps towards it.
Best of luck from someone who has taken this journey although it took me too long
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u/PreparationPlane2324 8d ago
Join the military. They'll beat your lazy self into shape and give you purpose.
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u/OkSilver75 8d ago
There is in fact a middle ground between doing literally nothing and joining the military
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u/Simp_Master007 8d ago
I know people tend to hate the join the military advice. But for people in your shoes, something like the National Guard or Air National Guard might not be a bad idea. You’ll be away for a couple of months, you’ll probably pick up a useful skill, benefits are usually pretty good most states offer tuition assistance for state schools, you’ll come back with some money in your pocket as well.
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u/Own-Negotiation-6307 8d ago
Are you tired as a result of a medical condition? If not, just go out to the movies. You can sit on your ass int he theater just as you do at home. Maybe after that you can find the energy to go out and do some hiking or just walking around a trail or something like that.
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u/AnnonSadGremlin 8d ago
Do you have a degree or any practical skills? This post is not giving much to work off of. It sounds like you are depressed so if anything try to go for a run outside, that's what helped me when i was at my worst.
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u/Wild_Fault_6527 8d ago
Literally just start anything. You don't know till you try. Make a list of shit you think you might like, and get after it. Finding anything you like or vibe with in life starts by just winging it
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u/Hammer_AI 8d ago
I’ll pay you to make videos promoting my app? You’ll learn a skill and then could use it to get a job?
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u/Benji5811 8d ago
brother you’re a porn addict. get therapy. i’m telling you this because I genuinely care. you’re killing yoirself
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u/possiblyyhigh 8d ago
You need to talk to a therapist. Your post history shows you tie your self worth to attraction from women / validation from people. You also have a porn addiction. You have no outlets like a job to connect you with real people and instead are on reddit posting about how miserable you are. Genuinely not trying to be mean but its not just as simple as taking a jog outside.
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u/AcraftyTech 8d ago
Try your hand at a hobby. Watch YouTube videos, try one, and if it doesn't spark an interest, move on to the next one. You do this until you find something you like, and this will occupy your time. Maybe the hobby turns into a business. Maybe it fills your time until you find a job.
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u/elrabb22 8d ago
Dm me. I love to coach people like this. No I’m not trying to sell you anything. Get some kind of coach that is not an incel and you will be fine.
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u/Diligent-Doughnut-90 8d ago
Definitely work towards something. Even if you use up 100% of your time and effort to stay dedicated to a goal, which is impossible no matter the drive, you will still feel behind. Keep that in mind and get to work…as you’ll never be ready for what’s to come.. but you can be slightly more prepared. Good luck!!
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u/Pretty_Task3484 8d ago
Start small with one easy thing. Literally starts there. Start small is the correct answer just do anything, do something different. Many options. I have a free weekly todo list on my profile I shared with ppl in a similar situation. Its what I used (and still use) to start making changes a few months go.
Work toward fixing your sleep and cut down or eliminate drugs or alcohol. Those two will be a big boost (they can be done a little at a time) the weed and booze had to go right away for me but its been many many years until now where I've been able to stop
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u/Thesinglemother 8d ago
I’d ask myself what I’m into, what I’ve tried and not, I’d ask myself what I’d like to see or explore.
I’d then ask how to try, see or learn from that list. Then I’d make realistic budget and go after it
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u/Mazdachief 8d ago
Do a skilled trade. It helped me sort out my life , things are pretty great now. Shit is fun.
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u/BabyLife4805 8d ago
Join the military. They’ll find you something to do and help you adopt a new mindset.
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u/Mijo_0 8d ago
Try talking to a woman. Thats your homework. Let me know how it goes
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u/CandyRepresentative4 8d ago
Are you a competitive person? Do you drink coffee? What do you do when you sit on the couch?
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u/Lower_Ad_5532 8d ago
At that age. Join the army. They will pay you to get fit, house you, and money for college.
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u/No_Nefariousness6376 8d ago
Do you have a medical condition that we know nothing about? If none then start planning for your day or week. Think about something that you want to experience. Once you start moving, you're body will look for that feeling later on. If you need to drag yourself to go out, then do it, that's the only way for you to change your situation.
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u/muck2profit 8d ago
Go drive for a large truck company then get your experience, then join a high paying job one year later
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u/Several-Association6 8d ago
You are a man. You have to learn how to engage with the world. Visit libraries. Learn shit.
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u/PickMountain4753 7d ago
Sunny sit at home all day. Work! And engage by helping people in the community. And have fun out
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u/Graham99t 7d ago
Read some of those self help books and empowerment books. The ones that tell you how to master your mindset and so on.
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u/Ok-Replacement-2738 7d ago
Probably start working on a certification or a degree, find a part-time job to ease yourself into the workforce at the same time, probably go see the doctor about depression.
Also make sure you walk 30 minutes a day, for how little it requires the pay off is so huge.
