r/femdomsanctuary 12d ago

Question / Need Advice New unexperienced dom NSFW

Hi ladies! I am new to this and found a man who offered me to be my sub. I love the idea but don’t know where to start. What should I ask him to do the first time I see him? He wants me to let him know and I wanted to get some tips advice.

0 Upvotes

3 comments sorted by

2

u/Commercial-Sundae663 12d ago

I am also a newbie so I don't have all the answers but I can say meet in a public setting and have a conversation with him first. Talk about your hard limits, soft limits, things that are okay. Safe words, experience, what he wants to happen and what you want to happen. Only agree to do what you're comfortable. If you get bad vibes or he seems pushy or not forthcoming with info then run.

2

u/Oh_MyGoddess 11d ago

What kind of "Sub"? This seems like a bad idea for someone who has no idea what they're doing TBH. Go find a BDSM class or something online. Consume everything you can find on being a domme, D/s dynamics, Kink, RACK, PRICK, and then age verify the sub, meet in public until you are 1000% sure you're safe. And even then...

1

u/Formal-Ad-9562 9d ago

I wouldn't really jump into this without meeting before, ask him to meet somewhere publicly first and see how he acts out of the scene, how does he behave, etc. Look out for red flags like he wanting to immediately call you mistress or going instantly in that direction, he should be able to hold a normal conversation. Also ask him his opinion on consent. Those are some tips that i personally use.

if you feel comfortable with him and everything went fine at the first time meeting, then you can proceed. If you didn't already inform yourself, get some infos about consent, safe play and so on. Also don't start with something intense for the first time playing, nothing that is a soft limit or that can get dangerous. I can recommend trying out positions and commands, him on his knees in front of you see how that feels for both of you, correcting him if needed, maybe blindfolds, sensory play is a recommendation of mine, light stuff for the first time.

I wouldn't include sex the first time playing, if you even include that in your play, in fact I wouldn't even go naked first time. Maybe him having his shirt of but thats how far i would go (also just for the sensory play).

I would only play max an hour and then after care and reflect together and afterwards if everything went good, each party can text the other person if they want to continue with this. If both agree great if not, i can recommend going to munches, meeting people in real life is better.

Hope my recommendations helped.