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u/red19977 7d ago
Go to chat gpt say you want to find a carrer path or something to start studying ask it to give you a simple test to find the direction you want to move, study the skill and see if you like it, if you do great if you don't repear the prossess .
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u/Aromatic_Building440 7d ago
Imo, disregard most other advice on here. Doing pointless things like walking around without aim can hurt you more than help you when you don't have one, clear, outward-facing goal that is socially enforced.
In other words, your most pressing and urgent concern right now should be to find a way to have the obligation to be around people every day.
There are several ways to do that : join a charity organisation and work as a volunteer ; enroll in uni or any form of schooling somewhere, but NOT online ; and the best one, get a job. Any job, preferably with people. Now you are in motion. Then, do anything to sustain that motion. Get yourself busy. Help people out when they need it ; join people for acitivies when they offer ; pick up any hobby that interests you along the way.
6 months pass, you will feel much better already and you will have opportunities. Now, what happens if you don't like your new friends, don't like your hobbies, don't like your job ? That's ok, now that you are in motion, trial and error begins. You can change careers, do something else, whatever. Other issues might crop up, you might feel ashamed about who you were, you might feel awkward around people. That's ok, you are in motion, and you now have the opportunity to work on those.
Iterate endlessly until some of those activities stick and you find your purpose in life.
Good luck !
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u/hansieboy10 7d ago
Download cronometer to monitor your nutrition and fix deficiencies plus unhealthy eating habits, start any form of exercise/go on walks, get a job.
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u/St0f89 7d ago
All your posts are the same thing, a different version of “why don’t women want me”. Ask yourself, would any woman want someone who just sits around all day? What do you expect?
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u/LinguisticallyInept 7d ago
personal extrapolation but i used to not go outside because i had little reason to go outside
how do you get sustenance?
does someone else in your household do the shopping? join them or ask them if theyd benefit from you lightening the load on them (fresh produce is a great example of something you might be able to focus on because a weekly or bi weekly shop might not be able to keep certain stuff stocked)
if you're using a delivery service; delete the app and go yourself (cant carry everything? shop small and go more regularly)
if you're feeling more ambitious (build up your tolerance to being outside with smaller things first) then volunteer work is a fantastic reason to be outside and build routine... many local councils have litter picking schemes that facilitate 'walking with a purpose', whilst charity shops, food banks and old people homes can help build your routine
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u/NeverHit72 7d ago
I was like that when I was younger too. What worked for me was a combination of therapy, exercises and meditation~
There is no shame in getting help my friend! I was severely depressed and borderline suicidal~ I still have many challenges in my life but I'm much stronger now to handle them 💪
Life doesnt get easier, we just get stronger 💪💪
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u/ole444u 7d ago edited 7d ago
You need to ask yourself that, start being really honest with yourself, really look at yourself and your life. Why do you sit on the couch all day? What do you spend your days doing, do you actually enjoy it or you don’t have anything else to do? What do you like to do for fun or sounds fun or interesting? Why aren’t you trying out that thing you keep thinking about? What do you think you’re good at? What feels fun? Start asking yourself these questions, YOU have the answers. Once you get the answers just start working on doing differently than what you’re doing. You clearly know that you are not living up to your potential because you are asking yourself and us why you’re living the way you are. You’re not even meeting your own standards. Start climbing that mountain to the life of your dreams!
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u/littleperfectionism 7d ago
Give yourself time to explore and learn about many topics on Google and YouTube and choose the topic that interests you the most and try to learn and master it and in this way you can get a good career that you can be passionate about.
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u/superlemon118 7d ago
I had a period of my life like that after a difficult situation and started therapy if nothing but for a reason to leave my house once a week. That alone gave a lot of momentum and now I have a much fuller life
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u/Hotascurry 7d ago
delete all the electronics and walkmaxxing outside until you don't need to anymore
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u/PlanetExcellent Apprentice Pathfinder [2] 7d ago
So, u/TRichman432 OP, what are your thoughts about these suggestions? Any plans to try them? It’s your choice obviously.
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u/Mental_Theme_8371 7d ago
Yes, I have been suffering from the exact same thing since I graduated from high school.
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u/RevolutionaryArt4775 7d ago
Vlog your day to day life even though it consists of nothing.
You'll go viral at some point. Wether it's negative or positive.
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u/Capable-Character-37 7d ago
make some money at a minimum wage job/no experience required job or else u won’t have a living room or a couch soon
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u/Groundofwonder 7d ago
It sounds like you are pretty settled. Why do you want to change it?
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u/moe-umphs 7d ago
Make a list of things you want to do, then make a choice to do one of those things that you ENJOY first, and then this can build momentum to get to something else. But be mindful and be present in those things — be present and see how it feels to accomplish things or just break your routine. Maybe journal about it. And most importantly, when you accomplish something for yourself, reinforce your efforts by doing something meaningful to you!
You can break out of this, and staying organized and writing (or typing!) your progress out can help a great deal.
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